Pointe of Breaking

by Amy Daws

  I attempted to wrap my brain around my grandfather disagreeing with the higher ups and couldn’t see it. My grandfather was such a quiet constant my whole life. I could not see him ruffling feathers.

  “Leo, your grandfather was excommunicated from the Gold after he bargained with Rossi Senior to be removed from the order, no questions asked. It’s a very difficult thing to achieve. You know the amount of secrets exchanged at those meetings.”

  “How did he do it?” A shred of hope blanketed me for the first time in years.

  “He released his title of presidency for himself and for all of his heirs…or…legacies…me, you, your son, et cetera. He passed off his appointed Mastership role to Rossi Senior, Sedric’s father.”

  “So Grandpa got out… Why did you get back in?” I asked, more confused than ever.

  He pursed his lips and leaned forward on his knees twining and untwining his fingers. “When your grandfather left the brotherhood, he lost a lot of his business contacts. Important contacts, Leo. Share holders. Times were tough. Your grandfather’s partner was dying of cancer which meant his shares were going to be open for purchasing. We needed those shares, Son, or we would have lost everything.”

  “But Grandpa had already made his deal,” I said softly, looking off into the distance trying to envision how it all played out.

  “That’s right. He was out. But I wasn’t. I had just started at Columbia, and I had the chance to help my father out in the biggest way possible. He didn’t want me to do it. Begged me in fact. But it was too late. I had already pledged. And because I was a legacy, I was accepted into Gamma Phi, then eventually…into the Gold.”

  “So you used insider trading to keep grandfather’s business afloat?”

  “No, Son. No!” He scooted closer to me. “If you get nothing out of this meeting, you need to get this. I have not ever…not once…used any insider information from those meetings. It doesn’t mean I’m innocent. I’m certainly guilty by association and could certainly go to prison. But I’ll have you know, Leo, the only interest I had in joining up again was re-establishing the A-List clients that we lost when your grandfather left the Gold. That was it.”

  “I’m so confused, Dad,” I said, aggressively rubbing my head.

  “I know, Son. I know. I just need you to know that your grandfather was a good man. And Richards & Brown is a clean company. Our books are good. Our employees are honest. Your grandfather was a better man than me. I was just eager to make my mark in the company. I wanted to be the hero. Unfortunately, at the cost of my father’s pride.”

  I shook my head, unable to believe that my grandfather wasn’t proud as hell of my dad for sacrificing so much to keep the company afloat as just a young college student like me.

  “I know you see the Gold as this horrid evil that arranges marriages based on money and pedigree. And yes, they do that. I met your mother at one of the Gold’s function. But I loved her. I still love her. Deep down, she isn’t, I’m not, as evil as you might think.”

  “I don’t think you’re evil, Dad,” I said. “I just…I see the world differently. My eyes have been opened to what it means to struggle. People on the streets, they aren’t all there by choice. They are good people who just need help. I feel that so ardently that everything the Gold stands for makes my blood boil.”

  “If your grandfather were alive to hear you say this, it would move him to tears.” My dad stopped on the last word, his voice choked on a whisper. He swallowed hard. “I had forgotten what a humanitarian my father was until you reminded me, Leo. I’ve been so focused on the business and getting our clients back, I’ve lost sight.”

  I smiled meekly, unsure what else to say at this point. “I appreciate you telling me all of this, Dad, but what does it even mean?”

  “Son, it means that I will support you no matter what you decide to do with your life, the same way your grandfather supported me.”

  I nodded seriously taking in what I think he’s telling me.

  “I will support you no matter who you love.”

  He placed his hand on my shoulder to help penetrate what he was trying to say. I immediately tensed and looked to him with wide eyes. “It’s not love, Dad. Adeline was…just…nothing.”

  “Son, nothing can always be turned into something. It just depends how hard you’re willing to fight for it.” He smiled warmly. “Your grandfather said those words to me.”

  CHAPTER 29 ~ Adeline

  “Meet me at Cuppa’s at ten. Tonight.”

  I ended the call.

  I knew I shouldn’t have even picked up the phone and dialed Leo’s number after he made it abundantly clear we weren’t an item. I just didn’t believe it was over, whatever our short-lived relationship had been. However, it wasn’t until I’d gotten that pic-text from Blake a few days ago that I finally put it all together. It was really over. Leo was not interested. I didn’t know how many times I had checked my phone before I figured that out. Honestly, I wished that I hadn’t left him that last voicemail… I wished I’d gotten the pic-text of him and Sasha before. It would have saved me the humiliation knowing that he knew just how hard I’d fallen for him. Nevertheless, I couldn’t lie to myself, not anymore. Leo had meant what he said: We were done.

  Blake arrived early at Cuppa’s that night. He shook rain off of his jacket. I glanced outside. Gray clouds were rolling in.

  “I’m not done for another twenty,” I told him.

  “I’m in no rush.” He gave me the once over.

  My skin crawled. I couldn’t stand the way he stared at me, with a possessive hunger in his eyes. I wiped my clammy hands on my apron and made up an excuse to get back to work even though no other patrons were here.

  I could feel his eyes on me as I cleaned the coffee filters. He always enjoyed watching me hustle around in my barista outfit. After finishing up, I sat down across from Blake and handed him a coffee with extra cream, just the way he liked it. He tilted it to the side where I usually personalized my brew.

  He said, “Cupp-A…but no heart?”

  I said nothing. I wasn’t here to chit-chat about my heart or lack thereof. I reached for a handful of sugar packets, ripped them open, and dumped them into my coffee.

  “You look like you’ve been living off Splenda and caffeine,” Blake said, eyeing the empty packets. “I take it you’ve decided against going to food pantries like your sister had.”

  “Leave Zoey out of this.” I wished that I’d never mentioned her when we were together. Even so, I didn’t deny it, but I wasn’t going to admit it either, not out loud anyways. I needed help. Bad. My stomach growled. I pretended not to hear it, but the acknowledgement was obvious in Blake’s eyes. He knew I was desperate. He knew I was hurting. And he knew that I couldn’t keep this up if I was going to keep wearing my pointe shoes.

  Besides, he had offered me a way out…

  “Is your offer still on the table? The one you gave me before I started at Focal Pointe?” I asked and felt like a whore the moment I mentioned it.

  Blake eyed me. “Yes.”

  I dug into my apron pocket, pulled out my engagement ring from a ziplock bag, and slid it across the table. My stomach churned. I hated myself for making any pact with Blake, but I just couldn’t do this anymore, not physically or mentally.

  “Then you have a deal, Blake.”

  He picked it up and examined it. “It was crap that you didn’t give this back to me a year ago. You knew it was my grandmother’s.”

  I’d known. I’d accepted the fact that I was a horrible person for keeping it in the first place. Honestly, he could have been giving me the line that it was hers all along just so he wouldn’t lose out on the stone’s value. That and I didn’t know what to believe from him.

  “Why’d you do it, Blake?” I asked.

  He tucked the ring into his breast pocket. “Why’d I do what?”

  “Why did you call off our engagement? You can tell me now. Now you have your picture-perfect wife, a dream job, a
nd all the happiness money can buy.”

  “Money can’t buy happiness,” he said with a sadistic grin.

  “You just bought me.” At least I knew what I was worth. A costly tuition bill from Joffrey’s, few months back rent, grocery money, and new bathroom floor boards. “That should bring immeasurable happiness knowing that even after all the shit we endured, you still came out on top, smelling like a rose.”

  “Marrying you was simply a bad business deal, but I did love you, Adeline. I still do.”

  “Blake, don’t use words you don’t understand.”

  “Oh? Are you going to give me a lesson in love, because from where I’m sitting, you don’t know shit about that four-letter word either.”

  Sighing, I rubbed my temples. He was right. I hated that he was right. I didn’t know love from hate. The two seemed to be so closely intertwined. I thought I loved Blake, yet it was replaced with unrelenting heartache.

  “So get off your fucking pedestal. Because the truth is sweet-cheeks, you’re blackmailing me.”

  “You offered me the deal, not the other way around!”

  “Tell me, if you hate me so much, then why hold onto the ring in the first place?” Blake smiled smugly and crossed his arms. “We both knew that you’d use it someday when you were in dire need.”

  I slammed my fist down on the table. “Because I did love you, you bastard!”

  I bit my lip, wishing that I’d never admitted that. The ring was many things to me—a sentiment of what we had together, even if it was a lie. Because the truth of the matter was, Blake had been a big part of my life, and our time together profoundly changed me.

  “You still love me.”

  “I have strong feelings for you, but love isn’t one of them.” How could I ever explain that to him? I couldn’t. So I ignored his arrogant expression. Talking about us wasn’t worth my breath. We needed to focus on the real reason why we were meeting. “When will you do it?”

  “In the morning.”

  He reached for my hand. I clenched my teeth and wished my hand would go numb. I didn’t want to touch him. I didn’t want to see him. But even if I wasn’t married to him, I would be forever in his debt now…forever tied to him.

  “You can never be with Leo.” He tightened his grasp around my hand. “Never, got it?”

  “Got it.” I jerked my hand out from under his. It was a feeble request and an easy one to comply with since the man in question didn’t even have the decency to return my calls.

  The sky opened up just as we cemented our agreement. Thunder rocked the roof. I would probably catch pneumonia walking home in the downpour, and bus tickets were out of my price range…well, until the morning anyways. Right now, I didn’t even have room on my credit cards for a measly ticket home.

  “Let me give you a ride home.”

  I’d just sold my soul to the devil. What was one more favor? I grabbed my coat from the back and then followed him outside.

  Blake opened his umbrella and hailed down a cab. He ominously stood behind me. His shadow over me would forever be daunting. He edged closer as the rain spattered back up onto my legs. My insides were as chilled as I was on the outside. My trembling had less to do with the sudden cold in the air and more to do with Blake’s hand slipping down my neck. Thank God a taxi pulled up, giving me an excuse to step out into the rain and away from my possessive ex.

  Heavy drops spattered all around us, making it hard to see. Even so, a shadowy figure caught my eye. Soaked and alone, Leo stood in the middle of the street staring at me like I’d betrayed him. My stomach twisted into knots as Blake stepped behind me and whispered in my ear. “Do I need to remind you so soon?” He took a deep breath of my hair. “You can never be with him.”

  I couldn’t imagine what Leo was thinking as I climbed into the car—alone at night—with a married man. It didn’t matter. Even as much as I wanted to run to Leo, I pressed my lips together and slipped into the vehicle. What I felt toward him didn’t matter.

  He’d made his choice.

  I wasn’t it.

  CHAPTER 30 ~ Leo

  Minimizing my feelings for Adeline these past few days was such a joke. The more I acted like I didn’t care for her—that I wasn’t falling for her—the more depressed I became. Telling my father that she was nothing was venom on my tongue. It burned and it ached, and I was a fucking moron.

  I was falling for Adeline Parker. There was no getting around it. And it sure as fuck wasn’t going away.

  And now, knowing that my father was supportive, despite all of the pressures from the Gold, made everything else a lot less scary. If my grandfather was able to resist the Gold, then surely I could too. Perhaps we were more alike than I ever knew. That thought was exciting as hell. Maybe I could use their success for good instead of greed.

  Right now, all I cared about was getting Adeline back. I had fooled myself into thinking she would be better off without me. That was a fucking lie. No one was better for her than me. The idea of anyone trying to love her like I could made my chest contract. I would get down on my knees and beg if I had to. She was worth it.

  Coming up out of the New York City subway in pouring rain was the city’s way of laughing at me and my melancholy state. I would have much rather hopped on the Ducati to get to Adeline faster, but the rain and my motorcycle do not mix.

  It thundered loudly and the energy of the storm fueled the passion and fire burning inside of me. I ran the entire five blocks towards Cuppa, where I hoped she was working since I couldn’t get an answer at her apartment. The fact that I’d never stopped by her place of work before pained me. When it came to Adeline Parker, I knew nothing about the little things, and everything about the big things. The fact that I was falling for her made me want know it all. Every damn bit of it. My heart hammered in my chest with anxiety. It had been three days since she last called me, and I hoped and prayed that didn’t mean that she had moved on. Rounding the corner, I zipped up my leather jacket further, soaked and desperate in a sudden burst of a heavy downpour.

  I then stopped dead in my tracks.

  Across the street, inside the cozy and warm doorway of Cuppa, was Adeline. My Adeline.

  Standing with Blake Rossi.

  Anger wasn’t my first emotion. Rage wasn’t my first emotion. Pure, undiluted pain sliced through my chest as Blake and Adeline hovered beneath an umbrella as his hand moved from her neck to the small of her back. He ushered her quickly towards a yellow cab that had just pulled up.

  Right before she got in, her eyes locked with mine, and my heart plummeted to the core of the Earth. Her clear gaze was unwavering as she took in my presence. Her jaw dropped as I stood there, frozen in time and space, waiting for the gods to come down and explain how the fuck Adeline Parker would let that evil bastard back into her life. Blake’s lips moved in close to her ear, murmuring something that she seemed to register profoundly. Before she could speak, before she could even blink, Blake shoved her into the cab. She slid quickly over to the window and watched me as they drove right past me, throwing a puddle of dirty NYC street water onto my boots.

  CHAPTER 31 ~ Adeline

  I stared at my apartment door. I wanted to laugh at the irony, of “my” apartment. It wasn’t mine. Granted, it would have my name on the deed, but really it belonged to Blake. I belonged to Blake. I sold my soul for my dreams, and now I didn’t want any of it. I didn’t want to put on another fucking pointe shoe. I didn’t want to live anywhere anyone knew what a pirouette was. I was so disgusted at myself that I couldn’t even go inside.

  So instead, I pulled out my key to Ivan’s apartment and let myself in his place. He was sprawled out on the couch, watching a reality show about being married at first sight. Love at first sight—ugh, I wished there wasn’t such a thing.

  Ivan flipped the channel when he saw me and turned it to some swamp show about hicks making it big by catching fish. I managed a smile. At least he was kind enough to turn the station. I flopped down beside him. Maybe wa
tching TV would drum out my conscience.

  “You’re staying up?” Ivan asked when I curled up next to him. He put his arm over my shoulder. “Don’t you have the early shift in the morning?”

  I cringed. I would have to tell Ivan about my deal with Blake. He’d notice when I was no longer pulling double shifts at Cuppa to make ends meet. “I’m putting in my notice. My salary from Focal Pointe should be sufficient for my bills now.”

  He pulled away from me. “How?”

  “Remember when Blake showed up at my doorstep after you dragged…him out of Joffrey’s studio?” I couldn’t even bring myself to say Leo’s name.

  “What I remember was you holding me back so I didn’t kick Blake’s ass out the door, just like I did to Leo at the studio because he was disrespecting you!”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. This was going about as smoothly as I thought it would. “You’re my partner. You want to still be my partner, right?” If he said no, I’d call Blake up in two seconds and tell him to keep the ring but our deal was null and void.

  His face fell. “Of course I want to be your partner.”

  “Then I have to stay in New York. And I can’t do that if I have nowhere to stay. I got an eviction notice today.” I left out all of the other debts I had.

  Without batting an eye, he stood up. “You can tell me to fuck off all you want, but we’re moving your stuff across the hall.”

  “No we’re not.” I patted the couch so he’d cool his jets. “I took care of it.”

  “What did you do, Addy girl?”

  And so I told him that Blake had agreed to get me out of the red if he got his grandmother’s ring back. Ivan’s mouth hung open after I finished telling him.

  “So he paid off all your debts for a fucking ring?”