The Tribulations of Tobias

by L. E. Thomas

  This was reinforced by her murmuring during her farewells when the parcel was pressed into his hands ready for his departure. “I’m sure your mama means well…” She uttered, in a slightly uncertain tone.

  Tobias was consoled by this (it was pleasant to have a local ally that was not entirely pro-Lowe) as he made the short walk to his next port of call. He was whistling a cheerful tune when he reached Meg’s cottage, which unsurprisingly looked deserted.

  He tried the door, which creaked open and let himself into the narrow hallway, calling a hallo which echoed emptily off the walls. Feeling slightly foolish, he went into the pretty parlor and sat in a comfortable chair, thinking he’d while away a few minutes before heading on his way again.

  As he sat, he became aware of a light creaking of footsteps on the floor above, which he knew was Meg’s bedroom, having spent some memorably hectic and blissful hours up there. He was about to rise and call out again, making the incumbent aware of his presence, when the noise ceased directly above and moved toward the staircase. He heard the dainty clatter of footsteps on the wooden steps and a familiar female voice humming in song.

  He rose to his feet, out of politeness, as the door opened, then sat down abruptly with his mouth open as he viewed the vision before him. There was the luscious Betty, evidently discharged from her duty with the flighty Fifi, but having raided the wardrobe of Bath Theater Royal.

  Somehow, she had accrued a costume of her former profession of opera dancer. On her deliciously curvaceous frame, it was at least a size too small, but given the vista it rewarded him, Tobias certainly was not complaining.

  She beamed at him, continuing to sing a popular and somewhat salacious song. Tobias, however, was unconcerned with the lyrics, but rather more transfixed with Betty’s bounties bouncing in the skimpiest theatrical outfit he could have possibly imagined. The skirt, as it was, didn’t even reach her plump knees, which were fully on display above her garters as she capered around in the dance which accompanied the rather rude lyrics.

  To his delight, her splendidly cavernous cleavage was well-displayed in the very low-cut bodice and her marvelous bust emerged a little more fully at every energetic bounce of the routine. When she turned around, bending over, winking at him cheekily over her shoulder, the exposure of plump thighs, a glimpse of bare bottom and almost exposed breasts nearly undid him.

  Perfectly aware of the effect she was having on him, Betty came toward him and leaning on his thighs, shook her splendid bosom in his face. This was too much provocation for Tobias and with a greedy gasp, he came to the aid of those delicious overflowing handfuls, helping them fall out of her stays completely and fastened his mouth on a candy-pink nipple.

  Betty finished her song with a squeak, before settling herself on his lap. Now Tobias not only had access to her wondrous chest but also that softly rounded rump. So, he showed his fervent appreciation by saluting the former with his lips and mouth and the latter with his roving hands.

  By the rotations of her hips, Betty was enjoying the avid attention and getting pleasantly hot and bothered. She released herself from his grasp momentarily and before Tobias could protest, she turned around so she was facing away from him, lifting her skimpy skirts, and fully exposing her wondrous nether regions.

  At this hint, Tobias released his very ardent shaft and as she sat back down on him again, gladly filled her to the brim. They then began their own song and dance, with Betty almost wailing her pleasure as she bounced vigorously up and down, using the hand that wasn’t precariously keeping her balance to eagerly rub her nub. Meanwhile, Tobias thoughtfully made sure to fill his hands with those marvelously bouncing breasts.

  It wasn’t long before Betty started to shudder, Tobias politely (if somewhat desperately) holding back until her cries subsided into moans before his pleasure exploded dramatically.

  They stayed there for a little while, Tobias fondling that splendid bosom until Betty recovered sufficiently. He felt relaxed and at ease with this naughty piece in his arms and was thoroughly glad of Meg and Betty’s plotting to give him some light relief from his wedlock woes.

  Eventually, Betty shifted her weight from his knees, evidently signaling that the pleasurable respite was concluded. With a sigh, Tobias thought about returning to the vicarage and pondered on what summoning notes might be waiting for him there. Providentially, Betty seemed to sense his change of mood.

  She looked over her shoulder at him and said with another cheeky wink, “Shall we go upstairs for an encore?”

  At that unexpected but extremely welcome suggestion, Tobias was well-nigh inspired to respond with an appreciative round of applause.

  Chapter 7

  Tobias departed from Meg’s little cottage at a more advanced hour than he had anticipated, leaving the luscious Betty sated (at least temporarily) and still a-bed. Aware of the approaching dusk, he hurried toward the main thoroughfare of the town, hastily tucking in his shirttails as he went. Thankfully he met no one he knew who might question why a vicar from a neighboring parish might be loitering so late about the street en déshabille.

  As he reached the coaching inn, he was fortunate enough to find a late carter, not only going back to Stratton-over-Wye but ready to depart straight away. They swiftly agreed on terms and Tobias gratefully hopped up beside him.

  In the gathering gloom, there was no one to notice his befuddled grin and the morose carrier, who had given nothing more than a terse affirmative to Tobias’ request for transport, took no further notice of his unexpected human package. His thoughts were focused on dropping off his final delivery of the day and then finding the nearest tavern in which to slake his thirst with the extra few pence he would get from his last-minute passenger.

  This left Tobias to mull peacefully over the active last few hours in Betty’s energetic company. After some wearying events that had drained his emotional resources, it was a pleasant surprise to have it so thoroughly taken out of him in such an enjoyably distracting manner.

  It had been a stressful week. The hasty departure of a recent and unlooked-for visit of his brother Tom’s former mistress, the flamboyant actress Fifi Fontayne, during the previous week, had almost immediately summoned his outraged mama from the family home a few counties away to the vicarage, in the style of an avenging angel.

  Before departing back home, apparently for his moral well-being, his mother had plotted with his unctuous churchwarden to find Tobias a suitable (and in the prospective bridegroom’s mind, infinitely depressing) choice of bride. Tobias shuddered along with the jolting of the cart as he thought of last Sunday’s church full of over-eager spinsters vying for his attention. Even worse, his mother was continually fixated on one of the wealthy Lowe daughters as a prime candidate, despite Tobias’ distinct horror at this notion.

  His dear friend Meg had been aware of his low spirits and so, as she was absent herself on a shopping expedition to a not-too-distant metropolis, she had sent her voluptuous companion-in-arms, Betty, in her stead to do a little cheering up. And what an uplifting experience that was!

  As the cart jogged along, Tobias re-lived the welcoming song and dance routine in Meg’s small sitting room, complete with a skimpy opera dancer’s outfit that Betty was almost falling out of to start with, even prior to his willing assistance.

  After a vigorous session right there in the parlor making good use of Meg’s overstuffed armchair, they then retired upstairs. Betty had led the way and was giggling ahead of Tobias. Her exposed plump buttocks jiggled as she mounted the steps before him, which was enough to revive Tobias’ spent energy. He shortly found such stamina was very much required.

  Once in the bedroom, Betty knelt on the bed, her skirts hitched up over her hips, bottom wiggling suggestively as she looked over her shoulder at him with her familiar encouraging leer. Tobias was not only captivated by the clear view of her fully exposed and ready feminine parts but also, due to her being half turned toward him, the sight of those gently swaying, deliciously overripe bre
asts. So entranced was he that Betty, with a slight edge in her tone, had to ask what he was waiting for.

  Taking himself in hand (both literally and metaphorically), Tobias rubbed teasingly up and down the cleft of that plump dimpled bum and then between those parted and rosy lips again and again, until Betty started to quiver with anticipation. At which point, still standing behind her inviting form, he slid into her willing depths.

  As he braced himself, holding her rounded hips and giving the lady the vigorous servicing that she expected, Tobias’ pleasure was furthered by their situation. A standing mirror in the corner of the room just happened to be angled in such a way to give a vista of Betty’s hectically swinging bosoms and her flushed face, her eyes closed in concentrated pleasure. At the vital moment, her eyes opened, fixing on his in the reflection of the glass, as she moaned something ecstatic and incoherent.

  Beaming like a drunken yokel, Tobias recalled that after a suitable interval with both parties collapsed over the bed to recover from such transports, they both revived sufficiently for a third go. This time, Betty was astride him again, still half-wearing her opera dancer’s outfit and rotating her hips in such a way that made his head (and other parts of him) explode.

  As the jolting conveyance approached Stratton, Tobias’ mood was so buoyant that he felt he could tackle half a dozen churchwardens and a legion of Lowes. Thankfully such a challenge was not required and having taken his leave of the grumpy carter, he arrived at the vicarage before full dark. There were no unwelcome visitors to challenge him nor any unwanted invitations lurking on the hall table.

  He retired to the study, lit the fire, and opened a good bottle of claret from his sparse supply to celebrate the euphoric events of the afternoon. Sitting in his comfortable chair he entertained himself for the entire evening, continuing to recall his heroic exploits yet again, with the same silly grin happily fixed upon his visage.

  * * * *

  Fortunately, as the week went on, his pastoral duties kept him too busy for any social calls that might lead to respectable, if not altogether willing, betrothal and he was too occupied even to spend much time with his churchwarden, which was a further blessing. Friday arrived in a flash and he was full of anticipation for a relaxed afternoon and evening at his friends the Glossops, where there would be both dinner and most likely some impromptu dancing.

  As their residence was between Stratton and Titterington, he had arranged to borrow a hack from the local stables to take him there and back. Being a steady creature, Tobias guessed the horse would automatically take him home even if he had over-imbibed of neighborly cordiality. There would be a nice mix of company, he thought as he dressed in his shabby but newly pressed evening wear.

  No doubt his relatives, the Canon and his wife would be there, together with other groups of family friends, including the Holbournes. He grinned at his reflection in the mirror as he thought of seeing the lovely Lucy again.

  Arriving at the Glossops’, he was full of good cheer and was warmly welcomed by his hosts and received a beaming smile from Lucy who was conversing at the other end of the drawing-room, which made his heart glad.

  He mingled sociably before the meal, the appetizing scents of which were filling the downstairs rooms. This made Tobias not only hungry but keenly aware that his hosts obviously had their housekeeper under better control than he did his. He did his duty happily, greeting and chatting with his kinsfolk and when seated for the meal, he was placed next to a neighbors’ son, of a similar age to him, which made the conversation at table even more informal and entertaining.

  Immediately after dinner, he understood there were to be games of chance and raffle tickets. Tobias was not the keenest of gamers, even for appearances’ sake. His family’s impecunious circumstances, plus his brother Tom’s one and only disastrous foray into high-stakes gambling was more than sufficient deterrent.

  He made his excuses politely and feeling sleepy after such an excellent repast, thought he’d find a quiet corner to digest quietly in time for the dancing later.

  However, as he ambled around the ground floor, he quickly discovered he was not the only one of the assembled party who preferred not to play cards. The rooms he found himself in were already occupied, the first by older gentlemen having an in-depth conversation about the state of the roads, which was too serious for his mood and full-stomach, and the second with ladies who did not want their tête-à-tête on the latest tidbits of local scandal to be interrupted by male company.

  Finally, he opened the door of a small back parlor, to find Lucy sitting all alone. She smiled warmly at him, putting down the book she had been perusing. To make it clear he was welcome, she patted the seat beside her on the overstuffed sofa, exclaiming, “Oh, Tobias! Just who I wanted to see!”

  They chatted amiably about mutual friends and the delicious meal for a few minutes. Then Lucy looked at him under her eyelashes, and with a mischievous expression, demurely asked, “I hear you had a recent and unexpected visitor?”

  Tobias knew full well that Lucy and his friend Meg had fast become friendly acquaintances and had exchanged gossip, so he guessed exactly to whom she was referring. So, he replied tantalisingly, “Oh, you mean Mama?”

  Lucy rapped him playfully over the knuckles with her fan. “I meant another person altogether, so stop teasing. Miss Meg has dropped some delightful hints and I can’t wait to hear the whole story!”

  Tobias thought swiftly. Well, as rapidly as someone who had just eaten a double portion of roast beef washed down with a glass or three of burgundy. Meg had informed Lucy of Madame Fontayne’s dramatic descent on the vicarage and Lucy knew Tom and his ways of old, so there could be no harm in telling her the expurgated version of Fifi’s visit. After all, he reasoned hazily, she had once been an engaged woman and was no simpering schoolroom miss.

  And so he began, his eager listener smiling next to him on the sofa, as he described Fifi’s commanding presence and demands on the vicarage’s meager resources. When he started describing his unwanted guest’s outrage at the lack of sophisticated social amenities in Stratton, Lucy started to giggle out loud.

  Encouraged by this, Tobias became a little more relaxed in what he recounted. With relish, he got to the description of Fifi’s impecunious escape from Leamington Priors, having been the guest of a commanding officer of Tom’s, who was so enjoying her spendthrift charms that he forgot his wife was coming to stay. By this point, Lucy was crying with laughter.

  “And so,” he concluded, “the officer was greeting his lady wife at the front door apparently in all innocence, while the servants were urgently bundling Fifi and all she could carry of her belongings through the back kitchen. A footman was stationed at the side of the house to give the all-clear to confirm when the officer’s spouse had entered the building so they could rush Fifi away out of her view. Fifi was enthralled by this military operation and thought it even more exciting than playing a villainess on the stage. She said she felt like a French spy, and if only she could have made her getaway with several guineas and a particularly fine candelabra she had her eye on, her happiness would have been complete.”

  Lucy was choking with merriment at this, waving her fan around erratically while trying to breathe. Tobias beamed at her, delighted that his tale had amused her so much and picking up her fan, began to waft it more effectively than she could until her giggles subsided into hiccups.

  When she could speak, Lucy said, wiping her eyes, “Miss Meg promised me it was a fine farrago, but that was more outrageous than I could have hoped for. What was Tom thinking of?”

  Remembering Fifi’s splendidly Amazonian figure, Tobias could take a pretty exact guess what his brother had in mind when encountering the majestic actress, but felt he had been indiscreet enough in recounting Fifi’s misadventures without stating the obvious.

  He just shrugged his shoulders and said equably, “You know what Tom’s like.”

  This evoked another chuckle and Tobias beamed back at her, the di
sastrous results of Fifi’s stay fading rapidly as a result of Lucy’s enjoyment of his stories. Encouraged, he continued with his anecdote and Meg’s part in Fifi’s departure from the vicarage. As he repeated Fifi’s denouncement of her host (in his best imitation of her theatrically withering tones) of having been rusticated with, “nothing for company but this vicar,” Lucy again had to reach for her handkerchief to brush away tears of hilarity.

  “I’m sorry to laugh, Tobias,” she apologized, “You tell it so amusingly, but what a thing to say! Anyone would be lucky to have you to keep them company,” she said, leaning toward him, smiling, placing her little hand on his.

  There was a second’s stillness then they leaned toward each other, mirth forgotten, and their lips met instinctively. When thinking about it later, Tobias could not be sure who instigated the kiss as it seemed entirely mutual. Their embrace deepened and Lucy seemed to melt into his arms as he held her close. With one hand he swept away the silky-soft ringlets from the delicate skin of her neck so his lips could embrace her sweet fragrance there too. Lucy had no objection to this and took an in-breath of delight, shuddering gently at his caresses.

  At this point in the proceedings, given the willingness of his partner, it seemed entirely natural for Tobias’ mouth to quest lower to explore the velvety skin of her bosom that was exposed by the fashionably low neckline. Lucy let out a mewling sound at this and so encouraged, Tobias quested below the filmy covering of the fichu and even and cupped her breast through the fabric of her dress.

  Although in a near-trance of enjoyment at being so intimate with someone he had amorous feelings toward, Tobias half-expected to be told to desist at any moment, given the lady and the circumstances.