The Mysterious Lost Child (The Inscrutable Paris Beaufont Book 2)

by Sarah Noffke

  “Oh good, so you brought it here,” the redhead said with pursed lips. “See yourself out, would you? And take your pursuer with you.”

  The other woman shook her head. “It can’t get in here most likely. I have up enough wards on the Crying Cat Bakery to keep out the devil. I put them up to keep out customers, but it doesn’t seem to work on the good-intentioned.”

  Paris tilted her head, confused but also relieved to hear the evil thing following her couldn’t get her inside the shop. “You don’t want customers? I don’t understand.”

  The woman nodded. “They’re bothersome. Just keep coming in and out all day long.” She waved at the pastry case, which was mostly empty at this point. “They buy all our stuff and demand that we make more of this or that because they can’t get enough. They never have the exact change or require us to use the credit card machine. The whole thing is a major inconvenience.”

  Paris glanced around the shop, wondering if she’d entered a strange alternate universe. The bakery seemed somewhat normal with large mixers in the back and bags of ingredients like flour and sugar. Overhead a few fairies flew around, cleaning or sprinkling pixie dust. “I thought the idea of a business was to be successful by having customers.”

  King Rudolf wagged his finger. “My friends here don’t operate the same as other people.”

  “We aren’t friends, Rudolf,” the taller woman barked.

  He held out his hand to Paris. “May I have the distinct privilege of introducing Paris Westbridge to my esteemed colleagues and dearest friends, Lee and her wife, Cat.” The king of the fae indicated the taller woman, then the French one.

  “My name is Paris Beaufont,” she muttered, surprising even herself.

  King Rudolf clapped his hands to his chest, shock written on his face. “You know? Who told you? It wasn’t me, was it? I did black out for a few days recently but thought that I only invented a renewable resource during that time.”

  “You knew?” Paris had a hard time processing everything the dim-witted but also seemingly genius fae was saying. “No, it wasn’t you.”

  He let out a breath. “Oh, that’s right. I can’t tell you.”

  “You’re spelled too?” Paris questioned with surprise.

  “Yeah, to be a complete idiot,” Lee spat. “Will you two get out of here? I need to plan my next assassination.”

  “Did you just say—”

  “No, we won’t,” Rudolf interrupted, his hands on his hips. “Didn’t you hear her? This is Paris Beaufont, and more importantly, she knows she’s Paris Beaufont.”

  Cat shrugged, toddling off for the back room. “I didn’t know who I was for a quarter of a century. I kept introducing myself as Cathryn the Great because the drugs made me forget who I was, and that seemed like the most logical identity. I don’t see what the big deal is. Sounds like she’s simply sobered up.”

  “Why don’t you sober up,” Lee called over her shoulder as the woman disappeared into the back room.

  “You knew who I was?” Paris asked the king. “In the bar, you knew? Is that why you told me about the story of Liv and Stefan, my parents?”

  He glanced away. “I really can’t say.”

  Paris sighed heavily, tired of playing this “Can’t tell you” game. “What can’t you say?”

  “That you’re in a lot of danger if you know the truth,” King Rudolf stated. “That means others do too. Spells will have broken.”

  Paris pointed over her shoulder. “Sort of figured that out with the whole evil wind chasing me here.”

  Lee shook her head. “I can’t stand the wind. It’s always messing up my hair.” She ran her hands through her tousled hair, which only made it look better. Paris wished she had that kind of luck as she combed her hands through her tangled strands.

  “Did you know my parents?” Paris was suddenly bursting with so many questions for the king of the fae.

  He nodded. “Your mother was the best person I’ve ever met. Well, besides myself. I’m the best person I’ve met. Most say the same.”

  “No one ever has ever said that…ever.” Lee wiped down the countertop in front of her.

  “Your father was the worst person I’ve ever met,” Rudolf continued.

  Paris gasped, not having expected that. “He was? Why?”

  “Oh, he was always like ‘Liv, you’re the love of my life’ or ‘Whatever you desire, I’ll give to you,” Rudolf answered. “That kind of manipulation kept my best friend from spending weeks with me drunk on the beaches of Barbados. She was always like, ‘I’d rather spend time with my husband than listen to your drunken drivel.’ Can you believe such a thing? All orchestrated by your father’s manipulation.”

  “Don’t forget all those demons he killed,” Lee added. “I mean, come on, dude. Sometimes we need a little bit of evil prowling the streets, creating nightmares and sucking out people’s souls.”

  Paris blinked at the pair. “Are you two on drugs?”

  “Tons,” they both answered in unison.

  Even though this interaction made Paris question her sanity, it was the first time she got real information about her parents. True, it was coming from a very questionable and probably lunatic source, but it was information, and she instantly craved more. “What else can you tell me? I want to know more about my mom and dad. How did they die?”

  The light expression on the king’s face fell away. “Sadly, that’s about all I can say. I can tell you little things that are allowed to slip through the cracks, like that your mother loved nachos and saved my life more than a few times.” He pressed his hands to his throat as if suddenly in pain. His mouth opened and closed several times, inaudible words escaping. Finally, after struggling for a moment, Rudolf sputtered out a cough. “I’ve said too much. Finding a loophole isn’t without consequences.”

  Paris sighed, hoping that maybe Clark could tell her more. She’d have to start piecing together things. Her mother was good, and her father loved her dearly. She was brave, and he fought demons. That was more than she knew that morning.

  “You two need to get out of here.” Lee checked her watch.

  Paris nodded. “Yes, that’s why I’m here.”

  The woman gave her an annoyed expression. “You don’t understand how it works, Blondie. I said you need to get out of here. Not be here. I have a hit I have to set up.”

  “Are you an assassin?” Paris was more curious than anything else.

  The woman waved at the pastry cases. “I’m a baker.”

  “She’s also a water treatment specialist who saves lives,” Rudolf supplied proudly.

  Lee rolled her eyes. “Great, now I have to counter what you’ve told her, or she’ll get the wrong idea about me.” She glanced at Paris. “Yes, I assassinate people. Lots of them. I might save villages with polluted water supplies, but I also murder. I ain’t no angel.”

  “She only kills really evil people who deserve it,” Rudolf added.

  Lee shot him a murderous expression. “Would you stop it! I had a clean slate with this one to have her see me the way I wanted, and you’re mucking it all up.”

  “By thinking that you’re a good person?” Paris asked.

  Lee shivered with disgust. “I hope you’re not too colored by what you’ve learned.”

  “I think I know why there are so many rumors about this place,” Paris stated. “I’ll get out of your hair. I need to portal to Los Angeles. I heard that portal magic was allowed here, for whatever reason, even though it’s usually restricted to certain areas on Roya Lane.”

  Lee groaned. “The secret is out. Looks like I’ll have to kill everyone on Roya Lane now. I’ll start with you, sweetheart. Stay still while I find my crossbow.”

  Rudolf shook his head. “I can take you to Los Angeles. Are you going to a Dodgers game?”

  Paris narrowed her eyes at him in confusion. “No, I learned that I’m a Beaufont and a halfling with something mysterious stalking me, and no one, including you, can tell me anything. I’m
going to find my relatives.”

  “I can tell you something,” Lee offered.

  “You can!” Paris’ eyes widened with surprise and hope.

  “Yeah, that you’re going to make me late for my hit.” Lee rummaged around in the back, apparently looking for a crossbow. “I hate being late. I feel like it irks the Grim Reaper.”

  Paris slumped with defeat. “So you can’t tell me anything about my parents or past then?”

  Lee straightened suddenly and thought for a moment. “Honestly, if I knew anything, I’ve forgotten it. Your family history isn’t that interesting to me. Yes, we’re all spelled.”

  “By who? That’s what I want to know,” Paris muttered to herself, knowing the two couldn’t tell her.

  King Rudolf strode forward, offering his arm. “I can’t tell you what you’d like to know, but I can take you to see one of your relatives in Los Angeles. Clark is the second-worst after your father and about as dull as a doorknob, but he’ll be interested to know your identity charm broke. Shall we go?”

  Paris didn’t need a chaperone, but she figured if whatever was following her went to Los Angeles, that it would be good to have extra help. She nodded and took the king’s offered arm. “Yes, let’s go.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Where are we?” Paris asked after she and King Rudolf stepped through a portal to a very urban area.

  She was worried that the evil wind had followed them, but there were no gale-force winds wherever they were—only a gentle breeze and the smell of car fumes. The sun was still shining in their mystery location, and the street in front of them was busy with shiny cars speeding by. Passing them on the streets were people dressed in many different fashions: attractive women, hip men, or those who looked like they could simultaneously pass as both.

  “I think we’re still on Earth, but I’ve messed up my portals more than once and ended up on strange planets.” King Rudolf looked around. “Yeah, this is either West Hollywood, or it’s that weird space station that I often confuse with the LA city.”

  “You… Never mind.” Paris shook her head while taking in the strange smells and sights.

  “Yeah, this is West Hollywood,” King Rudolf finally decided. “I can tell because everyone is too cool for school.” He pointed at a guy strolling past them. “You pull up your pants.” Then he stuck his finger in someone else’s face. “You roll down your pants.” And without missing a beat, he spun and wagged his finger at a homeless man covered in newspapers. “Would you put on some pants? There are children present.”

  “No, there’s not,” the bum grumbled.

  King Rudolf indicated Paris. “This one is only twenty. She’s pretty much a toddler by fairy standards.” He glanced at Paris appreciatively. “By magician’s standards, you’re simply gorgeous. Most magicians shouldn’t breed, in my opinion, but it’s hard to get such laws passed, even from my position. I don’t understand why such ugly nerds get to pass along their homely looks when we could be expanding the fae population.”

  “Because then we’d have a bunch of dummies who ate dirt, and the population would surely die out in no time, making the human race join the dodo birds.”

  Rudolf nodded as if this made perfect sense to him. “We prefer to eat clay because of the texture, but yeah, we wouldn’t last very long. But what a gorgeous population it would be for a hot minute.”

  “Your triplets,” Paris began, following King Rudolf as he led the way down the busy sidewalk.

  “Quadruplets,” he corrected. “I only have three children.”

  Paris opened her mouth to correct him but then thought better of it and simply nodded. “Right… Your girls are halflings. Can you share a bit about their struggles, as you did before? Are there a lot of people after them because they’re unique and special?”

  “After them, yes,” King Rudolf answered. “That’s mostly because they inherited their mother’s offensive ways. I can’t take them anywhere without them telling someone that their blouse doesn’t match their pants or they’re wearing something that looks like hand-me-downs.”

  “That’s rude,” Paris agreed.

  “It is, but in their defense, the elderly at the old folks' home where they volunteer don’t know style. Most of them can’t even dress themselves.”

  Again Paris’ mouth hung open. She was speechless about how to respond. Paris was starting to think the joke was on her and someone was recording her to see how far she’d take these ridiculous statements from the king of the fae.

  “There are quite a few men who are after my girls because they’re beautiful,” Rudolf continued. “Then there’s the IRS, CIA, and FBI who say they’ve broken one or two laws. I mean really, I think those organizations need to quit hiding behind their letters and tell us what they do. How do I know what the IRS is after if they don’t specifically tell me who they are?”

  “That’s the Internal Revenue Service,” Paris muttered dryly.

  “See!” King Rudolf exclaimed. “Was that so hard? But when I kept asking them who they were and what they wanted, they went on and on about tax evasion. I mean, taxes aren’t something the rich even pay, am I right?”

  “I think you’re supposed to.”

  “As far as I’m concerned with the FBI and CIA, if they don’t have any evidence besides those videos and firsthand accounts of treason and espionage, then I say my girls are innocent,” King Rudolf stated triumphantly. “But no, besides that, no one is after my girls. However, they aren’t like you.”

  “They are halflings.”

  “That they are,” he said fondly. “You’re something unique. There are three of them and only one of you. While a mortal and fae is special, that’s only one magical race mixed with a bland normal one. You’re comprised of two magical races.”

  That was surprisingly helpful and new information for Paris. “I guess that makes sense. Before, you said that your girls were bitter at you because they had trouble integrating into the world since they couldn’t relate to either of their races and therefore weren’t accepted. Do you think I’ll have the same problem now that word is spreading? Will magicians and fairies shun me?”

  “Only if they want a knuckle sandwich from Uncle Rudolf.” He held up his fist and waved it in the air.

  Paris couldn’t help but giggle at this. She didn’t even know this man, and he was calling himself her uncle. That was more than strange since she recently found out the only person she’d known as an uncle wasn’t related to her, and Rudolf was definitely not her blood. Well, and not to mention they were on their way to meet her actual uncle.

  “No, I don’t think they’ll shun you,” Rudolf continued. “You’ll be revered or regarded with awe for your beauty and abilities and uniqueness. I can’t imagine you being outed. My girls’ problems are because mortals still don’t trust the magical races and there are pockets of the magical community that still think they’re better than mortals. So the Captains fall into this weird in-between and can’t win no matter what. Things will evolve, as they always do, and they’ll make their mark. They just have to weather the storm.”

  “You know, sometimes you say the most intelligent things,” Paris observed.

  “It’s because I eat organic clay for breakfast.”

  “Followed by the most idiotic things,” Paris added.

  He gave her a fond look. “You remind me of your mother so much. That sounds exactly like something she would have said to me.”

  “How did you meet my mom?” Paris was addicted to learning about her past, now that she wasn’t spelled not to care.

  Rudolf let out a strange noise and grabbed his throat, shaking his head. “Sorry, I think that falls under things I’m not allowed to say. Probably some part of it would be too much and lead to information I’m not at liberty to expand upon.”

  Paris grunted in frustration. It was becoming increasingly annoying that all these people connected to her and her parents weren’t allowed to say anything. She simply wanted to know
about the people she came from, especially when she met those who knew them, yet she kept hitting a wall. “Why would your meeting my mom lead to information I’m not supposed to know?”

  “Probably because—” Rudolf coughed violently, holding his chest. It took him a moment to collect himself. Finally, he shook his head. “Yeah, that one isn’t on the table either.”

  “What a tricky spell and a lot of them that were simply to keep me hidden from the truth,” Paris remarked.

  “That’s nothing.” Rudolf pointed down a side street. “We’re this way. My wife has gone so far as to chloroform me for a solid week to keep me from learning about things she bought. We do extreme things for the ones we love.”

  Paris halted and narrowed her eyes.

  Rudolf, sensing she wasn’t beside him anymore, paused and turned back to look at her. “Did you find a roly-poly to play with? Bring him along. Maybe we can find one for me too.”

  Paris shook her head. “You said, ‘we do extreme things for the ones we love.’ Which leads me to believe someone who cared about me or my parents or both did all this, spelling everyone so they couldn’t talk.”

  Rudolf grinned at her, a proud look in his beautiful blue eyes. “You’re bright, even for being a fairy.”

  “Thank you.” She drew out the word and tried to decide whether to be offended or not.

  “I still can’t give you any information,” Rudolf continued. “My throat is going to be scratchy for a week based on how much I’ve said.”

  “Well, I appreciate your help and escorting me to see Clark.”

  King Rudolf paused. “You really should be grateful because I don’t stomach the Councilor for the House of Fourteen very well. He always thinks I’m flirting with him when I tell him to take off his clothes, or he’s offended when I throw his flan in the air, and it lands on the floor.”

  “Why would you do either of those things?”

  “Because pinstriped suits belong in the trash. And I was under the impression that good flan should bounce.”

  “Well, thanks for stomaching my uncle to take me to meet him,” she stated. “I’ll admit that I’m a bit nervous. This is all so sudden and surreal. I learned yesterday that I was a halfling and a Beaufont.”