Meant For You

by Tomas, G. L.

  “Yes.” His pale, sage eyes studied my reaction.

  “Well, because I like playtime, sex, trust, and comfort to come from one source. My last relationship remained pretty vanilla as he wasn’t interested in exploring that side with me, and in my most recent D/s relationship, there was just a lot of dishonesty that made me wished I’d asked more questions upfront. Monogamy isn’t for everyone, but even in a kinky relationship, it’s what a woman like me prefers. I require a lot of attention. I’m not sure if that turns you off or not.”

  Again, he rewarded me with another barely there smile. “No. It’s more or less the answer that helped me decide that I’d like to go out a second time with you if that’s okay? Perhaps dinner at my flat? I’m not the best cook, but you can learn a lot from someone from the way their food comes out. With patience, even the worst cook can make a decent meal.

  We can talk more of our specific relationship preferences then, but for now, I’d settle for your favorite musical genre.”

  * * *

  Now

  I think I’m going to be sick. The flight into Helsinki landed six minutes ago and despite being in first class, I’d let nearly every person in coach stalk by me until there wasn’t a single person left on this damn airplane. Had I been this bad on my stop in NYC? Maybe, but I definitely wasn’t hyperventilating like I was now since I landed in Finland. Now that I was here, I didn’t think I could handle seeing him. If I was even ready to see him. But when the second flight attendant in a five-minute span approached me, asking if I was alright, I knew I couldn’t stay on this plane forever.

  “Would you like for me call someone for you ma’am? The plane landed and has been emptied minutes ago. I’m afraid you can’t stay as we need to prepare everything for the next flight. I however don’t want to overlook that something may be of concern,” she soothed in her heavily accented Finnish accent. The Finnish weren’t what I considered to be a particularly friendly people, but they did have a lot of love in their hearts, which she demonstrated so thoughtfully just now.

  “Can I ring up friends or family you might be staying with during your stay here?”

  At the suggestion, I stood up and thanked her for her concern as I grabbed my small luggage from the overheard compartment, where she then directed me toward the station’s terminal. I’d been to this airport twice before, the first time in the spring just after Olli and I eloped; the second, only a few months after when the weather was reminiscent of what it was now; dark, wet, and wintry. I heeded Olli’s advice and packed a warm, thick jacket and long Janes to wear underneath my clothes in case shit got real. I’d only brought two changes of clothes, three if I counted what I had on, along with another pair of boots that I should have been wearing in place of the trendy, thigh-high ones I was wearing right now.

  Could I fight the urge to want to look cute? It wasn’t like we were getting back together or anything, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t look my best knowing for sure he’s probably looking his. First class flights didn’t come cheap, so I prepared myself to say goodbye to the Olli I’d remembered. I followed the destination signs around the airport as it led me to the area of newly landed passengers meeting up with their families. I half-expected Olli would send his lawyer or some other person in his place to pick me up to avoid what could have been a painfully awkward reunion. But that’s when I saw him.

  Leaning against a wall, he lowered his fingers from his mouth and stood to his full height, and in that moment, I was sure he saw me, too. From his slicked back, perfectly trimmed hair to his sleek charcoal grey, tailored suit, the proof was there. My soon-to-be ex-husband had changed.

  The young, hopeless boy I’d fallen in love with had managed to transition into the man I’d always known he was destined to become. He was mythical; he was magical, and there was no secret that he was different now. The way his light green eyes regarded me the closer I approached him was breaking down the last few shields I’d spent convincing myself to put up during my connecting flight here. But it was his next gesture, his signature, barely there smile, that had demolished my final wall. I would be breaking that promise I made to my mother.

  Whether I liked it or not, I was going to fall in love with him.

  All over…again.

  7

  Olli

  “Did you have a pleasant flight?” was all I could manage to muster while I took in the full effect of her otherworldly beauty. If it hadn’t been for the extra weight she carried in her legs and rear end, I would have said she looked exactly the same after not seeing her for nearly a decade. Her skin, to this day, had always been my favorite shade of brown, a warm, deep espresso that calmed me on even my bleakest of days.

  “Honestly, it was long. If I never get on a plane again, it would be too soon.” She smiled that sweet smile that used to give me butterflies—that still gave me butterflies. She’d taken my advice to dress warm. These winter months were some of the worst it could get, and being the California girl that she was, Finnish weather had never been kind to her.

  “You look good, Benny. Although, I’m not sure about your hair,” I teased, remembering a time when she’d chosen to wear it in the large mass of coils and curls that I’d immediately fallen in love with. Her hair now hung across her shoulders in thick, dark, long waves that made her blend into a crowd of naturally straight-haired people. It was sexy in its own unique way, but her hair in its natural state had always played a large role in my instant attraction to her. Despite that, she still was the remarkably beautiful girl I’d found myself smitten with and now, I couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t just her hair that had changed. What else about her was different?

  “It’s not permanent. Nothing a little water and conditioner can’t fix. Do you really not like it, though?” She stroked her hair with newfound insecurity. “I figured it might be easier for me since my last visit this time of year. I could barely manage to find a hat to fit over it.”

  “It’s fine, Benny. I only tease. It’s just new to me, that’s all. Are hugs not in order after over eight years apart?” She smiled, laying her only bag on the terminal’s floor as I took her medium frame into my arms. The rich scent of her perfume, a hint of freshly bloomed hyacinths with a dash of the sweet stickiness of honey, engulfed me, causing me to pull her in even closer. This feeling. I wasn’t sure anything else would ever come close to this feeling. The comfort of having a soul so strong yet so vulnerable, trust me with the honor of being her Dominant. Her protector. Her lover. If there was anything I was ashamed to admit, it was that she still had this uncontrollable effect on my temperament. I only wished we were reuniting under less challenging circumstances. That was just the way fate worked, I suppose.

  “It’s good to see you,” I honestly admitted, placing a light kiss on her forehead. The slight whimper that escaped her lips sent a tinge to my cock that strained painfully against the constraints of my tailored slacks. To the outside world, we looked like a pair of lovebirds reuniting after a short stint of business trips. If only the case wasn’t that we were coming together for the sake of severing our ties to one another, so that I could marry the current woman in my life. I hoped in my heart that she’d at least found someone worthy of her and that she was leaving here to return to a promising, healthy relationship back home. After all, Benny had deserved the best the universe could offer.

  “Here, let me get your bag.” We detached ourselves from the embrace as I tried not to appear apprehensive in letting her go. Her bag was light in my hand, and even though she insisted she could carry it, the suggestion was lost on my stubborn ears. She may be my future ex-wife, but that didn’t mean I had to suddenly stop taking care of her.

  “So, the documents are back at my place. It’s also where you’ll be staying while you’re here. I suppose I should have made sure that was alright with you first.”

  “It’s alright, Olli. You know I don’t know much about the geography here, so I really appreciate you letting me stay with you instead
of a hotel,” she stated warmly. It was one of the things that had drawn me to her in the first place. She was humble and gracious. Instead of complaining of the things she didn’t like or couldn’t control, she chose to make the best of a less-than-desirable situation. That was more than I could say for myself and definitely more than I could say for Anna. I really did hope the two women got along. Perhaps it didn’t make much of a difference if I ever got Benny’s blessing to marry another, but her opinion was something I valued more than my own business partners. She was the one to convince me to follow my passion and learn more about investing. It’s not difficult to surmise how well that decision panned out for me.

  My driver will meet us at the departures exit. Will you come with me?” With a kind smile, she nodded as I walked with carefully shorter strides so she could keep up in her sky-high boots. Did I mention how stimulating it was to see her boots sensually hugging her lower thighs? It was a wonder how she’d managed to find boots that were comfortable and flattering to her curvier limbs. In a better time, I would’ve had the pleasure of ordering her to my flat in nothing but a long coat and those seductive boots highlighting her gorgeous, deeply toned legs, but now, I was only left to my imagination, which wasn’t the ideal situation given the now fully erect member locked away in my trousers. It was rare when I ever fantasized about another woman; why am I starting now?

  Together, we navigated through the anxious families and exhausted airline workers to the departures gate to meet my waiting driver. Thankfully my town car was parked close to the arrivals entrance, so the walk outside was no more than a few steps. My driver Jaako signaled if I needed any help, but with only one bag, it didn’t make much sense for him to get out, so I insisted I could handle it. The loud crunching of snow mixed with ice followed us with every step as I instinctively took her hand to ensure she didn’t slip. Her winter layers have garnered an “A” for effort, but the heels were perhaps not the smartest choice for someone not equipped like a native to handle the hurried gusts the wind carried.

  Taking my time, I helped her inside, assuring her that her bag wouldn’t be far as I rounded the car to secure it and its contents in the trunk of the car. Upon doing so a small, beaded bracelet spilled out of one of the extended zipper compartments. Dark blue and white beads adorned a retractable string, the letters O-l-i written across in small accented lettering. It had been so long, I had to ask myself if I remembered her buying it for me at one of those flea market bazaars we regularly visited ever during our unplanned trips to Barcelona. It was sweet but if I couldn’t remember it, I wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint her should she ask me about it. I also didn’t want to be accused of going through her things. When she questioned if everything was alright from upfront, I took my phone out pretending to be immersed in an important text message exchange as the bracelet went back into its compartment.

  “Is everything good?” she asked again, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows etching in concern as I climbed in next to her on the left side. “Everything’s fine. It was just my lawyer texting me to let me know the rest of the agreements I asked him to draw up are on my fax machine at home.” At that confession, I sensed a bit of tension form at the pit of my stomach. Wherever this car led, and whenever it arrived there, we were becoming one step closer to being Olli and Bendición, man and ex-wife. Out of each other’s lives for another decade, maybe even forever if we were unlucky.

  I didn’t like this discomfort between us, this distance. If there was something I could suggest to prolong seeing her smile again, I would’ve given anything.

  “Ugh, where are my manners? It’s obvious you just engaged in a series of long flights to be here; would you like to accompany me for a late lunch or early dinner? I’m sure you must be starving.”

  She flipped her long hair over her shoulders, directing her mysterious, deep brown eyes hidden behind thick beautiful lashes at me. “Now that you ask, do you know if they still serve that hot chocolate I was addicted to at that cute little café you used to take me to?”

  It had been the only place I could afford to faithfully take her while we were on a strict budget in midst of my job searching. Personally, I was just grateful that she loved that little hole in the wall eatery. It was lovely but surely wasn’t anything special besides their steamed drinks and pastries. Here I was, fully prepared to splurge on a five-star restaurant, and all her heart desired was a cup of hot cocoa. She never failed to surprise me with her humility.

  “Yes, I believe they do. Are you sure that’s all you want? If you remember, places out here don’t deliver food just anywhere like they do in the States. Once we make it back to my place, you’ll be subject to whatever’s availably stocked.”

  “That’s okay,” she replied with an adorable squeal. “I just really want that chocolate, and I ate a few sandwiches that I packed before I got here. I’m more thirsty than I am hungry.” Her expression was dripping in happiness. I admit it also brought a small smile to my face. Very few could disarm me like Benny could. The muscles in my face were even beginning to hurt.

  “Fine. Then cocoa it is.” In Finnish, I directed my driver to make a brief stop at the café. Hell, now even I was thirsty for a cup. I wasn’t in a rush to sign the papers just yet. I ached for just one more memory we could share together as husband and wife, for old time’s sake.

  8

  Benny

  Tantalizing hints of cocoa soothed my olfactory senses, yet also sent my taste buds on edge. The candied aroma of bittersweet chocolate cooled to where it was finally safe to drink, and I was surprised that for not having it for years that it was just as good as I remembered it. It was one of the first things I didn’t have to train myself to like.

  One of the best things about exploring other cultures, at times, was also the hardest things about them, too. Different cultures uniquely interpreted cuisine like desserts, staple foods, and many other things that weren’t necessarily wrong; it just took a while getting used to their gateway to it. For a country as cold as Finland in its winter days, I figured it wouldn’t be too difficult to find a good cup of hot chocolate.

  Helsinki was known for many good things, but I learned quickly that many of the offerings in coffee shops proved that hot chocolate wasn’t their specialty. Past attempts at finding the perfect cup found the liquid to cream ratio unbalanced, as if it’d just been pure chocolate syrup poured into warm milk.

  The place was small, and their prices were reasonable, and the hot chocolate was just as sweet as it was hot, and creamy enough to satisfy my expectations of it.

  There had even been a spooned version of the aromatic treat that I wish I had tried in the past but hadn’t even worked the courage eight years after. The traditional cup was so good, how could I try something else?

  Melted memories and ghosts from the past that were brought on by the warming drink made sitting across from Olli difficult. I could recall us walking there when our beginnings were humble, sharing kisses between sips, something he claimed to never do in public before me. Wanting to appeal to my cultural norms, he stripped himself of his inhibitions. While he’d been as stern and as stoic as a Finnish man could be, I provoked a different side to him he didn’t know he possessed.

  Oftentimes, I’d forget just how much he appeased to the submissive side of me, just to be the type of Dominant I needed, let alone boyfriend then later, husband. Despite being a struggling grad student, he’d managed to make most of my dreams come true, and I couldn’t stand that a sip of hot cocoa was forcing these memories to resurface.

  * * *

  The ride to Olli’s luxury home had been quiet and peaceful. I think I would’ve liked if we had talked more, but I definitely appreciated observing the ambience created by the light snowfall that couldn’t be matched by any winter back home in the States. Living in California, I can’t say I missed the harsh winters in Helsinki, but I always regretted Olivia never getting to see a diverse four-season change that wasn’t manmade.

  Olli’s drive
r parked in the open driveway as a man came out to take the luggage out of the car. Olli must’ve been doing better for himself than he led on. It was strange to see he employed this many people for things he was capable of doing himself. His door opened, and he snaked out, allowing me a chance to gather my things without the fear of his eyes burning holes through me. The time spent alone had only been brief; it wasn’t long before he opened my door and gestured me to exit the same way. “Adam will take your things. I will help you inside.”

  I almost didn’t take it, but I’d understood why Olli had offered to walk me from the car to the steps of his home. When I was roughing it like any native Finn, I’d been prepared for a little snow. Or in Finland’s case, a lot of snow. In my haste, I hadn’t realized the boots I’d worn from the plane ride, nor would any of the sneakers I brought, be as safe or compatible during such a dramatic weather change.

  Olli’s help, step-by-step in the snow, was much appreciated. Without his assistance, I would have probably fallen. Once we reached the front door, he let me walk ahead of him but made sure I knew he was close behind. He’d come a long way from the studio apartment we shared in the past as evident by the clean yet opulent style of the house he silently led me through. It wasn’t flashy or overt, but it managed to reflect his worth.

  I was about to congratulate him on his perceived success when we reached a hallway in his home that made my heart skip. Framed sets of lockets, various trinkets or low-level antiques were built into the walls, but this didn’t surprise me; since we started dating, Olli had shared his love of antique collecting. He didn’t collect them for any sense of value but he’d always had a preference for specific diverse items with historical significance.

  He loved to collect stamps, junk or any form of ornament from different countries in the same way some liked to collect coins or currency from all over the world. In his own little way, he’d found that all countries advertised their distinctiveness and history through their antiques. Admitting that interest, he was sure he would bore me, but I actually found it quite cultured to find your own way to connect to the world around you.