Chasing Chance: Gilcrest University Guys Book One

by M. E. Parker

  “I wasn’t wallowing, Cam. I was processing. I mean, we were together for a year. I heard what you said, and I don’t disagree with you. He wasn’t perfect. But I guess I’m a little sad. I liked having a boyfriend.”

  He put his hand on my knee and offered a sad smile. “I get that, Andy, but I need you to hear me. He wasn’t the one for you. You deserve someone that will put you first. I hate that he hurt you like that. He better steer clear of me the next time I see him, and don’t even get me started on Christopher and his fake Prada murse. I swear I’ll cut a bitch.”

  I snorted and choked on my wine at the same time. After I finished my coughing fit, I smiled at him. “There’s no need for violence. I’m fine. I guess I can’t help thinking it was my fault. At least partially.”

  Cam took a sip of his wine. “How the hell is it your fault that Mark cheated on you? That’s ridiculous.”

  I shrugged. I guess I was feeling particularly brave since I was on my third glass of wine. “I wouldn’t let him fuck me.”

  Cam’s eyes widened. “Okay. So?”

  “So, it was something he wanted and I couldn’t give it to him.”

  “What did you want, Andy? Did he give it to you?”

  I shrugged.

  “So, you’re a top. There’s nothing wrong with that. Did you tell him?”

  I felt my cheeks turn red. “No. I mean, I don’t know what I am.”

  Realization dawned on his face. “Okay. So, you haven’t…?” His voice drifted.

  “Yep. I’m a twenty-one-year-old gay virgin.”

  He smiled. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You know there are plenty of guys out there who don’t fuck. It’s not the only way to enjoy sex.”

  “I know. I just… I don’t know. I want to, I think. I just didn’t want to with him.”

  Cam laughed. “Well, that only proves that you have taste.” He looked over at me and grinned. “There will be plenty of other guys, you know? Maybe you need to quit looking for Mr. Right and look for Mr. Right Now.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think I ever could with a hook up. I mean, it’s just too… I don’t know. I’d have to know them and trust them.”

  “You’re right. Not your first time. Oh my god. Hold on. I’ll be right back,” he said before disappearing into his bedroom.

  He came back in the living room and dropped a red gift bag down on the coffee table in front of me. “What’s this?” I asked as I peeked in the bag. “Oh my god, Cam, what is this?”

  “That is a dildo. You see, you stick it up—”

  “Oh my god. I know what you do with it. Why do you have it?”

  Cam shrugged. “Ben gave it to me for Christmas. That pervy little Brit. He talks like the perfect Englishman, but deep down I swear he’s a sex addict.”

  I was astonished. “Ben? Our Ben?”

  “Yeah. Why’re you so surprised?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know, maybe because he gave me a muffin tin for Christmas.”

  Cam laughed. “Well, maybe he just knows us really well. Anyway, I already have one I’m very fond of, so this one is yours now. Never used. Still in the box.”

  I coughed. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’m totally serious. Have a go with that thing and then, when the time comes, a real one won’t seem quite as scary.”

  “I’m so not going to use that thing,” I said, crossing my arms.

  “Yes, you will.” Cam chuckled. “And on that note, I’m turning in. You should too. You have to drive to your mom’s tomorrow and I have a flight to catch. So, we better get to bed.”

  “Wait, I thought you were spending Thanksgiving with your uncles. What do you mean you have a flight to catch?”

  Cam’s cheeks turned red. “Oh, there was a slight change of plan. It’s a long story. I’ll explain later. Night, Maybury,” he said as he hurried towards his bedroom. There was something going on with Cam. But I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t talk about it until he was ready. He looked back at me. “Do not waste one more tear on fuckface.” I saluted him and he smiled. “Oh, and also, use plenty of lube and go slow with that.”

  “Not gonna use it,” I called out after he closed his bedroom door.

  I woke up the next morning with a sore ass and I was slightly hung over from all the wine. But at least I knew I would really enjoy bottoming. However, I was a little mad at myself for thinking about Chance while I used the thing. I thought those days were behind me. But, clearly, I had unresolved feelings about the guy. Sure, I could blame it on my breakup with Mark, but the truth was, until I really got over Chance, I wasn’t going to have a healthy relationship.

  I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, ignoring at least a half-dozen missed calls from Mark, and called my mom.

  She picked up on the first ring. “Hi, sweetie. Are you on your way?”

  “Not yet. I’m moving a little slow this morning.”

  “You okay?” I called her yesterday to tell her that Mark wouldn’t be coming home with me for Thanksgiving. I hadn’t gone into details, but I told her we’d broken up.

  “Yeah. I actually think it’s for the best.”

  “Well, breakups are never easy. But I can’t say I disagree with you.”

  I laughed. “You sound like Cam.”

  “Awe, I love Cammy. You should bring him.”

  “He’s got other plans, Mom. And don’t call him Cammy. He doesn’t like it.”

  She laughed. “I can’t help it, he’s just so adorable. So, are you sure you still want to do brunch tomorrow? I’m headed to the store now.”

  “Positive,” I said. “Did you get the list I texted?”

  “Yep. Got it. The cheese scones sound delicious.”

  “Okay, I’ll text you before I leave.”

  “Okay, drive safe. Is it wrong for me to say that I’m glad it’s just going to be the two of us?”

  I smiled. “No, I’m glad too. See you a little later. Love you.”

  “Love you too, kiddo,” she said before she hung up.

  I somehow managed to scramble out of bed and shower. It wasn’t long before I packed an overnight bag and was on the road headed towards Wytheville. The sky was overcast and spitting snow. It wasn’t cold enough to stick, but as I drove through the Appalachian Mountains, I could see that some of the highest peaks were covered in snow. There were plenty of things I didn’t like about the town I grew up in, but the view of the Smokey Mountains wasn’t one of them. It was breathtaking. I took it for granted until I moved away.

  Even though I didn’t want it to, my mind drifted to Chance. I told myself over and over I needed to stop thinking about him. But, for some reason, I couldn’t. It made me mad. It needed to stop. There was nothing left between us. It was over. He made sure of that. Or maybe I had. I wasn’t sure. But I couldn’t help but remember our last moments together. We had just started our senior year of high school and it was our last camping trip together…

  We were sitting on our rock, as I liked to think of it, listening to the river rush by. I could tell everything was different. Ever since I’d lost Dad, Chance had become this angry person I didn’t recognize. He started seeing more and more of Kara and I saw less and less of him. It was probably for the best. He clearly wasn’t into guys at all, much less me. Every time we did see each other, he never failed to share stories about his sexual encounters with Kara. It was like he needed me to know that he wasn’t into guys. Last I heard, he had gone to third base with her and she had given him a handjob. Apparently, she was waiting until college to “go all the way”. Like I gave a shit about what she was waiting for.

  What sucked the most was not having him as a friend anymore. I also hated sitting there in the same place where we had kissed, knowing that it would never happen again. We had started our senior year of high school and turned eighteen a couple of weeks before that trip and Chance looked like a whole different person. Apparently, he’d spent all summer lifting weights for football because
he was sculpted to perfection. It was warm that day and all he was wearing was a tight gray t-shirt and I could see every outline of every muscle on his body. He stood and I watched him as he tossed rocks into the river. I focused on his massive arms and every time he threw a rock across the river, his tri-cep flexed, and it made me wonder what it would feel like to run my hands over his chest and arms.

  I turned my head back towards the river, trying not to look at him. He coughed. “It’s boring as fuck out here.”

  I shook my head. “What do you want me to do about it?”

  “Nothing,” he said, walking over to his backpack. “I brought refreshments.”

  He pulled out a bottle of wine.

  “Dude, where’d you get that?”

  He shrugged. “My mom keeps cases of this shit in the garage. I snagged a couple of bottles on the way out.”

  “She’ll kick your ass when she finds out.”

  He chuckled. “She’s not going to find out. Both of our moms are halfway to wasted already.”

  I watched as he butchered the cork on the bottle of wine with his pocket knife. He finally pushed it all the way in. He took a big swig, made a face, and handed it to me. I turned the bottle up and took a drink, taking in a chunk of cork. I spit out the cork and grimaced. “This tastes like piss. What is it?”

  Chance laughed. “I don’t know, some chardonnay shit.” He shrugged and took another sip. “It’s better than nothin’. The more you drink, the less it will taste like piss,” he said, handing it back to me.

  We sat there, side by side on the rock, barely talking until we finished off the bottle. He grinned at me and all I wanted to do was lean over and kiss him. I turned my head so I didn’t have to look him in the eye. “What now?”

  “Let’s go back and drink the other one in the tent. Hoffner sent me some porn movie he stole from his brother. I downloaded it on my iPad. We can watch that.” I followed him back to the tent wondering when the hell he’d started watching porn.

  I had changed into a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. We sat in our tent on the air mattress side by side. It was still muggy. Chance had taken off his shirt and I was doing my best not to openly stare at him. All he was wearing was a pair of jeans and I could see the waistband of his black boxer briefs sticking out. His chest and abs were ripped, and I when I looked at him, I realized I would be imagining him just like that every time I jerked off for the rest of my life. He managed to get the cork out of the second bottle of wine and handed it to me while he cued up the movie. Thank God he turned the volume all the way down. Both of us had our legs stretched out and crossed. He sat the iPad between us, propped up by its case.

  The movie popped up on the screen and opened with a blonde laying on a bed completely naked and masturbating. She had the biggest tits I’d ever seen. Chance laughed. “Jesus, look at those tits. They can’t be real.” I grabbed the bottle of wine out of his hands and swallowed a few gulps. I didn’t know why, but I was pissed off. Chance laughed again when the movie zoomed in on the woman. “Damn, she’s completely shaved. That shit’s nasty looking. Wonder how many guys have fucked that?” I wanted to get up and walk out of the tent. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was showing me that just to prove some sort of point. I wanted to scream at him “I get it!”, but I didn’t.

  A couple of minutes later, a guy appeared on the screen. You couldn’t see his face. He walked over and stood next to the bed. He wasn’t wearing anything but a pair of jeans. I couldn’t help but think of Chance. I watched the man strip off his jeans and underwear. I noticed Chance had gone quiet. He was watching as intently as I was as the guy stroked his cock. It was long and thick, and the camera zoomed in showing a small drop of precum on the tip that he swirled around with his thumb. I hadn’t ever seen anything like it before and I was immediately turned on. I rested my arm over my crotch so Chance couldn’t see the tent in my flannel pajama bottoms.

  I looked over at Chance and he was shifting around. I glanced down and noticed he was hard too. I looked back at the screen as the man walked closer to the bed and placed the tip of his dick against the woman’s lips. She opened for him and licked it. I closed my eyes for a second and thought about Chance doing that to me. I knew I needed to stop. I opened my eyes again and decided I needed to focus on the blonde. Then I heard a zipper. I looked over and Chance had unbuttoned his jeans and was unzipping them. He glanced over at me. “I don’t know about you, but I’m horny as fuck. I need to jerk off.”

  “Jesus, dude, here? Now?” I looked at him in disbelief.

  “Don’t tell me you don’t need to. I see the tent you’re sportin’ over there.” I couldn’t tear my eyes away as Chance pulled out his cock. God, it was perfect—long and hard and pink on the end. It looked smooth and I wondered what it would feel like. Probably soft over hard, I imagined. I had never been so turned on in my life as I watched him move his hand over it. I couldn’t take it a minute longer. I reached for the draw string of my flannel pants, pulled it loose, pushed my pants and underwear down, and started stroking my dick. My eyes were on Chance. Chance’s eyes were on the movie until the guy pulled his dick out of the blonde’s mouth and fucked her. Then Chance’s eyes were on me. We watched each other as we jerked off. Chance came first and, as soon as I saw the milky come spurt out of his perfect cock, I came all over my hand and t-shirt.

  We were both breathing heavy as I took off my shirt and cleaned myself off. I handed it to Chance and he took it and cleaned up. He took off his jeans and threw them on the ground next to the t-shirt. He stretched out on the bed in nothing but his underwear. “I’m going to sleep. I’m fucking exhausted.”

  Obviously, we weren’t gonna talk about what happened. I wasn’t sure what it was. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. By the time I drifted off to sleep, I was convinced that part of Chance Wyrick wanted me like I wanted him. I woke up at some point. It was still dark out and Chance had scooted all the way over to my side of the bed. My chest was pressed up against his back and my hand rested on his hip. As soon as I realized that my dick was hard and pressed against Chance’s ass, it twitched. I don’t know if I was still a little buzzed from the wine, but I got brave and moved my hand down towards his cock. He was rock hard. I palmed him and rubbed his cock over his underwear. He moaned and shifted onto his back as if he wanted more. I kept moving my hand against him while I kissed and licked the curve of his neck. I loved the scent of him. I wanted to taste every part of him. He turned his head towards me and I kissed his lips gently as I continued to rub his dick. I moved to the waistband of his boxers. I wanted to feel him bare.

  That’s when it happened. He opened his eyes and shoved me away with both hands against my chest. “What the fuck are you doin’, Andy?” he growled.

  I couldn’t answer him, I was so shocked. Why the fuck did I just do that? What the hell made me think he wanted me like that?

  “Jesus, are you fucking gay or something?”

  I swallowed hard. Then I told the second person I’d ever told in my life that I was gay. “Yeah, Chance, I am.”

  “What the fuck ever. Just stay on your side of the bed.”

  “Fuck you, Chance. If you didn’t notice, you’re on my side.”

  He didn’t say anything. He just scooted over to his side of the air mattress, turned his back to me, and slept. It was bad enough that he rejected me that night, but what was worse was he completely disappeared. He never spoke to me again. Not one word.

  I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I got off the exit in Ashville, to head towards home. My little trip down memory lane made me realize more than ever I needed to be free of him. I made a promise to myself that I would figure out a way to make that happen. The closer I got to home, the more I looked forward to seeing Mom. I’d missed her, and I was looking forward to spending some time with her. As soon as I got home, I would start baking. Baking always relaxed me. Cheese scones and blueberry lemon muffins were on the menu for brunch and I couldn’t wait to get start
ed on them.

  Thanksgiving brunch was a tradition my mom and I started after my dad died. It was just too hard to sit down at our small dining room table and look at his empty chair and remember how excited he was to carve the turkey every year. So, we decided to make brunch.

  My grandparents on my dad’s side lived in Florida. I only saw them a handful of times growing up. And they stopped keeping in touch altogether after my father died. My mom’s parents died before I was born, so it was just the two of us and I’d come to love our new Thanksgiving tradition. We’d eat sweet breakfast treats until we were stuffed and sit around for the rest of the day drinking mimosas and watching bad reality TV.

  But this year was going to be different. Mom was working the three to eleven shift in Wilsonville, so she’d be leaving for the hospital after brunch. I was worried that money was becoming a problem for her. She’d never tell me if it was. I knew it had to be hard giving me money for college. I was on scholarship, but it didn’t cover everything. It made me think twice about my decision to apply for med school. I wasn’t even sure it was what I really wanted, and it was going to be expensive.

  I sighed as I pulled into the driveway of my childhood home and told myself that I was going to stop worrying about Mark or Chance or med school for a couple of days and just enjoy some time with Mom.

  chapter seven

  Chance

  The closer I got to Wytheville, the more I wanted to turn around and go back to Gilcrest. It felt different going home that day, for some reason. The burden of my secret weighed more heavily since I’d finally admitted it to myself. I was sure that my father would be able to tell. He’d take one look at me and he’d know. I laughed at my ridiculous thoughts when I turned onto our street. I pulled over and turned off my headlights. It was much later than I’d planned to arrive, but I couldn’t make myself get on the road any sooner.

  I looked down the block. I could see my house in the distance, and Andy’s. There was a street lamp between the two houses that partially illuminated our driveways. Andy’s Honda was in the driveway. I swallowed and tried to catch my breath. I wondered for a second if I could work up the nerve to see him. What would I even say to him? How could I even try to apologize for everything I’d done?