Change of Hart

by M. E. Carter

  “Your mom must be really proud of you,” she remarked, taking her shoes and socks off.

  “Are you gonna stick your feet in that cold water?” I asked.

  She smiled at me. “Of course! It’s a beautiful day! The water won’t be that cold.” She shoved her socks inside her shoes and dropped them on the sand before heading toward the water. “Are you coming?” she asked me over her shoulder.

  I really didn’t want to, but what could I do? Addison wanted to put her feet in the water, so I was taking off my shoes because we were going to put our feet in the water.

  “It feels good,” she called toward me, already in ankle deep. “Come on!”

  I shook my head and grinned as I headed toward the water. “Aren’t you in a little bit too deep? What if there’s an alligator or something?” I asked as I stepped in. “Holy mother of all that is holy! That is cold!”

  “It’s not that cold,” she said with amusement. “I think you’re just more worried about the alligators.”

  “Are there really alligators in this lake?” I asked nervously. “Did you see one?”

  She looked at me . . . and started laughing. “You’re not really afraid of alligators.”

  “Don’t judge me,” I answered seriously. “Alligators kill people. I like being alive.”

  “You’re right,” she said, holding her hands up in front of her. “I shouldn’t make fun of your totally irrational fear.”

  “Thank you for your sincerity,” I said sarcastically.

  We continued walking in the surf and talking, enjoying each other’s company.

  “What about you?” I asked. “What made you decide on social work?”

  She picked a small twig up out of the water. It still had a few leaves on it, so she started ripping them off mindlessly as she spoke.

  “Um, I think it was always a no-brainer for me to take that career path.”

  “How come?”

  “Ever since I was little, it’s what my mom would do. She doesn’t have a degree in it or anything. But there’s not a person or creature out there my mom wouldn’t help if they needed it.”

  I stuck my hands in my pockets and looked at her as she spoke.

  “I remember after my dad’s company had bought out a smaller one, all of these people started being transferred to Kansas City, where we lived. They weren’t given a whole lot of time to find housing. So my parents would just bring them in and they’d live in our basement while they got themselves settled in town.”

  “Really?” I asked. “Complete strangers?”

  “They were strangers to me. But now that you say that, my dad probably knew them at least a little bit from work. One time, an entire family lived with us for about three months. The girl was my age. It was kind of cool having a live-in playmate.” She shrugged. “That’s just the way I was raised, ya know? If you have extra and someone needs help to get on their feet, you give that extra to them. Social work just seemed like a natural fit, I guess.”

  “Wow,” I said, eyeing what I hoped was a piece of floating wood that had caught my eye. It made me nervous, but it was just a log. I was sure it was just a log. “Your parents sound pretty amazing.”

  “Oh, they are,” she agreed. “They are just about the only thing I miss about Kansas. And my sister and her family, of course.”

  “Of course,” I said, smiling at her. “Did you like your job?”

  She thought for a second before answering. “I did. But the hard thing about social work is that a lot of people are perfectly content being in the ‘system,’” she said, making air-quotes. “It’s hard not to become jaded when seventy-five percent of your clients don’t really want to make a better life for themselves and their children. You know, as a fresh college-grad, I was out to change the world. Then I found out, it’s not that easy to do.”

  “Then why did you do it?”

  “Honestly,” she said with a wistful smile, “for the other twenty-five percent. My favorite clients were those ones that had been knocked down, but refused to give up. Seeing the pride on their faces when they could come to me and say, ‘Thank you for your help, but we’re back on track and don’t need you anymore.’ That was the best feeling in the world.”

  We stopped walking and turned toward the lake, just watching the ripples in the water.

  “So why don’t you do that part anymore?” I asked, genuinely curious why she wanted to be in the background at her job now instead of on the front lines.

  She sighed. “I got knocked down. I found out that it’s not as easy to get back up as I thought.”

  I gazed down at her as she got lost in her thoughts. I hoped I could help her get back up. She had so much love and kindness to give. I wanted her to find her way back to it.

  “I’m getting kind of hungry,” I said, snapping us out of the moment. “Wanna head back toward our picnic?”

  “Sure,” she said, smiling up at me.

  “Are you still close with that family?” I asked as we walked back the way we came. “The one that lived with you?”

  “Oh yeah! Tracy is my best friend.”

  “Wait, did I meet her at Jaxon’s birthday party?” I asked, trying to remember meeting someone with that name.

  “No, she lives in Nebraska with her husband, Aaron,” she said. “Their son Ryder is about Jaxon’s age. A little younger. I haven’t seen her in, gosh, probably a year. But we still talk on the phone every day.”

  “Really,” I said with amusement in my voice. “What do you guys talk about? Do you talk about this hot guy you’re seeing?”

  She smirked. “I don’t know. What do you and Deuce talk about every day?”

  I snorted. “Don’t even compare Deuce with a normal best friend. I love the guy and all, but Deuce is not normal.”

  She laughed. I, on the other hand, started growing nervous again as we started getting closer to that damn floating log. Addison didn’t seem to notice my mood change.

  “How can you say that about your best friend?” she asked and then stopped as her eye caught the attention of something. “Hey, what’s this?” She bent down to pick something up out of the water before she jumped back and started screaming, “Alligator!”

  “WHERE? WHERE IS IT?” I yelled as I darted for the safety of the sand.

  Then I looked up and saw Addison laughing. No, not laughing. Full on holding her stomach, no sound coming out of her mouth, roaring with laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked with my eyes narrowed on hers.

  “Ohmygod,” she finally said, trying to catch her breath. “You really are afraid of alligators!” At this point, tears were streaming down her face. “I thought you were, you know, afraid of them. But I had no idea you would run screaming like a little girl and leave me behind to be eaten!”

  “You did that on purpose,” I said, finally catching on to her little joke.

  She nodded and started laughing again.

  “Oh you are gonna be sooooo sorry you did that,” I said with a menacing tone and started walking toward her.

  She immediately perked up. “What are you doing, Jason?” she asked nervously and started walking backwards toward the picnic blanket, never taking her eyes off of me.

  I stalked toward her until she turned around and started running, screaming with laughter.

  It took me no time to catch her, but I didn’t have a plan on what I’d do when I caught her so I just grabbed her and spun her around once before putting her back down. I kept my arms around her, though.

  “That wasn’t funny,” I said as I kissed the top of her head.

  “Oh it was so funny,” she answered, still catching her breath.

  We walked back over to the blanket and plopped down. Very quickly, we learned that sand and food don’t mix. Our sandwiches weren’t edible by the time the wind kicked up a notch.

  I also realized something very important.

  With her humor, her heart, her kindness - Addison was, in fact, my perfect woman. And she
was making it really easy to fall in love with her.

  Over the next few weeks, my life consisted of three major things . . . football, Addison and Jaxon. I had no idea how the two of them became constants in my life so quickly, especially since Addison was determined to keep the relationships separate, but they did.

  Addison and I went out several more times. The longer we dated without her name making it into the papers, the more confident I felt that when it finally did, she’d be ready. I still tried to keep our relationship low-key. But there are so many things to do in Dallas, I needed Adam to help us stay behind the scenes a little bit.

  The Texas Rangers were having a pretty good year so we were able to get a private box for one of the Divisional Playoff games. It was fun. Deuce and Vanessa met us there and we all enjoyed talking probably more than we enjoyed watching the game. Addison and Vanessa talked all about Vanessa’s pregnancy and even Jaxon’s birth. The look on Deuce’s face during that conversation was priceless. I made sure Vanessa knew she needed to take pictures in the delivery room. Not of the baby, but of Deuce’s reaction. I was wagering that he was going to pass out at some point.

  Another time, Deuce and I rented out a private dining room at Abacus. It was fun seeing Addison get all dolled up and in a nice, fitted, sexy dress. It’s a good thing Deuce and Vanessa were there because I was seriously having trouble keeping my hands off of my date. I couldn’t help it. Heels show off those legs.

  Every date got better, but it always ended the same way . . . with me kissing the hell out of her in her front room, trying to stay quiet so Jaxon didn’t wake up. And trying even harder to keep my hands in appropriate locations, knowing if they traveled south, I wasn’t leaving. I took a lot of cold showers. That part sucked. But I knew it would be worth it in the end.

  Jaxon, on the other hand, came to all my home games with Mick. If I was out of town, he’d call me as soon as the game was over. Talking to him was, if nothing else, entertaining. I thought he could talk a lot about past football games. That was nothing compared to his short-term memory. And it appeared my little buddy was not just a fair-weather fan. He was the real deal. Even when we got pummeled in St. Louis. . . 27 – 10.

  I would like to blame the sucky weather we had during that game. But the truth of it was, I was off my game. I missed several key tackles that kept letting the Rams get the first down. I have no idea why and I probably never will. It’s just one of those things that happen sometimes. And it sucked.

  The locker room was relatively quiet after that game. No one really has much to say after a loss.

  I picked up my phone and saw that I had a message. It was kind of unusual. Everyone who had my phone number knew I was on the field. Hell, they were probably watching. So it concerned me a bit that whatever was going on was important enough to leave a message.

  I didn’t bother stripping my uniform off before typing in my password to get the voicemail.

  “Hi Jason! It’s Jaxon. My mom and I were watching the game and it was AWESOME! When you jumped up and knocked that ball out of the way . . . you blocked the extra point! It was so cool! So, my mom says I can’t stay on the phone, but I wanted to tell you I watched it wearing my jersey and my mom even let me have a hot dog because Pee-paw gets them for me at the stadium so we needed to eat them when we watch TV games, too . . . I’ll see you at the next game! I love you! Bye!”

  Leave it to my little buddy to not see all the missed tackles, but to see the one bright side of my game tonight. Is it possible to fall in love with a kid? Not in a creepy way. But in a he-is-so-awesome kind of way? Because I did with that voicemail. That was it. If there was a question about me ever losing interest in him, the answer was, “Not gonna happen.”

  I showered, did my required interviews and sat down next to Deuce on the bus that was taking us back to the airport. Once settled in, I was finally able to call Addison.

  “Hello,” she said in a groggy voice.

  “I didn’t wake you, did I?” I asked, suddenly realizing it was after eleven in Texas.

  She yawned. “I was just dozing off a little. I didn’t want to miss your phone call.”

  “I missed Jaxon, though, didn’t I?”

  She laughed softly. “Honey, he’s been in bed for hours. He jumped up and down so much during the game, I’m almost surprised he didn’t pass out earlier than he did.”

  “I wish he would have fallen asleep during the game,” I said, still feeling the sting of our loss. “It was a terrible game.”

  “It wasn’t that bad,” she said. “You only missed a few tackles.”

  “Addison Bryant,” I exclaimed with a grin on my face, “don’t tell me you’re learning how to follow a football game!”

  She snorted. “I kind of have to. You see, there’s this really hot guy I know who plays defense. I figured I needed to know exactly what that meant if I was gonna keep him around for a while.”

  “Well, I’m impressed,” I joked. “I think I need to get you a cheerleader costume for Halloween now that you’re such a fan.”

  “I am not wearing that tiny little outfit when I take my son trick-or-treating,” she argued. “Halloween is scary enough without me showing off all that skin!”

  “Hey now,” I said sternly while watching St. Louis pass by out the window of the bus, “don’t talk about my woman that way. I happen to think she’s kind of hot.”

  “You’re sweet,” she said through a smile. “Speaking of Halloween, you’re still coming trick-or-treating with us next week, aren’t you?

  “Of course,” I said. “This is the first time in years I get to go begging for candy without people looking at me funny.”

  “You are so weird,” she said without missing a beat. “I asked Jax what he wants to dress up as. You’ll never guess what he decided.”

  “Ummmmmm, a ninja,” I guessed.

  “What? No.”

  “Hey, you told me to guess, so I did,” I argued. “Let me try again.”

  “Fine. Try again.”

  “Ok. A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.”

  “Jason,” she laughed, “that’s still a ninja.”

  “It is not! It’s a hero in a half shell!”

  “Ohmygod,” she said, belly-laughing now. “You’re such a dork!”

  I smiled. “Yeah, but that’s why you love me.”

  She stopped laughing abruptly. The silence lasted for quite a few seconds.

  “Um, that’s . . . uh . . . ,” I stammered.

  “Jason,” she said. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make this a very awkward conversation. Because I know what you meant.”

  I exhaled. “Thanks. That was . . . sorry about that.”

  “Stop worrying about it. Besides, we have more important things to discuss. Jaxon wants to be you for Halloween.”

  “Me?” I asked incredulously.

  “Did you really forget that you are his hero?” she asked me.

  “No, I mean, I knew that,” I answered. “I guess I just assumed he knew me well enough now to kind of be, I don’t know . . . over it, I guess.”

  “Oh, Jason,” she laughed, “how many times did you meet Emmett Smith as a kid and how many times did you dress up as him for Halloween?”

  “Good point,” I conceded. “But now that I know that he wants to be me, can I please get his costume? I can get little football pants and a little helmet. Oh! And I can get us costumes, too! I know exactly what to do!”

  “I’m not wearing a cheerleader outfit,” she reminded me.

  “Not even once we get back from trick-or-treating?” I asked playfully. “Just for me?”

  “Uh, no,” she said.

  I sighed loudly. “Ok fine. But I’ve got another idea. Can you trust me to get us the perfect costumes that will keep me incognito on the street?”

  “I suppose,” she agreed hesitantly. “But this is your one chance, Hart. Don’t screw it up.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said. “I promise you’ll love it.”

>   “Whatever you say.”

  As our conversation came to a close, the bus came rumbling to a stop.

  “We just rolled up to the airport, baby,” I said. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “Ok,” she said with another yawn. “Call me tomorrow. Fly safe.”

  “Thanks, babe. Sleep well.”

  With that, she was gone. And I had some planning to do.

  I had barely finished knocking when the door flew open and Jaxon was hugging me tight.

  “Jason! You’re here!” he yelled. “You did so good at the game on Sunday. You hit that ball so hard! And when Deuce knocked that guy down and he got a flag for it I was so mad! He didn’t do anything wrong! I saw the replay! Are you going trick-or-treating with me?”

  I looked over at Addison who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face.

  “Did you give him a bunch of candy already?” I asked her, wondering how he could be even more hyper than normal.

  “I didn’t,” she said. “But I am assuming the school did. He came home like this.”

  “Hmm . . . ,” I said, looking Jaxon in the eye. “Let’s see . . . thank you for the compliment. I agree Deuce got screwwww . . . shafted. And yes, as soon as we’re all dressed we’re going trick-or-treating.”

  He wiggled down to the floor and started jumping up and down. “Did you bring my costume? Did you bring me a helmet?”

  I picked up one of the bags that was still sitting on the front porch. “It’s all in here,” I said, handing it to him as he continued to jump. “Go put it on so we can get ready to go.”

  “Ok!” he yelled and took off down the hallway. When I heard him banging things around his room, I stalked over to Addison and backed her against the wall, pressing my whole body to hers and kissing her with everything in me. She reciprocated for a really amazing few seconds before pushing me away.

  “He got really quiet in there, Jason,” she said, still catching her breath. “That means he’s gonna come tearing around that corner any minute.”