The Vampire Awakenings Bundle: Books 1-5

by Davies, Brenda K.

  "Yes, I promise. We all promise, right?"

  "Yes," they answered.

  "It really won't hurt them? Are you sure?"

  "I am absolutely positive."

  Sera's lip trembled as her head fell forward and tears spilled down her cheeks to wet his hands. He pulled her against him as she cried silently into his shirt. He closed his eyes against the anguish filling him.

  "Go do it," he ordered in a hoarse voice.

  It took all he had to keep Sera standing.

  "We need to talk about something else first," David said.

  Liam ground his teeth. "I think it can wait!"

  David looked at Sera and then back at him. "No, Liam, it can't."

  "David," Mike warned.

  "Mike, this cannot wait. You're losing it, aren't you? Losing control of your ability to keep the demon at bay?" His gaze focused on Liam.

  Liam stared back at him relentlessly. "Yes."

  David ran his hand through his wet hair. "I thought so."

  Sera pulled away and tilted her head back to stare at him. His jaw clenched, and his eyes gleamed dangerously as his nostrils flared. "Liam?" she asked questioningly.

  He glanced down at her before looking away, but she’d already seen the torment in his eyes. Her hands clenched on his shirt. She’d known he was struggling to be around her, but she hadn't realized how bad it was until right now. She had pushed him yesterday; she had completely ignored his need to get away from her, in her own need to be close to him. She was doing this to him. She felt like the most horrible person in the world.

  She took a step away from him, but he grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her back.

  "No," he said so quietly she knew no one else had heard him.

  "But—"

  "I said no!" his eyes flamed with fire as his jaw clenched.

  "But it's because of me!" she protested as she squirmed to get out his embrace. His hands clenched on her. She winced in response, and he immediately eased his grip. "It is, isn't it?"

  "Yes." It was David who answered her. Sera stopped struggling as she turned to look at him. David's eyes were pitying before he looked at Liam. "You've tasted her?" Liam nodded sharply. "And she tasted you?"

  Sera's face flamed hotly.

  "Yes," Liam grated.

  "But she's not one of us," Doug stated.

  Sera felt herself turning redder as she realized they knew everything. "No, she's not," David said. "That's the problem."

  "What is that supposed to mean?" Liam spat. His body trembled; his arms locked around her were as taut as a bowstring.

  "I met some of our kind in Pennsylvania—" David started.

  "How did you know they were our kind?" Jack interrupted.

  David shot him an aggravated look. "Like knows like," he explained hastily. "You'll see when you meet others. Trust me." His gaze returned to Liam and Sera. "After I talked to you, I went and asked them about our relationships with humans. We aren’t meant to be with them, not seriously anyway."

  "They told you this?" Liam demanded.

  "Yes. You have marked her as yours, Liam. When you let her feed on you, she became a part of you, and vice versa."

  "Beth did the same thing!" Liam seethed.

  "It's not the same, Liam, and you know it! You never loved Beth, but you love Sera, and the thing inside of you needs her to be with you, forever. When we fall in love something happens, something changes. Inside, we are savage, and we need to mark our mates. You will kill anyone who hurts her; you will kill us."

  "So he says," Mike muttered.

  "So he will," David said firmly. "You'll also destroy her."

  "No, he won't!" Sera cried.

  David's eyes were sympathetic as they met hers. "Yes, he will. He will turn you. He's fighting it now, but he will. He can't let you go Sera, not in any way. The demon inside him senses the mortality in you, the frailty of your life, and it will not have it."

  "Then I'll let her go," Liam said even as his arms tightened upon her waist.

  "No!" Sera was horrified and broken at the mere thought.

  "Sera—"

  "You can't," David said flatly.

  "Of course I can," Liam insisted.

  "No, you can't!" Sera denied.

  "No, he can't," David reasserted vehemently. "Don't give me that look; you can't, Liam. Even now, while you're saying the words, you're changing."

  Sera twisted to look up at him. He diverted his head, but not before she caught a glimpse of red eyes and elongated teeth. "Liam," she whispered as she touched his cheek.

  He took her hand and pulled it away from his face. "Don't!"

  Tears welled in her eyes, but she withdrew her hand from him. She could feel him trying to put a wall between them, and she didn't know how to stop it. He was determined to keep her away from him.

  "Look," David said. "I'm going to tell you what they told me about this. First of all, you can't let her go. We don't often find our mates, in fact, the two vampires I met are over two hundred years old, and they've never found theirs. From what they’ve been told, once we find our mates, if they are human, then all control for the vampire is lost. What you're going through now, Liam, is nothing. It will only get worse until you make her yours in every way. If you send her away, you will go insane; you will become a threat to everyone around you. She is the only thing keeping you from losing your sanity now.

  "Simply put, you can't let her go, and she can't stay human."

  "What about Beth?" Liam demanded. "We exchanged blood."

  "You didn't give two shits about Beth, and no matter how much she fancies herself in love with you, she's not. She's obsessed with you because you didn't want her. You never had a problem with walking away from Beth, but I bet going for that walk today almost drove you crazy, didn't it?"

  Liam refused to answer the question. "I thought so," David continued. "Our mates are ours. We know them when we find them, if we find them. It's instantaneous. You might not have recognized it at first, but if you look back over everything, I'm sure you realize it now, right?"

  Liam's resentment at David's words was growing by the second. However, he was right. Every minute he spent away from her today was horrendous, and he desperately needed to get back to her. The beast within him was clawing to emerge every second they were apart. It was only the knowledge Mike and Doug would keep her safe, and he needed to find Beth to ensure Sera stayed that way, that kept him going.

  David was also right about Liam not being able to leave her. His need to get her away from him, before he injured her, was nowhere near as strong as his urge to drag her from the room and take possession of her in every way possible. One thing was for sure, his need for her was growing, while his control was weakening.

  He took a deep breath and met David's intense gaze. David was also right about another thing. From the beginning, he needed to speak to Sera, gone out of his way to meet her. He told himself to stay away from her, yet he hadn't been able to do so. So far, David was right about everything, and Liam was certain this conversation wasn’t going to end well.

  "He was going to let me leave his room," Sera said. "After he told me what he was, and I was terrified. He was going to let me go."

  David contemplated that for a minute. "He may have said that; he may have even let you walk out, but I can guarantee you wouldn't have gotten far, and he wouldn't have let you go for long. You went back to him?"

  "I didn't make it out the door."

  "Listen to me, Liam, she's not even one of us, and she's already possessive of you. Your blood has started making changes in her also."

  "He hadn't bitten me then!" Sera cried.

  "That doesn't matter. A part of you recognized him. You have instincts, Sera; they knew you were meant to be together. That you are soul mates. If you left that room, he would have come for you, and I don't think you would have put up much of a fight."

  Sera lowered her head. "No," she admitted in a whisper. "I wouldn't have."

  "Hi
s biting you did not precipitate this, it only sped things up a little. He's tasted you, he wants you, and he will change you. His blood in your veins marks you as his. If he had changed you, then we would be able to smell him on you, always." David's eyes shot back to Liam. "You want us, and our kind, to know she is yours. It’s our kind who you think are the most dangerous to her."

  "I can control this," Liam grated. "I can fight this."

  "No Liam, you can't fight this forever. You will not allow her to die a mortal death; you won't even be able to tolerate the risk of losing her for much longer. It will not happen. Look, if we never find a mate, then it doesn't matter. They said there is a vampire who is almost a thousand years old and has never found his. You have already killed for her, Liam. You have never lost control like that before, and you will lose it again. If she dies, then you die. You will either go insane, be destroyed, or you will kill yourself."

  Sera didn't speak as she absorbed everything David was saying. If she died, then Liam died. If she stayed with him, then he wouldn't allow her to be human. It was all too much to grasp right now. Suddenly, she didn't feel so good. Liam's arms tensed around her as he supported most of her weight. "So what are you saying?" Liam demanded.

  "She can't stay mortal. Instinctively, you will not allow it, and as long as you keep fighting it, the people around you are in danger. Including her."

  "I am completely capable of controlling myself. I only killed Jacob because of what he was doing to her!" he hissed.

  Sera shivered as she huddled deeper into Liam's embrace. "And when you lose control again, what then?"

  "It won't happen."

  But it would, Sera knew it would. She could feel it in him. She had seen it come over his face many times in the past few days. Saw it today, when he'd come upon them in the snow. Saw it yesterday when Jack had been holding her shoulders. Saw it when they were in the shower. He would go after them, and it would be her fault. But what could she do? She couldn't become one of them; she just couldn't. She couldn't drink blood, and she couldn't be a monster. She didn't even eat meat! She would have to give up her hopes of a home, and a family.

  Sera closed her eyes as anguish tore through her. What good would a home, or a family, be if she wasn't with Liam?

  "It will happen Liam, and it will probably happen with her."

  Sera's eyes flew back open as her heart lurched into her throat. "He won't hurt me!" she choked out.

  "He will change you. There is no chance he won't. It's only a matter of when he will, and from the looks of him, I would say it is going to be very soon."

  Sera shuddered as revulsion ripped through her.

  "That is not true," Liam grated.

  "Yes, it is. Now the only question is, will she be willing, or will you force it on her?"

  Four sets of utterly inhuman and savage eyes turned toward her in the candlelight. Liam's arms tightened around her. She was terrified to look at him, completely terrified of everything happening.

  "Well, Sera, what will it be?" David asked.

  A choked cry escaped her as her legs buckled. Liam swung her easily up. His jaw clenched, and his eyes were burning orbs of hopelessness as they flashed from red to green and back again.

  "Take care of those two," he ordered, as he strode across the kitchen.

  "Liam, what I said is true," David said.

  He paused in the doorway to look back at him. "I know."

  Sera dropped her head against his chest and began to sob softly.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Liam sat on the bed and cradled her in his lap. He held her tenderly, allowing her to sob out her sorrow as he kept his head buried in her hair. He could smell her blood, hear her heartbeat, but it didn't arouse the beast in him now. The monster within seemed to be effectively buried by the sorrow racking her.

  He stroked her long golden hair that was still damp from the snow. Reaching behind him, he pulled one of the blankets forward and wrapped it around her as he rubbed her arms to warm her even more.

  Minutes ticked by endlessly. Eventually, her tears dried as she lay trembling against him. He noticed how small and frail she was as he shifted his hold on her. At the thought, he felt the demon surge forth. Closing his eyes, he willed it to go away. Now was not the time or the place. She needed him now.

  "Feeling better?" he asked.

  She shook her head and buried herself within the blanket. He pulled it away from her face and caressed her tear-stained cheek as she lifted her chin to look at him. Her eyes were a vibrant violet, even though they were bloodshot and swollen from her tears. Her lower lip still trembled a little.

  A wave of protectiveness washed through him. He hated to see her cry, and it was his fault she was crying now. Everything was his fault. "Damn!" he shouted. "I'm sorry, Sera. I am so very sorry."

  Her lids dropped down; her long, gold-tipped lashes were wet as they shadowed her pale cheeks. "It's all true, isn't it?" she whispered.

  His hands convulsed on her. He wanted to tell her David was wrong, that no matter what he could control himself around her. But he promised her he would never lie to her again, and he knew David was right. He was controlling himself now, but only because of her tears. He was aware that one of these days he would snap, and it would be soon.

  "Yes, I think it is. If I had known, I would have left you alone," he grated hoarsely. "I would have stopped myself from seeing you. I would have left the country, the continent if necessary. I would have done whatever it took not to inflict this on you, Sera. But I can't now. I just can't."

  The torment in his voice tore at her heart, ripped through her soul, but she was so scared and confused. She knew he would have left her before things had gotten this far, but she also knew if he had left, if she had never seen him again, she would have always been empty without him. He would have haunted her dreams, and she knew somehow she would have found him again.

  "I would have found you," she whispered.

  He released a small groan. "Sera—"

  "No, Liam, I would. If you hadn't come back for me, I would have found you. I love you."

  "I would have left before it ever came to that."

  "I've loved you from the beginning. I loved you before I met you," she told him as a dawning realization came over her. "I was ready with Jacob."

  His hands convulsed on her. She turned to him knowing already the demon was there. His face was strained as he fought to bring it under control.

  "But, I began to panic,” she said. “It suddenly felt wrong; it felt awful. I was waiting for you. Somehow, even then, I knew you were out there."

  He fought to control his temper. The thought of what Jacob did to her made him wish the bastard was still alive so he could kill him again. A shudder ripped through him, and he almost bellowed from the rage encompassing him.

  A butterfly touch on his cheek drew his eyes open. She stared at him with a mixture of trepidation and love so powerful it shook him.

  "I was waiting for you," she whispered again.

  Something inside him broke. He hauled her against him, holding her as close to him as he could. It wasn't close enough. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed herself against him. "What have I done?" he groaned.

  Her hands clenched upon him as tears spilled free again. She could feel the distress and self-loathing radiating from him. "I love you, Liam. I love you so much it hurts." Her voice was choked with sobs as she clung to him.

  His hands were bruising as they dug into her. She winced but didn't make a sound. She could feel his desperation, he needed her, and she wasn't going to let him down. "I don't deserve you."

  She laughed as she buried her face in his neck. Her tears wet his skin, but they were no longer tears of grief for herself, but for him. "Yes, you do. I can't live without you. I can't even breathe when I think about the possibility. If this is what was meant to be, then that's fine. I would let you change me anyway; it might have taken me a little longer to come to it. But this is all right, L
iam. It is."

  "Sera," he moaned.

  "It's all right."

  She pulled away from him and tilted her head so she could gaze into his tortured face. She pulled her hair away from the wounds in her neck. His eyes gleamed as they fastened upon her wounds and his teeth instantly elongated. He closed his eyes, his face twisted with anguish as he fought to bring the demon under control.

  "I can't, Sera."

  "Liam, it's all right. I want this," she assured him.

  "Not tonight. You'll need blood right after. Unless you want to feed off Danielle and Kathleen, I can't."

  Sera froze as that thought hit her. Blood, she would have to drink blood. An involuntary shudder of revulsion ripped through her. He pulled her hair back over the marks before they tempted him even further.

  "Blood." She was unable to hide the disgust from her voice.

  "I can feed you, Sera. You need never feed off anyone but me if that is what you want." That was what he wanted. The thought of her even going near someone else twisted his stomach and brought forth a rush of violence.

  "Not my friends," she whispered. "Not them."

  "No, never them. I promise. But until I can find someone else, this cannot happen."

  She dropped her head to his chest and yawned. He lifted her easily as he stood. Pulling the remaining blankets back, he laid her on the bed. He thought about undressing her but firmly decided against it. The thought of her naked body hardened him. The sight of her naked body would push him over the edge, and all common sense would go out the window.

  He could not be with her again until he was ready to change her. She smiled sleepily at him and raised her arms. He climbed in beside her and gathered her into his arms. He closed his eyes as a wave of contentment stole through him. The beast was at bay. She was going to be his, and nothing would ever change that.

  * * *

  Sera woke with a start. The night closed in around her as she strained to see anything. She stretched out a hand and felt Liam's solid figure. It reassured her, but she couldn't get rid of the dread creeping through her belly. She sat up and tossed the blanket aside as she walked over to the window.