by M. E. Parker
“Mine likes it for sure,” he said as he moved his hand from his cock to mine. I reached down and jerked him off as he did the same to me. “Come on me,” he rasped as I knelt over him.
“You’re so fucking hot, Andy,” I said, feeling my balls tighten. “You have no idea how much you turn me on. Oh fuck…” I whispered as he jerked me off until I spurted all over his stomach. I loved seeing my come on him. It wasn’t long before he came too. I ran my finger over his tight abs, mingling our release together. I wanted to taste him. I lifted my finger and put it in my mouth, relishing the saltiness. I never really thought that would turn me on, but it did.
“Fuck, Chance, that was hot,” Andy whispered.
I grinned down at him and then bent over to kiss him. “I’m working up to swallowing,” I joked as I licked his lower lip. I finally let the weight of my body fall on top of him. “Being with you feels right,” I whispered in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. I wondered if Andy would ever understand what he meant to me.
chapter twenty-two
Andy
As I laid there with Chance on top of me, all I could think about was how utterly and completely fucked I was. Chance had the power to break me. I knew it. But I couldn’t make myself stop wanting him. I drew lazy circles on his muscular back as I relished the feeling of his breath against my neck and the weight of his body on mine.
“Hey,” I said softly, “I should get up and take my contacts out.” The sex was one thing, but that level of intimacy scared me.
“Just a little while longer,” he whispered against my neck.
I ran my fingers through his thick, dark hair. “We’re going to stick together if we lay here like this much longer.”
Chance chuckled. “Fine by me.”
“Very funny,” I teased before I slapped him on the ass.
We took turns in the shower rinsing off. I took out my contacts, and we stood side by side in the bathroom wearing nothing but towels and brushed our teeth. It felt oddly domestic. I wondered whether Chance was going to spend the night again, but it seemed to be a foregone conclusion by the time we settled back into bed together. He turned on his side and propped his head up under his fist and smiled at me. “What?” I couldn’t help myself from asking.
He shook his head and an even bigger smile spread across his face. “I’m just happy to be here with you.” A look of sadness passed over his eyes and he looked down. “I feel like I’ve wasted so much time being apart from you all these years.”
“Hey,” I said, forcing him to look at me. “You’re here now, right?”
He nodded and offered a small smile. “I feel lucky. I’m not taking your forgiveness for granted.”
I shook my head. “You’re different, Chance.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know. I guess you’re more like you were when we were kids. You seem happier, I guess—less angry than you were in high school.”
Chance shrugged. “A lot happened back then that I haven’t told you about.”
I could tell he was reluctant to talk about it and, honestly, I didn’t want our night together to go to dark places. He’d already bared enough of his soul the night before. “Well, save it for another day. You deserve to have a great night after the game you played today.”
He grinned. “I am having a great night. I have a confession to make.”
I snorted. “Another one? I’m not sure I can take it.”
He playfully ruffled my hair. “I thought about you all day. When I walked off the field, all I could think about was seeing you again.”
My cheeks heated and my stomach fluttered as I looked into his eyes that were filled with happiness. “I guess I should make a confession then too.”
“Oh yeah?”
I grinned at him. “Yeah. I got turned on watching you play today. I can one hundred percent tell you that I’ve never gotten hot watching football before, but today…” I was sure I’d turned a thousand shades of red as my voice trailed off.
Chance’s laughter filled the room. “I’ll have to remember that for the future.” All I could think about was that I hoped we’d have a future.
We spent the next couple of hours talking. About everything. About nothing. Chance told me all about his friend Travis and some of the guys on the team. I told him about Cameron, Jordy, and Ben. In some ways, it was like we were getting to know each other for the first time, but in others, it was like we were just picking up where we left off. All I knew was that the more time we spent together, the harder I was falling, and I was afraid that losing him again would be much worse than the last time.
I watched as Chance finally drifted off to sleep. I knew he must have been exhausted after barely getting any sleep the night before and playing that day. When he rolled over on his side, I snuggled up against his back and wrapped my arm around him. It felt incredible, like our bodies were meant to fit together.
Eventually, I allowed myself to fall asleep only to wake up a few hours later with a painfully hard dick that happened to be nestled up against Chance’s spectacularly firm ass. I tried to ignore it and fall back to sleep, shifting slightly to try to ease the throbbing between my legs.
“You awake?” Chance whispered.
“Yeah,” I rasped.
“Are you as horny as I am? It feels like it.” He chuckled as he shifted his ass closer to me.
“Oh fuck,” I whispered, clutching his hip and pressing my dick tighter against his ass. I couldn’t take it much longer. I needed relief. He shifted to turn over and I whispered, “No. Stay like this.” I reached back and fumbled in my nightstand for some lube.
As soon as I found it, I flipped open the cap and squeezed some in my palm. “Umm… Andy, what are you doing?”
I chuckled, knowing I probably just scared him to death. “Not what you’re thinking. Just trust me, okay? You’re going to like this.” I stroked some lube on my cock and rolled back over and guided my cock between Chance’s thighs. “Open your legs a little.”
Chance complied, and I slid between his thighs, grazing his taint and the underside of his balls with each thrust. “Oh fuck, Andy, that feels so good,” he rasped. As soon as he reached for his own cock, I moved his hand away and replaced it with my lube-covered palm. “Oh god, Andy. Jesus.” He reached back and grabbed my ass cheek, pulling me closer. “I love this,” he whispered breathlessly. I loved it too. I’d never felt like that before. Everything felt incredible with him. It wasn’t long before Chance moaned and I felt his release spill over my fist. I stroked him through his orgasm until I came.
I laid there glued to his back. Holding on for dear life as we both caught our breath. Silently, he left the bed and came back with a wash cloth and cleaned me without saying a word before he fell back into bed. He stretched out his arm and pulled me closer so that my head rested on his chest. He kissed the top of my head. “God, Andy, I don’t think I could ever get enough of you.”
chapter twenty-three
Chance
I woke the next morning before the sun came up. I hated to leave, but I was worried that Andy’s roommate would find me there. I slid out of bed and dressed quietly before sitting back down on the edge of the bed next to him. There was barely any light in the room, but I could still make out his features. I watched his chest rise and fall as he slept. I finally felt like me. Being with Andy made me feel free.
A whole storm of emotions passed over me while I watched him sleep that morning. I knew in my heart that being with him was right. But my head was telling me a different story. My father’s voice was still loud and clear. Your feelings for him aren’t real. They’re just temptations you can overcome if you pray hard enough. It’s unnatural. It’s not what God intended. I rubbed my hands over my face, hating myself for letting my father inside my head. Andy and I were not wrong.
I reached down and brushed his hair off his forehead. “Hey,” I whispered.
“Hey,” he murmured without
opening his eyes.
“I’m heading out.”
He pulled himself up on his elbows. “What time is it?”
“It’s early,” I said.
“You don’t have to go.”
“I promised Travis I’d meet him for breakfast.” It was true. But I wouldn’t be meeting Travis for hours and I felt like shit for being such a coward. I wanted to crawl back in bed with Andy, but I was a coward. If I was honest with myself, I didn’t want anyone to see me leaving Andy’s building. I didn’t want anyone to know yet. I wanted more time with Andy without anyone judging me.
“Okay, I’ll walk you out.” Andy moved to sit up.
“No. Stay in bed. I’ll let myself out,” I said, pushing him back on the bed.
“You sure?” Andy asked.
“Yeah.”
He fell back on the bed. I leaned down and kissed him gently on the cheek. “Can I see you again tonight?”
A small smile spread across his face. “Yeah.”
“I’ll text you later. Go back to sleep,” I whispered before I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead one more time before I left.
As I walked across campus towards my dorm, all I could think about was Andy. I missed him the minute I walked out the door of his apartment. The sex was incredible, I’d never felt like that before. But more than that, Andy made me happy. I knew it was wrong to want to keep my feelings for him a secret. I knew it was wrong to want to hide whatever was happening between us. But the thought of coming out still terrified me.
When I finally reached my dorm room, I fell back on my bed and an involuntary smile spread across my face. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Things weren’t perfect. I was still hiding. The thought of facing my father, my coach, or my teammates with the truth was scary as hell. But knowing I was free to be myself with Andy was enough for the time being. Having him back in my life was more than I could have ever hoped for and the physical attraction developing between us was beyond anything I ever imagined.
I closed my eyes and pictured Andy naked in his bed. My cock twitched as I thought about how his lithe, muscular body felt against mine. I’d loved Andy for as long as I could remember. Maybe I hadn’t fully understood my feelings for him, but the truth was I’d never felt that way about anyone else. Whatever was happening between us had me feeling happier than I’d ever felt in my life, and that scared the shit out of me.
chapter twenty-four
Andy
Nearly three weeks had passed since Chance pulled me out of a freezing river. That night seemed like a lifetime ago. Chance had spent every night in my bed since then. He’d show up at my apartment sometime around midnight and he’d leave before the sun rose the next morning. It took several days before I realized he was trying to avoid being seen coming and going from my apartment. It hurt when the realization hit. I hadn’t said anything about it. I knew he wasn’t ready to come out. I knew it as soon as he told me that he was gay, and it hadn’t stopped me from hooking up with him that night. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did.
I’d convinced myself that our stolen moments together were enough. The truth was, every minute I spent with him felt so damn right that I didn’t care about the rest. In just three weeks, I’d felt closer to Chance than I ever had with Mark. The sex was absolutely amazing. It was as if we couldn’t get enough of each other. But it was more than just sex. It was the connection we shared. In so many ways, it felt as if we hadn’t lost the last three years together. We went right back to finishing each other’s sentences, sharing secrets, and laughing like we’d never been apart. So, I’d decided if he wasn’t ready to come out, I wasn’t going to push him. It wouldn’t even be fair to ask. I’d told him that he should come out at his own pace. I couldn’t very well turn around three weeks later and give him an ultimatum. No, I didn’t need to advertise our relationship to the entire world to know that what we had was real.
That’s what I thought anyway. Until I saw my Instagram feed a few hours later. It felt like every student from Gilcrest was out blowing off steam that night. Downtown was packed. It was our last night before the winter break started. Chance was out with Travis at End Zone, the sports bar that was just a few doors down from Wild Orchid, where I was celebrating the last day of finals with the guys. It felt odd that I knew Chance was a few doors down and we weren’t together. In just a few weeks, it had become my new normal. Sure, we exchanged texts during the days. But other than that, our lives were completely separate until he showed up at my apartment late at night. If I thought about it, things weren’t all that different from when we were kids in school. We barely acknowledged each other during school, but we spent time together almost every day after school. The only thing that had really changed was that we were spending most of our time together naked.
A thought like that about Chance would normally make me smile, maybe even laugh, until a few hours ago. But things changed as soon as I saw the picture. It was Marissa Mirinelli. A beautiful blonde from my Chemistry class. With Chance. His arm around her. His lips on her cheek. I felt sick as soon as I looked at it.
All of the sudden, I was transported back in time. I was fourteen and I was listening to Chance tell me about making out with Kara Watkins. It could have meant nothing. But the only thing I could think was that it should have been me. Chance and I should have been celebrating the end of finals together. But that would never happen. He would never be seen with me. I was a secret. Marissa fit Chance’s image. I didn’t. I wasn’t just heartbroken, I was pissed.
Cam was looking over my shoulder when I zoomed in on the picture. I quickly slid my phone in my pocket when I realized he was behind me. He shook his head and turned around. He had barely spoken to me for the last couple of weeks. He knew. Maybe not everything, but he knew. I wanted so badly to talk to him about Chance and me, but I couldn’t do it without betraying Chance. The whole situation was frustrating. A few minutes after I saw the picture, I got a text from Chance. How soon can you get away? I want to see you. I looked at my watch. It was almost nine o’clock. Ignoring Chance, I slid my phone back in my pocket.
I knew I’d raise suspicions if I left the bar early. I had no interest in meeting Chance. I was pissed. Honestly, I didn’t feel like celebrating. I just wanted to get home and burrow under my covers and forget about everything. But I stuck it out for a few hours. I didn’t want to answer Cam’s questions. It didn’t matter anyway. I’d be going home to Wytheville the next day and, even though Chance would be there too, right next door, I knew we wouldn’t be seeing each other. He wouldn’t risk his father finding out. I felt sick to my stomach when I thought about it. I was mad at myself. I’d been living in fantasy land for the last few weeks. Whatever Chance and I had—it wasn’t real.
Luckily, Cam stepped outside to take a phone call, which was weird considering it was nearly midnight. I took the opportunity to make excuses to leave. Ben attempted to bribe me to stay by offering to buy me a shooter, and Jordy offered to walk me home. I politely refused both offers and left before Cam came back inside.
A tear rolled down my cheek as I unlocked the door to my apartment. That just pissed me off even more. I wasn’t going back down that road. Chance wasn’t going to break me. Again. I turned off my phone before I could be tempted to check my messages. I stripped down, put on a pair of sleep pants, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. Sliding under the covers, I willed myself to fall asleep. It didn’t happen. Fifteen minutes later, someone was pounding on my door. I knew it was most likely Chance. I ignored it.
After a couple of minutes, I realized he wasn’t going to go away. Throwing off the covers, I jumped out of bed and stomped to the door. As soon as I opened it, I saw Chance’s furrowed brow relax and a slow, small smile spread across his face. I wasn’t going to fall for his stupid charm. “You should really text before you come over. Cam could be home,” I said, hoping my irritability was evident in my voice.
“I did text. Like seventeen times. Why didn’t yo
u answer?”
I shrugged. “I’m exhausted. I had two finals today. I turned off my phone.”
He pushed past me and attempted to kiss me on the cheek on the way through the door. I moved away.
“You’re mad.”
“I’m not mad. I told you, I’m exhausted,” I said, turning my back on him to walk to my bedroom.
He followed me into the bedroom and I tried to ignore him while I climbed back into bed. I heard him lock the bedroom door. I heard his shoes fall onto the floor and his zipper unzip. I kept my back to him as he undressed. I was acting childish. I knew it. It wasn’t like me. But I was mad. It occurred to me as I felt the bed dip when he climbed in behind me that I’d never acted like that before. Not even with Mark.
“You are mad, Andy,” he whispered against the back of my neck as he wrapped his arm around me.
“Am not,” I said.
“Yes, you are. The apples of your cheeks are rosy and you clench your jaw every time you finish a sentence.” Ugh. Him acting like he knew every little thing about me wasn’t helping. “Tell me why you’re mad,” he whispered. I ignored him and pretended to sleep. “I’m not leaving until I find out why, Andy,” he added.
I shrugged. “I’m going to sleep.” I hated how good his strong arms felt wrapped around me.
“Okay. Sleep, Andy,” he whispered.
I laid awake for a long time. But feeling the rise and fall of his chest against my back eventually lulled me to sleep. Somewhere around 5:30 a.m., I woke up to Chance’s lips against my neck. I almost moaned out loud. My dick was painfully hard. Despite my body’s betrayal, I hadn’t forgotten the picture and I was still mad. So, when I felt Chance’s tongue on my neck, I snapped at him. “You should probably go. Cam will be up early. I wouldn’t want him to catch you here,” I said sarcastically.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Chance said, rolling over to his back.