Screwdriver

by Mari Carr

  The morning after their first date, they’d decided to take things slow, agreeing they should ease into the relationship. Casey had suggested they try to keep it within the realm of normal dating—phone calls, maybe an occasional lunch, a proper date on the weekend.

  That idea lasted about five minutes.

  The three of them had become inseparable, only parting during work hours. Even then Gabriel and Jordan burned up the IM lines, chatting constantly. Casey had decided to renovate her office last week, finding a way to spend even the work hours with her.

  In the beginning, they’d taken turns staying at each other’s places, but that too had fallen to the wayside. Jordan’s bed was far too small, so the nights they’d spent at her place usually found them all on the floor together. Casey’s studio apartment was simply too messy for Jordan’s and Gabriel’s neat streaks. The fine layer of dust from his sculpting covered everything and one night they’d ended up drawing on each other with the chalky film, laughing themselves to sleep.

  As a result, they’d set up their love nest at Gabriel’s house. His king-size bed more than supported them and their sexual adventures, plus the housekeeper came once a week, which kept Casey in check. It was win-win for all of them.

  Jordan chatted with Casey about the changes he was making in her office as the hostess seated them. They were debating what color to paint the walls. Jordan insisted white was fine, while Casey fought valiantly for a deep green or burgundy.

  “It’s an office, Casey, not a living room.”

  “Who says you can’t have color at work? This is the problem with the world. Everyone settles for boring, for the accepted norm.”

  “Not everyone,” Gabriel said, reminding them of their far-from-boring lifestyle.

  Jordan blushed.

  Unable to resist, Gabriel stroked the back of his finger along her cheek. “After all this time, Jordy? Still blushing?”

  She didn’t apologize, didn’t pretend to be embarrassed. They were beyond that stage. “I was remembering last night and thinking that was as far from normal as possible.”

  Casey laughed. “I’m not sure, but I think what we did might be illegal in several states.”

  Gabriel shook his head at the joke and then subtly readjusted his pants. His cock should have been exhausted from their endless nights of exploration and fucking. Instead the damn thing had an obnoxious habit of popping up whenever and wherever it wanted to.

  “I’d risk jail to try that again. Maybe tonight Casey and I could switch positions.”

  “Gabe?” a female voice said beside him.

  Gabriel’s heart stuttered. His mind must be playing tricks on him.

  “Gabriel.”

  He looked up, trying to convince himself he wasn’t about to face her, wasn’t about to see the one woman he’d hoped to never see again in his life.

  His luck didn’t hold.

  Paula stood next to his table. Shit.

  Glancing back, he saw Jordan’s curiosity and Casey’s scowl.

  Taking a deep breath, he faced his ex once more. “Hello, Paula.”

  His gaze flew to Jordan when he heard her soft gasp. Her eyes widened as she looked first at him and then at the woman standing beside them.

  Gabriel tried to force a casual politeness to his voice. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

  Paula hadn’t changed a bit in two years. He had found her youthful beauty charming when they’d dated. Now she looked far too plastic, too fake. Though her makeup was done tastefully, it was definitely a bit thicker than she used to wear it. Gabriel glanced at Jordan’s clear complexion. He’d once marveled over how she could be ready—shower to door—and look totally hot in less than twenty minutes.

  “I’m visiting friends.” Paula looked at the other people at his table. “Hello, Casey. It’s nice to see you again.”

  Gabriel had to give his friend props for having his back. Casey didn’t even feign politeness. Instead he simply nodded and said, “Paula,” in a tone that suggested her name left a bad taste in his mouth.

  Gabriel fought not to grin and high-five his mate when Paula briefly narrowed her eyes, seemingly hurt by the insult.

  “I don’t believe you and I have met,” Paula said to Jordan, and then looked at Gabriel for introductions.

  “Paula Robinson, this is Jordan Lance. Jordan,” he sighed. “This is Paula.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Paula’s smile seemed to belie her polite tone and Gabriel was surprised to see what looked like jealousy in her eyes.

  Paula returned her attention to him. “Actually, I was going to call you tomorrow, Gabriel.”

  “Why?”

  If she was taken aback by his brusque question, she recovered quickly. “I was hoping we could get together. Maybe for lunch. I wanted to talk to you.”

  Gabriel felt the stifling silence at the table and knew Jordan and Casey were holding their breath as they waited for his reply. “We don’t have anything left to say to each other.”

  It was true. He’d fought for years to forget her and he had. Jordan and Casey had helped him move on.

  Paula shuffled a bit, clearly uncomfortable with the audience. “Maybe you don’t have anything to say, but I do.”

  “Then say it now.”

  “Could we step outside?”

  He shook his head. “Now or never, Paula.” He was being an ass. He didn’t care.

  “Gabe.” Jordan touched his hand. “Maybe you should hear what she has to say.”

  Paula smiled at Jordan appreciatively.

  “Jordy—”

  Jordan rubbed his knuckles, the light touch surprisingly comforting. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

  Casey crossed his arms and scowled. Gabriel suspected his friend wanted to dispute Jordan’s suggestion, but he remained silent.

  Gabriel shook his head. “No. If you have something to say, Paula, say it here. I have no secrets from my friends.”

  She didn’t hesitate. “Fine. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for everything that happened. I know you’ll probably never forgive me. I’m not even sure you should, but I wanted to say that to you.”

  Gabriel would have given his last penny to hear those words a year ago. His wounded pride would have considered it his due, loved seeing her eat crow. Now it didn’t matter. There wasn’t any anger left to soothe.

  “It’s okay, Paula. I do forgive you.”

  Her face softened. “You do?”

  “Yeah. It’s all in the past.” He smiled at Casey and Jordan. “I’ve moved on.”

  Paula tilted her head as if confused by the group dynamics at the table. He didn’t bother to enlighten her. Though Jordan’s friends and his parents knew of their unusual relationship, they hadn’t come out to the world at large. Not that they were hiding it. The three of them had hit at least half a dozen restaurants in the past month, but to the casual observer, he suspected they simply appeared to be friends going out for a meal.

  “I see.” Her tone proved she really didn’t. “Well, it was lovely seeing you again.” Paula pointed to a table in the corner. “I suppose I’ll go back and rejoin my friends.”

  “Goodbye, Paula.”

  He hoped the finality in his tone rang through, if not for Paula, at least for the couple sharing the table with him.

  Paula walked away.

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  Jordan rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? I don’t blame you for not wanting to see her, Gabe.”

  Gabriel pointed toward Jordan as he spoke to Casey. “This from the woman who tried to convince me to go outside with my ex-fiancée.” He wasn’t upset or mad. In fact, he felt the same way now as he had when he’d walked into the restaurant.

  Jordan blew out an exasperated breath. “I wasn’t sure which way that was going. I thought you might want to avoid a scene.”

  Gabriel shook his head. “No. I’m tired of not making scenes.” He realized he was tired of hiding his feelings in public. “In fact, I fe
el like making one right now.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. To anyone observing, Gabriel Lawson had just made a very public announcement. He wasn’t merely hanging out with friends. He was dating Jordan Lance.

  He pulled away and tried not to notice the unease in her eyes. “Gabe,” she whispered.

  Casey didn’t hear the undertone in her voice, didn’t catch the fear in her eyes. If he had, Gabriel knew he wouldn’t have made the next fatal move. Casey turned her face toward him with his finger under her chin and kissed her too. It wasn’t a friendly peck. Gabriel let his eyes drift around the restaurant. It was crowded. Only a handful of people had seen the exchange, but their gazes were glued to the table. Some of the faces were shocked; others, curious.

  Only one looked disapproving, angry. Paula’s.

  “Jordan? Are you okay?” Casey’s question told Gabriel he’d noticed her sudden discomfort.

  She nodded, but her stiff posture betrayed the truth. “I thought we were going to lie low for a while.”

  They had discussed at length how to “come out” as a threesome, but the right answer never presented itself. As a result, Jordan requested they keep the appearance of “just friends” in public.

  Gabriel hadn’t realized how deep her desire to hide was. “Whether the world knows it or not, Jordy, the fact remains we’re all here together. We’re dating, sleeping together, in a relationship.”

  “I’m not sure we’ve fully explored what the repercussions of this will be.” Her face was pale as her gaze roamed the room. She was truly afraid.

  “Repercussions?” Casey asked.

  Unfortunately, Paula answered the question for them all. She passed the table with her friends, heading for the exit. Her body was rigid with fury. When she was within earshot, she hissed the word, “Slut,” at Jordan and continued walking.

  Gabriel started to rise, but Jordan’s hand on his arm and her firm voice stopped him.

  “No. Don’t.”

  “If you think I’m going to let her speak to you that way, then—”

  “Forget it. I mean it. She won’t be the last to make that judgment.”

  “The fuck she won’t,” Casey said angrily. “I dare anybody to use that word about you again.”

  “Listen. I think maybe we should call it a night.”

  “Jordan, no, I’m sorry we—” Gabriel began, but she cut his apology short.

  “I have a headache anyway. I might just go back to my own apartment tonight. I’m not sure I’d be much fun.”

  “Don’t do this, baby,” Casey pleaded.

  “Can you guys take me home? Please.” Her voice broke slightly and the sound ripped Gabriel to shreds. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears. He knew Jordan. Knew how much she’d hate to fall apart in public.

  “Sure, Jordy. Why don’t you let Casey take you to the car and I’ll settle up the bill?”

  She nodded gratefully.

  It was a quiet trip. After dropping Jordan and Casey off at their apartments, he headed home, on his own for the first time in weeks.

  As he crawled into bed, one thing was abundantly clear. He didn’t like sleeping alone.

  * * * * *

  She’d blown it last night. The words kept rambling around in her head until Jordan thought it would explode. Everything had been going great. For once, her life felt perfect. Then, in the blink of an eye, the old Jordan returned to the surface and fucked it all up.

  Jordan picked up Elias’ glass of scotch from the end of the bar and delivered it to his table. Elias was a regular at Books and Brew every Thursday and Saturday evening. Sophie liked to joke they could set their watches by his appearances. He was a college professor and lately he’d become a dear friend. He was considerably older and wiser than them. As a result, they’d all sought him out for advice at one point or another.

  “That was a heavy sigh from someone who’s been bouncing around here for weeks. I was afraid your friends were going to have to start strapping you down to keep your happy feet on the ground.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  Elias gestured to the empty chair next to him. “Want to talk about it?”

  She plopped down in the chair. “Yeah. I do.”

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “I feel like I’m living on borrowed time.”

  “How so?”

  Jordan took a deep breath and said the words she’d found impossible to say to anyone except her closest girlfriends. Not that telling Stephanie, Jayne and Sophie about her venture into a committed threesome had been easy. The only difference was she knew their love was unconditional and they wouldn’t judge her or look at her as if she were a slut. Not like Paula Robinson had last night when she’d realized Jordan was with Gabe and Casey.

  “I guess you’ve been wondering why I’ve been so happy lately.”

  Elias shrugged. “I don’t think it’s too hard to figure out you’ve fallen in love.”

  Jordan winced. She had fallen completely in love, though she hadn’t told her guys yet. It had been on the tip of her tongue so many times, but something always held her back.

  “I have.”

  “Did the man break up with you?”

  Jordan shook her head. “Oh no. Nothing like that. We’re still together and very happy.”

  “Then I’m confused.”

  “I haven’t fallen in love with just one man. I’ve fallen for two.”

  “Ah.” Elias nodded slowly. “Well, that is a predicament. And now you’re faced with choosing one over the other. I don’t envy you that decision.”

  “No. Actually, the choice has already been made in that regard.”

  Elias tilted his head, his eyes asking the question.

  “I chose both of them.”

  She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry over Elias’ shocked expression. “Both?”

  “I’m dating two men.”

  “And they know this?”

  “It’s a threesome deal.”

  Elias rubbed a hand over his face and she knew she’d thrown him for a pretty big loop. “I see. I have to admit, Jordan, I’m surprised to hear this. Personally, Stephanie would have gotten my vote as the Books and Brew woman most likely to go for a ménage. No offense, of course.”

  “None taken. She would have gotten my vote too.”

  “So I guess we’re back to figuring out why you’re blue. Your men are happy with the arrangement?”

  Jordan nodded. “Yes. They proposed it.”

  “And you’re happy?”

  “Over-the-moon ecstatic. I’ve never been happier in my life, Elias.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  Jordan frowned. “Didn’t you hear me? I’m in a committed threesome. Don’t you think that’s a bit out there? I mean, what will people say when they figure it out?”

  “I assume if they care about you, they’ll ask the same questions I just did and then be happy for you.”

  He was right. Her friends had made sure she was comfortable with the relationship and then they’d thrown their full support behind her. “What about the ones who don’t care about me?”

  “Do they matter that much?”

  Her heart said no, but her head couldn’t let go of its damn practicality. “Gabriel’s an important businessman. What if the unorthodox nature of his personal life came out? It could cost him money or deals or something like that.”

  “I think Gabriel knows his business well enough to deal with that should it occur.”

  “Yeah. I guess. But there are people who care about us who still might not get this. There’s Casey’s father. I know he’s worried about how his dad will respond. What if his dad flips out and disowns him? They were really tight growing up. I think it would kill Casey to lose him. And I haven’t even mentioned my parents. Holy crap. They’ll freak out big-time. My dad owns guns, you know. There’s a very real chance he’ll try to kill Gabe and Casey for corrupting his little girl.”

  Elias lau
ghed, though Jordan didn’t mean her words as a joke. Finally, he said, “Those are all very valid, very real concerns. So it does come down to a choice after all. Either Gabriel and Casey are worth the fuss—the father’s fury, the mother’s tears, the covert, disapproving glances from strangers—or they aren’t. Which is it, Jordan?”

  She was silent for a moment. Not because she didn’t have her answer. She did. It was just a hard one to speak aloud.

  “It would be nice if happiness was always easy, but sometimes there is a cost,” Elias continued. “Are you willing to pay the toll?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I am. I’ve just never been particularly bold like Steph. I’m very uncomfortable with people looking at me, with being in the limelight for any reason. This doesn’t come natural to me.”

  “There’s a famous quote I think of often when facing a difficult task. ‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger.’ You’re stronger than you know, Jordan.”

  His compliment warmed her heart. She took a deep breath and let the words become the truth. Jordan stood, feeling at least a ton lighter than she had when she sat down. Bending forward, she placed a kiss on Elias’ cheek. “Thanks for the advice and for understanding. That drink’s on the house.”

  She walked back to the bar smiling.

  She’d be strong. She’d be bold.

  She’d be happy.

  Chapter Nine

  Casey watched as Gabriel led Jordan up the stairs and down the hallway to her new office. They’d blindfolded her so they could surprise her.

  Casey had kicked her out of her office over a week ago, setting up a temporary one downstairs. He’d forbidden her to step foot on the stairs since then.

  From the expression on Gabriel’s face, his friend was still reeling from last night’s unhappy ending. They’d fucked up. Pushed Jordan too far, too fast. They’d spent half the morning on the phone trying to figure out how to make amends with her. The only option they could see was to promise not to instigate any more public displays until she was more comfortable.

  They’d been idiots to kiss her like that in the restaurant. Jordan wasn’t happy being in the public eye. She preferred to keep her private life private.