The Ordeal of Mrs. Snow

by Patrick Quentin

  That was the week before uncle Joe was shot dead. But first of all uncle Frank came down to stay in Philadelphia. He lived in a hotel just near and we had a lot of fun the first day or two though he whispered a lot to Anna and they had a secret which I dident know.

  And one nite he came in late before mummie was back from work. I heard him say to Anna good god its worse than I thought. I saw her and weve got to stop it. And when mummie came in I pretended I was going to the bathroom. But really I went and listened a bit. And I heard uncle Frank saying Ill kill Joe Pinker for this. He ought to be ashamed and him with a wife and three kids in the Bronx. And mummie said well its a job and he got it for me and you couldent get me one. Uncle Frank got very mad and said if you call it a job taking all your clothes off in front of people. And mummie said she dident take off all her clothes and it was singing mostly. And he said a little goes a long way or something. Mummie must have been crying cos uncle Frank said dont cry Dot you can always marry me and Ill love you in any case. And mummie said she couldent marry him cos daddy wasent properly dead yet. And uncle Frank said hed stick around any how.

  And then Anna came spying on me and made me go back to bed. So I asked her why mummie took off her clothes in front of people. She said hush child and go to sleep.

  And next day the misterious thing happened. It was the day that uncle Joe was shot dead. Mummie was out to a rehersal or something. Anna and I were eating lunch in the kitchen when the bell rang. Anna went to the door and dident come back for a long time. When I went to look for her she wasent there or anywhere. And I was sort of scared in case it was a burglar or something. And I looked out of the window. And down in the street on a corner I saw Anna. But she hadent got a hat or coat on.

  She was talking to an old man with white hair who Id never seen before. Then after a bit she threw her arms around him and kissed him and he kissed her. And when she came back home she was singing like anything and ever so happy.

  I said Anna I believe you got a sweat hart cos I saw you kissing him on the corner. And she said yes hes my old sweat hart come back to his Anna. So I said will you marry him and go away from me. And she said never never darling and she squeezed me so tight something started to creak.

  Then she told me that if I was a good girl she would take me to see her sweat hart in his hotel that afternoon. But it was to be a surprise and I musent tell mummie. So I promised.

  And before we went she brushed my hair for a long time very hard and she wouldent let me ware the pink pearls mummie gave me or any jewelry. And she took all the red off my fingernails cos she said her friend was sort of old fashioned and dident like makeup on young girls.

  Then she told me I was to be very careful not to say anything about her friend looking old or funny cos he had been ill for a long time.

  Then we went out into a very crowded street to a little hotel which smelt nasty and then up into a room which smelt nasty to. And there was Annas old man sitting by the window. He jumped up when we came in and took me in his arms saying so this is my own darling little Beverly. And I couldent stop him kissing me though I struggled a bit.

  When he put me down he said arent you glad to see your poor old daddy. But I laughed and said you arent my daddy. My daddy was young and hansome with black hair and lots of white teeth. But he kept saying he was my daddy although his teeth were sort of black and they werent all there. And Anna said he is your daddy and the Japs were very crool to him in prison and that’s why he isent young any more.

  And I was very polite and said isent it funny that daddy looks older and mummie looks younger all the time and the man who said he was my daddy asked me how would you like to go away with me and Anna baby. And I said if mummie comes to.

  Then he started asking me all sorts of questions about mummie and uncle Joe. And he got very stern. And Anna kept saying things to him in Sweedish which I dident understand. And he was mad about something cos he dident kiss me when we left. But he said he was coming to see mummie after dinner tonite but not to tell her cos it was a surprise. And then he said some more to Anna in Sweedish and after that we said goodby.

  And Anna cried a bit when I said I dident like my old new daddy much. And she shook her head and said theres murder in his hart and I for one dont blame him if he does. And I asked her what she meant. But she shook her head again and said we must think up some way to stop this. So before we went home she went to uncle Franks hotel. But I dont know what she said to him cos she left me in the lobby. And a kind old gentleman saw me there and said well little girl youre a bit young to be alone in a hotel lobby. And I smiled at him very politely and he gave me an ice cream cone.

  It was all awful misterious. I dident know if my daddy who was sort of dead really was this old daddy who had come back. And I dident know what Anna meant by murder in his hart. But I knew what murder is cos Ive seen it lots of times in the movies. And I like murder movies best.

  But everything seemed alright that evening. Anna cooked a speshially good dinner and mummie looked lovely in her black dress with the bracelet on. Uncle Joe came to dinner and we had sham pain. And Anna wouldent take any. And she shut her mouth kind of tite when uncle Joe tried to make her.

  And then after dinner when mummie went to put on her things to go to the theater the bell rang. I went to the door with Anna and uncle Frank was there. He was all panting. And he said good god Anna hes got a gun and I cant get it from him and hell be up here any minute and all hell will brake lose. And Anna said what shall we do.

  Then she looked at me and said Beverly do you want your daddy to go to prison again. And I said well I suppose not.

  Then Anna whispered to uncle Frank and he took 5 dollars from his pocket. And Anna said he would give it to me if I would do something for her and uncle Frank.

  And I said what is it. And she said do you know what a gun is cos your daddy has got one in his pocket. And I said proudly of course I know what a gun is and I know how to use one cos Ive seen it in the movies. Then she said they would give me 5 dollars if I took the gun from my daddys pocket the same way I took the bracelet from uncle Joe. And I would never be wipped or punished for it.

  And I said I would try.

  So I waited outside in the hall with uncle Frank until daddy came up the stairs. And when I saw him I put up my arms and said hello daddy. But he dident kiss me or speak to me. He just started talking very fast to uncle Frank. And I remembered how I used to go through my daddys pockets when I was a little girl looking for presents and things. So I pretended to be a little girl and I said have you got a present for me daddy. Then I put my hands in his pocket and there was the gun. It was quite a little one and not a bit heavy. Daddy dident seem to notice me taking it cos he was still talking so fast to uncle Frank.

  Then daddy pushed past me into the apartment with his hat on. And I ran to the kitchen and gave Anna the gun. She said thank god for that. And put it in the kitchen drawer of the table with sort of a shiver. And as she shut the drawer I saw someone standing by the door watching her. But I couldent see very well who it was.

  Then Anna gave me the 5 dollars and told me to go in to our bedroom and not to come out until I was told to.

  So I went in to the bedroom. But I opened the door a little bit so I could hear things. And I heard daddy go stomping into the living room and there were loud voices. Then mummie screamed and said George I thought you were dead, I swear it. And then I heard a bump and uncle Frank’s voice said leave him to me George. Then there was another bump and mummie screamed again. And then Anna went rushing in from the kitchen and said youve killed him George. We must get a doctor.

  And after a bit I saw uncle Frank and Anna carrying uncle Joe into mummies bedroom. And there was blood on his face and he was all kind of limp.

  Then they went back into the living room and started to talk all at once. And I tiptoed out in mummies room to look at uncle Joe cos I’d never seen anyone dead not even in the movies.

  But he wasent dead at all. When he saw me he
sat up and started to swear at me. And he said its you you theeving little bastard. Well Im going to have you put in prison along with your mother and the rest of them. Then he tried to sit up on the bed and he looked real scarey with the blood all over his face. So I ran away.

  And as I told mister Pratt the policeman I dont know what happened after that. But there was an awful bang. Then uncle Frank came running up to me. He picked me up in his arms and gave me to Anna saying get the kid out of here before the police come. George has shot him.

  Then he took some keys from his pocket and gave them to Anna saying quick take her over to my room at the hotel. She’ll be alright there and Ill come over later.

  So Anna and I went to uncle Franks hotel. And Anna left me there. It was a lovely big room and there were lots of little bottles which smelt almost as nice as mummies perfumes. And I tried most of them. It was quite fun.

  And after a while uncle Frank came in alone and he looked a bit stern for him. He said Beverly theres been a terrible accident and your uncle Joe has been shot dead. And I said oh.

  Then he told me that a policeman was coming to talk to me and ask me some questions. And I was to be very careful and tell the truth cos the police thought daddy had done it. But daddy said he hadent.

  Then uncle Frank went out and came back with mister Pratt. He is a very nice policeman and quite young like Dick Tracy. And he shook hands very politely with me. Then he said youre quite a girl arent you and that was a fine brave thing you did taking your fathers gun from him. So I suppose Anna or uncle Frank told him about it.

  Then he asked me lots of questions about how I was getting along at school and how I liked uncle Joe and which room I slept in. Then I told him all about mummies having colds and how uncle Joe and uncle Frank loved mummie and wanted to marry her. When I saw uncle Frank looking a bit cross I said quickly that uncle Frank was much kinder than uncle Joe and loved mummie ever so much more. And mister Pratt said hum hum.

  Then he turned to uncle Frank and said if only George Braun had shot him in the heat of a quarel there isent a jury in the world would send him to prison. And as it is he probably wont get more than a year or so being a war hero and all that.

  Then mister Pratt asked me if anyone had been in the kitchen when Anna put the gun in the drawer. And I said there was someone standing by the door but I wasent sure who it was. And he said if it was your daddy that would make it a sinch. And I said I would try to remember who it was.

  Then he said thats right try to remember all you can and well have another chat tomorrow. So thats why I am writeing this down so I can remember everything.

  And after uncle Frank and mister Pratt had gone Anna came in to sleep with me. But I wasent a bit sleepy. So I made Anna tell me all about what had happened and what the police were going to do.

  She told me that they were holding daddy at the police station cos he had said he was in the bathroom when the shot was fired and they dident believe him. And daddy swore he dident do it. He said he dident even know that the gun was gone from his pocket or that it was hidden in the kitchen drawer.

  And Anna said that mummie and uncle Frank were in the living room together when the shot was fired. So that gave them something funny which sounded like Ali Baba and which meant that they couldent have done it.

  And I asked her where were you Anna. And she looked kind of funny and said I was at the telephone calling a doctor when the gun went off. So I asked her why the police dident think she done it cos she knew where the gun was and she hated uncle Joe any how and wanted him to be dead.

  And she said maybe they would accuse her of killing him. And she prayed god she could suffer instead of my daddy who had suffered enough and she was an old woman any how. And she would be glad to go to the electric chair for her George.

  And then I told her mister Pratt said daddy would probably only get a year in prison if he did it. And one year wouldent be so bad for him cos hes sort of used to being in prison any how. And Anna said that was a crool way for a daughter to speak.

  So I said it isent crool Anna cos if you shot uncle Joe yud be sent to the electric chair. And so would uncle Frank or mummie if they did it wouldent they. And she said yes I suppose so but your mummie and uncle Frank had an Ali Baba any how. Then she looked sort of sad and said probably their Ali Baba wouldent do them any good cos the police know now that uncle Frank was in love with your mummie.

  So I said well isent it better for daddy to spend one more year in prison than for anyone else to have to go to the electric chair. But she said to go to sleep.

  But I dident go to sleep for hours and hours. I started thinking how mummie or Anna or uncle Frank might be sent to the electric chair. And how awful that would be. And I thought if daddy did it and went to prison for a while mummie could divorse him and marry uncle Frank. Then she wouldent have to take off her clothes in front of people or mock or mimick any more. And I could be bridesmaid at the wedding. And perhaps mummie would give me the bracelet cos she wouldent want to ware it any more now that uncle Joe was dead.

  And I thought how glad I was uncle Joe was dead and how scared Id been that he would tell daddy about my borrowing the bracelet. For daddy would have wipped me and sent me to reform school as I knew. But if daddy was in prison for a bit he couldent make me go away to school and uncle Frank and mummie wouldent make me never never.

  So I made a secret plan and went to sleep.

  And next day mister Pratt came to see me with an old man who was my daddys lawyer or something. And mister Pratt asked me if Id remembered who it was standing by the kitchen door when Anna put the gun in the drawer. I said no I havent remembered who it was but I do remember it was someone with white hair cos I remember seeing white hair as he turned away.

  And mister Pratt looked at the lawyer and said that clinshes it cos George Braun was the only one with white hair.

  Then the lawyer asked me lots of questions. And I told him how Id seen uncle Joe lying on mummies bed before the shot was fired. And I said that he was swearing and trying to get up. And the lawyer was very excited and said to mister Pratt Ill get Braun to confess and claim self defense and he probably will get off very lightly indeed.

  Then they both thanked me very politely and said I was a good girl. And I was to tell the judge everything very truthfully just as I had told them. And I was to try and remember everything I could. So I have been remembering everything and that is why Ive written it all down so as to tell the judge.

  But I shant tell the judge about the bracelet and the silly doll. I shant tell the judge what I did after uncle Joe swore at me in mummies bedroom and scared me so by saying hed have me sent to prison.

  I shant tell him that I went into the kitchen and got the gun out of the drawer and then went back to mummies room through the bathroom. And I shant tell him that I opened the door a crack and pointed the gun at uncle Joe and then pulled the little thing the way they do in the movies. Or that I dropped the gun and ran back to my room when I heard them coming.

  It would be silly to tell the judge all that because they all think daddy did it and daddy will only get a year or maybe two in prison. But if they knew it was me who shot uncle Joe they might send me to the electric chair.

  And I wouldent like that.

  —A simple child,

  That lightly draws its breath,

  And feels its life in every limb,

  What should it know of death?

  —WORDSWORTH

  THE PIGEON-WOMAN

  Connie Webber was crazy about the pigeons in the square. It was a joke that never grew stale at Mazzoli’s Restaurant—the joke about Connie and the pigeons. Rosa and Shirley, the two other waitresses, who were much younger and who, in a less easygoing establishment, would have treated her with more respect, were kidding her all day long.

  “Say, Rosa, think we could sell a piece to Ripley about Connie and her feathered friends? A hundred birds and a girl.”

  “Hey, Connie, why don’t you buy a coupla ostr
ich fans and give us a dove act?”

  Their young friendly laughter would ring about the crowded little Greenwich Village restaurant, and the regular customers, who were in on the joke, would grin at Connie or pat her broad hip as she passed with a tray piled high with empty spaghetti dishes.

  Sometimes even Mr. Mazzoli himself would emerge from his kitchen, his olive, sweat-shiny face impish under the cocked chef’s cap.

  “Connie mia, you catcha me a coupla dem birds and I make-a the fine piccione alla cacciatore?”

  That was always good for a gale of laughter.

  But Connie didn’t mind being kidded. She was a big blonde with a big smile and a big heart who liked nothing better than a good laugh. She knew they were all fond of her, especially Mr. Mazzoli, who was always threatening to marry her once the restaurant was established and he could find enough time to get out of his kitchen and take her to City Hall. She wasn’t even surprised that they thought her comical. It was kind of crazy—a grown woman of forty-one feeling the way she felt about a bunch of birds. But there it was.

  Whenever she got a chance—in the afternoons, for example, when the lunches were over and before the early dinners started to trickle in—she would slip out to the little shabby square and sit on a bench, watching the pigeons swirl and gleam across the bright sky. Instantly, she would be up with them, flashing, tumbling dizzily in the air. Then one of them would spot her and they would all plunge down for the scraps she always brought from the restaurant—plunge with a clatter of wings, an eager craning of iridescent necks and a regular symphony of coos.

  They made Connie laugh with pleasure.

  Everyone who frequented the square knew Connie. Even the precinct cops—Fred Kitner, Frank O’Mulligan, Sergeant Connors—all of them paused to chat with her when they passed her feeding the pigeons. She was just naturally friendly, and her friendliness was wide enough to embrace not only the pigeons but the whole of Manhattan Island.