Change of Hart

by M. E. Carter

I turned on the spray and tensed just slightly as it gave me a quick blast of cold water before warming up. “He reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age.”

  “Except I doubt you had his memory,” Deuce jabbed. “He probably remembered every single play I’ve ever made.”

  I chuckled and ducked under the spray, cleaning off.

  “I noticed his mom didn’t come this time. What’s her name again?”

  “Addison,” I answered as I grabbed some shampoo.

  “Addison, that’s right,” he said, rinsing the soap out of his hair. “What happened to her? Why didn’t she come?”

  I stuck my face in the water, delaying my response. I was hoping Deuce would move on. He didn’t.

  “Dude,” he said, “why didn’t Addison come?”

  I looked over to see him looking right at me. “Why are you staring at me in the shower, you perv,” I said with a serious look on my face.

  He stared back. “You’re not gonna distract me with a not-so-witty comment and your fake-ass media smile. Trouble in paradise? Already? What’d you do this time?

  I dropped my head down and sighed. “I don’t know.”

  I looked around and saw that no one was paying us any attention and the media hadn’t been let in yet, so while we finished up, I told him the whole story. Well, I didn’t tell him how I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. I wanted to keep that to myself. Plus, if my body had any reaction to me thinking about it, showering with the team could get pretty awkward. That’s the last story we needed to be on the ten o’clock news.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, man,” he said while we got dressed. “I’d say she sounds like more effort than she’s worth. But if you really feel it . . . I just don’t know.” His phone rang and he checked the screen. “Speaking of more effort than it’s worth, let’s hope Vanessa is in a better mood.” He swiped his finger across the screen. “Hello? Baby, baby, slow down, why are you screaming, what happened?”

  I stopped what I was doing and turned to look at him, afraid something was wrong.

  Deuce groaned and ran his free hand down his face. “Ugggghhhh, baby I was coming home to tell you about that before that skank whore spun the story to make me look bad. Fuck, man,” he said to me, moving the phone away from his mouth. “That bitch works quick. There are some choice pics already on the Channel 5 website. I gotta get out of here before the reporters show up. Yeah, baby, I’m listening,” he said, quickly moving the phone back to his mouth. “But you gotta stop screaming at me so I can tell you what really happened.” He shoved his wallet in his back pocket and slammed his locker door. “Babe, I promise it’s not what it looks like. You owe me more than one, douchebag,” he whispered to me on his way out the door.

  He was in for a world of hurt when he got home. After getting dressed and doing a few locker room interviews, I headed toward the restaurant. On my way, I sent Adam a message asking him to send Vanessa a giant flower bouquet on my behalf, thanking her for understanding Deuce’s moronic way of keeping Jaxon out of the spotlight. Emphasis on the word “moronic”. She’d get a kick out of that.

  When I got to the restaurant, Jaxon and Mick were waiting at the front.

  “Hey guys, I’m sorry you had to wait. There were a few extra reporters I wasn’t expecting. I was hoping they’d let you have a seat before I got here.”

  “It’s ok,” Mick said. “Jax and I were just checking out the view of the field from over here. He’s been pretty entertained watching all the maintenance people.”

  “Pee-paw! That’s Mr. Eli,” Jax said, right on cue and pointing to the field. “I helped him paint that goalpost.”

  “You did?” Mick replied. “Why I knew that was the best looking goalpost out there.”

  Jaxon smiled and kept watching all the work happening down below.

  “Why don’t we head to our table,” I suggested. “I’m starving.”

  The three of us walked up to the hostess stand. She recognized me and seated us right away. The restaurant usually stayed open after the games, but only for executives and players like me who couldn’t wait the extra twenty minutes it took to get home to eat.

  After we sat down and put in our drink orders, I looked over at Jaxon, excited about getting to talk to him a little more.

  “So did you have a good time at the game?” I asked, leaning my elbows on the table.

  “Yeah,” he said, looking down at his hands. He wasn’t at all like his usual bubbly self.

  “Hey, buddy,” I said, leaning over and putting my hand on his shoulder, “What’s up? Are you feeling ok?”

  He sighed a deep sigh for a little kid. When he looked up at me, his eyes looked so sad. “Why did you tell that lady I don’t go to Mountain Park? You said I wasn’t at the pep rally. But I was. Is it cause I cried at the pep rally?”

  My head dropped in defeat. With just a couple sentences he broke my heart. Which I deserved. Apparently I had unknowingly already broken his.

  “Aw, buddy,” I said, looking up at him. “It has nothing to do with you crying at the pep rally. Everyone cries. Even I cry.”

  “You do?” he asked, his eyes wide.

  “Yep,” I confirmed. “But that lady who was asking about you, she’s not a real nice lady.” I looked up at Mick for some help. He just nodded for me to continue. “She likes to tell stories about people on TV and on the internet. And not nice stories. She likes to tell made up stories.”

  “She does?” he asked, his mouth open and eyes wide.

  “Yep,” I nodded. “Sometimes she even likes to tell people’s secrets.”

  “But that’s not right!” Jax argued. “You aren’t supposed to tell secrets!”

  “I know. But she does,” I looked over at Mick again who was just following the exchange. “Now, I know your daddy dying isn’t a secret, but I don’t think your mom is ready for a lot of people asking about those stories. So when that lady asked, I got a little mad and I lied to her.”

  Jaxon looked back and forth between Mick and me. “But,” he started, “but you’re not supposed to lie either. My mom always says it’s bad to lie.”

  That’s when Mick stepped in. “I don’t think Jason was trying to lie this time, Jaxon. I think he was trying to protect you and your mama. I think it was ok this one time.”

  Jaxon thought for a minute. “Ok,” he said with a small smile. “I thought maybe you didn’t wanna be my friend anymore.”

  “Nothing could be further from the truth, dude,” I said, ruffling his hair. “I like being friends with you. You keep me on my toes.”

  “My mom says that all the time.”

  Mick and I laughed. “I’m sure she does, buddy.”

  “Can I go look at that fish tank, Pee-paw?” he asked Mick, quickly changing topics.

  “Sure. Just don’t touch it.”

  “Ok!” Jax said, pushing out of his chair and bounding away.

  “Thanks for bringing him, Mick,” I said, watching Jaxon as he stared at the lobsters crawling around. “I was a little worried he wasn’t gonna be able to come.”

  “Well I’m glad I was able to bring him. I know you were hoping Addison would be with him but I appreciate you being so accommodating.”

  “As long as Jaxon gets here, that’s all the matters,” I said, taking a drink of water.

  “Don’t bullshit me, son. I see the way you look at her.”

  I choked on my water and started coughing into a napkin. As soon as I could talk again, I responded.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mick.”

  “Sure you do,” he said, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. “I was watching you during the birthday party. I’ve seen that look before. You’re smitten.”

  I paused and realized there was no way to talk myself out of this one. “Was it that obvious?”

  “Only to me,” he said. “But I’ve been there. The way you were looking at Addison reminded me of the way I used to look at my Lisa.”

&nbs
p; “Wait . . . I thought your wife’s name was Angela,” I said, confused.

  “Oh it is,” he replied. “Lisa was my first wife. Mother of my son. He took a little too much after his mama if you ask me. But I was so in love with that woman.” He leaned over, elbows on the table. “Before she came along, I didn’t have any interest in building a life with anyone. But when she fell into my lap, I don’t even know how to describe it,” he said, looking over at me. “I couldn’t get her out of my head. She owned my thoughts. At work, at home, it didn’t matter where I was. I was always thinking about her.”

  I smirked, understanding how he had felt back then. “So what happened?”

  He sighed. “She apparently didn’t love me as much as I loved her. About three years after Austin was born, she just up and left. No explanation. Just . . . gone.”

  My eyebrows rose. “She just up and left her kid, too?”

  “Oh, she saw him every weekend. She just wanted nothing to do with me.”

  “Wow,” I said, sitting back. “That must have sucked.”

  He sighed. “It’s the ugly side of love. The part no one ever talks about. But then Angela came along and I’ve never looked back. She isn’t Lisa, but she is one hell of a woman.”

  We sat in silence for a minute, watching Jaxon make friends with one of the servers who was picking out a lobster.

  “I guess my point in all this, which I am obviously not making very well,” he said, “is that I know what it’s like to lose your spouse. And if you are using that little boy to get to Addison, I will come after you. I don’t care that you are bigger than me, or stronger than me, or younger than me. I’ll get in a few good punches.”

  I whipped my head back around to look at Mick. Wow. I did not see that coming.

  I nodded once. “I understand where you’re coming from, but I can assure you, I had never met Addison before she brought Jax on his tour. I wouldn’t have been able to pick her out of a crowd. I had asked them here for the sole purpose of getting to know Jaxon better.” I sat back, crossing my legs, resting my ankle on my knee. “That being said, I’ll admit, I am interested in Addison. But since she hasn’t been responding to my texts lately, I’m assuming the interest isn’t reciprocated. So you don’t really have anything to worry about.”

  He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, looking at me like he was trying to figure me out. Then he nodded. “I don’t know what happened at the party. I know something happened, but Addison is a grown woman and it’s not really my business. She holds a special place in my heart because she was married to my son. I love her dearly and I want her to be happy. She’s been through a lot. And I won’t watch her go through heartache again if I can help it.”

  “Understood,” I answered, more out of respect than understanding, because I really didn’t know where all this was coming from.

  “If you feel about her the way I felt about my Lisa, then you need to respect her timelines. Take things slow.” I nodded. “But she’s a good one. You’d be a fool to give her up without a fight.”

  “Pee-paw!” Jax yelled, bounding back over in our direction. “Did you know people eat those things?” he said, crinkling his nose in disgust.

  I cracked up and Mick rubbed his tummy. “Sounds yummy,” he said in a deep voice, making Jaxon giggle.

  We continued on with our dinner, the topic of Addison never coming up again. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t still mulling it over in my brain. Even during my drive home, some of the things he said kept rolling around in my head. Especially the part about fighting for her.

  Because damn it, for the first time ever, I was worried that I had finally found the one person, and her son, that were worth fighting for. And I’d be lying if I said that didn’t scare the ever-loving shit out of me.

  Addison: Thank you for the jerseys. That was really sweet. I’m sorry I’ve confused you. I’ve confused myself, too. It won’t happen again.

  What the hell?

  I read over the text I had gotten last night for the umpteenth time. She had been ignoring me for days. But giving her and Jax a couple of jerseys is what finally gets a response?

  I sighed and dropped my phone into my locker so I could finish getting dressed. I didn’t know how to answer her, but I figured I shouldn’t do anything rash. What I really wanted to reply with is “WTF?” But that wouldn’t do any good. I couldn’t figure her out, but that didn’t mean I was out for blood either.

  I was tying my runners before hitting the weight room when Deuce came barreling through the door.

  “WOOOOO!” he yelled at the top of his lungs and jumped to stand on top of one of the benches in the middle of the room. “CAN I HAVE EVERYONE’S ATTENTION, PLEASE?” The room got quiet while Deuce fidgeted around like he had to pee in his pants. He was definitely excited about something.

  “I have an announcement to make. It appears,” he paused, “that I,” he paused again, “the stud muffin of the Dallas Cowboys,” another pause while the rest of the guys booed him. “Y’all, hang on, hang on, shut up for a minute,” he said, quieting everyone down again. “It appears that I have KNOCKED MY WOMAN UP!” He jumped off the bench amid the cheers of congratulations and started dancing, hands behind his head and gyrating his hips as he walked toward our lockers, getting pats on the back as he went.

  “Congrats, man,” I said, giving him a manly hug. You know, two back pats and done.

  “Man, my swimmers couldn’t hardly even wait until we got married,” he said excitedly, a big-ass smile on his face. “She was pregnant almost as soon as we got back from Bali and didn’t even know it!”

  “When did she figure it out?” I asked.

  “Yesterday,” he answered, trying to get dressed for our workout, but still bouncing around as he talked. “Her mama was over last night and Vanessa said the smell of the flowers you sent her was making her sick. Nice touch, by the way. It helped me out a lot.”

  “No problem.”

  “Anyway, her mom heard her say it and mentioned something about Vanessa having that ‘glow’, whatever the hell that means,” he said, waving his hands around animatedly. “So she sent me to the store to buy a bunch of pregnancy tests. Do you know how many different brands there are? I ended up buying fourteen of them. Fourteen! Every single one of them came up positive. You know why?” he asked.

  “Why?” I asked, afraid to know his answer.

  “Because my boys got game!” he yelled, bobbling around some more. “Those sticks didn’t just turn pink. They turned all blingy, neon signs, shooting-fireworks-out-the-top pink! Wooooo!” More teammates walked by, patting him on the back.

  I laughed out loud. “That’s awesome, man. I’m happy for you. Do you know when Vanessa is due?”

  “Uh . . . she got on some baby website last night and did some calculations,” he said, throwing his clothes in his locker. “She thinks she figured out when my boys went in for the kill. So she said the baby should be here around May, I guess.”

  “You better hope she doesn’t pop early,” I ribbed.

  He stopped and looked at me. “Oh, shit. What if she pops super early? Like during the playoffs. Shit like that happens all the time!” he asked, his eyes wide. “What am I gonna do?”

  I laughed. “Relax, man. You’ll deal with that later. You’ve got a lot of other things to do before then.”

  “Like what?” he asked, slamming his locker shut, finally dressed.

  “You’ve got doctor’s appointments and baby showers and midnight cravings and shit. It’s the beginning of the end, my man,” I teased as we headed toward the weight room.

  “Try to scare me all you want, I don’t even care,” he shot back. “There is nothing you can do that can change my mood. My woman and I are having a baby. Dude,” he said, suddenly getting quiet. “We’re having a baby.”

  I had never seen him look like he was in awe before. Ever. Not even when he and Vanessa got together. Kids will do that to you. Or so I’ve heard.

  “I’m
happy for you, man,” I said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Now let’s get this workout going so you can get home.”

  Later that night I was lying on my couch trying to watch SportsCenter. It had been a long day and a really tough practice. But the team was continuing to mesh really well. The rookies were starting to click on the field with the veterans of the team and I was confident we could be contenders for the Super Bowl this year. At least, I hoped so. I only had a few years left and hadn’t made it all the way yet.

  I was having a hard time concentrating on the announcers on TV, because I kept thinking about that damn text from Addison. I wanted to respond, but I wasn’t really sure how.

  Fuck it, I thought, sitting up and grabbing my phone. I took a deep breath and started typing.

  Me: You’re welcome for the jerseys. I missed seeing you there. Had a great time with Mick, but it wasn’t quite the same.

  I dropped my phone next to me on the couch, expecting to get no response. Surprisingly, she replied.

  Addison: I had to work.

  Me: On a Sunday?

  She took a little longer to respond this time. Apparently she hadn’t thought that lie through.

  Addison: Listen, Jason, I think you’re a great guy and I love that you have been there for Jaxon for the last couple of weeks. But I just don’t think it’s a great idea for us to hang around together.

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Why was I not surprised that she was, once again, being cryptic.

  Me: So you’ve said. You’ve just never said why.

  Addison: It’s complicated. Please don’t be mad.

  Me: I’m not mad. So listen, we don’t play until Monday this next week so I was hoping I might be able to come get Jaxon on Sunday. Do you have a second to chat?

  She knew I was lying but I didn’t know what else to do at this point. I waited a full five minutes for a response this time. I even used the restroom and got another bottle of water before I heard back.

  Addison: Sure.

  This time, I made her wait. I knew it was petty, but I just wanted her to have to sweat a little. Like she kept doing to me.