by Kahele, J
Vince laughed. “You asked, so I’m just telling you what you want to know.” He sat up and leaned towards my desk. “So you’re seeing Harrison again?”
“We’re just friends.”
“Vi, I know the whole thing with Chain is real shitty, but going back to Harrison is not the answer.”
“I just told you, Vince, we are just friends.”
He nodded. “He takes the loneliness away, doesn’t he?” That was what I had hoped for but it didn’t always work. Sometimes there was nothing that could take the ache that I felt for Chain away.
“Have you talked to Chain?” My heart dropped as Chain’s name slipped from Vince’s lips.
I shook my head. “No.” I glanced at Vince and saw the disappointment in his eyes and it was more than I could take. I had brought pain to him and my family by bringing Chain into their lives. I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes.
“Don’t, Vi, don’t!” Vince stammered. But it was too late. The tears flooded down my face and Vince rushed behind my desk, pulling me up from my chair.
“I’m so sorry, I should never have brought him into our lives,” I muttered tearfully.
“It’s not your fault, Vi, stop, okay.”
“I miss him, Vince; I can’t stop thinking about him.”
He brushed the side of my head. “I know.”
I looked up at him with tear-soaked eyes. “What did I do? I wish he would tell me.”
He smiled as he wiped the tears from my face. “I don’t know, I wish I could answer that. But I know one thing you did do—you loved him and that is nothing to be ashamed of.”
He was right; all I ever did was love Chain. Maybe in the beginning I didn’t treat him as well as I could have, but towards the end I gave him everything, all of me.
Vince brushed the tears from my face. “Are you going to be okay?” I nodded yes. He kissed my forehead. “I’m going to get back to work; I’ll talk to you later.”
***
Harrison and I made plans to meet at Vinio’s for dinner. I walked into the restaurant, scanning the area for Harrison, when I saw him sitting at a table, glancing down at his cell, tapping on it. My cell buzzed and I took it from my purse.
Where are you? Harrison texted. I walked up to the table and stood behind him.
Right behind you, I texted back. He laughed as he turned his head and saw me standing there. He stood up and gave me a hug.
“I thought you forgot about me.”
“Never.”
Harrison pulled out my chair and I sat down.
I glanced through the menu. “So what are you getting?” When Harrison didn’t answer I placed my menu down to find him staring at me with emotion shining in his eyes.
“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Oh no. Not this.
I cleared my throat. “Thank you. So do you know what you are going to order?” I replied, trying desperately to change the subject. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I never led Harrison on to believe that there was more than friendship with us, so why was he acting like this?
“You know, being with you has been like old times.”
“What do you mean?”
“When we first started talking to each other, remember. We used to talk all night on the phone till we literally fell asleep.” He was correct. When Harrison and I first started dating, we could never get enough of each other. If we weren’t together, we were on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, talking about things that really had no bearing on anything, we just never really wanted to say goodbye.
“Yeah. I remember.”
“Us reconnecting now just proves that we were meant to be together.” Oh no, here it comes.
“Harrison, I really think that—” He interrupted.
“I love you, Violet, I have always loved you.”
“Harrison, please,” I mumbled. But he just smiled and continued to stare at me, making me uncomfortable. I needed to step away, so I grabbed my purse and stood up. “I need to go to the ladies’ room.” But before I could move, he was in front of me. He snaked his arms around me, bent his head slightly and placed a kiss on my lips. I should have pulled away, but I was so lonely and I missed the affections of a man, so I leaned into him and kissed him back.
I felt sick to my stomach.
This was wrong.
On all levels. Before I could pull away, his body was being pulled back and I looked up to see Chain holding him in a firm grip. I felt like I had just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. But why? We weren’t together anymore. Who I chose to be with was none of Chain’s concern.
Harrison pushed him off. “Get your hands off of me.”
Chain looked over at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. “Why?” he mumbled.
The anger was there instantly. He had some nerve to interfere, how dare he? Who did he think he was? He left me. He left me! Still holding my purse, I turned and scurried away. As I reached for the door knob of the bathroom, I felt hands on my shoulders whipping me around and my eyes met with Chain’s.
“Why him?” Chain queried.
I grunted before saying, “Why do you care?”
His expression turned serious. “I will always care for you, Violet—always.” This man was a walking, talking contradiction. One minute he had me banned from stepping foot in his office and now he was standing here telling me he would always care about me?
“Well you have a very strange way of showing it.” I went to walk away, but was stopped by his body on mine, my back hitting the wall as he pinned his legs on either side of me, leaving me helpless. His face nuzzled my hair and my body trembled and I wanted to ask him why, why did he leave me. But I was afraid, afraid of what the answer might be. Confusing thoughts filled my head, hurt surrounding me. I couldn’t do this, look at him, be near him, I needed to get away from him, far, far away.
I looked down. “Let me go, Chain, please.”
He buried his face in my shoulder. “No,” he said so quietly I barely heard him. I inhaled his scent and wanted so badly to fall into his arms. I loved this man; I would always love this man. He placed his lips to my forehead and kept them there for what seemed like hours. The heat from his lips sent a shiver up my spine.
I felt the warmth of his breath as he leaned to my ear.
“Meet me at my apartment in an hour, I’ll be waiting for you,” he whispered before abruptly turning and walking away, leaving me speechless.
What the hell was that? I quickly rushed into the bathroom. I threw cold water on my face, trying to cool myself down and then smiled. He did still love me. I saw it in his eyes, felt it in his touch. I frowned. He wanted me to come to his apartment? For what? Was he going to apologize, or at least explain why he broke things off with me? No, I wouldn’t go, I couldn’t go, it would be the biggest mistake I had ever made. But I missed him so much. It took my all not to beg, plead with him to take me back. I would do anything to be his again, for him to be mine.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror and began mentally scolding myself. Stop it. Stop it right now. He left you, he hurt you. You cannot go to his apartment. It was wrong. Get a grip, Violet, get a frickin’ grip! I took a deep breath and smiled, grabbing my purse and leaving the bathroom.
Harrison was sitting at the table glancing frantically around the restaurant. When I walked up, he stood. “I thought you left.”
“No, I just went to use the ladies’ room.”
“Violet, I want to apologize for my actions.”
“It’s fine, Harrison. But I have to be honest, I don’t look at you like that anymore. I know that is blunt and I apologize, but I feel it’s necessary to be straight to the point. I only want friendship from you, Harrison, that is all.”
He smiled. “I know. And it’s fine. I hoped that we could be more, but as long as I have you in my life, I’m happy, even if it is only as a friend.”
The rest of the dinner I was quiet. I couldn’t get Chain off of my mind. Could I forgi
ve him for hurting me, for leaving me without an explanation? The biggest thing was, could I ever trust him again?
After dinner, Harrison walked me to the car, hugged me and left.
As I was driving home, I thought of Chain and his words. ‘Meet me at my apartment in an hour, I’ll be waiting for you.’ I suddenly felt disappointed in myself.
“I can’t, I can’t,” I mumbled to myself. Memories of Chain and me flashed in my head and I smiled. I can, I can. I whipped my car around and drove to his place, convincing myself that I needed just one more chance to see him, just one more final goodbye.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I entered the code into the elevator. When it opened, I was really surprised he hadn’t changed it.
As I walked towards the door, it opened and standing there wearing only a pair of slacks was Chain.
Our eyes locked and the air suddenly changed, filling with an exhilarating anticipation. My breathing shallowed as my heart raced. I looked down for a mili-fraction of a second and when I looked up I met the lustful eyes of Chain as he stood only inches away. His lips crashed against mine and before I knew it, my hands were entangled in his hair and his body was pressed against mine. He entwined his fingers with mine and lifted my hands over my head, pinning them to the wall as his lips moved down my neck.
“Are you fucking him?” Chain mumbled against the skin of my shoulder.
“Who?” He released my hands and the cold air hit me as he stepped back, bringing me back to reality.
“Harrison, are you sleeping with Harrison?”
Trying to catch my breath I answered simply, “That’s none of your business.”
He scowled and sneered at the same time. “None of my business, huh? The minute I dumped you, you ran back to that cheating bastard?”
“I didn’t run back to him, we are just friends, he gives me comfort, that’s all,” I snapped.
That cocky smirk that I hated so much splashed across his face. “In or out of the bedroom?”
I gritted my teeth as I tried to choke down the burning rage that was rising deep within me. “Who I fuck is none of your business.”
His face twisted into an angry scowl. “I see. You will never change, will you, Violet? As long as you are getting laid, everything is good.” To know that he thought nothing more of me, nothing more than a whore, hurt, it hurt deeply.
“I don’t have to take this.” I turned and walked to the elevator. In two seconds flat Chain had my body pinned to the wall again, his front to my back. I tried to get loose, but his body had me trapped.
“Let me go!” I shouted.
His mouth caressed my lips, his hand sliding up my dress, rubbing against my thigh. “Does he make you feel the way I do?” His hand dipped into my panties and he began to rub me gently. “Tell me, Violet, I want to know, does he touch you the way I touch you?” He slipped a finger inside of me and I moaned. It was twisted and degrading the way I felt. I should be fighting him off, but found myself leaning into his hand, wanting so badly to feel how he made me feel.
“No,” I mumbled. He turned me around to face him and I could see the fierce rage in his eyes as he slammed his mouth to mine. The kiss was rough and angry and he even bit down on my lip so hard I could feel the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. It only made me want and need him more. But just as things got started, they stopped abruptly. Chain pushed off of me and backed away, leaving me panting with desire.
He was breathing hard as he said, “You shouldn’t be here.”
His rejection hurt, it hurt really bad. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I tried hard to keep them in check, but when they threatened to reveal themselves, I rushed over to the elevator.
As the door closed, I fell against the back, exhausted with emotion. I had hoped he would stop me, but he didn’t and I knew why. He didn’t want me—he didn’t want me. When the elevator door opened, I ran to my car, where I collapsed inside, where it was safe and I let myself succumb to the hurt, the pain taking over completely. Why did I go there? Tears coursed down my face as my body shook fiercely, as I remembered how he looked at me, as I remembered the coldness in his eyes. The reality hit me hard. I loved him, but he didn’t love me.
I drove into Callie’s driveway, rushing up to the door and pounding on it. David opened the door.
“Violet?” I tried so hard not to cry. He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Are you alright?” I couldn’t hold it any longer, I fell into his arms, sobbing.
“Oh, Violet, I’m so sorry,” he said as he cradled me in his arms, pulling me in and closing the door.
Chapter 7.0 – Chain
The flowery scent of her perfume still lingered on my skin. I didn’t shower, wanting the smell of her to stay with me all day. I was in Christopher’s office and we were going over the final changes for the Minneapolis blueprints. As much as I tried to concentrate on him, my mind kept floating back to Violet, to last night.
I had met Christopher last night for dinner. I was really trying to make an attempt to do as I had promised David and help him.
Christopher was very distant, not much of a talker, and from what I gathered from the conversation, he didn’t really have a male role model growing up. I guess I was lucky in that aspect, I had always had my father when I was younger and he did guide me in the right direction and give me all the tools I needed to be successful in life.
Christopher was definitely driven, striving for success, but his people skills were absolutely horrible. He was very quiet and always had this really uptight expression on his face, like he was uncomfortable in his own skin. A woman smiled at him and he scowled at her like she was the devil.
I glanced at her and gave her an apologetic smile before leaning across the table and whispering, “Why did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Give that woman a dirty look.”
“I didn’t realize I had.”
“Well you did, Christopher, and it was very rude. If you want to succeed in life you have to learn to be happy.”
He tilted his eyes up at me. “Why?”
“Well because you do.”
He shrugged. “I have had plenty of success without having to be nice to anyone. So what’s the point?”
He really wasn’t getting it, was he?
“Christopher, anyone can make money, that is easy to do, especially for someone as skilled as you are, but in order to have respect, true success, you have to develop good people skills. I want you to be successful, not only working for me, but as your own person. Plus I want you to be happy, meet someone—how are you going to meet a nice woman if you always look like your boxers are on too tight?”
He cupped his chin and tapped his finger on his lips. “What makes you think I want a woman?”
I shrugged. “Well you surely don’t want to grow old alone, do you?”
“I suppose not.” But even as he said the words, I could tell he was saying them only to appease me. I wanted to press on but I could tell by the way he kept shifting in his seat and twiddling his fingers, blinking his eyes, that he was desperate for a drink, so I decided to drop the matter.
I was very conscious of ordering non-alcoholic, to make the atmosphere temptation free. But it seemed non-alcoholic beverages were very filling and my bladder was begging for relief. I stood up.
“Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.”
I made my way to the bathroom and as I turned the corner, I saw Violet engaged in a kiss with Harrison. My first reaction was to bash his face in, to wipe the floor clean with his body. My second was to get him off of her lips, away from her. I was mortified when I realized she was kissing him back and thought for sure they had reconciled. It would have killed me if they reconciled. The last person on this earth that I wanted Violet to be with was that cheating, lying bastard. After I made a complete fool out of myself ripping them apart, Violet rushed off to the bathroom and I followed. That’s where I trapped her with my body. The contact sent me
swirling into a pool of desire and I wanted her so bad, I could taste it. I missed her so much, it killed me to let her go again. But I knew I was doing what was best for her. I loved her. I needed to see her again and I made the mistake of inviting her back to my apartment. I didn’t think she would come and when she did I was filled with anger, anger that she had been with Harrison. It hurt so bad to know that he was the one holding her now, loving her, the way I used to. I wanted her to pay for what she did, so I used the one vice that always worked, sex. The minute my lips hit hers, I could feel her desire, her need and I used it to torture her, to make her feel the pain I felt when I saw her with him. It was wrong and I regretted it now. I had no right to interfere in her life, no right at all. I had let her go and she had a right to go on with her life and find happiness, even if it made me miserable.
“Chain,” a voice muttered, bringing me back to reality.
“Yes?”
Christopher smirked. “You’re thinking about that woman from the restaurant, aren’t you?” How the hell did he know?
“What?”
“That woman, the one you pulled that man off of.”
Why I smiled at his comment, I didn’t know. I suppose it was because Violet’s face flashed into my head.
“You saw that?”
He snickered. “The whole restaurant saw it. Who is she? She must be pretty important for you to make such a scene.” Good question. Who was Violet to me now? A friend? I glanced at Christopher, who was patiently waiting for an answer. “Just someone I used to know.” Loved, worshipped.
“Oh.” Christopher turned his eyes back to the blueprint and pointed to the small section near the top. “I think if we move this wall, you will have plenty of room to put a gate up so people can’t wander into the playscape.” I glanced down at the blueprint. He was right. How did I not see that?
I patted him on the shoulder. “Great job, Christopher, that is why you make the big bucks!” He rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.
David rushed into the room in such a fury it caught both of us by surprise.