by J. M. Walker
She scoffed. “I don’t fucking think so.”
I flinched. I deserved that but it still didn’t hurt any less. “Evvie.”
“No,” she snapped, glaring at me. “You’ve wanted nothing to do with me for a week and now all of a sudden you do?”
“I’m trying to help,” I insisted. A couple of months ago and I would have just left but now I was practically begging. Fuck me.
“Please.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag off the counter before storming away from me.
“Evvie. Stop,” I demanded, following her.
She flipped me off and walked faster, away from me.
“I’m not having you out in the city at this hour by yourself,” I said, my voice hard.
“Well I’m not going anywhere with you, asshole,” she mumbled.
Once we reached outside, I grabbed her arm, stopping her. “I’m driving you.” She could fight me the whole way, I didn’t give a shit. As long as she was safe, that was all that mattered.
My pulse sped as we stood there staring at each other.
Letting go of her, I sent both Ian and Kane a text, letting them know I was leaving for the night and walked by Evvie. “Get in the car.”
She thought about it for a moment, but after a minute, she huffed and came toward me. She reached into her pocket, pressed a button on her phone and brought her cell up to her ear. She met my stare head-on. “Hi, yes, can I get a cab—”
Don’t think so, sweet girl . I snatched the phone from her hand and hung up.
Evvie pushed me. “Give me my phone.”
“No,” I said, sticking the phone in my suit jacket.
“Give me my damn phone, Brett.” She pushed me again, trying to reach for my jacket.
I grabbed her hands, holding her against me. “I am driving you to the fucking hospital.”
“Why?” She shoved out of my grip. “Why do you care what happens in my life?”
“Why wouldn’t I care?” I bit out, sick of this game we were playing.
“You didn’t care a week ago when you came into my apartment, broke up with me, fucked me, and then left. Is that all you wanted? After all of these weeks? I was some hole for you to fuck when you got bored, Brett?”
“Watch it, Evvie,” I snarled, closing the distance between us.
“Or else what?” She shook her head. “God, I’m so fucking stupid.”
In a quick move, I cupped her chin, forcing her head back. My blood roared in my ears at her sass. Pushing her up against the side of my car, I kept a firm hold on her jaw. “I don’t like those words coming from your lips, lover.”
“I’m not your lover anymore.” She glared. “So, you don’t get to fucking call me that.”
Leaning toward her, my mouth was mere inches from hers. “Under normal circumstances, I would put that dirty mouth to good use.”
“Yeah well, when had our relationship ever been normal? Now let me go.”
“I miss you,” I whispered, wanting to tell her everything, including why I had to break up with her.
Her back stiffened. “You should have thought of that before breaking up with me.”
“I told you—”
“You didn’t tell me a damn thing. I don’t know why you lied to me. I don’t know why you broke up with me. I don’t know anything,” she cried, her voice cracking.
I released her and opened the passenger door. “Get in.”
“Are you trying to make me hate you?”
“Get. In.” It took everything in me not to bring her home and tell her everything. To tell her how sorry I was. To beg for her forgiveness. But I couldn’t. Not yet. Not until I had the situation with Claire resolved.
“‘Cause it’s working,” Evvie mumbled and slid into the car. Holding her head in her hands, she let out an exasperated sigh.
I closed the door and went around to the driver’s side. This was the first time I would be alone with her in a week, and I was nervous as hell.
I slid into the car beside Evvie.
“Why did you break up with me? Honestly. Did I not satisfy you?”
My gaze snapped to hers. Was she serious right now? “Satisfy me? God, Evvie, you were the best thing that fucking happened to me.”
“Then why are we not together, Brett?” she cried in frustration.
“I cheated on you.”
She laughed. “You can say that as many times as you want but I know you didn’t cheat on me.”
“How do you know that?” Fuck she knew me well. Too well at times. “I use women,” I blurted instead of confessing to her why I broke up with her in the first place. “Fuck them and leave them, and I don’t care who I hurt in the end.”
“You came back to me. Slept with me once and then—”
“I was drunk. You hit on me so I fucked you. I never turn down a piece of ass.”
When her palm connected with my cheek, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. My skin tingled, heating from the slap of her palm.
“That’s for lying to me,” she said, lifting her chin defiantly.
“Evvie,” I warned.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t enjoy these past few months together. Tell me you don’t love me.”
I looked away because that was one lie I refused to say.
WE DROVE TO the hospital in silence. No words. Not one. And it pissed me off more than if Evvie were yelling at me. I hated the lack of communication between us. The guilt weighed heavily on my chest, knowing I was the reason for the pain in her eyes.
Once we reached the hospital, I turned off the car and faced her. “Tell me who’s here.”
She let out a heavy sigh, admitting defeat. “My dad. I don’t know what happened.”
I cupped her hand, giving it a firm squeeze, and left the car.
Evvie opened the passenger door and slid out of the vehicle before slamming it closed. “I don’t want to be here.”
“I don’t think anyone ever does,” I murmured. It had been a long time since I had been at a hospital. My parents died when I was in high school. Keisha and I had to look out for each other. But with Evvie, if something happened to her father, she had three brothers to worry about. She may have been the youngest, but the nurturing side of her didn’t show any different.
“You didn’t have to come up with me,” Evvie said once we reached the long white hallway on the floor where her father was.
I reached for her when she backed away. My stomach twisted, acidic fury rushing through me. I should have been mad. I had no right to be, but I couldn’t stop from feeling the rush of anger sliding over my skin.
“Your dad will get through this, Evvie,” I told her, shoving my hand in my pockets.
“You don’t know that.” She looked everywhere but at me.
“No, I guess I don’t,” I mumbled.
“You can leave,” Evvie said while we walked to her father’s room. “You drove me here like you said, so go home.”
“I’m not leaving,” I replied, following along beside her.
She stopped and grabbed my arm. “Just leave. Please. You have no right to be here.”
I shrugged. “Maybe not.”
“God,” she cried. “You piss me off.”
“I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. You may hate me. You may not even fucking love me anymore, but you can’t be here by yourself.”
She frowned. “My brothers are here.”
I stood up straighter. “That means nothing to me.”
“Brett.” She huffed. “Just leave already.”
“Call me selfish. Whatever. I don’t fucking care but I need to see for myself that you’re okay before I leave.” I would never forgive myself if I left before being certain that everything was fine.
“I’m not okay,” she blurted, her eyes brimming over with unshed tears.
Taking a tentative step toward her, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. When she didn’t pull away, I hugged her even tighter.
&
nbsp; “What the hell is he doing here?”
My back bristled at the sharp command coming from one of her brothers.
“He’s here for me so drop it, Evan,” Evvie snapped at him.
Evan closed the distance between us, getting in my face. “I’ll hit you again, asshole.”
“I don’t think this is the right time for that, Evan,” I said, my voice calm and even. “There are more important things to deal with first.”
Evan’s brows narrowed. Just when I thought he was going to hit me, he backed off and headed down the hall, the way he came from.
I turned my attention back to Evvie. She was all that mattered right now.
She sighed, roughly brushing the tears that had fallen freely down her cheeks, and followed him.
I wanted to reach for her. To comfort her. To hold her and tell her that everything would be okay, but I couldn’t because would it ever be that? Just okay?
Ethan came out of a room, noticing his sister first. He pulled her into his arms.
“What’s going on?” she asked him, returning the embrace.
“Heart attack.”
Evvie gasped, her eyes widening. “How?”
Ethan looked away, his jaw clenching.
“This fucker got in an argument with him, that’s how,” Evan snapped, joining his siblings.
I moved off to the side and leaned against the wall, but made sure to stay close by.
“Excuse me?” Evvie gaped at her brothers.
Ethan took a step toward Evan. “That’s not fucking true and you know it, asshole.”
“Stop.” Evvie placed a hand on both of their chests, pushing them apart. “Please. Someone tell me what happened.”
“They got in a fight over why Ethan was in jail and how stupid he was for getting caught. Dad said he taught him better.” Evan locked eyes on Ethan, challenging him.
“He did teach me better but I was sloppy. It’s my fucking fault I got caught. No one else’s. Mine,” Ethan growled, clenching his fists at his side.
“I just want to know what’s going on with Dad,” Evvie stated, pushing Evan back.
“Your father is resting.” A tall man sporting a white coat walked up to the group, his green eyes softening. He held out his hand to Evvie, his mouth lifting into a smile. “I’m Dr. Charles.”
“Evvie,” she muttered, returning his handshake.
“How’s our father doing?” Evan asked, his mouth set in a grim line.
“He’s stable. We’ll keep him here under observation for the next couple of days,” Dr. Charles answered.
“Can we see him?” Evvie asked, her eyes shining.
“Of course.” The doctor smiled. “I’ll be back in a bit to check on him.”
“You guys go in first,” she told Ethan and Evan.
“Are you okay?” I asked, stepping up behind her. “I’ve been there, Evvie,” I whispered.
She looked up at me.
Memories of that day, when Keisha and I were pulled from class and told something that ripped our lives apart. Losing our parents due to some asshole who couldn’t control their need to drink and drive. I couldn’t have done it without my sister. Her strength is what got me through.
Warm arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me from the noise of my mind.
“Will you come see my dad with me?” Evvie asked, looking up at me.
I nodded, grabbed her hand, and led her to her father’s room.
Once we were inside, I felt her tremble beside me. Losing someone was hard. It fucking sucked. It was something you could never get used to. Evvie had lost her mom. She knew how that pain felt. These men in her life were all that she had. I knew I needed to step aside and let her be with her family right now, but I couldn’t for fear she would close up on me for good.
When we walked past the curtains, Evvie let out a soft gasp, her hand fluttering to her throat. She swayed on her feet. She would have fallen if I hadn’t been holding her.
Moving in front of her, I cupped her face, forcing her to look up at me. “Evvie.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, her breathing became shallow. A sob escaped her.
“Damn it, Evvie. Look at me,” I said, my voice firm.
Her eyes popped open, focusing on me.
“Listen to the sound of my voice.” I took a deep breath. “Breathe with me, Evvie.”
She followed my actions, taking several cleansing breaths of her own.
Once I was satisfied she wasn’t going to pass out, I pulled her into my arms.
“Please don’t leave me,” she pleaded, her voice muffled by my shirt.
“I’m not leaving.” I kissed her hair.
Releasing her, I pulled her around the curtain that surrounded her father. Ethan and Evan were sitting in chairs by his bed. They glanced my way but I didn’t care. Not when my sole purpose was making sure Evvie was safe.
A sob escaped her and she fell to her knees. She grabbed her dad’s hand, holding it tight.
“Fuck,” Ethan mumbled, his voice thick. Both he and Evan left the room, but not before Evan shouldered me. Way to be cool, asshole.
“Brett?” Evvie called out, her voice small.
“I’m here,” I told her and sat in the chair behind her. Pulling her onto my lap, I wrapped my arm around her waist.
“You don’t have to stay,” she whispered.
“I’m here for you.” I rubbed small circles on her back, gently massaging my fingers into her muscles.
“Why?”
“You asked me to come in here with you.” My fingers paused in their path over her back.
She nodded, letting out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what we’ll do if things take a turn for the worse.”
“You are all strong. You’ll make it through this. Your dad is a fighter from what I hear.”
A small laugh escaped her lips. “That’s an understatement. I remember seeing him take down four cops because they handcuffed him in front of me.” She smiled at the memory.
“God, Evvie.” I couldn’t imagine but I got it. I would have done the same thing if my kid saw that. “What you’ve been through.”
“Don’t judge him.” She turned to me. “My dad is a good man. He loves us. He just made some stupid choices and he had to pay for them.”
I cupped her cheek. “I don’t judge, but I do worry when it comes to you.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“Why do you keep asking that?” I demanded, a little harsher than I would have liked.
“Never mind. This isn’t the right time anyways,” she mumbled, bringing her dad’s hand up to her lips and kissing his knuckles.
“Hey, sis.” Ethan walked back into the small area.
Evvie rose from my lap and wrapped her arms around Ethan’s middle.
He crumpled against her. “It’s all my fucking fault,” he muttered into her hair.
“No.” She sobbed. “It’s not.”
“I caused the heart attack,” he confessed.
Evvie leaned back, staring up at him. “You listen to me. You did not cause this. You hear me?”
“You weren’t there.” He shook his head, looking anywhere but at his sister. “It was fucking brutal.”
“You guys have fought before.”
“This was different.” Ethan glanced at his father’s sleeping form. “If he doesn’t wake up from this…”
All Evvie could do was hug her brother.
My chest tightened at the pain in their eyes.
I stood, wanting to give them some time alone when a groan came from the bed.
Their father blinked his eyes a couple of times before keeping them open. They were tired and strained, but they remained focused on his children.
“Evan,” Evvie called out.
I slipped out of the room just as their older brother came barreling past me.
Good news finally poured down on Evvie like she deserved. I was sure it would be a long healing process for their father but waking up was a step in the
right direction.
***
A half hour later, Evvie came out of her father’s room. Her cheeks were red and blotchy, her shoulders slumped like she had the weight of the world on them.
“Are you alright?” I asked, taking her hand and leading her to the waiting room.
“I guess.” She flopped down on a chair and leaned her head against the wall.
I took off my jacket, placing it in my lap. “Rest.”
She shook her head. “I can’t sleep.”
“Even if you don’t sleep.” I patted my lap. “It’ll help make you feel better.”
“Yeah.” She snorted. “Right.” She didn’t argue again and curled into a ball beside me, resting her head in my lap.
“I love you.” I whispered, curling my arm around her waist.
She rolled on her back, squeezing her eyes shut. She took a couple of deep breaths.
I wished I knew what to say. I wished I knew what to do. But nothing came out of me. All I could do was touch her and, even then, I wasn’t sure if that was enough.
She sat up, leaning her head in her hands.
“Evvie.” I wrapped my arms around her middle.
“Stop,” she sobbed. “Please. God, it hurts too much.”
“I’m so fucking sorry.” I brushed my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the sweet vanilla scent of her body wash. “For everything. For me. For us. For your day. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t do this.” Her shoulders shook. “I can’t be near you and not touch you.”
“I’m touching you right now,” I said, swallowing hard.
“I’m quitting the club. I can’t be there. I can’t be around you.”
“Evvie.” Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. “Please stay.”
She shook her head. “I’ll stay until you find a replacement but after that, I’m gone. I’m moving on.” She met my gaze. “I’m forgetting you.”
I winced, pulling away, and stood from the chair. “I wish your dad well.”
Even though I deserved it, it still hurt like a bitch, but I refused to beg.
So I did the first thing that came to mind.
I left.