FAME and GLORY

by K. T. Hastings

  “Where do you think he would go?” Janelle asked Brandee as they connected with Hwy. 199.

  “I don't have any idea. I'm thinking he will meet us in Eugene tonight.”

  “That will be about awkward, won't it?” Janelle said.

  Brandee nodded. “It will, but we have to work this out. However it goes down, we have to talk about it.”

  The girls rode without speaking for a number of minutes, each of them lost in thought. Finally, Janelle broke the silence.

  “Do we need to talk?”

  Brandee smiled ruefully. “I think we probably do.”

  Janelle spoke quietly, but with a good deal of emotion behind her question.

  “Are you sorry about us?”

  The silence that followed seemed like an eternity to Janelle. Finally Brandee answered.

  “No, I'm not. You opened up something in me that had been dark and empty. You brought me in touch with my spiritual side. That's very important to me now. You're very important to me now.”

  Janelle started to say something, but Brandee stopped her with a touch on her arm.

  “Wait, let me finish. Like I said, Jake and I have a lot to talk about, but maybe I need to get it all straight in my mind before we do. Maybe his leaving was a gift from the Creator Spirit, because this isn't the time to talk. That could be, I guess.

  “I need you in my life,” Janelle said simply.

  “I think I need you too. I'm a little jumbled right now, though. You have shown me something that I never had before. I'm so grateful to you for that. Jake is my husband. He's meant so much to me, too. What do I do with all of this?”

  Janelle stroked Brandee's cheek with the index finger of her left hand. Brandee's velvet skin gave way under Janelle's gentle touch. Brandee looked at her passenger out of the corner of her eye and smiled.

  Janelle tilted the passenger seat of the Sprinter back about halfway and leaned back to enjoy the scenery. Brandee had told her what she wanted to hear. Before Janelle realized it, she was asleep.

  ***

  Brandee heard Janelle's gentle snoring and looked over at her young lover. Part of her was glad that Janelle was asleep. It would give her time to think without Janelle asking, “What are you thinking?” every five minutes.

  Brandee regretted what she had just said to Janelle. At least, she regretted it a little. Brandee had told Janelle what she had wanted to hear, which wasn't usually Brandee's style. The fact was, Brandee was terribly confused and quite frightened.

  The relationship that had begun with Janelle was exciting and exotic and foreign. Brandee had never been with a woman before, and Janelle's young body was vibrant and alive. It felt different, smelled different, and reacted differently than Brandee's husband's body. Jake was an excellent lover, but they had been married for over three years now. Brandee knew Jake's moves in bed; she could anticipate him when they made love. However, Janelle was a writhing wildcat, and it made Brandee moist to think about it.

  What Brandee had said about Janelle showing her a spiritual path was true, too. Brandee loved that she was learning to meditate at a moment's notice. She was comforted by the feeling that maybe, just maybe, there was a meaning to life beyond herself.

  That left Jake. Brandee's love for Jake had nothing to do with what had happened in the last few days. She had meant it when she had shouted for Jake to stop when he was crossing the parking lot of the hotel. They had always been able to talk through their differences in the past, and, truth be told, she had missed the conversations that she hadn't been having with him on the road since Janelle had shown up.

  Granted, this “difference” was a hell of a lot bigger than the differences that she and Jake had suffered before, and she didn't know if there was a conversation bridge that could connect them this time. She knew that she wasn't ready to toss him overboard, but she also knew that, from a relationship standpoint, he may have jumped overboard on his own. That made her sad, but it was an emotion that she didn't think she could share with Janelle. Jake would probably be at the show in Eugene tonight, though. They could talk for hours after that, if he wanted to.

  ***

  Jake wasn't in Eugene. The members of Brandee had the concert stage to themselves and did their sound and light checks without extraneous conversation. Afterward, they checked into The Greentree Inn on Franklin Blvd and gathered en masse in Brandee's room.

  “We need to be let in on what's going on!” Suzi insisted, looking at Brandee. The guitarist had her hands balled into fists and placed against her hips as she spoke sternly to the singer.

  “It's like I told Bruce,” Brandee said calmly. “We had a fight. Jake walked out of the room and left the hotel.”

  ”Did you and Jake talk at all about what happened last night?” Bruce asked.

  “No. What about last night?”

  The performing members of the group looked at one another in astonishment. Suzi was the first to find her voice.

  “A guy from a record label talked to us. He's going to talk to us tonight too, because he wanted to talk to you. His company wants to sign us to a contract!”

  Brandee's mouth dropped open. She closed it and swallowed. Then it dropped open again. Finally, she swallowed again so she could speak.

  “What label?”

  “Arista Entertainment,” Diane said.

  “He talked to you guys after I left?” Brandee asked.

  Suzi shook her head in exasperation. Sometimes Brandee could be so dim. “Yes, after you went back to the hotel!”

  “Why didn't somebody come get me?”

  Bruce responded, “Jake wanted to, but Tom told us that he would talk to us again tonight after you had rested. He was really nice about it. We told him that you had gotten hurt and had been in the hospital.”

  Diane had given the name of the record company to Brandee, but other than that, she had been quiet. Something was starting to add up in her mind. Jake and Brandee hadn't talked about Tom Ferrari at all. That meant that something had happened when Jake first got back to the hotel. Or, she thought, Jake had walked into something and left the hotel before he had a chance to tell Brandee the big news. The drummer looked at Janelle, who was seated beside Brandee on the bed. Janelle's face was blank.

  Janelle didn't notice Diane's examining look. She was taking in the news about Tom Ferrari, and trying to figure out what it meant for her. Did it make it more likely or less likely that Brandee would leave Jake for her? Jake didn't perform, and if the group had a label backing them, Jake's semi-managerial leadership wouldn't be so necessary. She decided that the news was a net positive for her, and hugged Brandee from the side.

  “That's great news, Brandee! I'm so proud of you!”

  Brandee absentmindedly leaned away from Janelle's hug. As much as she had hoped in the car that Jake would show up and be waiting for her in Eugene, that hope was even greater now. This was going to be her big break, and she suddenly realized that she wanted to share it with Jake.

  Brandee spoke to the group. “Maybe he'll be at the fairgrounds tonight. I hope so! If he's not, we can talk about what to do then.”

  Diane, Bruce, and Suzi then left the room. There was much about which they wanted to question Brandee, but tonight would be soon enough. Maybe she was right. Perhaps Jake would show up backstage at the fairgrounds tonight.

  It wasn't lost on Janelle that Brandee had said that she hoped Jake would be there tonight. After the musicians had left, she thought that she and Brandee should talk about that, but she didn't get the chance to broach the subject.

  “Janelle, why don't you head for your own room for now? I'm pretty tired, and this is when I take a power nap and drink sparkling water to get ready for the show. I'll come down and get you when it's time to go.”

  Janelle nodded silently. She leaned over and kissed Brandee before heading down the hall. Brandee returned the kiss, but not as enthusiastically as Janelle would have liked.

  ***

  Tom Ferrari introduced himself t
o Brandee before the beginning of the show that night. True to form, he wore a pair of Italian loafers, a dress shirt, and a tie, making him stand out in the County Fair crowd. Brandee guessed who he was before he held out his hand.

  “The pleasure is mine, Mr. Ferrari.”

  He laughed. “You people are unfailingly polite, aren't you? It's kind of refreshing after some of the groups that I work with. Call me Tom, and I'll call you Brandee. Deal?”

  “Deal,” Brandee answered, flashing him the smile that had launched a thousand fantasies when she used it onstage. This man was the key to her success.

  “Break a leg out there, and we'll talk later. Where's your husband?”

  Brandee waved vaguely in the direction of the crowd milling around the fairgrounds. “I can't keep track of him.”

  Tom left her alone in her dressing area, and Brandee's face lost its smile. Where, indeed, was her husband?

  Brandee was the consummate professional group that night. They opened with “Your Ass is Mine”, and followed it up with “Brazen”. Both songs lit a fire under the appreciative county fair crowd. They slowed the pace down with “Violet Eyes”, a ballad that Brandee sang almost a cappella, with only the soft sound of Diane's brushes accompanying her.

  While Brandee was crooning “Violet Eyes”, Diane wondered just whose eyes Brandee was imagining, or if she was imagining anyone at all except for herself.

  The group had decided that afternoon to use the wind machine on “Kneel Before You”, and skip “I Will Always Love You”. Brandee writhed under the wind machine in the first song after Suzi's guitar solo. Under half closed lids, she found Tom Ferrari about a third of the way back on her left, and undulated for him throughout the sexy song.

  “She's a pro,” Bruce thought. “I'll give her that.”

  After the show in Eugene, Brandee and the rest of the group met with Tom Ferrari. He reiterated to Brandee what he had said to the rest of the group the night before. Brandee took some notes and thanked him for his time. She said that the group would talk about it and get back to him in just a few days. After handshakes all around, Tom left, wondering about the subdued nature of the group. It was quite a contrast to how they had acted in Crescent City.

  Back at the Greentree, the group gathered for another meeting in Brandee's room, and the three-year contract with Arista was not on the agenda.

  “I'm scared for Jake, and I would think you would be too,” Suzi said, with an accusatory stare at Brandee.

  “Get off your pulpit and help me think,” Brandee said. “I'm worried, too. I thought for sure he would be here sometime today.”

  Diane sat down on the bed beside Brandee, moving Janelle out of the way with her hip, and put her hand on Brandee's. “It's none of our business what you and Jake said to each other to bring things to this point. It is our business, though, if Jake is in some kind of trouble... or some kind of danger. You do understand that.”

  “I know,” Brandee said. “It just doesn't do any good to have Suzi glaring at me every time I look at her. I wish I knew where he was every bit as much as you guys do. More, really.”

  Diane patted Brandee's hand. “Can you think of anywhere that he might go or anybody that he might talk to?”

  “The only person that I can think of is his sister.”

  “Rebecca? Up in Tacoma?”

  Brandee nodded. “He calls her Becks. I can't think of anyone else.”

  “Do you know her last name?”

  Brandee reached for her purse. It had addresses and phone numbers of emergency contacts among its many other items. After a search, she held up a small black book. She riffled through it before saying, “Here it is. Her last name is Flurringer.”

  Diane spoke gently to Brandee. “Good job. Don't you think you should call her?”

  Brandee nodded and dialed the number that was written down for “Rebecca Flurringer.”

  ***

  Rebecca knew that there was trouble in the Evans camp before Brandee called since she had spoken to her brother a couple of hours earlier. Jake's bus had stopped in Portland, Oregon for a meal stop and to swap out drivers. Jake still couldn't eat, but he had used the stop to call Rebecca. She had, at first, been thrilled to hear from her brother.

  “Jake! What a nice surprise! How are you?”

  “I'm not good, Becks.”

  “Are you all right, Jake? Is Brandee all right? What's going on?”

  “It's not good, Becks. It's not good at all,” Jake said. It was all that he could get out before starting to cry again. He had thought that he had spilled all of his tears on the bus, but that didn't turn out to be the case. Hearing his sister's concerned voice started the flow all over again.

  “Oh Jacob, I'm so sorry. What happened?”

  “Can I come see you?”

  “Of course you can. Where are you? When will you be here?”

  “I'm in Portland right now. I'll be there in about three hours.”

  “Okay, honey. Is Brandee with you?”

  “I'm alone.”

  “Okay. You're not alone, though. God is with you, and so am I.”

  “I'm alone.”

  “I'll pick you up at the bus station, Jake. I love you.”

  Jake hung up and re-boarded the bus. Part of him wished that he hadn't called Rebecca at all. As soon as he had asked if he could come see her, he wished that he could take the words back. He wasn't interested in hearing her tell him that God had a plan for him and wouldn't give him a burden that he couldn't carry. He knew that she would say things like that, and mean well, but she didn't understand what Jake was going through. No one could. Jake thought that maybe he would get off the bus at the next stop, call her back, and say that he wasn't coming after all.

  He might have done just that if he had been awake at the next stop. He had fallen into a fitful sleep just outside of Portland and hadn't awakened until the driver shook his shoulder at the stop in Olympia, Washington.

  “Next stop, buddy. Tacoma.”

  ***

  Rebecca was friendly to Brandee when the singer called. Goodness knows, I don't know the story, she thought as she heard Brandee identify herself.

  “Rebecca? This is Brandee, Jake's wife.”

  “Hello Brandee. How are you, dear?”

  “I'm okay. Have you heard from Jake in the last day or so?”

  “As a matter of fact, I heard from him just a little while ago.”

  “Did he say where he was?”

  “He's on a bus that will be here in about a half hour.”

  Brandee covered the mouthpiece of her phone and spoke to the members of the band.

  “He's on his way to Tacoma.”

  The musicians let out a collective breath. At least they knew where Jake was. It wasn't the same as him showing up to be with them, but it was something. Brandee resumed her conversation with Rebecca.

  “When he gets there, will you tell him that we'll be up there tomorrow? We'l--”

  That was as far as she got before Suzi stepped forward and forcibly yanked the phone from Brandee's hand, scratching the singer in the process.

  “Rebecca, My name is Suzi Limbaugh! I'm your brother's friend. Tell Jake that we'll be up there tonight. We're leaving in five minutes!”

  “I'll do that Suzi,” Rebecca said. “Where are you now?”

  “We're in Eugene, Oregon.”

  “Okay Suzi. It's about a five hour drive. I'll see you at--”

  “We'll be there in four hours, Rebecca. Thank you. Give Jake our love.”

  Suzi tossed the phone back to Brandee and turned to the rest of the group. “Let's go, gang. Pack your gear.”

  ***

  Jake got off the bus at The Tacoma Dome bus terminal shortly after his sister had hung up from her call with Brandee. Rebecca hugged Jake tightly. He returned her hug and gave one to his nephew, Jason, who at three years old had been too young for Rebecca to leave at the house. There wasn’t much feeling behind his hugs.

  “Do you have a b
ag?” she said to Jake.

  “I don't have anything.”

  “Okay, then. Let's go back to the house.”