If I Only Had A...Husband (The Bridal Circle #1)

by Andrea Edwards

  “Because I didn’t do it,” Alex said, his voice so reasonable and calm that she wanted to throw something at him. “I don’t have the connections to try something like that.”

  “Oh, come on. Who else knew how much I wanted it?” She stopped pacing, and glared at him, arms crossed over her chest. This was worse than her worst nightmare—that would have been just not to get invited. She’d never considered the horror of getting asked and then unasked.

  Alex leaned against his bookcases. “Somebody else obviously knew and thought they had the connections to pull it off.”

  “Yeah, like who? Gran?” Penny waved her hand in a sweeping gesture. “Oh, wait. I know. It was Junior.”

  “No, it was me.”

  Startled, Penny spun toward the open door. Brad stood there. With a nod toward Alex, Brad took a step inside, his blue eyes dark and serious as he faced Penny.

  “I was the one that messed up,” he said. “You’d gotten in on your own and my meddling ruined it.”

  “What?” Penny couldn’t believe this, didn’t know what to think. It felt like the bottom had just dropped out of her world. “Why in the world did you butt in?”

  He shrugged, but didn’t flinch from her gaze. “You wanted it so badly.” His voice was ragged with remorse. “I had no idea your invitation was in the works already when I tried to help.”

  That was his reason? She wanted it so he had to run out and get it for her? Some of her hurt began to harden into anger, numbing her and making her strong.

  “You figured I couldn’t get it on my own so you would do it for me?” she snapped. An old familiar hurt was growing. That the one person she wanted to prove herself to, just didn’t believe in her. But she wouldn’t give in to the hurt now. Not here. She let anger have the upper hand.

  “I can’t believe this,” she said loudly.

  “Why don’t we all sit down?” Alex said. His voice had grown calmer if anything. “Nothing’s going to be solved by shouting.”

  Ha! Maybe shouting just made her feel better. Hands on her hips, Penny advanced slowly toward Brad. “Jeez, if this isn’t just like old times! The dummy can’t do it, so do it for her.”

  “It wasn’t like that at all,” Brad protested.

  She stopped a few feet from him, hoping—praying—that she was going to see something in his eyes that would prove her wrong. But she was afraid to look and turned away at the last moment.

  “Oh, no?” she said. “You didn’t do all my homework for me back in eighth and ninth grade?”

  “Well, yes.”

  “But I know.” She glanced back at him, her voice ripe with sarcasm. “It was because I was so smart and you thought it would give me an unfair advantage over everyone else.”

  “Actually...” It was his turn to look away.

  She had him. He was going to have to admit the truth, but the victory felt very empty. Like dreams that had been smashed to pieces on the shore.

  “Actually, you hardly even talked to me,” she said.

  “Now, that’s not one you can blame him for,” Alex interjected.

  She turned. “You’re on his side now?” she asked. She might have known men would stick together, yet it seemed almost too hurtful.

  Alex just shook his head. His arms were crossed on his chest as he sat on the arm of a chair. He looked relaxed. Uninvolved. “I’m not on anybody’s side,” he stated. “But you do have that effect on males.”

  “Can’t you speak in plain English for once?” she snapped. “What are you talking about?”

  “Striking men dumb,” Alex explained. “Even back then, there was something about you that made adolescent males lose the power of speech around you.”

  What nonsense! She just rolled her eyes; it was better than olling heads. “You expect me to believe that Brad—” Her laugh was a short bitter laugh. “Yeah, right. And even today, he’s—”

  Something suddenly struck her and she slowly turned back to Brad, her eyes narrowing. “Wait a minute,” she said. “How did you have the clout to even try this?”

  Brad shrugged and looked away for a split second, then back at her. But he didn’t quite meet her gaze square on. Couldn’t meet it?

  “I knew some people,” he said.

  “You knew some people?” The light dawned and she felt doubly a fool. Triply. A hundred times. “My God, you are the Brad Corrigan the computer guy talked about, aren’t you?”

  “What computer guy?” Brad asked.

  Alex whistled softly. “So I was right.” He sounded pleased with himself. “Designer of the IDD-4 network router. Technology Today’s Man of the Moment a few years back.”

  “You knew?” Penny frowned at Alex—whom she had thought was her friend. “You knew and didn’t tell me?”

  “I wasn’t sure,” Alex said with a small shrug.

  “What computer guy?” Brad repeated, a little louder.

  She turned, angry at them both. Angry at herself for being so stupid and trusting. “Some guy at Compu-Staff.”

  “That’s an employment agency,” Brad said.

  “So? I called them to see about a job for you.”

  “You what?” he cried. “I don’t need a job.”

  “You said you didn’t have one.” She wasn’t letting him turn this all around. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t butted in and spoiled his dreams.

  “I never said any such thing,” he argued.

  “You drove a junky car,” she returned. “You don’t have a home. And you’ve got a cheap watch.”

  “Uh, Penny—”

  She ignored Alex, pressing her defense with Brad. “What was I supposed to think?”

  Brad looked annoyed. “I drove a junky car because, among other things, I’m majority owner of Rented Dented and that’s what we rent. I don’t have a home because I travel all the time and this is not a cheap watch. It’s a limited edition, custom-made Rolex.”

  She felt a small flush in her cheeks, but raised her chin just a fraction in defiance. Okay, so he’d proven her dumb again. She didn’t have to let him know it. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

  “I didn’t think I needed to,” he snapped. “How was I supposed to know you were going to think the worst? That you were going to butt in and take care of me?”

  Alex held up a hand. “Hey, let’s take it easy. It’s a habit for her, too. Not all that different from—”

  Penny just knew what he was going to say. “Alex!”

  But it didn’t stop him. “—back in high school when she put extra sandwiches in your lunch.”

  Brad went deathly pale and turned slowly back to face her. Horror. Dread. Loathing. They all crossed his face. “That was you?” His voice was almost a whisper.

  She was not going to be cowed by his reaction. It wasn’t as if she’d done something to be ashamed of. Looking him straight in the eye, she nodded. “Yes, it was.”

  But he just looked over at Alex. “And you knew?”

  Alex shrugged. “Everybody knew,” he said. “I can’t believe that no one ever told you.”

  But Brad was not ready to marvel over everyone’s silence. The horror in his face increased and he sank into the chair next to him. “My God,” he muttered. “The whole town must have been laughing at me!”

  This was getting a little much. It was just a few sandwiches. And he had to have known someone was putting them there! “No one was laughing at you,” Penny snapped. “I was trying to help. At least I didn’t take over instead of letting you do something for yourself.”

  “Oh no?”

  “Actually I think you both were meddling,” Alex stated.

  Brad got to his feet. “Well, no more,” he snapped and looked her in the eye. “I have a few more things to finish up in town and then I’ll be gone. You won’t have to worry about me meddling anymore.”

  “And you won’t have to worry about hanging around with somebody too dumb to recognize a Rolex,” she said.

  That seemed to make him even ang
rier. Too close to the truth perhaps? She ought to be too numb to hurt anymore but the pain kept finding ways to sneak through.

  “You always were a stubborn—” He stopped, locking his lips shut.

  “Fool?” she finished for him. “That is what you thought, isn’t it?”

  He just turned on his heel and left. The room seemed deathly still, unnaturally still. Penny couldn’t even hear her heart pounding. Maybe it had stopped. Maybe she had just broken it in two.

  “Are you going to let him leave like that?” Alex asked.

  She just looked at him. She’d almost forgotten he was there. “He wrecked my dream.”

  “And you stole his pride. Sounds like you’re even.”

  “Shut up, Alex.” She walked slowly, wearily, to the door. She was exhausted and strangely detached. As if it took too much energy to feel. “You didn’t help in all this.”

  “I thought it was time for a little honesty,” he said. “You know. you’re both doing these things because you love each other. You have for years, maybe it’s time to stop running from it.”

  She stopped at his door, turning to frown at him. “If you aren’t careful, I’m going to dump that tree on your house.”

  He got to his feel. “No, you won’t. You’re too honorable. You’ll forgive me and you’ll forgive Brad. The question is whether or not you forgive him in time.”

  Toto sat down on the Corrigan house porch steps and looked across at the big yard. Overgrown and weedy, it still held a hint of the beauty it must have once had. And would have again, one day soon, he hoped. That old birdhouse in the maple there was nice. Maybe he’d put in a birdbath at the base of the tree. And a few bushes with berries on them for the birds to eat.

  With a contented sigh, he patted Junior’s head. “You’re gonna like living here,” Toto said. “Lots of room to run around in. Nice for kids, too.” He felt his stomach quiver a little. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  Junior wagged his tail and Toto smiled. The big dog would be great with kids. If Toto and Dorothy were lucky, they’d have—

  Junior jumped to his feet and wagged his tail as he looked around the side of the house. Dorothy came around the corner.

  She gave Toto a sharp look. “What are you doing here?”

  His own smile died, fell right down into the pit of his stomach. It was now or never. “Waiting for you.”

  He waited for Dorothy to smile, even saw her do it in his mind, but it never showed on her face. Instead, she glanced at her watch with a frown. “Can we talk later?” she asked. “I’m supposed to meet a potential buyer here.”

  Toto had gone over the scene hundreds of times in his mind. It was why he’d had a friend call and make this appointment. Dorothy would squeal with surprise, then grin with curiosity. He’d pop the question and she’d jump into his arms. Then they’d go out for dinner to celebrate. But the scene had never included this block of cold fear settling in his stomach.

  “That’s me,” he replied.

  “I don’t know how long I’ll—” Her frown disappeared, replaced by bewilderment. “You want to buy this house?”

  “I’ve got the money. I’ve been saving for years, looking for the right place to invest in.” Not for financial return, but for his dream to come true.

  “You want the house as an investment?” she asked slowly. “I just never...” She let her voice die out.

  It was suddenly important to prove that he meant this. That this wasn’t some whim. “I know it’s run-down,” he said. “But that’s what makes it special.”

  “As an investment?”

  He nodded. “And I already talked to the bank and got preapproved for the mortgage.”

  She smiled then, a slow smile that spread over her face like the sun coming out after a storm. “You really are serious,” she said, though her voice lacked some of the excitement he’d hoped for. “That’s great.”

  He grinned back at her. It was working out, just like he’d planned. He started to take her hand, but she had turned and was walking up onto the porch.

  “This is just such a surprise,” she said. Her voice grew brighter, riper with expectations, as she ran her hand over the porch railing like it was an old friend. “I never dreamed that the buyer would be you. I never had any idea you were interested in buying a house.”

  He laughed a little and went up to stand next to her. She was staring out at the yard as if she were taking in every detail. Dreaming of tomorrow like he was? He reached again for her hand, but she had turned to face him.

  “Do you know what this means?” she asked.

  Did he? His grin just deepened. Someday he’d tell her how he’d been dreaming of this moment for years, that it had started back in high school. And had kept growing even during those dark days after he’d offered her her freedom, and she’d taken it. Hell, yes, he knew what this meant.

  It meant he and Dorothy together for the rest of their lives. It meant a home of their own. Children. It meant—

  “It means I can finally go to Paris.”

  “Paris?” His world came to a screeching halt.

  “Bet you thought it was all talk, didn’t you?” she asked with a laugh. “But now, thanks to you, it’s going to be real. With the commission from this house, I can do it.”

  And then she kissed him lightly.

  Toto just stood there, a lifetime of dreams turning to ashes. He wanted to cry. To beg her to stay. To tell her how much he needed her. But he’d never done that before and he wasn’t going to start now.

  They’d been chosen Most Romantic Couple their senior year of high school and had their picture taken for the school paper at Glinda’s Flowers, surrounded by bouquets of roses. He had known then he would love Dorothy forever and thought she felt the same.

  But just a few months later, at their graduation, she’d given a speech about reaching for the stars and following your dreams, and he began to have doubts about her feelings. What did her speech really mean? Doubts began to grow and he started to notice her making more and more references to leaving and adventure. Finally when she began to talk about Paris, he suggested they break up. She had agreed. At first his heart had broken, but lately he’d begun to think maybe it was just talk and not really a dream. Now he knew her true intentions.

  “That’s great,” Toto murmured and stepped back out of her embrace. “Not too many people get to realize their life’s dream.”

  She reached for his hand, squeezing it. “I’m going to miss you.”

  Don’t go, then. But he just put a smile on his face. “But you’ll have Paris.”

  “Yeah” She let go of him and looked around at the house. “What are you going to do with a big place like this?”

  Toto stared for a long moment at the yard. The yard that had been filled with their kids a few minutes earlier.

  What was he going to do with this big house? Burn it down? Blow it up? Turn it into a museum for broken hearts?

  A cold nose poked him in the hand and he petted Junior gently. “Oh, the usual,” he said. “I’ll fix it up and sell it for twice what I paid. Not like me and Junior here need a big place.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “What’s going on, Penny?” Gran asked as soon as Penny walked in the kitchen door. “Brad was here about an hour ago. Took all his things and said goodbye. Wouldn’t even stay for supper.”

  Penny just looked at Gran for a moment She knew she was going to have to tell Gran the truth, but she had been hoping she could stall a little. Wait until the hurt wasn’t quite as fresh. But an afternoon spent tossing logs into the wood chipper hadn’t helped ease the ache, so why did she think time would?

  “We had an argument. I’m not surprised he left.” Penny started up the back stairs.

  Gran wiped her hands on her apron and followed her. “Land sakes, girl,” she snapped. “And you let him? You get out there and tell him you’re sorry.”

  “That I’m sorry?” Penny spun to stare down at her grandmother. “Wha
t makes you so sure I was in the wrong?”

  “I never said you were in the wrong,” Gran stated. “I said to tell him you were sorry. Two different things entirely. Get him back here and sort it all out. Being right ain’t no consolation when you’re alone.”

  “You don’t understand,” Penny said, suddenly too exhausted to feel anything. No, that wasn’t true. She felt something all right; she was just too tired to figure out what “I’m not going to be able to speak at the Oz conference. He meddled and they got mad and withdrew their invitation.”

  “That’s it?” Gran cried and with a grunt, turned back to making dinner.

  “What do you mean, that’s it?” Penny came back down the stairs. “Isn’t that enough? I’ve been wanting for years to do that.”

  “Wanting ain’t the same as needing.” She took two taco salads out of the refrigerator. “What else happened?”

  “He’s rich,” Penny said.

  Gran nodded as she put the salsa sauce on the table. “There’s an unforgivable crime.”

  Gran just wasn’t getting it. “He pretended he wasn’t,” Penny added.

  The old lady twisted her lips as she shook her head. “Oh, I don’t know about that. He didn’t say he was or he wasn’t.”

  “Same thing.” Penny took two glasses from the cabinet and banged them down on the table.

  Gran raised one eyebrow. “Maybe we should use the plastic glasses until you’re not quite so moody.”

  “I intend to be moody the rest of my life,” Penny informed her. “That’s what happens when you’re denied your dreams.”

  “Hogwash,” Gran said. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

  That hurt! “I thought you were proud of me.”

  “Of course, I’m proud of you,” Gran said. “For how hard you’ve been working. And that’s not going to change if you speak at that conference or don’t.”

  “Brad’s not proud of me,” Penny said. “He only meddled because he thought I was too dumb to get an invitation to the conference on my own.”

  “Gracious, we are full of ideas today,” Gran said. She put out a bag of tortilla chips and sat down. “Did he tell you that?”