Evolution of a Goddess

by Dee King

  “Please, everyone take your seats.” Apollo says, making a motion for everyone to be seated but us.

  He places a hand on Atlas, telling him how special he is, and then asks for him to put his hand on top of one the books. Atlas looked up at me. I nod; helping him put his tiny hand on the leather-bound book. He begins giggling as water shoots out from the book. It shocked me as I pulled Atlas back quickly.

  “Atlas Kai, son of Sebastian and Selene Andreas, you are hereby gifted with powers of water.” Apollo announces loudly.

  He asks the same of Ember, who’s book almost ignites in flames, then turns to ash within a second.

  “Ember Rose, daughter of Sebastian and Selene Andreas, you are hereby given the powers of fire.”

  “May the water flow through your veins and the light guide your heart.”

  Everyone cheers from behind us as Sebastian and I turn to face the crowd. A huge anchor with flames inside of it lights up the room as it descends from the ceiling. It looked like a huge Vegas light or something. This was extravagant even for Iris. Tilting my head to look at Sebastian, he shrugs his shoulders. He didn’t know about this either. It was almost blinding. The twins loved it though as they clapped and cooed at it. Maybe she knew they would like it, but I felt like it was a bit much. We are walking back down the white carpet as the kids are still in awe of this huge light hanging from the ceiling when I see them. Almost stopping where I stood, there they sat, smiling at me. Trying to gather myself, walking straight to the back of the room, my heart begins racing.

  “How?” Reeling from what I just witnessed, standing perfectly still in front of Sebastian.

  “That’s a part of what I was doing. If you would have ever let me talk to you...” He knew exactly what I was talking about.

  “They shouldn’t be here. I don’t want them here.” Whispering to him coldly as my eyes stare over at them.

  “I’m sorry, but they had to be. It took a lot of convincing. You’re welcome by the way.”

  “I’m welcome? You have completely lost your damn mind.” My voice now louder than I thought as Iris comes to my side.

  “Hey, hey, hey… remember today is about them.” Pointing to the twins.

  “Okay? Let’s move on to the festivities, shall we?” She guides us down another white carpet into another fully decorated hall.

  Music fills the hall. It’s a beautiful harmonic piece as the lights draw down, candles begin to light on each table. We move quickly to the head of the room, placing each of the children in another ‘over done’ highchair. My gods, she was good at this. The children loved all of it. Watching their faces light up with such joy at every little detail. It was truly remarkable. It was for a children’s’ birthday so to speak, but it was remarkable even so. Sebastian pulls my chair out for me, leaning down over my head and nestling his face into my ears.

  “I promise, all this will make sense soon. You are my heart… my forever…”

  Moving my head away from him, searching his eyes for the answer, all he did was smile as he moved away from me to his seat next to mine. He takes my hand in his as we watch our children enjoy their moment. It was a precious memory I wanted to relish in for the rest of my days. However, the forgiveness wasn’t there for Sebastian… Not yet…

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  When do you let your heart truly find peace?

  The guests had all been seated after each making their way to us, celebrating our children. It wasn’t too long ago this was happening on our wedding day. It was an eerie feeling in a way. Telling each one of them who came to us thank you and blessing them for being here with us on this special day. But, I knew the time was coming when my parents would come to the table. First, Colin came to Sebastian, hugging him with one arm as he held his new bride’s hand in the other. Then it was my turn, I tried to stand but my feet wouldn’t let me. I felt as if I were in concrete. I look to the side of me and Atlas was staring down at my feet. Watching with him, he was doing this, he wouldn’t let me stand. He feared for me. My son was protecting me and he didn’t even know he was doing it.

  “Selene, this is my wife, Olivia Monroe.” My smile was genuine.

  “It’s truly an honor to meet you.” Her voice timid as she shakes my hand.

  “As I am you. Do they call you Olivia or Olivia Monroe?”

  “Yes, Olivia, or Liv, but you can call me whatever you chose.”

  “I see. Have you liked being here?” She finally began to smile.

  “Yes, Selene, I mean your highness.” Her head now bowing down.

  Keeping a hold of her hand, grasping it tighter to get her attention, she finally looks up facing me.

  “The pleasure is all mine, Olivia.... Let’s not be strangers anymore.” Smiling up at her.

  Searching her face, I could see it now. He had married a mortal, going against every rule that our parents had set in place. She was stunning, but she was a mortal. Her crystal blue eyes sparkled against her long blue gown with blonde golden locks wrapped around her shoulders. Her face never gave away that she wasn’t a Migades, and Colin had done well for himself. She was beauty and light, but that didn’t change my feelings. Colin had been keeping many secrets, this was just one more in a long list. Never knowing who was ever on my side when all was said and done, I turn my glance to Alex. Alex, who stood closely behind them, was beaming from pride. He must have been the one to introduce them along his journey while building his army. This was their secret. Colin had found a mortal he loved and married her without any hesitation. Colin was breaking all the rules, too. She seemed very happy to meet me, but my mind and heart were at two different places. He had made a choice to find love on his own. That was never a choice I had been given. Jealous of him in many ways, Colin was still the same guy I had met on the beach that day. Someone everyone loved, someone who could lead the masses. Yet he married a mortal? How was she ever going to be comfortable with this life? Also, would she ever know the sacrifices she would have to take being married to the God of the Seas? My heart hurt for her in many ways as I remember thinking that nothing but good would come from marrying someone I loved. Not being able to hide my feelings anymore, tears began to roll down my cheeks. I was lost in this world. Never knowing who was who. Who lied and who cheated. Was I the biggest fool in this room?

  “Selene? Are you okay?” Sebastian whispers to me and I try to nod my head through the tears.

  In a room filled with everyone I knew, I felt alone. Very alone. Touching my son’s face, his little fingers touching my cheeks where the tears were, he begins to silently cry. I smile through the tears, for I didn’t want him to know my pain. Tilting my head to glance at my daughter, holding her arms out to me for me to hold her. Sebastian picks her up and places her in my lap. I held her tightly, wanting to keep this part of me separate from them. I wanted them to only see the fun and strong mother, not the one who was broken inside. Tears began to fill my eyes again as the sweetest words began singing from the music being played. ‘Nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart…’ The words say as I close my eyes, holding my daughter in my arms and my son’s tiny fingers with my other hand. This was Sebastian’s apology to me.

  “Your parents are coming next…” Sebastian whispers to me as I hold my head up.

  “Selene, the children are truly beautiful and amazingly talented already. They will make all of us proud.” My mother bends down to say to me.

  “Thank you.” Were the two words that escaped my mouth.

  “Selene, Sebastian, we thank you for allowing us to be here and return home. We won’t let you down.” My father says as he winks to me.

  That last part caught me off guard. I guess we were just breaking all kinds of rules now. Nobody had even considered my feelings in all of this? Is this what Sebastian had done behind my back? He had allowed them to come back here, make a life here for eternity? Placing a gift at the end of the table wrapped in gold foil with a huge white bow, they walk away.

  That would be
the first one I burned was my thought as Sebastian placed an arm around my neck.

  “Don’t get mad… Just carry on with the evening. It’s almost over. I didn’t know he was going to tell you like that.”

  “Sebastian…”

  “Yes, my love.”

  “Go to hell.” I say with a smile, but the sarcasm was felt all the way to his heart.

  I had become immune to being able to fake smiles, being able to fake my way through this life. One more smile for the crowd and I was out of there. I was tired of putting on a show for everyone. It was time for someone in this gods forsaken place I had to call home to have freedom. Even if it wasn’t me, someone deserved happiness. Announcing to the room that I was grateful for everyone being there it was time for us to return home. Sebastian, caught off guard, stands to his feet following my lead and takes Atlas in his arms, carrying him out after Ember and me. We wave to everyone, thanking them repeatedly. Zack scurries to get the carriage to us, as no one was speaking to Sebastian or me. Our ride home stayed in silence as the world we lived in passed us by. Nothing had prepared for me what had happened and all I had learned this evening. Sebastian had turned against me. It was the only thing I saw clearly. How could he have my parents here? How did he not tell me all that he had been doing? My heart dropped as we arrived at our home. Getting out with the children and rushing inside, I go to lay our children down to sleep.

  “Selene… I swear it’s not what you think.” He says to me grabbing me by the arm as I shut the door to Ember’s room.

  “Tell me Sebastian, what do I think?” Pulling away from him I make my way to our bedroom.

  “You think I have betrayed you, but I haven’t. Not in the least, I did this for you.” He follows me into our room.

  “You did this for me… you know what… never mind…” Walking into our huge closet, I shut the door to begin to undress.

  “You won’t even hear me out. You’re acting like I did something to you when in fact, I did something for you. Come on, Selene, just let me explain.” He keeps talking to me through the door as I change my clothes.

  “When we went to see my Dad, it was for Colin. But then I had this great idea that your parents could make everything up to you and they would have that chance if they lived here. You see, I am trying to give you what you want. A big happy family.” He is still speaking as I open the door.

  “Do you even hear yourself? Do you even know me anymore?” I say to him, nodding my head in disbelief.

  “Do you know how selfish you sound, Selene? No really. Do you? I swear…” He follows me into our bedroom.

  “You swear what?” I ask him, placing the crown on the small table beside the bed.

  “Nothing.” He groans.

  “Explain everything to me then. The going behind my back, the constant whispers, the marriage that you were able to take part of, but I wasn’t. I really can’t wait to hear all this. So please, go ahead…”

  “Are you even going to listen?” He says making his way to the other side of our room, finding a seat in the corner.

  “Are you ever going to stop lying to me and to yourself?” I ask him as I take a seat on the bed.

  “What? Lying? I have never lied to you.” His eyebrows raise.

  “Yea? Then explain how all of this is happening. I know I had become reclusive for a while, everything was weighing on me, but during that time you didn’t think I would miss you or notice you weren’t around? You don’t think that I didn’t know what you were doing? I saw you!”

  “You saw me what? Being a witness at your brother’s wedding? You saw me convincing your parents that they had a daughter they owed their lives too? You should know me better by now.” He shakes his head at me.

  “Then explain to me how you plan to become the God of the Underworld and here?” I point around me.

  “You’re clueless. I won’t become that, remember- I gave up everything for YOU!”

  He says nothing else, turning his head out to look at the window. He didn’t say a word. He now felt what I felt. Pain. Heartache… Something inside of us was broken and I didn’t know if we could fix it this time.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  When the truth hits you like a ton of bricks…

  We sat in silence, both staring out the window. Maybe we had married just to prove that we wouldn’t bow down to Zeus? Maybe we had lied to ourselves over all this time that we could make this work? He didn’t want what I wanted anymore. As the silence filled the room, turning to face him, I watch as the tears stream down his face. His head now buried in his hands as to not let me see him cry. He wanted to be the god he had been raised to be. Not the one who held the fates and futures of so many in their hands. I didn’t know what to say as I let the quiet take over my thoughts.

  “I… I wanted…” He speaks as if he can barely speak above a whisper.

  “I wanted to give you everything in this life, but I…” His words coming out but barely recognizable through the tears he was crying.

  “Give me everything? You have, you have done all that. Why do you want to leave me? Or our children?” My words catch my breath, as I now begin to cry.

  “I don’t want that. Oh gods… is that what you think?” He wipes his face, standing up from the chair.

  “What else could I think? You obviously don’t want this life. You don’t want me, and you now realize this. Why else would you want to leave?” My words fluster me as I try to speak in a coherent sentence.

  “My father is dying…” His words hit me like a ton of bricks.

  “What?” I go to him.

  “Your parents are dying too. Oh, gods Selene, we did this to them…” He keeps shaking his head back and forth.

  “Oh no… Our parents aren’t dying. They are lying to you. Again. You can’t truly believe that can you?”

  “It’s the truth. I don’t know how much longer they all have here or there for that matter. I was setting it up for Cato to take his rightful place even though he isn’t married yet. That was a Zeus rule and I was convincing our parents that this was only right. It took a lot of time, but Colin will now rule the seas, Cato will rule the Underworld, and we will... remain here.”

  “Sebastian, no one is dying. Did they tell you this? They are lying to you. Once again, pawns in their game. You can’t truly be blind to this? They can’t die. Remember?” Shaking my head at him.

  “You aren’t listening! They are dying! With all they did on Earth and all that has happened… their time here is up.” Sebastian’s voice shakes with sadness.

  “No way.” Those were the only words I could say after hearing my parents were dying?

  “Do you even have a heart anymore?” He asks me with tears in his eyes, shaking his head at me in disbelief.

  “Have a heart? No. No I don’t have one for them. We didn’t do this to them, they did this to themselves. Less you forget they tried to kill us numerous times? And even your own father didn’t try to help until the end of every battle. So, no… I do not have a heart anymore!”

  His words cut me like a knife. It had felt like he was asking me if I could love anyone anymore. Maybe I couldn’t? Maybe I could only love my children for they were innocent in all of this. My heart longed for a simple love, a simple life, and that was never going to be the life I led. Why was it so hard for me to believe that my parents somehow, some way had loved me?

  That all this was for a bigger purpose. Was I not the one who had saved them from sudden death? Of course, I had heart, it was just hidden under layers of stone.

  “I guess we just see things differently…” My words whispered into the cold air between us.

  “Selene, I’m begging you. Have a heart. At least see it from my point of view.”

  “And what point is that, Sebastian?”

  “My father was my best friend. I already lost my mother and didn’t even get the time to mourn her. Just understand that I did and am doing everything I can to make all this right.” His voice quiet, I star
ed blankly out the window.

  “That’s fair.” That’s all I could say in the moment.

  Turning away from him, I make my way down the stairs. Taking the long path to our backyard, I find the pool of water waiting for me. I sit with just my feet dangling in the water and bend down to let the water run through my fingers. This was still my way of finding peace. From somewhere beneath this cold heart was a heart who did love more than it let on.

  Running my fingers back and forth through the water, trying to make peace with all that was happening in my life, I felt the tears begin to stream down my face. The feeling of never being enough for my father to have cared enough to see me grow up, to finding out my mom wasn’t my mother, and having a mother who ruled with an iron fist had finally taken a toll on this broken heart. Being ruled by a tyrant for so long, having to do exactly what wasn’t expected of me, and learning to become something I didn’t feel I was; had all come to a place inside of me that I didn’t know how to live with. Turning to anger to guide me was the only way I now knew. But something inside of me wanted to be the old me, the carefree me… Letting the tears roll, laying my body down, keeping my feet in the water, somehow peace would find me. Everyone had lost so much since the day I found out I was a goddess. Many had died believing in me, believing that I fought for a greater purpose. Believing that I was a hero they had needed, but I was none of those things. As a child, all we want is to be loved. As you grow older, you want that same love and so much more. Maybe I had come all this way to learn from the past? My thoughts run rapid in my mind, trying to let everything go. All the pain, all the heartache, everything. Peace would come, in time…