Her Dual Surrender

by Ines Johnson

  Eva looked down at her hand. Any hint of injury was gone. “I feel better,” she said. “Thank you, Niao.”

  Eva reached out and took Niao’s thin frame into her own. At first, the little boy was shocked by the hug. His eyes looked like they were near tears. His hands rose slowly. They lightly patted Eva’s back, sliding up and down the fabric of her dress.

  Beulah caught a shuffling figure in the distance from them. Nse’s eyes were locked on the two children. His jaw was tense. Want pooled in his oversized eyes.

  Beulah passed Niao and Eva. Nse looked up at her approach. He turned away from her at first. When he faced her again, his face was an emotionless mask. He bowed his head as she came near.

  “How are you doing, Nse?”

  The child looked up at her, wide-eyed, as though he was shocked that she’d addressed him.

  “I am alert,” he said. “Nothing and no one will get past me to harm her. I will not fail again.”

  Beulah reached out to the boy and tilted his chin up so that he looked into her eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  Nse frowned. “Of course it was. I let her go into danger.”

  He had a point there. “You made a mistake.”

  That didn’t have the effect Beulah had hoped for. The child’s shoulders slumped. His careful mask crumpled. Beulah reached out to rub his shoulder, but he ducked away.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Beulah asked. “About your father?”

  “That was not my father. My father died the moment he was touched by evil. That carcass was not his spirit.”

  Nse took a shuddery breath. Beulah’s heart ached for the child.

  “I will not fail again.” Nse took up his sentry, his face taut.

  “Nse, Niao,” the call came from Shanti who made her way down the hall. “Time for meditation. Let Ms. Beulah and Eva get some rest.”

  Nse reluctantly moved from his guard post. Eva gave Niao another hug. Then she looked at Nse.

  Nse’s eyes shuffled to the floor. The darker boy grit his teeth, bowed to her, and then walked off.

  Shanti came up to them. “Beulah, do you think I could speak with you and your sister in private?”

  Beulah sent Eva into the room and called Esther out. Esther looked both ways before she stepped out of the room, making sure there were no demons afoot.

  “Are we home yet?” Esther asked.

  “Not yet, but we’re close.” Shanti shuffled uncomfortably. “I know you both know what happened with Pakua. We’re having trouble healing him because the energy is counter to what the Eloheem are. But there’s another type of energy, an energy called Nirvana. I think that if we can harness the energy and get it to him, then he could heal.”

  “So you want to stop off somewhere, to another planet, to get this energy?” Beulah asked. She wouldn’t mind the stop if it helped Pakua.

  “No,” Shanti shook her head. “We don’t need to go anywhere. We can get it here. But we need help.”

  “Of course, anything you need.” Beulah owed her daughter’s life to Pakua. Though he’d never said a kind word to her or offered her any of the hospitality that the others did, she was still grateful.

  “It’s kind of a delicate matter.” Shanti looked past Beulah at her sister. “Nirvanic energy is another word for… sexual energy. Not sex, exactly. Not penetration. The energy from a female’s orgasm produces an energy that is extremely powerful.”

  “What exactly are you saying, Shanti?” asked Beulah.

  “What she’s saying, sister is that she wants us to turn into demon whores like her,” Esther said.

  “Now look here,” said Shanti. “I’m married to Chen and Hsing.”

  “Marriage is between one man and one woman,” Esther countered.

  “Well, then I guess I’m not married in any human sense because I married two aliens.”

  “Then I don’t see what the problem will be for you to bed yet another.” Esther disappeared back into the room, closing the door shut behind her.

  Shanti sighed. “I’m sorry. There was no delicate way to put that. Women hold such power over the Eloheem. It’s the only way to save him. He’ll die if he doesn’t get help soon, and Yehfe will follow.”

  “Yehfe?” Beulah’s hand rose to her chest at the thought of Yehfe falling to harm.

  “They’re linked together. If one goes the other follows. Or if not follow, they go mad.”

  “Pakua and Yehfe will die if they don’t have… relations?”

  “Not actual intercourse. I would do it if my energy wasn’t already entwined with my mates.” Shanti huffed at the shut door. Then she faced Beulah and sighed. “You and Yehfe have become friends. If only you weren’t married.”

  Beulah looked down at her left hand which rested on her chest. Her eyes narrowed on the faded skin at her ring finger. The tan line was still there. She’d only taken the band off a few months ago when she finally accepted that Josiah was never coming back to her.

  “We’ll figure something out.” Shanti’s voice sounded far away. She patted Beulah on the shoulder and headed down the hall.

  Beulah looked in the opposite direction. Back in the direction of the room where Yehfe sat holding onto his brother’s life and his own sanity. Her feet were moving before she made the conscious decision to go.

  Chapter Twelve

  Yehfe clasped his brother’s hand as another tremor wracked through Pakua’s body. His skin was burning hot like the rocks of Vultaire which had three suns. He felt the wholesome virya energy seeping out of Pakua and the marred energy creeping through his veins.

  Pakua had been doing better after Beulah’s prayers. Her strength had fueled Yehfe and lifted his own spirits in this dark time. He’d needed to be held. It had been so long since he’d known another being’s touch.

  Yehfe and Pakua had been still very young when their mother had been ripped from their bond. Before their parting, she had been free with her touches and caresses. The last time Yehfe had leaned on his brother had been the first time their marred father had found the Mothership and taken aim at the younglings on board.

  Their mother’s and Yang father’s deaths had torn their hearts into uneven parts. Yehfe had been on his way to healing with the help of the rest of the Eloheem. But when their remaining father had attacked, it left permanent scars on Pakua. He’d shunned any type of care from anyone after that.

  Yehfe looked down at the angry gash on his brother’s torso. He dared not touch the wound directly. But he did run a hand over his brother’s heated brow.

  Pakua shuddered, a grimace rippled across his features. Yehfe took his hand back.

  The wound had looked as though it was healing with Beulah’s strength and prayers. But soon after she left, the marred energy made a comeback. Perhaps there was something to the prayers Beulah had said over his brother. Yehfe tried to remember the words of the chant, but much of the utterances were nonsensical to him and he couldn’t work them out.

  There was a knock at the door. No Eloh ever knocked. He turned to see Beulah standing in the open entry. She hesitated at the threshold, like the first time she’d visited him and the younglings. She wouldn’t meet his eyes.

  “Beulah?” Yehfe stood. “Is there something wrong? Is it Eva?”

  “No…” Her gaze darted to his, then to Pakua lying prone on the bed, and then back down to the floor.

  “Are you unwell?” Yehfe asked.

  “Shanti said that if Pakua doesn’t heal soon, he’ll die.”

  Now, it was Yehfe’s turn to train his gaze on the floor. He nodded his head.

  “And you too?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’ll die, too?”

  Yehfe pursed his lips. He closed his eyes. Then he lifted his gaze to meet hers. There was fear in her eyes, panic. He ached to reach out to her, to reassure her that all would be well. But he wasn’t sure it was the truth.

  “The thought of that…” Beulah shook her head. “I’ve barely known you any time at all,
but I feel like I’ve known you for a lifetime. Is that crazy?”

  “No. It is perfectly sane. I feel the same affinity for you. I count you as a dear, kindred spirit.”

  Beulah stepped further into the room. The door shut behind her. She reached for Yehfe’s hands. When their fingertips touched it felt like watching the birth of a star.

  Colors exploded before Yehfe’s eyes. Heat tracked up his spine. Clouds formed and cleared in his mind. He felt ten feet tall and twice as strong.

  “Did you feel that?” Beulah’s voice was husky. Her fingers tightened around his. Her palms molded to his.

  Yehfe didn’t respond. The sensations were too overwhelming for him to move.

  “It felt like when I was here earlier,” she continued, “I was helping Pakua.”

  “Your prayers helped greatly. He showed signs of improvement.”

  “I felt like together, you and I, we created this energy. It was like a healing energy that I’ve felt in church. Only a hundred times stronger. Is that crazy?”

  “No. That is quite sane. I felt it, too. You have a strong spirit and a giving heart. Your energy fueled me. I believe my brother felt your strength of spirit, as well.”

  She stepped closer to him. Yehfe knew he should step back. He had never been this close to anyone outside of his family before. His body refused to budge. He was so starved for a connection.

  “Shanti said there might be another way I could help you.”

  Beulah didn’t need to say the words. With her skin touching his, Yehfe saw exactly what way she meant. He dropped her hands and took two steps back.

  It was a fruitless action. The vision was already in his mind. Beulah’s body beneath his. Their skin pressed tightly together.

  “Beulah, no.” He shut his eyes, but that only brought the sensations closer to the forefront of his mind. “I would never ask that of you.”

  He opened his eyes at her silence. Her shoulders caved in. She looked away, but not before he saw her shame. Though he’d broken the connection, her feelings showed clear on her face. She thought herself undesirable to him.

  Yehfe closed the distance between them, but he did not touch her. “Beulah, you are the most beautiful piece of creation I have ever seen in my life. Your friendship has been the bright spot of my existence thus far. I will treasure the strength you gave to me and my brother with your prayers, with your spirit. But I would never ask you to betray your bond.”

  Beulah studied Yehfe. Slowly her shoulders straightened. She took a deep breath, and she spoke “Is that all it is? You’re just worried about Josiah and the bond I have with him?”

  “It would be the height of disrespect for me to covet another man’s mate. I promised I would return you to the man you’ve given your soul to, and I will not fail you.”

  “I trust your word, Yehfe. I believe you that you will keep your promise and take me home. But I can’t leave this ship knowing there was something I could’ve done to help you, to help both of you. I’ve seen how touch works with your kind. If the energy of my touch can help to heal your brother and save your life, then I offer you my body.”

  A tightness grew in Yehfe’s chest weighted down by the guilt of want. Because he wanted Beulah. He craved the feeling of her fingers entwined with his. He ached to feel the heat of her palms pressed against his. Surely if they prayed together again, it would help his brother. If that were all.

  “Shanti said we don’t have to have biblical relations, intercourse, like a husband and a wife. She said you just needed to touch me.”

  Beulah reached for the top small circular enclosures of her garment. She shut her eyes tight. She pinched her lips as she slipped the circle from its slot.

  Yehfe stood frozen to the spot as the top swell of her breast peaked out from under her shirt. His loins strained. But he was able to get his mouth to work. “I can not ask you to make such a betrayal.”

  “It’s not a betrayal,” she said. “Eva’s father would say its the least he can do for the men who saved his daughter.”

  Yehfe looked at this woman, a woman he never dreamed could be his. And here she was, offering herself to him. She brought her hands up to his chest. Yehfe watched their descent down to where both of his hearts lay.

  When her fingers made impact, he felt his essence pool at the twin spots of her palms. Everything that he was pooled into those two spots. He feared that if he inhaled, he’d explode.

  “We owe our lives to you,” Beulah said. “Please let me help you.”

  Yehfe looked down at this woman. Her pale face shone bright with an eager compassion. Her dark hair formed a divine halo of virtue. And she offered him life.

  He brought her into his arms, into one of the hugs his daughter offered so freely. He felt himself strengthening just from her touch. This would work. Her energy would heal his brother. But would it forever lock his hearts in an unattainable desire?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Beulah looked around the room. The first time she’d been in here it had been full of people. Now there were only three; herself, Yehfe, and the prone Pakua who lay sleeping on the bed.

  Pakua’s breathing was labored. His skin was a pale shade of purple, not near his brother’s coloring but it was getting closer by the moment.

  Yehfe was bent down on the floor. He unrolled a cushioned pallet that ran the length of the bed. She stared at the pallet now. Was this where they would do this? Right here with Pakua as a silent witness.

  “You do not have to do this, Beulah.”

  She startled at the sound of Yehfe’s voice. His back was turned to her now. He kneeled, in the same manner, she’d seen him meditate with the children. She stared at the pattern of swirling nodes on his head. They reminded her of notes on a page of sheet music. She wondered if she drew bar lines and a staff what melody would they make?

  Yehfe turned. His normally calm eyes were filled with wariness as he regarded her. “You are frightened. I do not want to cause you distress.”

  Beulah shook her head. “I’m nervous, but I’m not frightened. I’ve had sex before. It’s not scary.”

  She found sex boring. After the first few times with Josiah, the pain had gone away. After that, it was just another chore to check off her list. Josiah had never been frequent in his attentions to their marital bed.

  When he did do his duty, the act never took very long and Josiah always fell asleep after. Beulah would frequently get up and do housework or read a book to help her to go to sleep after marital relations. She’d learned from her mother and the other ladies of the church that sex was for men, and not for women. It made sense to her now that sex would be what would heal this alien male.

  “We will not be having intercourse,” said Yehfe.

  Beulah blinked, clearing her mind. “Did you see all of that?”

  “Not very clearly,” he said. “Your mind isn’t always clear when it comes to your mate. I suppose it is due to the private bond you share.”

  Beulah said nothing. She kept a careful mask on her face. She hated that she was lying to Yehfe; a man who was literally moving Heaven and Earth to meet her desire to return home. But that little, white lie was what made Yehfe and the other Eloheem work so hard to get her back home. They wanted to protect her bond with Josiah.

  “I will not be entering your body. I just need to touch you, to touch your energy channels. I will gather the energy. It will enter me and then I can share it with Pakua through our link.”

  Beulah nodded. “I’m ready. What do you need me to do? Take off my clothes?”

  She’d already opened the first button of her blouse. Yehfe stopped Beulah’s hands from removing her shirt.

  “I think it would be best if you did not,” he said.

  Beulah covered her chest with her hands. She was a bit shocked with herself that she was eager to be naked with another man. She’d never been entirely nude before Josiah. He’d always come to her under the cover of darkness while she was under the covers in the bed in a nightg
own.

  “I want to be as respectful as possible of your bond,” he said.

  Yehfe’s eyes connected with hers. She stood fully clothed, but she felt bare under his soft gaze. Josiah had never looked at her with such admiration, such openness. Not even when he’d courted her. The courting only amounted to him introducing himself in church and then asking her father for her hand. It had taken a matter of months.

  Yehfe guided her to the pallet. “Will you lie down?”

  Beulah slid onto the unrolled mattress.

  “Lie back.”

  Beulah scooted back and lay down. Yehfe came and sat beside her. “Do you know what to do?” she asked. “I mean, have you been with a woman before?”

  “No, I have never been with a female in the way that you mean. But I understand the energies in the body and how to manipulate them.”

  He placed one hand on her. Beulah nearly jackknifed off the bedding. Yehfe waited for her to calm. He placed his second hand on her forehead.

  “Close your eyes.”

  She did, and Yehfe showed her wonders. He showed her distant galaxies that he’d visited. He let her hear the sound of a birdlike creature on a far off world.

  “That’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  “Yes.”

  She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that he didn’t speak. She’d heard him in her head. His hands roamed her skin gently, not touching anything interesting. Still, it was the most intimate thing she’d ever experienced. Especially while he was inside her head.

  “I am sorry for the intrusion,” he said into her mind.

  “No,” she said out loud. “Please. Stay.”

  Yehfe caressed her face. He made circles in the center of her forehead. The pattern and the pace made her feel like she mattered.

  Then his fingers traced down to her throat. He blazed a path where ever his fingers touched. Her pulse sped up while her breaths deepened. She began to feel light-headed.

  Yehfe’s hands came to rest on her heart and she felt it fill, so heavy she couldn’t raise up.

  “Pray with me,” he said.