Through The Fire (Guardians, Inc. Book 2)

by Belle Calhoune

  For a few moments neither one said a word as they allowed the events of the past few days to settle in. Sierra met Caleb’s eyes for a brief moment and then looked away, too overwhelmed by the sight of him, and suddenly feeling unsure of herself and the words that she’d rehearsed over and over again. After endless seconds she found her courage and spoke. “I need you,” she said in a barely audible voice. As she said the words she felt clumsy and awkward. She had wanted this moment to be perfect, as pure and beautiful as the love she felt for this man. And she was ruining it by mumbling the words!

  “What did you say?” Caleb asked as he turned his back on her and began to polish a saddle, his attention seemingly focused on the task at hand and not at all on her. Clearly, due to her mumbling the words, he hadn’t heard a word she’d said to him.

  “I said I need you,” she repeated in a much louder voice, as something inside of her bubbled to the surface and urged her to fight for her man. Regardless of the outcome, she wasn’t going down without giving it her best shot. She wasn’t going to live the rest of her days filled with regrets because she’d been too stupid and too proud to lay claim to her happiness.

  Well, she sure had Caleb’s full attention, she thought, as she watched him drop the saddle he was holding and turn toward her, his mouth hanging open in shock. Immediately he tried to recover his equilibrium, masking his shock with a look of cool indifference that sent a shiver straight through her.

  Caleb shrugged his shoulders and looked at her blankly, not giving her any idea about his feelings. She knew what he was doing. From the moment Sierra had come back home he’d worn his heart on his sleeve - and in his eyes it hadn’t done him a bit of good. This time he wasn't allowing himself to hope, she realized. Not again. Not when the stakes were so high and he kept on losing. But this time he wasn't going to lose, she thought, because she needed him by her side, loving her, holding her, raising their children and ultimately, growing old alongside her.

  “Why?” he asked, “Is there more trouble at the Diamond Lil?” His face expressed concern over the possibility that something else had transpired at the ranch. She wanted to reach out and kiss him, but she had to stay on course and not waver. She couldn't get sidetracked by his all too kissable lips.

  “No, there’s no trouble,” she said in a reassuring tone. “That’s in the past. And from now on I’m only looking toward the future.”

  Caleb wondered if this was what she was here to tell him? Was he the past she spoke of? The past she needed to put behind her? Or was he the future? The future she was looking toward? Although he wanted to speak, to say something, anything, to plead his case - he kept silent. It was Sierra’s moment. For better or worse. She needed to believe in them as strongly as he did. She needed to know deep down in her soul they were destined to be together...soul mates. Forever. Because if she didn’t believe, then there was no way they could make it last a lifetime. Ever since she'd ridden up to his spread he'd been urging his insides to stop doing flip-flops at the mere sight of her. The soft lilting quality of her voice and the slightest hint of Texas drawl that he lovingly teased her about was driving him wild. Wonderful, beautiful Sierra. The woman he’d never stop loving. The woman he couldn’t imagine living without.

  “I-I’m here because you once said that you dreamed of me riding up to you on a horse the color of midnight.” She laughed shakily. “Only thing is I kind of messed up my lines.” Sierra paused and took a deep breath, her face suddenly becoming serene, as if she’d reached a state of inner peace. “I love you. There. That wasn’t too hard to say. Even though I feel like my heart is jumping out of my chest and I can’t seem to breathe normally-.”

  “Say it again!” Caleb demanded, his features dark and intense as he gazed into her eyes, his eyes connecting with hers on a level that reached down into her very soul. His gaze breathed new life into her, nurturing and sustaining her so that she could offer him all she had to give.

  “I love you,” she said in a strong voice, the words ringing out so loudly that the group of cowhands standing by the corral turned toward them with wide grins on their faces. They were amused by the scene unfolding before their very eyes. After all, it wasn’t every day that a fairy tale princess came courting a rough and tumble rancher. Spurred on by the approving grins and the wolf whistles, Sierra screamed the words, “I love you” so that it echoed throughout the stillness of the lazy afternoon.

  Caleb’s grin was slow in the making, but it suddenly appeared on his face, transforming him from a man living in the shadows to a man basking in the glorious sunlight.

  “Can you ever forgive me?” Sierra whispered, her eyes filled with unshed tears of emotion. She’d thank her lucky stars for the rest of her life if she was granted his forgiveness, of that she was certain. Breathlessly, she waited for his answer, knowing that her fate hinged on the words that would tumble out of his mouth.

  “For the woman who loves me...I can forgive almost anything,” Caleb whispered, his eyes looking suspiciously moist.

  Sierra released the breath she’d been holding, her entire body sagging in relief as she heard Caleb’s words. There was so much she needed to say to him. There was so much she needed to explain. “Ever since I got my grandmother’s letter I’ve been so angry and confused. For the most part I thought I was angry at Lilliana Rose for lying to me, but in the past few days I’ve come to realize I was the one doing the most lying of all.” Sierra sighed and shook her head. “I was lying to myself. All along I tried to tell myself that you and I didn’t matter anymore and that the past was the past, but I couldn’t do it,” she sobbed, as tears freely ran down her face and she swatted them away with the back of her hand.

  Caleb moved towards her, wanting desperately to take her in his arms and hold her close to his heart where she belonged. He needed to comfort her, to chase away all her fears and dry her tears with his kisses. But as he moved towards her she held her hand up to ward him off, her eyes reflecting the same inner determination that she’d exhibited the night she’d insisted they follow Poppy up to the cabin.

  “I don’t want to be comforted right now, Caleb. I need to get this off my chest or it might never get out. All along you’ve been the one fighting for us while I stood on the sidelines.”

  “No, that’s not true,” Caleb cut in, unwilling to sit by while she tore herself to pieces. “You were the one who came to me that first day. Even though you said it was for your grandmother, I know that wasn’t the only reason you came to me, sweetheart. You came to me because you wanted us to have a second chance. Don’t you see that? Don’t you see how wonderful and brave that was?”

  “It wasn’t all that brave. I came to you because I had to...it wasn’t a conscious choice. It was like something in the wind was calling your name and I had to answer the call. I came to you out of need, pure and simple.”

  “I need you too, baby. So much,” he whispered tenderly.

  “This whole time I’ve been running. And I’m so tired of it. I took off for New York. I've avoided romantic relationships because it reminded me so much of what I’d left behind...it reminded me so much of you, Caleb.” Sierra reached out and ran her fingers through Midnight’s mane, her fingers acting as a comb for the long, tangled strands. She let out a sigh and said, “I’m so tired of running.”

  “From what? From me?” he asked, his voice reflecting his surprise. He thought he’d been the only one running away from his emotions, while this entire time Sierra had been struggling with the same demons, the same insecurities.

  Sierra smiled wistfully and said, “Mostly from myself. From the pain. From the possibility that you wouldn’t love me the way I need you to love me...the way I’ve hoped and dreamed that you could love me again. So instead of fighting for us, I did what I did before. I took off. Even though I was right here in town, I ran away from you and I built up barriers where there shouldn’t have been any.

  “And I knew you weren’t the one terrorizing the Diamond Lil. In the deepest p
arts of my soul I knew it, Caleb. There were just so many other things that were frightening me...everything got all turned around,” she finished lamely, knowing there was no way in the world that she could explain the range of emotions she’d gone through. Her grandmother’s death, along with her shocking deathbed confession had sent her spiraling into an emotional maelstrom, and combining those forces with her unresolved feelings for Caleb and the vandalism at the Diamond Lil...she’d been a total mess, one who’d been running on empty for weeks.

  The look of stark pain on her face pierced right through to Caleb’s soul, and he knew in that instant that if he could absorb all her pain and transfer it onto himself, he would do it in an heartbeat. Only for her. Because his love for her ran that deep, right to the core of him. And he knew that Sierra’s love was just as deep, reaching into the innermost parts of her soul. She’d come to him today not as the pampered princess he’d always imagined her to be, but as a strong, moral woman who’d laid her heart and her weaknesses right out before him. And he accepted her, for better or worse.

  “Can I come to you now?” he asked, his voice filled with longing and hope. She answered him with a wide, toothy grin, one that radiated pure joy.

  It was at that moment that he strode towards her, reaching her in an instant and pulling her down from where she sat astride Midnight, his powerful arms twirling her in the air effortlessly. Slowly, he lowered her down to the ground, savoring every moment.

  “Marry me!” she demanded as her feet touched the earth.

  His mouth hung open in shock, his eyes widened and his legs began to buckle beneath him. “W-Was that a proposal?” he stammered, while a silent voice inside his head warned him not to get too excited. This couldn’t be as good as it sounded. Women like Sierra didn’t ask men like him to marry them, he reminded himself. Only in his dreams!

  “Yes,” she said laughingly as she covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “I’m asking you to marry me, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.” Never in a million years had Sierra ever imagined that she’d be bold enough to propose to a man. Once again she was risking it all. Too many years had been wasted already on misunderstandings and false pride. She was going for it, regardless of the consequences. And she was loving it.

  Caleb’s features hardened as Sierra’s laughter rang in his ears. He couldn’t even begin to mask the hurt he felt at her making a joke out of a phony marriage proposal. For once he didn’t even try to hide his feelings. “Don’t tease me, Sierra,” he scolded, his eyes darkening from amber to rust as they filled with a wild pain. “I’ve waited too long for this moment. If you’re not serious-.”

  Sierra reached out and grabbed his hand, gently flipping it over so that she could kiss his palm. And kiss away any pain that she might have inadvertently caused. “I’m serious, baby. Very, very serious,” she whispered somberly as she reached up and cradled his head between her hands, pulling his face down towards hers so that she could kiss all his doubts away. For a moment she teased him, brushing her lips against his before she kissed him fully on the lips. You’re mine, her actions said. Forever, his response promised as his mouth moved over hers, expertly, tenderly.

  “Can’t you see how much I love you? How much I want to be your wife? How I’ve always wanted to be Mrs. Caleb Matthews?” she asked, her eyes shining with devotion and tenderness.

  Caleb cupped her face in his hands, his thumb gently stroking her cheek, his eyes caressing her, radiating pure love. A love he could no longer contain. A love he wanted the whole world to know about. “Yes, Yes, Yes, darlin. I’ll marry you. Today, tomorrow. Whatever. Whenever.”

  Sierra buried her head against his chest, her eyes filling up with moisture as Caleb’s words reverberated in her head. Yes, darlin. I’ll marry you. There were no words to express her happiness, and other than bursting out in song, she didn’t know how she could adequately express her feelings.

  “Whooeeeeeee!” Caleb squealed as he reached for her, throwing her over his shoulder in one fluid motion and twirling her around in the air in celebration. He didn’t care that all of his ranch hands were staring at him like he was a crazy man, or that in one fell swoop he was dispelling his reputation as a tough, no-nonsense boss.

  Sierra clutched on to Caleb for dear life, burying her face against the side of his neck in the hopes of hiding the scarlet blush she could feel creeping across her cheeks. “Put me down, you wild man! There are ten people gawking at us. Before nightfall it’s going to be all around town that we were acting crazy.”

  “Crazy in love,” he said as he gently nudged her chin up with his forefinger, silently noting the crimson blush that stained her bronze cheeks. She was so delicate, he mused, yet so tough. So incredibly resilient. She wasn’t a rose or a lily, he decided, but an African violet, fiery and exotic, warm and beautiful. And deeply in love with him, he thought proudly.

  “Always,” she whispered.

  Caleb rewarded her with a kiss, one that sealed the deal. Their future was together.

  Gently, he pushed her away from him, a hint of mystery sparkling in his jewel-toned eyes. “There’s still one more thing that we have to do before we can put this whole thing to rest,” Caleb said in a serious tone.

  “What’s that?” Sierra asked. “Tell all of our family and friends that we’re going to be marching down the aisle?”

  Caleb threw his head back with laughter, his face lit up with a dazzling grin that made his handsome face breathtaking to look at. “Without a doubt, darlin,” he said, his words serving as a promise of things to come. “But first, we need to talk to Poppy.”

  ***

  “What took you two so long to get here? I’ve been expecting you for days.” Jock held the door to the cabin wide open, welcoming his visitors with open arms and a wide, easy smile that lit up his entire face.

  Sierra almost did a double-take at his appearance. Although Caleb had told her that his family had finally gotten Jock into an out-patient alcohol treatment program, she hadn’t expected such a drastic change in his appearance. The scraggly beard had been cut short so that Jock no longer looked like Rip Van Winkle’s twin brother. His clothes looked as if they’d been freshly-pressed and he seemed much more lucid.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting, Poppy,” Caleb said sarcastically, “but we’ve been busy attending to some other important matters.”

  Jock waved his hand in the air, dismissing his grandson’s notion of important matters. He ushered them into the cabin and once they were inside he gestured for them to sit down on the sofa. “I heard all about the goings on at the Diamond Lil. I never liked that weasel Sam Jarvis, no indeed. He was a snake.” Jock turned towards Sierra, his face filled with apology as he said, “I’m sorry about your horse and the other acts of vandalism. But if you’re anything like your grandmother, you’ll get right back on track.”

  Sierra smiled at Jock’s kind words, her heart instantly melting at Jock’s warm and friendly manner. This, she thought, was the man who had captured her grandmother’s heart, the loving, charismatic man that had haunted Lilliana Rose for most of her adult life. This smiling, kindly man who had greeted them so warmly at his doorstep was poles apart from the scattered, nervous man she’d seen on two previous occasions. Thankfully, Caleb had prepared her for the visit to his grandfather’s cabin by discussing with her his grandfather’s problems with alcohol and manic depression. Caleb had confided in her that for months at a time Jock might be sober and on his anti-depressive medication, until out of the blue he’d go on a bender and lose all control, drinking himself into oblivion and raging out of his senses. It was for these reasons that Caleb hadn’t wanted Sierra anywhere near his grandfather. It was for this reason that the entire Matthews clan was overly protective of their Poppy.

  Sierra held out her hand to Jock and clasped his in a firm handshake. “You disappeared before I could properly thank you. You saved my life, Mr. Matthews.”

  Jock grinned and pumped her hand fiercely, th
e raw strength in his handshake taking her by surprise. He was nothing like she’d imagined him to be. “Call me Jock, please,” he insisted. “After all, I was almost your grandfather.,” he said with a chuckle. “By the way, I didn’t mean to scare you none the other day. I get a lot of curiosity seekers up here now and then. My eyesight ain't what it used to be.” He paused for a moment to soak in her features. “You sure do favor Lilliana Rose. She was one fine looking woman, let me tell you. I reckon that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To hear about me and your grandmother?”

  She nodded. “Yes, it is. Before she died Grammy wrote me a letter, and in that letter she asked me to find you and talk to you. She wanted me to find out why you broke things off with her...why you left her at the altar all those years ago. She said it was the only way she could rest in peace. I know that you don’t owe me any explanations, but I feel like I need to do this...for my grandmother. You see, I loved her very much.”

  “Believe it or not, child, I did too.” Jock’s eyes were flooded with tears and he swiped at his face with the back of his hand, wiping away a stray tear that had streaked down his cheeks. He was overcome with emotion. “In all these years I’ve never spoken one word of what I’m going to tell the two of you. But I reckon it’s time.” Jock turned to Caleb, who sat next to Sierra on the sofa, clutching her hand for support, knowing instinctively that she needed his touch, his warm, soothing presence beside her.

  “Your grandmother, Shanae - she was a good woman, Caleb. And I loved her in my fashion. More like a sister than a wife, though. I’d known her my whole life, since we were babies sucking on bottles.”

  By this time Caleb was perched on the edge of his seat, his curiosity piqued by the mention of his beloved grandmother. “If you didn’t love her,” Caleb asked with a raised eyebrow, “then why’d you marry her?”