Mine on Christmas

by Sarah J. Brooks

  I just looked at him as my thoughts wondered and I tried to capture the feelings that were going on for me. This was new to me. The comfort and acceptance going on between Thomas and me wasn’t something that I was used to feeling.

  “Okay,” I managed to say.

  “Please don’t be angry with me. I know I was an ass. I understand that it was terrible of me to talk to you in that way.”

  “Okay,” I said again with a little bit of a smile. “I’m sorry I ran off and made you chase all the way after me.”

  “No, don’t be sorry. You should have left. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry I ruined the mood. I had an amazing time with you last night and this morning and so much fun. Can we figure out a way to forget about what just happened?”

  “Maybe,” I said still unsure of these emotions that were going on between the two of us.

  “How about I make us some breakfast and we talk for a little bit. I’ve got the day free. How does your day look?”

  “I can make some time,” I said trying to run through the projects I had to do and thinking if I could push them off to the next day.

  A man had driven an hour to apologize to me and was now in my kitchen making me breakfast. This was the sort of guy I’d hoped to fall for some day. Things were so crazy though and I had a lot of trepidation about falling for Thomas.

  He still had so many emotions about his late wife. I wasn’t sure I was mature enough to deal with someone who was in the place that he was. But this was just breakfast and I tried to focus on the moment and not think too far ahead.

  I had to stop over analyzing everything and making it into something more than it was.

  Thomas rummaged around in my refrigerator and managed to get a few items that he could cook with. I joined him in the kitchen and we quietly made breakfast together. Neither of us talked and instead I just enjoyed having him there in my apartment.

  “I think you’re wrong,” he said as he cooked some eggs on the stove for us.

  “What?” I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Your apartment is much bigger than my shower,” he laughed and just like that the two of us were at ease again and smiling.

  “But I don’t have a sex chair in here,” I shrugged and we both looked around the tiny apartment.

  Thomas eyed my office chair and went over and sat down in it. He leaned back and moved his legs in and the spread them out as he tried to find a good position. I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched him.

  “No, it is not a sex chair,” I said firmly through my smile. “I can’t afford to break that chair. It’s my favorite chair.”

  “We will give it a whirl another time. I think it’s sturdy enough to last,” he smiled and came back over to the stove to stir the eggs again.

  “You’re trouble, you know that?” I said as I looked up at him and couldn’t stop smiling. “My cheeks hurt from being with you. I haven’t smiled this much in a really long time. I also haven’t cried this much, so there’s that as well.”

  “I made you cry?” he said turning toward me and gently grabbing my face. “I’m so sorry, Niki. I would never intentionally make you cry.”

  He lowered his body to mine and wrapped his arms around me as he hugged me tightly and lifted me up and off the ground. I believed him. At that moment I knew he was telling the truth and he wouldn’t intentionally make me cry. Oh, how I loved being swept up in his arms like that.

  Thomas was a complicated man. He was handsome and successful and everything I never knew I wanted in a guy. Somehow I was already over the disaster that had happened at his house and I had forgiven him fully. I hugged him back and let my head rest on his shoulders as a feeling of peace washed over me. I couldn’t wait to get to know him more and see if this thing between us was any more than a quick fling.

  Chapter 11

  Thomas

  I felt at home with Niki in my arms. There was only one woman in my past who had ever made me feel that comfortable. I felt terrible for yelling at her and saw how upset I’d made her. It wasn’t something that I meant to do. Sometimes the emotions of the past snuck up on me.

  It was hard to explain but being so comfortable with Niki was part of the reason I’d yelled at her like that. I would only ever feel safe enough to snap at someone I was comfortable with. Oddly enough I shouldn’t snap at anyone who was being kind to me but often that was what happened. I was messed up and I knew it.

  “How are your eggs?” I asked as we sat on her couch eating our breakfast.

  “They aren’t terrible,” she laughed.

  “I like your apartment. Was that your roommate that was here earlier? How many bedrooms is this place?”

  “It’s actually just one bedroom. The couch pulls out into a bed and I sleep out here and work out here.”

  “What? No? You don’t even have your own bedroom?” I asked a little shocked. I knew the real estate was expensive in the city but I didn’t know it was this hard to get into something that was decent sized.

  “I usually sleep in her bed on the nights she is gone. She doesn’t stay home very often. Actually, it’s more like I have the place to myself most days. But she pays half the rent and is a great friend to me, so it works well.”

  I still felt terrible for the way I’d acted earlier that morning. Seeing the picture broken on the ground took over my emotions. I couldn’t believe I’d been so rude to Niki and as she ran out of the house I felt utterly horrendous. This girl was being sweet and kind to me. We had such an amazing night together and then I acted like that. It wasn’t one of my better moments.

  Somehow I had to explain to her why I acted like I did but I wasn’t even sure I fully understood it. Rose had been gone for years now, you would think I could handle my emotions a little bit better than I was, but I couldn’t. I still struggled with them often.

  “It’s a nice place,” I said again looking around her tiny apartment. “Honestly I’d love to just stay in the city. My house was built many years ago when my life was much different than it is now. My wife wanted to entertain and wanted extra rooms so people could stay over and not have to drive back into the city.”

  “I understand. That seems like a good plan.”

  “I’m sorry I brought her up. Sometimes I just say things,” I tried to apologize.

  “You don’t have to apologize for talking about your past. It’s okay, I can handle you talking about Rose,” Niki said and reached out to grab my hand.

  “This party will be the first time I’m throwing one. My sister tried to talk me out of it. Mainly because I messed it up really badly the last time I said I would do it,” I opened up to her.

  If I was going to work through my issues I had to start talking about them and Niki seemed receptive to hearing more about my life and my family. It wasn’t much more than an hour ago that I thought she would never talk to me again, so sitting on the couch and seeing that she was listening to me really did make me feel comfortable.

  “What happened with the last party you threw?”

  “Actually, I said I was going to throw the party but then all the emotions of it overwhelmed me. I ended up doing nothing. Everyone expected me to plan it and I didn’t communicate at all and in the end, I ruined Christmas for everyone.”

  “First of all, I doubt you ruined Christmas. It’s a holiday about family and just being with your family makes it a good day. I throw a lot of parties but I’ll tell you my favorite times are just when I have people around me that love and care about me.”

  “Niki, I’m starting to think you’re a wise old soul.”

  She smiled at me and pulled her legs up onto the couch to get more comfortable. I liked being there with her. She seemed much more in her element and it was cozy to curl up on a small couch next to her.

  None of my furniture was small at my house. When you had so much space to fill there was no need for small furniture and I was constantly buying larger and larger pieces just to fill the space. But this was much bet
ter. I liked being right there with her.

  “I just know the importance of love and I respect that in everyone’s lives. I think one of the reasons people book me instead of big party planners is because of that personal and emotional connection that I try to form for their parties.”

  “I think you might be right,” I said and smiled back at her.

  “They might also book you because you’re beautiful. I’m not saying it’s right. But if I saw a picture of you or a picture of one of those other planners, I’d definitely choose you,” I said trying to keep the mood light.

  “So tell me more about your family. They didn’t want you to throw the party this year because you messed it up before? But now they are okay with it?”

  I dreaded this part. How did I describe my family? I loved them so much but sometimes they were not understanding of what I was going through. In their eyes, it had been so many years since Rose died and I often felt like I was being judged for continuing to grieve for the life I lost with my wife.

  I wasn’t sure how to describe all of this to Niki. She was a new person in my life and didn’t fit into any of the predetermined slots that I had in my head. She wasn’t just a co-worker. She wasn’t just an employee. Niki wasn’t just a friend and she wasn’t just a stranger. We had made love. I had tasted her sweet nectar and felt my body thrusting inside of her. Yet she was also planning the biggest party I’d ever thrown; oh what a complicated mess I’d gotten myself into.

  “My family is like most families as you get older. We are all wrapped up in our own lives but during the holidays we try to pull it together. My sister Ashley is the youngest and my brother Robert is a little younger than me.”

  “So you’re the oldest,” she shook her head as if I’d just told her some sort of secret. “Now it’s all starting to make sense.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You seem like the oldest. You know, the sort of sibling that is always bossing people around. Always thinks he’s right. Never wants to listen to others. Tell me if I’m getting warm with any of this.”

  “You don’t know me,” I laughed and then nodded my head in agreement of everything she was saying.

  It was a playful conversation and I felt much more comfortable talking to her than I’d expected to be. Talking wasn’t normally my thing at all. I didn’t talk to people about my life and I certainly didn’t open up about my family problems with someone I’d only met a week before.

  Yet, things were different with Niki and me. She had met my children and my assistant. Niki had become friends with my late wife’s best friend. This whole situation was anything but normal for me.

  “So you wanted to prove that you could throw the party this year? That is why you hired me?

  “My sister insisted on taking over and I didn’t want to let it happen. The kids are going to be grown soon. They are going to go off to college and then eventually have their own families. It was time for me to step up. It’s been hard though. I feel the emotions bubbling to the surface and I feel terrible about yelling at you.”

  “I think I’ll get over it,” Niki smiled sweetly back at me. “So have your family come around now that I’m working with you?”

  “Not really. They think I’m still going to mess it up. It’s weird that in every other aspect of my life I don’t care what people think but with my family I do. It really bothered me when my sister asked to do the party this year and assumed I would mess it up.”

  “She made you feel incompetent. I doubt you get that feeling very often.”

  Niki hit the nail right on the head. I didn’t even like hearing the word incompetent. It made me cringe to think of it. But that was such an accurate word to describe how Ashley had made me feel when she bombarded me at the office and tried to take the party away from me.

  That wasn’t a feeling I had very often. Actually, the only time I had such a feeling was in my parenting. No other aspects of my life did I let feelings like that even come into play.

  In business, I was in charge all the time. Even when I really wasn’t in charge I still managed to play the part well enough to close a deal. There was a distance in business relationships, a separation between emotions and real life that made me feel comfortable. In personal relationships, it was so much harder.

  If the conversation had gone a different way I might have been more willing to let Ashley take over some of the responsibilities. But her assumption that I just couldn’t do the party or that I would screw it up had rubbed me the wrong way and now here I was pouring my heart out to my party planner. The amazingly beautiful party planner that I couldn’t stop thinking about naked.

  “Well, enough about me and my problems. Is there party stuff that we need to talk about? We kind of got distracted last night,” I said with a sweet touch of her hand.

  “Let’s keep talking about your family,” Niki said not falling for my distraction. “So are they going to come to the party?”

  “I think so. I’m not sure. They didn’t like the idea that I’d hired you and I haven’t talked to them since. It’s a tough relationship between all of us. I have been distant.”

  “Because of Rose?”

  “Yes, and the way I dealt with it. Everyone was always trying to help out and as you’ve learned, sometimes I’m not the nicest to people. I’ve pushed them away. I know they love me and I hope they will come to the party but I really have no idea at this moment.”

  “Do you want me to call and ask them?” she offered. “I could just check in with them and see what their plans are. I could say it was because I’m verifying final numbers for the event.”

  “You are the sweetest person ever. Just hours ago I’m yelling at you and making you cry and now here you are comforting me and trying to help me with my family problems. Thank you so much,” I said and held onto her hand. “I appreciate having you to help me but I think I should take some initiative and talk to them.”

  “I think that is a good plan,” she agreed.

  Connecting deeply with a woman made me uncomfortable and yet there I was sitting across from Niki and feeling totally connected to her. There was no way to explain it to my own brain. I hardly knew her and yet every time we were together the bond was building stronger and stronger.

  “Can we try the sex chair?” I joked to break the serious nature of our conversation. “There’s only so much deep talk I can handle.”

  “How about we try my sex couch out,” she playfully said and put our plates over on the table before coming back and straddling me. “I like having you at my place. You’re different here. Sweeter. Nicer than you are at your house.”

  “It’s probably because I feel like a man in captivity with all these walls closing in around me,” I teased.

  Having Niki on my lap was my new favorite thing. She was straddling me as my hands held onto her ass and I felt her hips rolling back and forth. Oh, I could have stayed right there in that position all day long. Her breasts pressed up against my face as she held on to my neck and teased me a little.

  It was so much fun to be around Niki. Her personality was bubbly and fun and I was really happy that she had forgiven me so quickly from the yelling that had occurred earlier. Now I had her in my arms and I was going to make love to her. Slow, sweet, long love that would last all day long.

  Softly I tugged on her hair and pulled her head back so I could have access to her neck. I let my lips press against her slowly and heard the slightest of moans. Her moans were like a drug to me. The second I heard that one I just wanted to hear more and more.

  My lips explored her neck and then I pressed her t-shirt up and over her head so I could have access to her breasts. She reached back and took her bra off and let her beautiful nipples press up against me. I was delighted at the chance to play with them. I reveled in the opportunity to get my lips around her and pulled one of her nipples tightly into my mouth. Another delicious moan was released.

  “I like that,” Niki said, giving me the fuel I needed
to spend some extra time playing with her nipples.

  Women didn’t understand just how strong their words could be to a man. One simple statement like that and I was hooked. I knew she liked it and I was ready to deliver the pleasure she needed. I wasn’t about to venture off to any other area of her body just yet, not when I knew she was enjoying something that I was already doing.

  Slowly I pulled her into my mouth again. This time even harder so I could get that burst of energy when she moaned again. Niki grabbed my head and held me there as she released the sweetest moan of pleasure. Then I moved to the other nipple and repeated my pull. I reveled in the sounds she was making and soon found myself unable to think of anything else but having her naked right there on that couch.

  “Is your roommate going to come back? I’d hate to have her find us in a compromising position. Well, I wouldn’t hate it but she might not enjoy seeing that side of me,” I laughed.

  “I’ll text her,” Niki leaned back like some sort of gymnast and grabbed her phone off of the coffee table.

  “That was impressive. You should do that later when we are both naked,” I teased.

  “Oh, I can do that. And I can do this thing where I put my ankles up behind my head. But that’s only happening if you’re really good,” she teased and winked at me.

  This was what I imagined a perfect relationship would be like. Sex and fun, no big stressors, no need to be serious all of the time. I was getting addicted to this feeling I had while around Niki. She made me happy in a way that I hadn’t felt in a really long time.

  How was it that I’d spent ten years thinking that I’d never find anyone that made me happy and then this spitfire walked into my life and suddenly I thought it was possible again? I wasn’t unrealistic, I wasn’t thinking about running off with Niki or anything like that. I was fine with it staying at this level, but she had opened my eyes to a glimpse of a future me. A future

  me that was happy and well adjusted wasn’t someone I’d ventured to think of in the past.