by Abigail Agar
Jonathan was utterly overwhelmed by his mother’s decision and the fact that she was unwilling to see it any other way. He could not believe that she cared so little for him, but he recognized that he ought to have known all along. This was unfair in every fashion.
But this was life. This was England. This was the way of the world.
“Can you refill my tea, please?” she asked, carelessly, holding out her cup. The teapot was on the table beside Jonathan and he understood that she was trying to show him how little she cared about his emotions in this situation. But he cared little for hers.
Instead of showing her the respect of filling her tea, he turned away from her. There was no warmth between them and no reason for pretense. If he wanted, Jonathan could kick his mother out of the house.
This was his home, his title, his wealth. The only reason he had not gotten rid of her was because she was his mother and he wanted to be a better son than that. He wanted to make her proud, to keep her happy. If she could not accept that he was doing his best, she would at least have to accept that he was not going to be pushed around.
Jonathan retired to a place he rarely went, especially when he was upset.
He went to his bedroom and laid on the bed. He did not have the energy for a ride or for any sort of activity. He had no desire to see anyone, to speak further, to handle the issues before him. He simply lay there, thinking about everything which had just taken place.
No matter how much he wanted to fight for better things, he could not bear to imagine what his life might be like when his mother was always in such a fury. He deserved better than this and could not pretend otherwise.
Jonathan closed his eyes and tried to sleep, thinking it must be the cure for his sudden exhaustion. The fact was, his mind was exhausted, not his body. He could not sleep through his thoughts. He could not convince his body to rest.
He sat up and moved over to the desk in the corner of his vast room. This room could easily hold half the house that he and Miss Windsor had been working on.
He decided to write down his thoughts, to make a list of all the steps he would need to take to make things right and to be with Miss Windsor. Once he figured out how he could handle the matter with her aunt and uncle, he tried to write out some of his thoughts regarding his mother.
Would he have to abandon his mother? Would he have to leave this life behind, knowing that Miss Windsor would never be accepted as his wife and that his mother would insinuate to everyone that she had lived an unchaste life?
No matter what, he knew that he could not be happy unless he married Miss Windsor. Eleanor Windsor. She was his life now and nothing else mattered. If she was willing to forgive him for hiding the truth from her, maybe she would be willing to accept the consequences of society as his mother would put them forth.
Unsure of what else to do, Jonathan made his decision firm. He would find a way to get her back.
Chapter 28
“Eleanor, sit,” Aunt Glenda ordered, standing in the parlour with a scowl on her face. Ellie understood the trouble she was in. This was worse than anything she could have imagined.
“I trust you understand the extent of what you have done?” her aunt asked.
“Indeed, Aunt Glenda, I am aware,” she replied.
“What happened yesterday cannot happen again. I am shocked and ashamed of you. I ought to have known that this was going to happen, but I truly never imagined that you were going to ruin us like this. It is amazing to me that I believed you were actually smart enough to make better choices than your mother did. Now, I understand what a fool I was. It is positively dreadful to think that I ever trusted you,” she said.
“There is no reason to—”
“I am not finished speaking, Eleanor! You had best stay silent while I tell you how things will be, moving forward. You must understand that I am absolutely horrified by what you have done. You cannot imagine the horror of discovering that the young woman I am meant to be looking after is sneaking away with some man I do not know. Do you understand how this looks?” she demanded.
Ellie nodded. She wanted desperately to refute her aunt’s anger, to express that it wasn’t at all what her aunt thought it was, but she could not find it within herself to stand up against her. She knew that her aunt would only yell at her for even trying to defend herself.
“Now, you must know that there will be consequences. These consequences are far greater than any you have faced under my care before, but they are perfectly necessary.”
Instantly, Ellie felt a wave of dread. She knew that her aunt was capable of inflicting all manner of misery upon her and she was utterly petrified of the idea that she might be stuck inside even longer. After she had been discovered with Mr. Potts the day before, her aunt had locked her inside her small closet of a room and Ellie had not been able to escape.
It was sheer torture to be inside for so long, without the fresh air or the garden or anything else. She had not even been allowed to see Katherine as her aunt now considered her a bad example. It was overwhelming and upsetting beyond anything Ellie could imagine.
She had begun to wonder what more she could do to get out of this, but there was nothing at all. She had to accept whatever fate her aunt cast upon her. There was nothing more that could be done and she would simply have to hold her breath and hope for the best.
“The first thing you must surely know by now is that you are to remain inside. No matter what. You have no rights to go to the garden, to go to the door, even. You may be in your room and, when I am home, you may be here in the parlour. I have instructed the maid to be here when I am not, and she shall report to me if you attempt to leave your room. You ought to be warned that she is being paid quite well for this extra time and, as such, she will be loyal to me,” her aunt said.
“I may not even go to the garden?” Ellie asked in horror, not sure how she was going to get by. And for how long? Did her aunt intend for this to be a lengthy prison sentence or was she only going to subject Ellie to this for a short time?
“No, not even the garden. This is your punishment, Eleanor. You are not going to be able to pick and choose the consequences, and I do not expect you to be foolhardy enough to expect anything different,” she said.
“But I did nothing wrong. I know you do not believe me, but I promise you—”
“How many times must I tell you to cease this nonsense? I do not wish to hear your excuses or your lies. You were discovered with a man, Eleanor. You are not going to easily escape this. I have made my decision and this is to be your consequence. Whatever other hopes you have for your life, you are to remain here, at home, without any privileges,” she said.
“F-for how long?” Ellie asked, frightened to hear the answer.
Her aunt smiled with satisfaction and folded her hands across her middle.
“I am so glad you have asked that. This is the rest of the news which I have for you. You are to abide by these restrictions only until Saturday,” her aunt said.
Ellie breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t believe that it was only for a matter of a few days that she would have to be stuck like this! Why was her aunt being so generous? Ellie had expected far worse. She was confused, but entirely relieved.
“The reason for this is because, on Saturday, you are to marry Wendell Carruthers,” she said.
Everything came crashing, all at once. Ellie could scarcely believe what she had just heard. It wasn’t possible.
“M-marry Wendell Carruthers?” she asked.
“Yes, precisely. You are to marry him on Saturday and it is going to be absolutely wonderful. We are delighted that he has agreed to this, as has his mother, which is far more important. They are unaware of your galivanting with this other man and we intend to keep it that way. If you should do anything to jeopardize this match at the last moment, you are to be banished from our home entirely—and from the home which your mother and father owned,” she warned.
Ellie swallowed and inhaled a ra
gged breath. She could hardly believe this. Although she had known that the consequences would be swift and harsh, she had not expected that her aunt was going to be this cruel about it. She never anticipated the consequences to be so extreme.
“I—I am to be married this weekend?” she asked in a high-pitched squeak.
“Indeed. You shall put on your best dress, march to the church, and marry without complaint. Wendell Carruthers is a decent enough young man and far better than you reasonably deserve at this point. I understand that you may think I am cruel for insisting upon these things, but you shall come to see in time that it is necessary. You deserve to be punished far worse, in my mind. Indeed, you should really come to think of me as being perfectly generous, given the circumstance,” she said.
Ellie could not respond. She had never imagined it would be this bad.
“Now, Wendell shall be here at any moment and—”
As if by magic, there was a knock at the door. Ellie sat in silence while her aunt answered and greeted Wendell and his mother. When they entered the room, she stood up and silently curtsied.
“Good afternoon, Miss Windsor,” Wendell greeted her.
“Mr. Carruthers,” she said in reply.
The air was quiet and tense for a moment, but Mrs. Carruthers quickly moved about with urgency.
“Very well! Now, let us go for a walk, shall we?” she asked, as if anyone had any opinions to the contrary. The whole moment was a shock to Ellie’s system.
They went outside and she was glad that she could at least breathe in real air. Understanding that these moments were exempt from her aunt’s rules, Ellie didn’t mind so much having this opportunity to get out of the house. But she still was unsure as to how long she would be able to handle the restrictions or how she would be able to marry Wendell.
As his mother and her aunt walked behind, involved in their own conversation, Wendell and Ellie were able to speak freely.
“You have heard about the wedding, I presume?” he asked.
She nodded.
“I am so sorry. I know that you are unhappy about it. I do not know what is going on, but it is clear that you are being punished,” he told her.
Ellie looked at him with embarrassment and apology.
“It is nothing against you, I promise,” she said.
“I know. I expect that you are in love with someone else?” he asked.
She bit her lip and then nodded.
“I am. I am terribly sorry, but I do promise to be faithful to you if we must marry. You may rest assured that I shall never go against you or pursue impropriety. I am not the sort of woman to…well, you understand,” she said, uncomfortable.
“Yes, I know. I, too, care for another, but, like you, I would never be unfaithful to my spouse. If we are to marry, you may be certain that I am going to honor you,” he promised.
“Thank you, Mr. Carruthers. I am relieved to hear that. I expect that, no matter what we each may feel, we are going to have a long journey ahead of learning to be at peace with the decisions which have been made on our behalf. I know that we are both unlikely to feel an overwhelming satisfaction about it all, but I do think that we can trust one another and, for that, I am grateful,” Ellie said.
“As am I,” he replied.
“May I ask why you are not marrying the woman you care for?” she asked.
“My father and hers are not at peace with one another. They used to be friends, but things have changed for them. Because of that, they no longer approve of the idea of my marriage to her,” he said.
“That is quite a shame. I am sorry that you are not able to be with her. It must be awful for you. I know that it is not easy having to be subject to the whims of our families,” she said.
“And you? Why are you not marrying the man you love?”
“It is my own fault. I did not know how to tell them that there was a man I cared for. As a result, they thought I was hiding him for immoral purposes. I assure you that no such thing occurred, but they would not believe me. I can understand, of course. I should not have hidden him from them as I did. I was not sure if he cared for me enough to pursue a courtship so I did not encourage him to speak with them,” she said.
“I understand. That is very difficult. I do promise, however, to make every effort to be a good husband and to keep you happy. I will try to give you the freedoms which I know to be important to you. I shall make every effort to allow you the time you wish for going outside. And I have found a home for us and hope that you may build the garden as you please,” he said.
“You are so very thoughtful,” Ellie noted. “I am very fortunate that, if I cannot marry the man I love, I am to marry one whom I trust and can be friends with of a sort.”
“I suppose we both have the choice of being sad for our loss or being content with what we are able to have. I appreciate that you are choosing contentment. I do hope that I can be as optimistic as you are. Honestly, I think it will be good for me to be around you. I am so…so reserved that I think I am probably rather boring,” he apologized.
“Not boring. We are just different and there is nothing wrong with that. But we have no choice to the contrary, Mr. Carruthers. We shall marry and we simply must make the best of it,” she said.
Although she tried to hold to this perspective, Ellie was devastated. She did not wish for Wendell to see the extent of her sadness, but she was certain that she could not hid it forever.
All she wanted was to spend her life with Mr. Potts. Nothing else would ever be enough.
Chapter 29
“Jonathan!” Simon shouted from a distance.
“Hmm? What is it?” he asked, looking up from the book he was reading out in the garden. Jonathan had spent most of his morning outside. His mother was, mercifully, away, visiting a friend.
“It is the society pages, Jonathan. They caught wind of your interactions with Miss Windsor. It is everywhere,” he warned, coming up close and holding the society pages in his hands.
Standing perfectly still and in complete shock, Jonathan took a deep breath. This couldn’t be happening.
“What do you mean, Simon? What are you talking about?” he asked.
“Your name is all over the society pages. They have learned about your meetings with Miss Windsor and you are being written about. I do not know how they found out or who told them, but I assure you that it was not me,” Simon said.
Jonathan could hardly believe it. The last thing he had expected was for his name to be publicly scandalized like this. He grabbed the paper from Simon and started to read.
Lord Jonathan Cornwall, Third Duke of Danby, is said to have engaged in immoral liaisons with an unnamed young woman. The young woman is, supposedly, one outside of noble Society. It is said that the two have been meeting in secret for weeks, interacting alone within an abandoned house.
Although he is a single gentleman, and most eligible bachelor, he has decided to disgrace the noble name of his family. The respectability of his mother and late father is now within question.
Jonathan was shocked. He could hardly believe that this had made it into the society pages. Of course, he could expect nothing other than the fact that his mother was the one who leaked the news of it.
However, his mother would never make the statement about the family’s respectability coming into question. Jonathan was shocked. He could hardly believe she had simply made a statement and it was now being taken by the pages and elaborated.
If that were the case, his mother was going to be furious. She would be so upset that she had now been disgraced. Although he did not wish to speak with her and to find out whether or not she was involved, he knew that he would have no choice. Eventually, he would have to talk to her.