Cursed on the Second Date: A Witchy Cozy Mystery (Cursed Coven Cozies Book 2)

by Daphne DeWitt

  Of all the people I’d imagined my prize of an aunt might have ended up with, the Earl wasn’t one of them. Maybe if he was actual nobility, if she was the witch version of Grace Kelly or something, then I might have been able to understand. That wasn’t what was happening though. This man’s hair looked as though it hadn’t seen a brush in years. His beard looked unruly and shaggy, and I was pretty sure there was half a French fry stuck in there. His name may have been Earl, but there wasn’t anything even remotely royal about him.

  “Welcome, Mr. Reeks,” Grandma Misty said, trying very hard to keep some form of optimism in her voice. If Aunt Tilly could tell she was failing, she didn’t let on. “He must be special if you deiced he was the one after two weeks.”

  My heart nearly stopped. Did she just say two weeks? Had my fiercely independent, world-traveling aunt really get swept off her feet by a stocky man in a shirt with what I really hoped was a barbecue sauce stain on it in only two weeks?

  It didn’t make any sense. This was not the woman I knew.

  “When you know you just know, ya know?” Aunt Tilly said with a dreamy look on her face.

  I didn’t just know though. That wasn’t the sort of thing I just knew. It was insanity.

  I looked over at Abigail to see if she realized how crazy Aunt Tilly sounded. She stuck her tongue out at me, which could have meant any numbers of things honestly. Still, I chose to believe she agreed.

  “Are you two going to the Under the Stars Charity Ball?” Agnes asked from her spot on the couch, smiling up at them with her mousy little grin.

  “They’re still having that?” Aunt Tilly asked, shaking her head. “I guess what they say is true. Some things never change.” She looked over at her new fiancé. “That sounds like a good time doesn’t it, Earl?” Aunt Tilly asked, laying her hand over her fiancé’s heart. Her modest, but beautiful diamond ring caught my eye. It almost sparkled as much as her eyes. Almost.

  “If you’re there, it’s a good time, Love,” he said, causing her to giggle like a middle school girl who was talking to her crush. “It’ll give you a chance to show off one of those outfits I bought you.” He smiled.

  “That’s right! We have to go pick out dresses, remember?” Sadie asked, pulling my attention off of Aunt Tilly’s ring.

  Between setting up the charity ball, having Daniel ask me to said ball, and Aunt Tilly bringing home Earl, or, I’m sorry ‘The Earl’ I had forgotten all about finding a dress to wear.

  “Oh, that’s right. Do you want to go now?” I asked, grabbing my keys before she had time to answer. My head was spinning from all of this, and I needed to get out of that house before something even weirder happened.

  “So lovely to meet you, Mr. The,” I said, giving my aunt a quick hug and heading for the door.

  Getting in the car, I cranked it up and watched as my sisters their ways to me. I sort of wished Christopher was here (in human form). He wouldn’t have been able to answer any of the million questions swirling around in my head right now, but he’d have made the situation a lot more enjoyable, and that counted for something.

  Sadie opened the door and slid in the passenger seat. “Do you think I’ll fall in love like Aunt Tilly one day?” she asked, fastening her seatbelt in place.

  “Are you serious right now?” I asked, looking over at my youngest sister like she was an alien instead of a witch.

  “What?” she asked, looking at me with doe eyes.

  “Has the ‘perfect’ gone to your head or something?” I asked, shaking my head. “Do you not see the train wreck, I just saw in there?”

  “She’s in love,” Sadie answered simply. “That’s all any of us can hope for.” She sighed the most perfect lullaby of a sigh. “It’s what I’m hoping for, anyway.”

  “You’ll get it,” I answered, suddenly feeling like a heel for snapping at my youngest sister. “In fact, I think you will do a little better than Aunt Tilly, Sis. Earl isn’t exactly something to write home about,” I said, waiting for the twins to get in so we could leave.

  “But he makes Aunt Tilly happy. Isn’t that all that matters?” Agnes asked, climbing after her silent sister.

  She was right, and I knew that because I heard people say it all the time, but it was hard to wrap my head around it. Happiness would never matter to me because I couldn’t have it.

  Earl did make Aunt Tilly happy, and I know it made me sound superficial, but Earl was just so Earl, you know? He was weird and when a Norwood can call you weird than it had to be true. I knew weird because I was practically the poster child of it.

  The twins hopped in, and we got away from the house with haste.

  “I guess,” I said, parking the car in front of the only dress shop in Cat’s Cradle.

  Putting the car in park, I hopped out. As I waited for my sisters, I took in the sights of Main Street, and that’s when I saw him. Daniel Price was chatting up a storm with Helen Matthews. I could hear her high pitched giggle from across the street.

  Her laugh had become infamous in Cat’s Cradle since she moved there six months earlier. It was almost like a town legend.

  The more I watched them it became easier to see that they knew each other. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but their body language said it all.

  She was cute too, a tiny little brunette with curvy hips, a set of full lips, and enough smarts to know how to dress to accentuate both. I had never had much interaction with the woman aside from a wave or two as I walked by the diner where she worked. Still, looking at her now and the way her hand was resting on Daniel’s arm, I decided I didn’t really like her too much.

  Not at all.

  “I bet he’s asking her to the charity ball,” Abigail said, nudging me with her super sharp elbow.

  “Ouch, put the weapon you call an arm away,” I said, shaking my head and glaring at her. I didn’t need that particular thought running through my head right now. If Daniel wanted to ask some diner floozy to the ball, that was on him. I had a date of my own... a date with my brother.

  It’s not as pathetic as it sounds, I kept reminding myself.

  “Just speaking the truth,” Abigail said grinning. She loved the idea of getting under my skin.

  “How are you speaking at all?” I shot back. “I thought Agnes had the voice,” I explained, keeping my eyes on the Daniel and Helen.

  “I wore her down when you were trying to kill Helen with your mind,” she said, doing of best impression of me staring at Daniel and Helen.

  “I was not trying to kill her with anything,” I answered, though my eyes were still planted on their interaction. “And I didn’t even hear you. Did you guys get around that whole humming thing you do?”

  “Nope,” Abigail chimed. “You just must have been very invested in the thing you just told me you don’t care about.”

  “Shut up,” I muttered at my least favorite sister (at least for the moment).

  I didn’t care if they were planning a June wedding and were picking out their kids’ names. The only thing I wanted from Daniel Price was to figure out what my dream was all about and see if he really could break the horrible curses bestowed upon me and my family.

  He probably couldn’t. It didn’t seem reasonable, anyway. After all, he was just a mortal man. He didn’t have any supernatural abilities unless you counted being impossibly annoying as supernatural.

  Still, I needed to either figure it out or finally make peace with the fact that the dream was nothing more than a bad reaction to late night Chinese food. Otherwise, I was going to drive myself crazy.

  “Do you think his tie will be all color coordinated with her dress?” she asked, trying to get under my skin. “I love it when couples do that. Oh! Do you think they’ll become a couple after this?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  I had no clue why she thought I had a crush on Daniel or cared who he accompanied to parties because I didn’t on either account. He might have been on my mind, and he may have infiltrated my place of work, but Da
niel Price wasn’t on my romantic radar. Not that I even got to have a romantic radar. The last time I was in a relationship, the joy I felt ended up triggering my curse. The result had been volatile enough to cause my Grandma Misty to break her leg and spark an economic downturn, forcing her to sell off half of Norwood, Norwood, and Norwood, which brought Daniel Price into our lives in the first place.

  The whole thing had a sort of full circle feeling to it that really ground my gears.

  “Who’s Bobby going with?” I asked her, attempting to throw a little shade of my own. Though, admittedly, I lacked the skill set my sister had with that sort of thing.

  She folded her arms and stuck her nose up in the air. “I don’t know, and I don’t care,” she said, pulling her long black hair up in a ponytail.

  Obviously, I had struck a nerve. Too bad my attention was quickly pulled in another direction.

  Daniel hugged Helen before walking away. Clenching my fist, I stalked into the dress shop to meet the youngest of the Norwood girls.

  I found Sadie standing there, the kind of smile on her face reserved for those without too much in the way of worries.

  “What’s wrong with you? Are you mad that Abigail has the voice because I wasn’t too excited about that either,” Sadie said, handing me a beautiful lavender chiffon gown and almost bursting with excitement. “I thought of you when I saw it. Go try it on.”

  “It would probably look better on you,” I admitted, looking at the dress and then at my sister’s perfect porcelain skin which would definitely compliment it.

  “Oh, what does that have to do with anything?” She asked. She hadn’t said I was wrong though. “Now stop being silly and try it on,” she said, giving me a caring pat on the shoulder.

  Even her condescension was perfect.

  Rushing into the nearest dressing room, I slipped out of my clothes and into the dress. Taking a deep breath, I looked in the mirror. It was lighter under the fluorescent lights of the dressing room. Now that I saw it on, I had to admit that I didn’t look half bad. I was no Sadie, of course. Then again, who was? I had learned a long time ago that comparing yourself to someone cursed with perfection was a quick way to feeling bad.

  Still, I loved this thing. It turned out that lavender the perfect color on my skin tone too and, better than that, it fit like a glove. I didn’t even have to suck in.

  They say witches have all the magic, but that obviously wasn’t true. There was some in this dress as well.

  Smiling, I felt a warm sense of pleasantness pass through me and then instinctively tensed up. I saw the mirror crack and then shatter into a million pieces on the floor just inches from where I stood. Flinching backward, my mouth turned down into a familiar frown.

  That’s what you get for trying to look pretty, I thought to myself, shaking my head and wondering how much of my paycheck was now going to have to go toward replacing a dressing room mirror. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t even smile without something breaking or someone getting hurt.

  Worst curse ever.

  3

  The lights I had put up twinkled from the trees, and the soft music filled the evening air. It was warm enough not to need a jacket, which was good. Broken mirrors aside, I looked good in this dress, and I didn’t want to have to cover it up if at all possible. It seemed like it was going to be a perfect night.

  “We set this up nicely, didn’t we?” I asked Sadie, proudly admiring our hard work.

  Sadie opened her mouth to answer me, but she was interrupted by the sound of booming thunder.

  “Was that me?” I asked, pouting as I looked up into the sky. “I wasn’t even that happy!” I exclaimed as if to explain myself to the quickly gathering storm clouds.

  “I doubt you’re potent enough to change weather patterns,” she answered in what was a feeble, but probably well-intended attempt to make me feel better.

  She knew better. I’d brought meteors down for Pete’s sake. A little inclimate weather was nothing for me.

  “If it rains we can’t have an Under the Stars Charity Ball. We’ll have to move it inside, and that makes no sense. The theme is Under the Stars! How can it be Under the Stars from inside?” I asked, looking up the sky. A single drop of rain hit my nose and tears welled up in my eyes.

  You’ve done it again Malady.

  “Maybe it will pass if you stop smiling and acting all proud,” Sadie suggested with a sympathetic smile. Obviously, she had given up on her attempt at diverting the blame away from me.

  As sad as it was to admit, she was probably right. A sad song or two, maybe one of those commercials about the abandoned animals, and this thing would probably go off without a hitch.

  So I did just that. I sighed heavily and thought about our old dog Hijinx. He was a good puppy, and he grew up into a good dog.

  We had no idea what sort he was, only that he had black fur and an infectious smile.

  Grandma Misty used to call him ‘half black lab and half mystery meat.’ I loved that dog, right up until the day I woke up to find he had run away.

  And that was the last time I ever saw him.

  My heart dropped a little at the memory, and at the thought of Hijinx lost out there somewhere. We had tried to find him, even cast locator spells, but it was no use. He was gone, and that was that. I swallowed hard. It had done the trick. Pulling back my pride and that little slither of happiness I was feeling, the sky cleared up.

  Seeing the same remarkable clearing that I did, Sadie looked over at me. “Did you think about the day they closed the Duplex Theater in town again?”

  “Hijinx,” I answered.

  She grimaced. “Oh, Mal, don’t be that mean to yourself.”

  “Whatever helps us have a good night,” I answered, smiling half-heartedly. “Speaking of trying to have a good night, have you seen Christopher?” I asked her, trying to move, but I couldn’t. It seemed that the storm clouds weren’t the only adverse effect to my momentary lapse in misery. While I was foolishly feeling proud of myself, it seemed my heels had implanted themselves in the dirt, sinking into the soft grass underfoot.

  “No, I haven’t,” Sadie answered. “Why don’t you try to dislodge yourself from the earth, and I’ll see if he’s fluttering around here somewhere.”

  “If you find him, you tell that boy he’d better in human form and in a tux in five minutes flat. The last thing I need is to be stood up by my own brother.”

  “Got it,” Sadie smiled her perfect smile and turned on her heels (which hadn’t sunk into the ground) and started off.

  “And shoes!” I yelled after her. “Tell him he’d better be wearing shoes!”

  I spent a good ten minutes trying to get them out of the ground when I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me out of the dirt. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Daniel stifling a laugh.

  “Hello, Suzie Q. You’re always in some sort of trouble aren’t you?” he asked, helping me onto the sidewalk, “Good thing I was here to save you.”

  Rolling my eyes, I pulled my arm out of his hold. “You have a curious definition of the word saved,” I said.

  “I like to think it’s traditional,” he said in his patented irritatingly cocky voice.

  “You’re just like Prince Charming without the horse,” I said dryly, trying to get away from him as fast as my mud caked stilettos would let me.

  Unfortunately, he kept pace with me, walking alongside me as if it wasn’t obvious that I was trying to create some distance.

  This guy, I thought, internally huffing. This is the guy I thought would help rid me and my family of our curses? Fate must be out of its mind.

  “I love this song,” he said, bopping his head to a pretty recent country music hit as he continued pace by my side.

  “I’m very happy for you. As interesting as that extra special little peek into your psyche was, don’t you have a date to annoy? Where’s Helen?” I asked a little louder than I had intended.

  Everyone within hearing distance turn
ed to look at us. I knew I sounded like a jealous girlfriend and it would probably be running rampant all over town the next morning that I was romantically linked to the man that saved our family law firm.

  “Why would I know where Helen Matthews is?” he asked clearly amused by my public blowup, which made me upset enough to blow up all over again.

  “Oh, please. Don’t act dumb, Daniel. I saw you and Helen hugging earlier,” I said, swatting him on his shoulder. It was like hitting cement. I had to examine my finger to make sure it was broken.

  He burst into the obnoxious laugh that I had grown to detest and that only got us more looks from everyone. I knew that by the next morning all of the nosey Nancy’s in Cat’s Cradle would have spread the news all over town about our nonexistent romance.

  “Is that how it works in Cat’s Cradle? If you hug someone you’re dating them?” he asked, shaking his head.

  When he said it out loud, it did sound ridiculous. Still, when he hugged her, it seemed like there was some history there. And yeah, that kind of was how it worked in Cat’s Cradle. We were a mountain town, after all, and everyone knew things moved slower in the mountains. “You knew her, though. I could tell by your face.”

  “Nothing gets past you, does it? You should have been a reporter instead of a lawyer,” he said, folding his arms and giving me a weird look.

  “And miss out on the joys of working alongside you?” I answered, something like a spark lighting up in my chest as our banter kicked into the next gear. “Why, how could I live with myself if I did that?”

  “Don’t ask me,” he smiled. “It’d be a pretty loathsome life. That’s for sure.” He smiled again and, this time, there was something more than banter underneath. “You know if I didn’t know any better I would think you were jealous.”

  Scoffing, I patted him on the shoulder. “You wish, Atlanta,” I told him, looking around for my super late brother who was probably going to show up in bird form even if Sadie managed to warn him not to. I sighed. I really hoped he remembered to stash some clothes here earlier.