“Declan—”
“The world may never know as it’s never been done before, as far as I know. From what I understand, it’s an irresistible draw that only grows stronger until the bond is completed. If you’re asking these questions, I’m guessing you’re thinking you’ve been shot. It hasn’t even been two days since you left us, and you’re already calling me about this mystery woman possibly being your mate. That tells me there’s a definite connection. It’s not going to get easier. Do yourself a favor, get laid and enjoy the ride. It’s sure been long enough since you got yourself some.”
“That’s not going to happen,” he grated through his teeth, more annoyed Declan had talked so flippantly about Abby than the knowledge Declan already believed him defeated.
“By the way, when was the last time you had sex?”
Brian walked over to the bed and back toward the door as he mulled Declan’s question. He barely recalled the woman or the encounter, but it had been before he’d gone to Stefan for help, before he’d seen Abby in that hotel room. His breath rushed out of him when he realized it had been nearly seven years.
He’d often gone for extended periods without sex over the years. He hated the guilty feeling of having betrayed Vivian that always accompanied the act. He’d put it off for as long as he could until his body was consumed with the demand to feel a woman once more. When the sex was over, he would be filled with a sense of betrayal strong enough that he would go for years without it again before he turned to another once more.
It had been a constant cycle of self-hatred and desperation, but he’d never gone seven years before. Often he went three or four, once he’d gone five, but he hadn’t even realized that seven years had passed since the last time. He may have felt no instantaneous connection with Abby in that hotel room, but if she was his mate, something in him had recognized something in her as such. All signs were beginning to point in the direction of the two of them being linked in some way.
His lengthy periods of abstinence were something he kept hidden from others, even Stefan hadn’t realized that many of the women who had thrown themselves at him over the years had never made it to his bed. He’d never wanted anyone to know about this lingering, emotional hang-up. It wasn’t something someone could exploit, but he’d always seen it as a personal weakness, and weakness had no place in his line of work.
He should have known Declan would have figured it out or at least sensed something off about the way he was with women.
“Fuck,” he hissed.
“I already suggested that,” Declan replied with a laugh.
Brian’s teeth grated at his casual response. “Did you suspect I had somehow found my mate before this call?”
“I suspect many things and know nothing for certain.”
So true and extremely frustrating for Declan to have to go through life like that, Brian realized. “This can’t happen, not with her.”
“And who is she?”
“No one you know.” It wasn’t a lie. Declan and Aiden had met, but he’d never seen Abigail. “If she is my mate, I will not allow the bond between us to be sealed.”
“This will be interesting. Make sure to call me with updates on your progressing insanity. I’ll be eagerly awaiting the news.”
“Asshole.”
Brian hung up the phone on Declan’s laughter. On the other side of the door, he heard the shower turn off. Drawn irresistibly back toward the door, he rested his hand against it and inhaled the scent of her shampoo on the air. A low groan escaped him when he also caught the musky and compelling scent of her arousal.
What he wouldn’t give to be the one to ease her.
He forced himself away from the door and over to the bed. Sinking onto the mattress, he scrubbed at his face with his hands as he contemplated Declan’s words. Maybe no one had resisted the bond before, but he would, he had to. If he didn’t, he would only end up destroying them both.
Chapter Twelve
Five days later, Abby was beginning to realize two things. One, Brian was a super dick, and two, they may never find her sister. Neither one of those things made her feel good at all about where she was now. She’d thrown herself into the search for Vicky, but every new lead smacked into a dead end. Her self-confidence was taking a pounding as Brian grew more and more distant and she continued to dream of him. She woke every night on the verge of tears as her body clamored for someone who didn’t want it.
Now, sitting on the park bench and absently throwing birdseed to the ducks, she felt as if she’d been run over by a truck, then backed over and parked on. Her eyes were heavy with sleep; her shoulders hunched forward as she tried to think of some other way to find Vicky and get Brian out of her life. One of those two things had to happen soon, before she completely fell apart.
A shadow fell over her, blocking the warm afternoon sun creeping toward the horizon. She didn’t have to look up to know who it was; her skin prickled at his closeness and her awareness of his body. Shading her eyes against the halo of illumination surrounding Brian, she tilted her head back to look at him as he towered over her.
The scowl on his face would have made a mortal piss themselves and a vamp run; she glared back at him. She was as annoyed with him for interrupting her time here as he was with her for whatever new reason he had.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
She glanced at the bird food in her hand. “Planting magic seeds in the hopes of finding the golden egg,” she retorted.
A muscle near his right eye twitched as he folded his arms over his chest and braced his feet further apart. “You never should have left the hotel without telling me you were going,” he shot back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed permission to walk about. Are women not allowed to do such things?”
The thunderous expression on his face caused a man walking his dog to steer five feet off the path away from them. One of the ducks walked up and took some of the seed from her palm, not at all deterred by the six-foot vampire standing before her. She tossed another handful to the ground before focusing on the lake across from her. The sunlight shone on its blue surface as the mellow breeze caused ripples to skim across the water.
“It’s not safe for you to be out here alone,” he said.
“Yeah, it’s the attack of the killer ducks,” she muttered and tossed another handful of feed to them.
“I’m not talking about ducks! There are plenty of other risks out here.”
“I am perfectly capable of defending myself against a human.”
“There are worse things in this world than humans,” he said, stepping closer to her but not close enough to touch. He hadn’t touched her since he’d almost kissed her the other night. He made her feel like the kid on the playground with cooties, and she hated him for it.
“No vampire, who is a killer, is going to be out in the daylight. In case you forgot, they can’t tolerate the sun.”
“I know exactly what kind of an impact the sun has on a vampire who has killed humans. It has been years since I killed those two human hunters, and the sun still burns my skin faster than before. I feel it to this day. I am also a murderer, but I walk about in the day.”
She crumpled the empty bag of bird feed and sat back on the bench. She fought against the annoying part of her that insisted on believing he was a good man and not an overbearing ass. However, he’d plucked at her sympathy when he’d admitted he still felt the effects of the sun’s rays.
“The vampires who have killed more humans than you and who do it for enjoyment and sport wouldn’t be able to be here right now,” she reasoned.
“Or they could just be getting started in their career as a killer, and you would be one appealing prize. You’re not to be on your own.”
“You’re not to command me! How did you find me anyway?”
“Have you forgotten the reason you contacted me in the first place?” he inquired.
“I thought you couldn’t pinpoint someone in a city so big.”
“You’re different.”
Just one more reason for me to believe you are something more to me. Something I can never have, he realized as her eyes blazed with red fire.
“And why is that?” she demanded.
“I don’t know.” Liar. “I followed your scent. We’re not far from the hotel.” Bullshit. He may have been able to follow her scent here, but her soul had been a powerful beacon, drawing him in from the second he’d realized she’d left the hotel.
“Oh,” she muttered.
Had disappointment fluttered across her face, or was he just hoping it had? He took a step away from her, needing to put some distance between them. She didn’t appear to notice as her gaze drifted back to the lake and the ducks waddling toward it. Wiping her hands on her jeans, she rose to her feet.
It hadn’t mattered where they’d gone over the past few nights, she’d worn jeans and a sweater. Somehow, even in the absence of seeing her belly button ring, he now found her more modest clothing more enticing than her skimpy outfit and boots from the night they’d visited Dracul.
She didn’t look at him as she strolled across the park, her blonde hair blowing back from her face as she walked. A male nearly walked into a light post when he turned to watch her go by. Brian shot the man a fulminating look as he hurried to catch up with her. No, Abby may not be as perfectly beautiful as her older sister and mother were, but there was something entirely captivating about her round face, curvaceous figure, and emerald eyes.
He wanted to tear the head off every guy who lusted after her. He’d only killed two humans in his life, but by the time he was finally able to free himself from this woman, he may slaughter dozens more. The man hurried away as Brian caught up to walk by her side.
He couldn’t trust himself to grab her elbow and jerk her to a halt. Touching her again may push him over the edge, and he’d end up dragging her back to his room to stake his claim on her.
“Where are you going?” he demanded.
She waved her hand at him as if he were an annoying fly she was trying to slap away. “For a walk.”
He thought his teeth might shatter when he clamped them together. “Not on your own.”
“I didn’t ask for your company.”
“I don’t care what you asked for!”
She whirled on him and thrust her finger in his face. “And I don’t care that you’ve appointed yourself my stand-in brother. I already have five of them, I don’t need another one!”
Some people turned to stare at them when he stepped closer to her, trying to force her to take a step back, but she resiliently held her ground. “I am going to keep you safe.”
All of her frustration, resentment, terror, and exhaustion since Vicky had taken off and Brian had been thrust into the center of her life boiled to the surface. “Oh, screw you!”
She saw the unraveling within him at the same time the vast wave of power he emitted shot through the air and blasted against her skin. He grabbed hold of her finger. It didn’t matter his hand tightened around it, or that fury radiated from him, a shiver of relief went through her at the feel of his skin against hers.
Finally, she breathed inwardly and immediately hated herself for it.
His eyes flickered from blue to red and back again as he stepped into her and backed her against a tree. Abby’s heart hammered in her chest, her breath came in shallow pants as she labored to get air into her lungs. She tugged her finger free of his grasp, but when she went to turn away from him, he set his hands on her hips and jerked her back.
“Believe me,” he grated as his body leaned into hers. “There is nothing familial in my thoughts about you.”
A whimper escaped her when he rubbed the hard length of his erection against her to prove his point. His fingers slid over her hips, skimming up to the bottom of her sweater as his eyes continued to flicker between red and blue.
“If you had any common sense, you’d run screaming, Abigail.”
Run screaming? All she wanted was to unbutton his jeans and run her fingers over the hard length pressing against her. Her head fell back when his fingers found the bare flesh of her stomach and slid over her skin to rest against her back.
“If your brothers had any idea about what I dream of doing to you, they’d kill me.” His eyes fastened on her breasts. “How I think of tasting you, savoring your body…”
His words trailed off as his hand slid down to cup her ass and draw her more firmly against him. He’d maneuvered himself so he now pushed tantalizingly against her core, that place where she ached for him most. Heat spread between her legs, and wetness grew as he rubbed against her again and squeezed her ass.
“To sink myself deep within you and make you forget every other man before me.”
She opened her mouth to tell him there were no other men, but all that came out was a low moan as liquid lightening sizzled through her body when he ground against her again.
His breath tickled her cheek and ear as he continued to speak. “To sink my fangs into your neck as I thrust inside of you.”
Her fingers dug into the bark of the tree as her heaving breaths brought her chest into contact with his. She wanted to grab hold of him, but she forced herself not to do it. She may be a panting mess right now, but at least she wasn’t attacking him physically.
His eyes burned into hers as he watched her. Like a teenage boy feeling up his first girl, he was close to spilling in his pants right now. Close to tearing her jeans off and sinking himself into her in the middle of this park. “Would you let me fuck you, Abby?” he inquired.
Yes! Words failed her when his lips brushed over her neck in a heated caress that had bits of bark breaking off beneath her fingers. When he pulled away from her, his eyes glistened with fire and his fangs peaked out from beneath his upper lip. Those fangs only served to arouse her further, something she hadn’t believed possible.
His fingers slid over her cheek to clasp her neck. Her breath froze, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his lips when they dipped toward hers. If he pulled away from her again, she might kill him. If he pulled away again, she would forever hate herself for this weakness she had for him.
Tilting her head, she stared at him as his eyes searched her face with an anguished expression. She should step away from him. She should be the one to turn him away this time, not to get back at him for how discarded he’d made her feel the other night, but because she obviously confused and distressed him. The last thing she wanted was to bring anymore torment into his life.
Releasing the tree, she rested her fingers against his cheek. The bristly stubble lining his jaw tickled her fingers. He was all she wanted, but she didn’t think it would ever be possible. Her hand slipped down his cheek and toward her side. He snatched hold of it and pressed it against his face once more. His distress had slipped away to be replaced with a look of resolution and yearning that robbed her of her breath.
Before she could pull away from him, he jerked her against him, threaded his fingers through her hair, and pulled her head back. Abby gasped when his mouth slanted over hers in a demanding, claiming way that seared into her soul. Her legs nearly gave out, and her hips bucked against his. He growled low in his throat when the movement caused her to grind against him in a way that sent a firestorm of pleasure shooting through her.
The heady, sweet taste of her enveloped all of his senses. He didn’t care he’d vowed to keep his distance from her, didn’t care if he would destroy her or bring danger to her life. He’d denied himself this for too long. He had to taste her, to feel and devour her. Her lips were a brand against his.
She was liquid heat and honey all rolled into one, and he knew he would never forget the taste of her. Her lips opened beneath his probing tongue; her breath filled his mouth as he slid his tongue in to taste her. He kissed her so deeply he didn’t know if it was her breath or his flowing into his lungs. His fingers clenched in her hair, drawing her head further back as he rubbed against her again.
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nbsp; Her arms wrapped around his back, drawing him closer as her fingers dug into his flesh. He lifted her against him, thrusting her against his aching shaft.
She quivered in his arms and ground against him. The musky scent of her arousal drew him in like a bee to the sweetest nectar, driving him toward a snapping point. He couldn’t take her now, she may let him, but they were standing in the middle of a park, and no one would see her body again, except for him.
He could have her back at the hotel in less than a minute, naked and screaming beneath him in ten. He pulled her away from the tree, unwilling to break the kiss. Reality would descend if he did, and reality would tell him he was making a mistake. If they did this, he could be binding them together in an irrevocable way.
Recalling that was like dumping a bucket of ice over him. He was a ruined man and she was a vibrant young woman who made heads turn everywhere she went, including his. He broke away from her, his head falling into the hollow of her neck. Her tantalizing, citrus scent filled his nostrils as he inhaled it deeply.
Tremors shook her as he held her. His fingers stroked her nape; she was so fragile, so small in his arms, and she belonged to him. He knew it with unfailing certainty, but the best thing for her was to let her go, and that was exactly what he intended to do.
He’d done many difficult things in his life; the toughest one was releasing her and stepping away. She gazed at him, her lips still swollen and wet from his kisses. She was young, but she was an alluring woman with a body made for bedding. He knew her body was the only one that would ever be able to ease his again, but still he forced himself to move further away from her.
Abby’s fingers slid to her mouth. She could still taste him on her tongue and feel his lips burning into hers, as he’d robbed her of her breath and reason. Every other kiss she’d ever experienced had left her cold and empty. They’d all felt wrong no matter how much she’d tried to make them feel right.
This kiss had only been right. She’d worried his kiss would pale in comparison to her childhood daydreams and her adult fantasies. There had never been any reason to worry, because it was better than she’d ever expected. It had made her come alive in a way she’d never known possible. Like a drug, she craved more of him, but he was already taking another step away from her. His eyes became guarded once more as he watched her.
The Vampire Awakenings Bundle: Books 1-5 Page 125