The Tribulations of Tobias

by L. E. Thomas

  Those who were not dancing had retired to the edges of the room and so they slipped easily into the central space to join the lines of couples. Tobias briefly glanced behind him to see that Captain Shouty, with no pause for breath, had turned to address Mrs. Holbourne. He reckoned that after five minutes of the receiving end of his persistent bawling, she wouldn’t be so keen on the notion of a blaring son-in-law.

  During the first few turns of the dance, Tobias kept an eye on Lucy until he saw the color returning to her face as she smiled and laughed with her dance partners, whirling from one to another. After a couple of hectic sets of country dances, she returned to his side at the final flourish from the musicians. They were both panting and overly warm so they made their way to the refreshment table where a large bowl of fruit punch had been placed and helped themselves to a glass apiece.

  The decorated military man was still close by, yelling at anyone within a three-yard radius. Mrs. Holbourne was nowhere to be seen and had beaten a strategic retreat. Before he could spot them and start shouting interminably in their direction, Tobias poured himself and Lucy another helping of refreshing punch and they swiftly escaped through the open double doors and out into the relative cool and peace of the terrace just as the musicians struck up again.

  He took her arm as they strolled around the side of the house, chatting comfortably and sipping the rather heady punch.

  Once they were around the corner and out of earshot, they paused in their perambulation and Tobias asked, “Who was that terribly noisy man?”

  Lucy giggled. “Oh, he’s a visiting cousin of our neighbors, the Farrells. They are awfully proud of him when he’s at a safe distance. I think they are delighted to be out socializing to dilute him a little tonight. I was panicking that I’d be stuck with him all evening and I did so want to join in the dancing. It seems you have a habit of coming to my aid,” she said with so a sweet smile that almost made Tobias blush.

  He felt the heat of her little hand on his arm and her wide eyes looking up at him were soft and full of warmth. As if by mutual assent and as though it was the most natural thing in the world, Tobias bent his head toward her and Lucy went on tiptoe in her silk dancing pumps and their lips met.

  It was neither a brief salute nor a particularly amorous kiss, yet it left Tobias with a feeling of deep contentment as they stood there, leaning together, joined for several heartbeats. Eventually, there came a sound of approaching footfalls and conversation from the other side of the terrace and they parted discreetly but unhurriedly.

  From the lights from the ballroom, he could see Lucy’s generous mouth was curved in a smile that must echo his own. He offered her his arm again and they ambled back toward the brightness and laughter of the party to re-join the fray.

  The rest of the evening was a whirl of conversation, more dancing, plenty of punch, a delicious supper, and the much-anticipated cake. The moment of closeness with Lucy was unthought-of until the next day when at home in his study.

  Tobias had his books and papers spread haphazardly on the desk. He was trying to put together a sermon for the next day comparing the seasonal grain reaping to God’s gathering of souls in a way that would not put old Mr. Hodges a-snoring in the second to front pew. It was only then that the significance of last night’s kiss came to Tobias’ mind and started to nag at him.

  Now in the cold light of day, his conscience was pricked. As a Christian gentleman, what was the correct course of action? Had he taken advantage of dear Lucy? Would he have to make her an offer of marriage so that virtue could be satisfied? He sighed and put down his pen and stared blindly at the open page of his dog-eared copy of Fordyce’s Addresses to Young Men.

  This situation was entirely new to him. He had not been able to propose honorable marriage to most of the ladies he had carnally enjoyed, as their husbands might have reasonably objected. And as for asking Meg to marry him? Well, he had a pride-denting suspicion that she would only go off into fits of hilarity at such a prospect.

  Poor Lucy had been under enough pressure from her mama to find a suitable husband while still deeply grieving for her fallen fiancé. Tobias neither wanted to add to that burden nor to make her uncomfortable in his presence. He enjoyed her company and did not want to spoil their newly-found familiarity.

  Anyway, he reasoned, when he had left the Holbournes’ sometime after midnight, Lucy had bid him goodnight most amicably as if their friendship was completely unchanged. Best leave it at that, he thought, and with grim determination brought his mind back to wrestling with suitable phrases to express the earthly and divine harvest.

  * * * *

  Despite his best efforts, his sermon was not a success. This was not necessarily due to the content, he reassured himself, as even Mr. Hodges stayed awake. However, Mrs. Slack, his hard-of-hearing housekeeper and her almost equally deaf sister did not seem to think that his weekly address was reason enough to halt their comfortable gossip.

  No one could help but notice their in-depth discussion about which public houses in the town watered down their beer the most. This subject was understandably more compelling to the majority of the congregation than any earnest reflections on God’s gathering-in.

  By the time he stood in the church porch as his parishioners departed and had listened to all their gripes and moans, Tobias was becoming a trifle weary. To compound the trials of the morning, he got collared by the churchwarden who, unlike the experience of Tobias’ sermon, was able to preach at him uninterrupted for some considerable length.

  Tobias felt sure that this good fellow did not mean to patronize him, but his lecturing tone was rather that of a schoolmaster to an inept pupil than a church official to his spiritual leader. The final straw for Tobias was when Mr. Eels flourished a two-page list, dictating who he thought Tobias should visit this coming week as a priority.

  As vicar of St. Margaret’s, Tobias knew he must please his patron and not disgrace the Canon, but giving precedence to the churchwarden’s cronies was a step too far. After all, the vicar did not exist to merely further that man’s social ambitions.

  He took the proffered pages to keep the peace (which would be glanced at later and promptly forgotten) and finally wrested himself away with an excuse that the midday meal was waiting for him at the vicarage. Tobias gave the distinct impression that this was a hot meal that would spoil with further delay, rather than cold meat, cheese, and bread that he would help himself to from the larder, as his housekeeper would dine at her sister’s on, no doubt, more appetizing fare.

  He walked through the churchyard, his head pounding as if he had spent an hour in an enclosed space with Captain Shouty. He let himself into the peaceful vicarage with some relief. Then his heart plummeted as he perceived his drawing-room door was open, indicating that someone had called while he was in church.

  Pasting on a somewhat weary smile, he glanced into the room, expecting a parishioner in need, but no one was there. Puzzled, he entered the threshold and glancing around, his eye fell on a foreign object on the settle in the shape of a wonderfully over-decorated lady’s hat.

  Miraculously, his headache vanished as his eyes swept from the room and up the staircase. His body followed his direction post-haste as he bounded up the stairs.

  In his chamber was Meg, not only without her hat but any garments whatsoever. Tobias looked at her lovely form decorating his bedcover, her hand already idly stroking between her parted legs.

  She grinned at him in welcome and said, “I thought I’d start without you,” opening her slender thighs further for his delectation as her busy fingers delved deeper. Tobias was momentarily entranced by such a vista, then recovering himself, he threw off his clothes at top speed, joining his uninvited yet inviting guest on the bed.

  Lying beside her, he watched as she teased herself, her prominent nub now beautifully engorged. In encouragement, he played with those tantalisingly generous nipples, which elicited a pleasing moan. Unable to stop himself, he kissed his way down her smooth
belly to her soft mound and his tongue joined her fingers in a hectic tussle which led to a gasp and gratifying shudder.

  He felt Meg’s hands grip his hips and gladly took her guiding lead as his body covered hers. It was his turn to moan as her warm, wet welcoming mouth engulfed his excitement.

  He tried not to thrust too deeply as he continued to lick and suck in a way that sent Meg into a gratifying frenzy, pushing up hard and rhythmically against his mouth. He slid his hands under her firm buttocks to give her purchase as she rocked and pushed and rolled against him frantically. At this point, Tobias forgot about his manners and met her thrust for thrust, with the vibration in her throat of Meg’s squeal of joy tipping him entirely over the edge.

  After a moment’s stillness, he hastily moved off her, and right way up, so she could breathe and they could kiss. This embrace was languorous at first but soon turned again to ardor. This time, once he was reinvigorated, Meg slid across his prone form and mounted him. The view of her naked body was beyond delectable. He reveled at the sight of her writhing on him, back arched, one hand busy between her thighs and the other tugging a taut teat, ruthlessly using him for her greedy pleasure.

  In mid-gasp, she opened her eyes, heavy-lidded with lust and uttered, “More.”

  Realizing it would be rude not to oblige such a fervent request, he grasped her slim waist and bucked for all he was worth until they both exploded together, with Meg’s climactic scream matched by Tobias’ enthusiastic roar of delight.

  She sank back down on top of him as if boneless and he gladly held his comely armful who seemed to be settling down to sleep away what remained of Sunday afternoon with him. In his relaxed state, he reckoned that questions like, Why are you here? And more importantly, How long can you stay? could wait until later as they both drifted off to dreamland.

  Chapter 5

  Even in his half-awake state, Tobias realized that things were not quite as they should be. Beyond his almost closed eyelids, the bedroom was bright, but the angle of the sun seemed lower and more golden in tone than was normal in the morning. He started to become more aware of his surroundings and as he did, he noticed that he seemed to be pushed to one side of the bed and something was tickling his nose.

  As he came to full consciousness, he realized that he was not alone, which explained the abrupt curtailment of his normal habit of being sprawled across the full width of the bed on awakening. The quality of the light was decidedly that of late afternoon and a stray ringlet belonging to his divan co-habitant was trailed over his face, causing the itchy sensation.

  He carefully removed the offending lock and sat up, regarding his peacefully reposing bed-mate and a satisfied smile crossed his drowsy face as he recalled Meg’s unexpected arrival and their tempestuous tumbles in his bed.

  However, although some appetites had been thoroughly slaked, his stomach reminded him that he had eaten nothing since breakfast-time. He slipped from the bed, eliciting nothing more than an incoherent mumble from Meg as she turned over in her slumbers, picked up his hastily discarded breeches from the floor and, putting them on, went downstairs in search of sustenance.

  On reaching the empty kitchen he noticed that the unattended fire was low and required rekindling. Luckily, as he bent down to attend to it, a crackle of paper in his pocket reminded him that his over-bearing churchwarden’s prioritised parish visiting list for the coming week might come in practical use after all.

  Once the fire was burning nicely, Tobias fetched from the larder the cold ham, cheese, bread, and a jar of the good pickles from home, and arranged them on the kitchen table. Then he foraged in the kitchen cupboards for cutlery, plates, glasses, and a nice bottle of claret he had tucked away for a special occasion.

  As he returned with his arms full of glass and crockery, a sleepy-eyed, tousled-haired Meg entered the room wearing nothing but his shirt. Tobias’ jaw may have dropped, but thankfully his burden of dishes and precious wine bottle landed safely on the scrubbed wooden surface.

  With a knowing smirk, Meg approached the hastily set table announcing, “I’m famished.” She sat on the chair, crossing her legs in such a way to give Tobias a tempting glimpse of her upper thighs.

  They were both indeed ravenous and enjoyed their simple repast in near-silence, punctuated by the homely crackle of the fire. When Tobias had finished concentrating on eating, he had the leisure to admire the rosy glow of the setting sun and firelight on Meg’s bare legs and unbound hair.

  He caught her eye and she smiled naughtily. As he rose to clear away the dishes, she beckoned him to her, saying, “This is more urgent,” And with her eyes aglow, brought him down for an increasingly hungry kiss.

  She stood up in his embrace and they held each other in a passionate clinch until she broke away momentarily and started to swivel around in his arms. Tobias was about to protest as her lush mouth was no longer available for his kisses. However, any objection was irrevocably silenced as Meg bent over the table, pulling up the borrowed shirt to reveal her bare backside.

  Tobias could not help but release his suddenly very eager member and taking it in his hand, gently traced the tempting cleft of her peachy bottom. Up and down he proceeded, making sure to rub the swollen tip against the deliciously soft yielding of her very aroused femininity.

  In response, Meg moaned and pushed out her posterior in evident invitation that he should continue. After he had repeated this teasingly several times, she looked over at her shoulder at him with a pleading expression and a simple instruction.

  Tobias gladly obeyed her command and with an easy thrust, he was home. With Meg hanging onto the edge of the table and Tobias clutching her hips, it was a vigorous and breathless session with Meg crying out in pleasure several times before Tobias joined her in Elysium.

  Once satiated, Meg turned around again so they could hug, then they walked a trifle awkwardly in this way to the fireside rocking chair. This mellow mood was only partially interrupted by Meg getting up to replenish their wine glasses before returning to her comfortable perch of Tobias’ lap. They sat there peaceably by the glowing heart until there was no light remaining in the patch of sky through the kitchen window.

  When Meg announced if she didn’t make a move now, she would fall fast asleep right there, she rose and departed for the bedroom, the length of her glorious legs on delicious display once again. Tobias only delayed following suit to bank down the fire for the night and to take the plates and glasses through to the scullery sink. That way, they would be disguised by the other dishes that needed rinsing by his housekeeper in the morning.

  As he left the darkened room, he mused that he would never think of his humble kitchen table in quite the same way ever again.

  * * * *

  There was an unexpectedly decorous scene in Tobias’ shabby drawing-room the next day.

  Unsurprisingly, most likely having tested the loudly discussed, sermon-interrupting theory of over-diluted beer at several watering holes in the town, his housekeeper had come home late and did not rise early.

  When Mrs. Slack eventually emerged from the kitchens, both Tobias and Meg were fully dressed, downstairs in the drawing-room, and behaving as though Meg was merely an early traveler who had dropped by for a word with the vicar before continuing her journey. In this way, he requested a dish of tea for his visitor, which they took together politely.

  This interval of comparative decency allowed Meg to acquaint Tobias as to why she had arrived so precipitously. One of her local admirers was due to stay in the area for a few weeks and had again hired the pretty cottage for her use in Titterington, the nearby town that Tobias’ relative, the Canon, dwelt in.

  Normally, this residence, only a few streets away from his clerical superior, would provide the perfect excuse for Tobias to visit her privately. Sadly, on this occasion, the gentleman who had organized her domicile would be in her almost constant company for the duration.

  As he was due to arrive this very afternoon, Meg had taken it upon herself
to travel as far as Stratton-over-Wye a day early to make the most of Tobias’ society while she had the opportunity. He was slightly downcast at the news that she would be so occupied during her stay. However, it did give him a slight frisson to know she was so nearby, and knowing her, might surprise him again, given even half a chance.

  * * * *

  The routine duties of the following day or so were ameliorated by the reminiscences of a memorable Monday sunrise in bed. These were especially welcome during particularly dull meetings with Mr. Eels the churchwarden. Visions of Meg astride him (as seemed to be a favored situation), her firm bounties fully displayed in the clear morning light with her urgent directions ringing in his head; “Faster, harder, oh, yes, just like that.” Then rather breathlessly, “Yes, yes, Tobias, just there, oh, a little more. Ooh!”

  He tried to keep the inane grin from his face while pretending to listen to the churchwarden’s rather droning tones.

  This feeling of lightness of spirit continued unabated until it was completely punctured most unexpectedly. He entered the vicarage after his usual round of pastoral visits. His housekeeper pronounced that someone had called around, which being quite normal, gave him no prior warning.

  He stood on the threshold of his reception room to find a stranger standing on his threadbare heart rug, which was the first surprise. A lady, or rather given her somewhat strident taste in apparel, perhaps not quite a lady, was awaiting him. However, given Tobias’ close acquaintance with ladies who were not quite ladies, he was not one to judge and so he smiled politely as he greeted her.

  To his astonishment, she stood up abruptly and declared in a ringing and decidedly metropolitan accent, “I’m here for my money!”

  “Excuse me, madam?” Tobias thought he mustn’t have heard her quite correctly.