Sweet Crazy Love

by Yvonne Sibanda

  “I don’t think I can do this.”

  Nana sighed and motioned for her to hug her. “It is well,” she said and lay back on the bed. “So what did you decide with Sean.”

  “It’s over. The man had the audacity to happily tell me he dodged a bullet.”

  Nana cackled with glee at Elsie’s shocked face. “Sean is a good man, am sure he will find a girl worthy of him soon enough.”

  Elsie huffed, “Are you saying I wasn’t good enough.” Nan chuckled at her offended expression. “Just go home, change your clothes those are definitely not for day time and stop being a nuisance.” She jested and Elsie hugged her again before she left. She already knew that the whole clan would be waiting for her at home and they needed answers. God help me, she sent the silent prayer looking heavenward before she drove off from the hospital.

  Chapter Twelve

  IT WAS two weeks after her broken engagement and everything seemed to finally have settled down a bit. As she had guessed, after her visit with nana she found the whole family waiting for her at home and demanding for answers over her untoward behavior. She rolled her eyes at that word that her favorite uncle Greg had used and her father Luc and Ethan had chuckled at it, not helping matters.

  She almost retorted back that, it was their scandalous history that made her that way. Each one of them had exhibited an untoward behavior including the scowling Uncle Greg who wanted answers while her fathers couldn’t stop sniggering at her expense.

  Who would wish for advisors if her fathers happened to be the worst in sorting out her problems? Luc had the audacity to state that she was Ethan’s problem, while Ethan scowled and said it was Luc’s blood coursing through her body that was the problem. Only uncle Garret appeared to be the reasonable one.

  She was grounded for three days. Imagine that, a twenty year old, independent lady being treated in the same manner like her twin sisters, that’s when she had really wished she stayed far away from home.

  She took the punishment at its stride and her siblings entertained her. Wendy interviewed her and was contemplating writing a story about her love affairs while the rest of the sisters who understood things pertaining to dating giggled at her expense.

  “A scandalous engagement, that’s the title of my play,” Wendy stated with flourish while Elsie grimaced.

  “One day you will find yourself in such a situation, don’t forget you are also a Cooper,” she retorted and her sister rolled her eyes. “Never, I am not you, maybe Nita is likely to fall into that trend but I refuse to follow tradition” Wendy proudly declared and winked at her.

  Nita protested also at that suggestion, “Wendy you are seventeen and already a huge flirt. Elsie even looks like a saint compared to you.” Wendy huffed and walked out of the room with her book where she had been scribbling some points on.

  “You shouldn’t say that love.” Elsie said to Nita amidst giggles. “Huh, don’t let those glasses fool you, Wendy is the worst and I stand on that” Nita declared before she informed her she was going out. As usual she was rubbing it in that Elsie wasn’t meant to venture out of the house for three days until things settled down.

  She decided to extend her days and finally two weeks later she was ready to venture out into the real world. Nan had called; she was out of hospital and wanted to meet with her. After getting ready, she walked down the stairs and found everyone having breakfast.

  “Back from exile I see,” her step dad said with a raised brow while her mother greeted her and she sat down for coffee. “So what is the first thing you want do?” her mother asked.

  “I am going to visit Nan.” Her mother clutched her head before she waved her hands in defeat. “You are a hopeless case,” she said and Elsie giggled since they was humor in her eyes.

  “I need to marry her off fast, she is just trouble you know that. I should talk to Randy to take her quickly, they isn’t a need for him to pay the bride price. He will have her free of charge,” her step dad said and she gaped her mouth.

  She didn’t think she was that troublesome. She gulped down the coffee quickly before they all ganged up and got on her case again. “I can't believe they have been so many detours in that ten year plan.” Her mother added staring at her husband while Elsie rolled her eyes. The sooner she got out of there, the better she thought and walked out of the room.

  ***

  “NAN!” she called out but there was no answer. Nan had mentioned that she will be home and now she had come to an empty house. She could hear the water in the shower fading away and thought maybe it was Nan who was done with her bath, so she settled down on the couch and waited. The door at the back had been opened widely and she wondered were Raff and Lilly where. Maybe at Rita’s, she would check them up later on.

  She suddenly felt nervous and wondered if she would meet Randy. From the way his grandmother had been protective over him, she knew it was unlikely that Nan would call her whilst he was around.

  “Nan, I will see you in the evening” Randy said getting into the living room and stopped when he saw her.

  “Where is nan?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know; thought it was her taking the shower, found the back door wide open.”

  He nodded and scowled before he remarked, “Please pass the message when she comes back. She should be ready by seven pm for our date.”

  “Is that it Randy, you are not going to talk to me.”

  He had turned and was now leaving. He turned around and angrily asked, “What is there to talk about Elsie. You made your choice. Why are you here anyway, have you come to gloat?”

  She was outraged at what he was saying and stood up. Of all people meant to know her, she never thought he would misunderstand her that much.

  “That is not fair Randy. I thought in these two weeks you would have calmed down. I see there isn’t any hope to reason with you. I should be the one leaving; you can deliver your message to your granny yourself.”

  She brushed past him and he caught her arm, whirling her around. “Whoa princess, what’s the rush? Why are you leaving, let’s talk. You wanted to talk right, let’s talk.”

  He folded his arms over his chest and glared at her, blocking also her path to the door.

  “Never mind, let me pass, I should go.”

  “You see, you have nothing to say after all. Go Elsie, runaway like you usually do. I no longer care at all. You can live your life the way you deem fit and count me as nothing else apart from a lapse of judgment.”

  He angrily turned around to leave. Elsie knew if she didn’t speak now she would lose Randy for good. Anyway by the way he had been looking at her, she had lost him already. What would revealing her past do, apart from putting the final nail to the coffin?

  "Randy I terminated a pregnancy when I was just thirteen years old" she blurted out. He had reached the door, but turned back to face her, shock evident on his face.

  "I feel ashamed okay. Is that what you want to know," she frantically said and wrapped her arms protectively around herself like a shield.

  It was now or never. Seeing Randy hadn't walked out but was now waiting for her to talk prompted her to hesitatingly continue. "At thirteen, I had done things not even a normal teenager or adult would. I wanted to be loved and sort validation from men. I told myself it didn’t matter all could be handled with just the rubber, it was impersonal. I dated men almost my father's age and slept with some of them. Justin was the only teen I dated. We were one of a kind. He introduced me to the night clubs and the alcohol, the fake IDs and the drugs. One day I came home and heard sounds from my parents’ room. Mom had left with my siblings for the farm and I had refused to join them and so I remained with dad. I went over to the room and opened the door. There was my dad with another woman. I quickly shut the door but he followed a few minutes later, handed me his visa card and told me to buy something pretty for myself. He needed me to take myself away from the house for a few hours. I have always known that my mom hid a lot of things ab
out my dad but still I never knew that it had come to that extent that he brought the women home.” She shrugged her shoulders and paced the room. “I was confused, hurting and my father didn’t love me the way a father was meant to. Who does that, bribes their daughter to be away from home so he could have his time with other women. I tried to get hold of Justin; his number was not reachable so I went over to his place. He had a couple of friends made up of boys and girls mostly Justin's age, seniors at the school we attended. I and another girl were the only ones in our early teens. They were having a party.”

  Randy stopped her from pacing in the room by holding her shoulders. She could see the compassion in his eyes but doubted it would be there for long. “It wasn’t an ordinary party of youngsters just having fun, with toys and water guns.” She flatly spoke, devoid of emotion.

  “It was an orgy; I drank like the rest of them and didn’t care what happened to me. They were four senior boys, Justin included. Oh God, I am so disgusted.” She shifted away from his arms and went to sit on the couch. “I was back at school when I found out I was pregnant and I didn’t know who the father was.” Her voice cracked.

  “I was young, confused with no one to talk to. They are some senior girls that I knew who were well versed, so they helped me by recommending a place where I could take care of it. I came back home over the weekend and went to the place. I got rid of it, went and partied till dawn afterwards. I just wanted to forget, not to feel anything and alcohol had a numbing effect to do just that. It was on our way when we were returning home that we had the accident. None got hurt apart from a few scratches sustained but the car was beyond repair. It was a miracle that we even got out of there."

  She stood up again and started pacing around the living room and rubbing her arms while Randy remained at the same spot she had left him. This was the first time in a long while since she had spoken about it. At the moment she didn't want to look at Randy and see the disgust in his eyes. Heaving a sigh, she continued, "That's how mom and Ethan found out everything. I guess that accident also made me to take introspection of my life. Would an older version of me be proud of the choices I had made? I was disgusted with myself Randy and I thought I didn't deserve to live. I was promiscuous and I thought myself to be weird compared to the rest of the teens my age but I remember pastor G saying I could start over, on a new slate. That God was a God of many chances and He never forsook me even when I was doing all those things, that it was His grace that had made me realize my mistakes and want to change. That's how I took a vow to remain chaste until I got married. You see," she shrugged her shoulders as the tears slid down her face.

  "I am not the princess that you mistake me to be. I have a dark past. My mother sent me to a public school so I could get a dose of reality and also so she could keep an eye out on me. No matter how hard I try to shake off that past, it haunts me. I don't deserve anything good because of what I am and I fear that I might not even be faithful to you or any man who will come into my life."

  "Ooh princess", Randy crooned and reached out to her before he engulfed her in a warm hug.

  “Why didn't you tell me before," he asked.

  "I was scared; I didn't want you to see me in that light. When I did tell Sean, he accepted me but it was as if something had shifted in our relationship. I didn't want that same thing to happen to you. For you to stay in the relationship because somehow you felt obligated but was no longer interested in me. On the other hand I couldn't tell Sean that it was better we broke it off when I realized you liked me too. Sean had stood by me and accepted me. It wouldn't be fair to him. I am sorry for being this way Randy."

  Randy hugged her again and could feel her sobs shake her body as she wept. Abuse is what happened to her. He could very much imagine her seeking attention and trying to make up for the short comings she thought she had, that’s why her father could treat her and her mother like that. Except the men never saw that weakness but used her to satisfy their own needs, just like the senior boys. All she wanted was to be loved. He hugged her and rubbed her arms. His sweet Elsie, he thought, so vulnerable and brave at the same time.

  Elsie appeared to have exchanged one fear for another. Love covered a multitude of sins but in Elsie’s case she appeared to have partly accepted that. She critically weighed everything against her past and thought no one would ever see the change and accept her the way she was now. She was afraid to feel, she was afraid to give herself whole heartedly and hence felt that she was more like her father if she failed to commit to anything.

  He also knew that sex was a good thing in its proper context, marriage since it was God's gift and a person had to be at a certain age, mature in every way to engage in that. What did a thirteen old girl know?

  He now understood why she had run off that day in his room and why she was quick in agreeing to get married to Sean after he told her he would seduce her in jest. She had been scared that she would revert to her former destructive self.

  "It’s okay," he whispered and pulled her to the couch before he settled down next to her. Wiping her eyes with the pad of his thumb, he softly remarked, "You don't look good when you cry."

  She snorted outraged and he smiled.

  "Only a few people know and I even told Rita on our last sleepover night before she went to varsity. I told her if she didn't want to be my friend anymore I would understand and she was like, girl you crazy."

  Randy chuckled, that was Rita for sure.

  "You are crazy indeed to have thought that love. That is your past and it should remain there." She sighed at that statement as it reminded her on what her uncle Garret would usually say.

  Randy wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you Elsie and after hearing this from you, even more. You are a brave woman."

  She was shocked to hear that from him and he chuckled at the disbelief written on her face.

  "You are the kindest and most loving young woman that I have ever met" he said.

  "Do you know why nana likes you?"

  Elsie shook her head since she didn't know where Randy was going with the conversation.

  "She usually says, Elsie knows life, she knows pain and such a person can be understanding to ones weaknesses."

  She giggled and asked, "What do you say to that?"

  Crossing his hands over his chest and staring at her beneath the lashes, he grumbled, “Nan are you really talking about Elsie, that twittering silly girl."

  Elsie pinched Randy on that note and he chuckled. "The old woman is right and I guess I was wrong and the fact that I took long in realizing what a mature young woman you are. It takes guts you know, to make up one’s mind and live up to it, and you Elsie have done it."

  Seeing the love in Randy's eyes and mirth instead of what she had expected, touched her at the core and another set of tears fell down her eyes. She really didn't deserve him, yet looking at him told her all she needed to know. He was here to stay. Randy tilted her chin up so their eyes were level with each other.

  "Don't you think it’s time we settled down and nana got the chance to meet her great grandchildren?"

  She gasped and clasped his hand that still held her face as Randy knew instantly what she had been thinking. That he would not want her after the confession. No one was perfect after all. The fact that she was able to move on and not sleep around after her misdeeds showed her character to be exactly what he had thought. She was a committed, faithful person and would stand by her promises, even if she thought herself to be the opposite.

  "I should add daft to my list of qualities about you" he remarked with a raised brow before he kissed her and didn’t let her protest.

  Epilogue

  Two months later.

  "DO YOU think she is going to run?" Nita asked with a smirk and Dustin, Rita's step brother poked her with his elbow. "That's your sister you are talking about."

  "Well she does have a knack at drama, that's why I asked" she giggled and sat back to listen to the vows being mad
e.

  So far the engagement party two weeks back had been a success, she had even spotted Sean among the guests before he disappeared. He should be grateful he had dodged a bullet than be leg shackled with her sister. She was a drama queen and needed someone who could be firm like Randy.

  Looking around the church, everyone was happy. Randy's Nan was beaming at the couple as if it was her wedding. Agatha was sniffling with a hanky over her mouth.

  "Ooh mom" she thought and resisted the urge to roll her eyes, from the expressions coming from the men, her two dads, Luc and Ethan they seemed like they might faint any moment since they were holding their breaths, ready to saunter to the door and manhandle whichever man might show up and try to ruin Elsie again. One was enough and she appeared to love him dearly.

  When the minister pronounced the couple as husband and wife, a round of applause reverberated in the whole church and she finally saw her dads smile.

  Nita giggled and hoped she out of all the Cooper girls would be scandal free. First it had been her mother getting hitched to Ethan after having thought he was marrying someone else, an embarrassing scene of course, then it was Elsie with her botched up engagement party. Already she could see Wendy was a big flirt and guessed her young sister would get married before her.

  Drama, drama, drama is all that her family was good at.

  She stood up and walked behind the happy couple. Ooh they were so in love they made her want to throw up in her mouth.

  A cute guy smiled at her and she scowled, what did he think, that bridesmaids were easy.

  Tilting her head up, she joined in the rest of the family and her beaming sister and new brother in law who were receiving best wishes from their guests.

  Finally one problem down, six more other problems left, her sisters and young brother were yet to grow up and also venture into the tumultuous world of love, ooh yes and that included her.