Sinner: A Bad Boy MC Romance

by Romi Hart

“I can handle that. Goodnight, Mina.”

  “Goodnight, Jasper. Be safe.” I hung up and felt like I was going to pass out standing up. I was so incredibly tired, but I was also content. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I’d been a happy child, if a little restless, but I was never particularly satisfied. And since I’d lost my father, I’d felt so alone, like nobody understood me or really cared to try. Wasn’t it strange that the man I had always blamed for that loss and that emptiness seemed to fill a hole in me that had always been there and grown larger over the years?

  Chapter 8

  Jasper

  I’d never been much of a chef, but I had a few specialties, and I decided I’d have to whip out one of them to impress Mina for lunch. It couldn’t be something that took a long time; I’d had a late night shutting down the bar without enough sleep the night before, so if I was going to be any kind of good company, I had to get some sleep.

  So, I sent a text that I hoped didn’t wake Mina when I got home, set an alarm for eleven, and passed out. I got up feeling rested and anxious, and I headed down to the corner market to grab the essentials for a quick stir fry. It was simple enough, and yet it still had a bit of class to it. I got started right away when I got home, brewing some iced tea to go with it. I tried to think if I’d ever specifically cooked for a woman before, and I realized this was a first for me. Sure, when Cindy was sick, I’d made food, getting her whatever she could manage to keep down. But it was never the sort of thing I did to impress her.

  I laughed at myself, trying to figure out what had come over me. I thought it might be a combination of things. I’d spent so long doing what everyone else needed or wanted – the military, a sick wife, a prison stint, and even an MC trying to boss me around – that it could be ingrained in me to please others. Then again, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I wanted to do my own thing, and this was my attempt at adulting.

  I also knew that the brief period of time I’d had with Cindy had showed me how beautiful a relationship could be. I’d had other women before that, other girlfriends and flings, but none of them had captured my heart for even a second. Cindy had been my everything, and I’d lost her. I’d eventually convinced myself she wouldn’t want me to mourn her for the rest of my life, and now that I had a second chance to make a real life for myself, I thought I might be ready to move on.

  And something told me that Mina was my second chance at something special.

  We shared a dark past, from opposite ends of the spectrum, but that gave us a special bond that I hadn’t even had with Cindy. And the more I thought about the woman I was preparing lunch for, the more I recognized the feelings swirling inside me. They were very much like what I’d felt with Cindy – completion, admiration, mutual respect. And on top of that, Mina was feisty, a strong woman who didn’t need anyone. That had probably been the only difficult thing about Cindy. She wasn’t strong, and she needed me. She needed someone to take care of her, reassure her, boost her up when she was uncertain. I had a feeling I would never experience that with Mina.

  And no matter how much I worried that she would get over this little jaunt into the realm of the lower social classes, I sensed that she wasn’t like that. When she said she didn’t see a gap between us, I believed her, and that was utterly fascinating.

  Introspection always made me lose track of time, and when I looked up at the clock, I cursed. I turned the burner down to ‘warm’ and hurried to get dressed and fix my hair. I stared at my reflection, trying to decide if I liked what I saw. When I was younger, people used to mistake me for the front man of a very popular rock band, and I wondered if the last ten years had been so hard on me that I’d never mistakenly be asked for an autograph again.

  I could resent the time I’d lost all day long. In the end, I’d only stolen it from myself. I’d been overconfident in my skills, letting my time in Special Ops go to my head. And Sam was right – I’d been too focused on the prize and the plan to take into consideration the peripheral danger. So, all resenting those ten years would accomplish was beating myself up. I didn’t look like most of the guys I knew in the joint. I didn’t look washed up or aged beyond my years. I didn’t have quite a much of a jaded, haunted look in my eyes. And I’d never given up hope. I just had a certain maturity to my features that hadn’t been there before I’d lost everything and had to start fresh.

  I flipped off the bathroom light. I needed to stop comparing myself to the past. I really was starting fresh, and the fact that Mina would arrive any minute was a big step in the right direction. I went to check on the food, turning off the fire just as the knock sounded. I smiled, wiping my hands and taking the few steps across the small box of an apartment to open it.

  Mina beamed at me and pushed up on her toes to plant a quick kiss on my lips be way of greeting. I moved back to let her in, noting she was just as delicious in a regular t-shirt and jeans as she was when she dressed to kill. She sniffed the air with an appreciative expression, and I led the way to the kitchen without a word.

  “What is that wonderful aroma?” she asked finally, looking at me with eager eyes. There was a teasing glint to them, and I had a brief thought she might be referring to my cologne.

  I didn’t retort, instead, getting out bowls and glasses. “I made a shrimp stir fry. I hope you’re not allergic to shellfish.”

  “Nope. Shrimp is my favorite. And I’m starving. I had quite a workout this morning.”

  I raised an eyebrow at her. “You spend a lot of time at the gym.”

  She blushed. “It’s become an outlet for me, emotionally. And to be honest, it gives me something to do, something to look forward to every day.”

  I hadn’t considered that her life would bore her. I was under the impression that money opened doors, but then again, too much money and the ability to never work a day in your life I supposed could add up to a whole lot of nothing. I started serving and said, “Well, at least it’s a healthy obsession. And if it’s a release for you, all the better.”

  I was only a little surprised when she reached into the freezer and pulled out the ice tray, filling the two glasses while I worked on the food. While I had these images of servants running around her house, cooking and cleaning and waiting on her hand and foot, I realized that wasn’t her personality at all. She wasn’t the type to sit back and let everyone else do the work when she was perfectly capable. I liked that about her.

  “I have the feeling you did the same thing when you were in prison,” she said, so casually it made me halt what I was doing to glance at her. I knew people with records like mine who couldn’t address incarceration so lightly, and it said a lot about her. She didn’t intend to handle me with kid gloves, and she didn’t shy away from difficult conversations.

  So, I took a page from her book and started talking. “Inside, you have a few options. You can align yourself with one of the racist groups or criminal groups that run drugs and other contraband, and you can count on their protection. You can get violent and dominate your cell block, making everyone fear you in order to gain respect. You can be a bitch and let everyone do whatever they want to you. Or you can keep your head down and find constructive things to do with your time while staying out of the basic political spectrum of the joint. That’s what I chose to do.” I jerked my head toward the table, and we sat down. “I studied, spent a lot of my spare time alone in my cell, reading. And when I was out of the cage, I released my aggression and the claustrophobia in the gym.”

  She nodded, chewing. “This is delicious, by the way.”

  “Thank you. I don’t cook a lot, but I have a few good recipes.”

  “I have a huge house. You know what it looks like. And I live alone. It’s too much space for one person, and I still go stir crazy like I’m in a small box if I spend too much time there. All my friends have their trainers come to the house, but I like getting out into the world. I feel more normal when I’m out in the real world, where people work and buy groceries and go to classes.
I went to an all-girl private school all the way through high school, so there are times I wonder if I’m not properly socialized.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think you have a problem. You find the right words at the right time. I’ve spent my whole life barely talking at all. First the military, then prison. I’m a mess.”

  She shook her head. “You’re doing just fine with me. And you have friends, right?”

  Shrugging, I thought about Sam and the others in the MC, the guys I was avoiding when possible to stay out of their greed-driven need for crime. “I have some guys I’ve known since we were kids who are still around. Our interests aren’t as in sync as they used to be, though.”

  “I get it. I still hang out with the same girls from childhood. They were the ones I was with last night. And I know they don’t understand me. They’re the spoiled privileged kids. I never wanted to be spoiled.” She pointed to the plate, which was already half empty, with her fork. “Which is why you can’t do this for me very often.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, and the conversation eased into more general topics, with less implication. Still, I found it interesting that she felt as out of place in society as I did. Maybe being wealthy wasn’t so wonderful after all.

  Mina

  It was so easy. I’d been in large groups of people and small, intimate gatherings. I’d been one-on-one with friends and with lovers. Nothing had ever come this easy for me. Sitting there with Jasper, talking about random thoughts and personal insecurities was the easiest, most comfortable thing I’d ever done, including the relationship I had with my personal trainer. I thought it was pretty sad that was the closest comparison I had – a business relationship based on him being a slave driver.

  But it didn’t matter because I had this now, and I knew without a doubt that I could never settle for less again. Even if things didn’t work out with Jasper for whatever reason, I would seek this camaraderie in every relationship going forward.

  And the attraction would have to come with it.

  Even as we talked like old friends, I couldn’t help the way my eyes roamed over him, taking in every detail. He reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t obsess, though. I focused on him, remembering the way he felt under my hands, the way he moved over my body, and the things he could do to me with his mouth. By the time we’d eaten a second helping of his fabulous stir fry, I knew I wasn’t leaving without some kind of physical satisfaction.

  “That was delicious,” I told him, gathering the dishes and rinsing them as I stacked them in the sink.

  “You don’t have to do that,” he said, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my hips.

  “I know. But I clean up after myself.” It felt homey, and I liked the way he rested his chin on my shoulder while I worked. I used to imagine scenarios like this, though in my fantasies, I’d been married to someone for years, and it was a quiet moment at night after the kids went to bed. The man in my dreams didn’t have a face, and I never saw the children, just knew they were asleep in their respective rooms. This, though, was better. It was real. Jasper wasn’t some perfect dream guy without faults, and I wasn’t in some mausoleum of a house that I obsessed over keeping clean. Granted, I liked the newness of things with him, the mystery and evolution that came with every time we met, but I also liked how it felt as if we’d known each other for a long time and didn’t need to work at our mutual comfort. There was nothing awkward about it, and his nearness eased my tension more than a three-hour session at the gym.

  “If you want dessert, I can run down and get some ice cream or something,” he offered.

  I turned off the tap and twisted around to face him, my need growing exponentially with the suggestion in his words. I slipped my arms around his neck, draping them loosely on his shoulders, and gazed up at him through my lashes. “I had something else in mind.”

  I didn’t have to explain at all. His eyes darkened with desire, and I tilted my head back, welcoming his lips and tongue with my own. He took his time, tormenting my mouth with sweet strokes and quick teasing flicks, peppered with nips of his teeth and lips. I was ready to crawl out of my skin before his hands found their way under the hem of my shirt and to my breasts. They were heavy in his hands, the nipples hard nubs begging for attention, and he didn’t disappoint, slipping his fingers under the thin material and pinching, brushing his thumbs over them in the most stimulating way.

  He withdrew from the kiss and pressed his lips to my ear, his breath tickling along the ridge and through my hair. God, I loved the way that felt! “Should we have dessert in the bedroom, then?”

  I thought about that for the space of a heartbeat but decided I had other ideas in that regard, too. “Actually, I think we should stay in the kitchen. That’s generally where you eat, right?”

  Jasper lifted his head and gazed at me, his eyes full of surprise and interest. I must have struck a chord with him because I could see the excitement barely contained beneath his smooth, callous exterior. “Is that so? Well, I guess I’ll let you dish out the servings today.”

  The euphemisms made me laugh, but it came out hoarse and sultry, and Jasper ravaged my mouth again as I reached for his fly. This one was button down and took far more work than I expected, so when I freed the last one, I made a celebratory sound in my throat that he promptly swallowed. I shoved my hand inside his jeans, finding his cock as it all but jumped into my hand eagerly. I didn’t know if my memory just couldn’t hold onto the actual size of him or if he was larger today than he had been before, but I was still in awe and impressed.

  I pushed him back, breaking the kiss and letting him draw my shirt over my head before directing him to one of the kitchen chairs. He sat down without hesitation, and I dropped to my knees in front of him, worshiping his cock with my eyes and the palms of my hands as I ran them up both sides of his length. A deep groan came from deep in his chest, and I took a firm grip on his base, glanced up to meet his eyes, and then pulled his tip into my mouth with a dip of my head.

  “Fuck!” he cried, his whole body jerking as I licked a circle around his head. “Sorry,” he moaned.

  I released him and raised an eyebrow. “Is it really that good?”

  “God, yes,” he croaked.

  “Then don’t apologize,” I told him, and this time, I drew him in deeper, stroking my fist up his length to meet my lips. I ran my tongue up the underside of him, and he hissed and panted in response. I had him completely under my control, and it was empowering. I scraped my teeth gently over the skin on all sides, made long strokes with my tongue, and swept my hand up and down his length, reveling in his reaction to the attention as well as his clean, masculine taste.

  I felt him twitch in my mouth as I swallowed him in as deep as I could go, his length too much to take all the way when added to his girth, and I slowly drew my lips up his shaft, sucking with just enough pressure that I could taste the first salty hint of pre-cum on my tongue. When I backed away, his eyes were hooded but his face was a mask of tension. Jasper reached out, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me too my feet, and he went to work removing the rest of my clothes.

  My bra fell to the ground, and he shoved impatiently at my jeans until I could kick them off with my panties. I hadn’t worn lingerie, but I’d found an acceptable set of baby blue, with a lace thong and demi bra, which seemed to do the trick. And this time, it didn’t matter because we both just wanted to be skin to skin. I bent and pulled his jeans and boxers all the way down while he tore at his shirt, and then he pulled me to stand between his legs, taking one taut peak into his mouth where he rolled and licked and bit until I could barely keep from coming. With a drag of his tongue across the valley in between, he repeated the gesture with the other nipple, and I was gone. I moaned loudly and let my head fall back, basking in his attention and not wanting to beg for more. I knew just how much he could offer, and I didn’t need to beg, only had to wait.

  Even as he worked me into a frenzy, stimulat
ing my breasts until I was heaving for air, his fingers tickled along my stomach, around my back, and down to my ass, kneading and massaging erotically. I fisted my hands in his hair, holding his mouth tight to my chest as I shifted, straddling him where he sat in the chair. He adjusted his hands, supporting my weight at my lower back, and the pressure there had sparks of electricity shooting up and down my spine as my body reacted, creating the natural lubricant that poured out and onto my thighs.

  I eased myself over him, lining up with his massive cock, and he held me there for a moment as he looked up at me with eyes full of wonder. “God, you’re so perfect,” he whispered, and I could see the adoration in his expression. But there was something else, too, something frightened, like a small child or a puppy. “Are you on birth control?”

  I smiled down at him and kissed him soundly, languidly, and with enough enticement to have him groaning and his cock twitching as I hovered above. “I am.” I could see having kids with this man, imagine their beautiful icy blue eyes and dark hair, but like him, I certainly was in no place to take that route just yet. We needed each other now, not more people to be responsible for.

  I didn’t wait for him to release me. Instead, I slammed down on him, impaling myself with such force that I cried out and shook with the incredible pleasure of having him wrapped completely inside me. His cock throbbed, and my inner walls convulsed, trying to send me over the edge, but I wasn’t ready yet. I slid up and then down again, my toes barely touching the floor enough to leverage myself. But the added support of his hands made it work, and I found a slow but definitive rhythm that continuously heightened my pleasure without crossing the threshold that would cause the levee to break.

  I wasn’t expecting the explosion when it came, on the heels of a thrust from Jasper as he pushed his hips forward with my downward motion. But it changed the angle just enough, pressing that button inside, and the release was an unstoppable flood of heat in my veins and over his cock. He groaned, and he scratched his teeth over my shoulder, making me wince but also deepening the orgasm for me with the smallest of touches. I rode harder, the wave controlling me, and before it had completely dissipated, a second took over, fuller and broader than the first.