by Kahele, J
His jaw clenched as his eyes glared at me. “I need to talk to you,” he growled, his voice cracking as he tried to talk calmly. I nodded my head and followed him out of the conference room. I walked into his office and he slammed the door so hard, I jumped.
“What the fuck are you doing!” he screamed.
I was confused; I had no clue what he was talking about. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Violet, damn it, why do you keep fucking with her?”
I scratched the side of my head. “She told you.”
“Told me? She was in tears when she came over last night. She told me that you made a scene at the restaurant.”
“I was just trying to stop her from making a mistake, that’s all, David.”
“Liar, you were jealous because she was with Harrison, just fucking admit it.” He was right, I was jealous—pissed off was more like it. I didn’t want that cheating bastard Harrison to get his hands on my Violet.
I cleared my throat. “No, that’s not true. My intentions were only to stop her from making a grave mistake.” I had to keep up the façade, even though I was lying through my teeth.
“And you invited her to your apartment, why?”
“I wasn’t thinking. She was upset, I thought she may need to talk, that’s all. I shouldn’t have done that, I know that now, it just led her on.” It was wrong for me to do that to her. I had let my anger and jealously get the best of me and I really regretted it. I would never intentionally hurt Violet, ever. The whole reason why I had broken up with her was because I loved her and wanted to protect her. But seeing her with Harrison brought the worst out in me.
“Led her on? She said you teased her, pretended that you wanted her.”
I laughed. “The only reason she came over to my house was because she thought I was going to have sex with her.” That wasn’t true; I knew she had come over to talk. But I had to keep the charade up. It was important that David knew I had no feelings for her.
David stood silently and I could tell he was contemplating what to say next. “I see, so you didn’t want that. You have no desire for her anymore?” Desire? I was burning for her so badly I had a huge case of blue balls the rest of the night. Even though I scratched one off, it still didn’t replace the feeling of being inside of her, of touching her, of feeling her, of loving her.
“Nope, it’s all gone,” I lied.
His lip quirked up on the side. “So if she left with Harrison, you would have been okay with it?”
Irritation crept into my bones as he said those words, but I kept my cool. “I just told you that she would be making a mistake if she got back with Harrison. But if you want my honest opinion, if that is what she wants then there isn’t much I could do to stop her.”
“Oh I see. So it wouldn’t bother you if I told you that after she left our house, she spent the night with Harrison.”
I could feel the anger swell within me and I had to bite the side of my mouth to keep calm. “Nope, not at all.”
“Good, because she called Harrison last night and told us she planned on going over there to talk and she would be back later, but she never came back. Callie thinks they got back together last night. So I don’t think you have to worry about her coming around your apartment anymore.”
The blood drained out of my face as the hurt surrounded me. I plopped down on the couch and I was on the verge of tears as the thought of her being back with Harrison crushed me.
“It hurts you to know that she is with him, doesn’t it?”
I was so choked up I could barely release the words. “Of course not, I let her go, remember, why would it hurt? I’m just disappointed in her, that’s all.”
David sat on the couch across from me, leaning forward, his hands folded together on his lap. “Why, Chain, tell me, why are you disappointed in Violet?”
“Because she deserves better. Harrison cheated on her, why on earth would she go back to him?”
“That’s not the answer I am looking for and you know it. Just admit it to me and yourself.”
“Admit what?”
“That you love her. Say it.” I shook my head and looked down. “Fucking say it, Chain, you love Violet more than anything in this world. You let her go for no good reason at all and now she is back with Harrison and it bothers the fuck out of you.” I wished that David would just shut up, stop. My hands began to shake. She was mine, not his. She was mine.
David stood up and began to pace. “Doesn’t it bother you that she is fucking him? That she is lying down in the very bed you lay down with her in, probably right now, screwing his brains out?”
I ran my hands through my hair frantically as I dropped my face into my hands. “Stop, David, please.”
“They’ve been apart for months now. I’m sure they had a lot to make up for. I hear make-up sex is the best. I bet you she was screaming his name all the way—” I couldn’t take it anymore. I bolted off the couch and pushed him down on the ground. I had had enough.
“Fucking shut up, can you please stop talking about it. Fuck, David, can’t you see it is ripping me to shreds!”
David laughed as he got to his feet, straightening his coat. “Why, Chain, why is it ripping you to shreds?”
“Because I fucking love her, okay. Damn it, I love her. There, I said it, are you satisfied?”
He patted me on the back and I had to fight the urge to punch him in the face. How could he do this, put me through this agony?
He exhaled before saying, “Violet didn’t go to Harrison’s last night, she stayed with us. She left early this morning to go back to her apartment to get ready for work.”
I clenched my fists. “You fucking put me through all this shit for no reason?”
“I did.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because I needed to know how you felt.”
“You’re a bastard.”
He grinned. “Love you, buddy.” That son of a bitch. But he was right; I probably never would have admitted how I felt about Violet if it hadn’t been dragged out of me. I sat back down on the couch, stretching my neck.
David sat next to me and tapped me on the shoulder. “So are you going to tell me why you broke it off with Violet? Because I know it’s not because you didn’t love her.” He had me there. But how could I tell him that in order for me to keep Violet safe, she couldn’t be in my life? He wouldn’t understand any of it until I divulged my secret and I wasn’t willing to do that.
“Chain,” David repeated.
I stood up and exhaled. “I can’t tell you why, David.”
“Why not, Chain, you said you could tell me everything.”
“I know, but not this. All I can tell you is that I am doing this because I love her.”
“Hurting someone is not love, Chain.” I knew that and it killed me to know how much she was hurting. If I had known that this would turn out the way it did, I would never have started up with Violet. I breathed in. Like I had any control over it. When I saw her for the first time, I knew she was the one. She would always be the one and as much as I yearned for her, wanted her, I had to do the right thing. I loved her and us being together would only put her in danger. No matter what, I had to protect her, keep her safe, even if it meant giving her up.
“Please, give me something.” I had to tell him something, he was practically pleading.
“I did something, David, something unforgivable.”
“What, fucking tell me!”
“I will tell you this, I’m protecting her. Trust me, David, I want to tell you the reason, but I can’t risk putting Violet in danger, so please just let it go.”
Before he could comment, I walked out of the room.
Chapter 7.5 – Violet
It wasn’t going away, it wasn’t getting better. If anything it was getting worse. I thought that time would heal the pain in my heart, but it didn’t. With each day I was apart from Chain, my depression only deepened. That’s the funny thing about
true love—it’s your one and only, forever, something not easily dismissed. It’s like a death—you learn to live with it, but in your heart, you never get over it.
I was well experienced in heartbreak, well versed in being hurt. You would think this would be so easy for me. I got over Harrison and we were together four years, surely I could get over a man I was with only months! But Chain wasn’t like Harrison; the way I felt about him was so different.
With Harrison I learned to love him as a young girl, my first everything. Harrison was more like a high school relationship, a person that you stayed with regardless of what you wanted, only because you were together so long. I would never have left Harrison if he had not cheated and looking back now, I probably would have lived a miserable existence. Because he wasn’t my true love, Chain was.
Chain was compassionate and emotional and was never afraid to show me his real feelings. We shared a bond and emotional tie that could never be broken. We were soulmates even if he wanted to deny it. And he did deny it. He denied it completely when he left me. Now I had to learn to live and try to repair the hole in my heart and get on with my life.
My cell rang and I lifted it from the nightstand.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hey, it’s Callie. David and I were going to go out to get something to eat and were wondering if you wanted to come along.”
“I really don’t feel like going out tonight, Callie, but thanks for asking.”
She completely ignored my comment and said, “We will be by in about twenty minutes so be ready.” I wanted to fight her, to tell her no, but I didn’t.
“Okay, I’ll be ready.”
We went to a small Italian restaurant/bar outside of Philadelphia. David said they served the best lasagna in the state.
We sat at a round table for four and ordered. I glanced around and saw a band setting up. I ordered a vodka and cranberry and a small plate of spaghetti. We sat around talking and I barely ate my supper, but continued to order vodka and cranberries. Within a few hours I was pretty hammered.
“Violet, you really should eat something,” David said to me worriedly.
“I’m fine.” I stood up, swaying slightly. “I have to go to the restroom.” Callie went to stand and I held my hand up. “I am okay, Callie, it’s right over there, I will be fine.” I turned and stumbled off.
I stared in the mirror and a shroud of depression fell over me. In my drunken stupor all I could think about was Chain. I closed my eyes, trying to wish him out of my head, but he was still there. Chain. I turned the faucet on and tried to splash cold water on my face to wake myself up. I was dreaming, in a nightmare, but my head was still swirling with one thought. Chain. I rubbed my head, trying to think of anything, everything, but my mind kept going back to him. Chain. I grabbed my purse, slung it over my shoulder and stumbled out of the bathroom. My head was dizzy as the door closed and I fell against the wall, my thoughts still whirling. Chain. I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath and calm my pounding heart.
“Miss, are you alright?” a voice enquired. I slowly opened my eyes to see him standing there in front of me—Chain. I lunged at him, smashing my lips to his. His arm curled around my waist as he pulled me against his chest. The touch of him lifted away the pain, the loneliness, replacing it with comfort only he could give me. Chain.
I felt my body being ripped from him. “What the fuck are you doing?” I turned to see David glaring past me.
“She came on to me,” a voice responded. I turned to see a man with dark hair and eyes glaring back at David. Then I realized the man I had kissed was not Chain at all. It was a stranger. Embarrassed and humiliated, I ran out of the restaurant.
“Violet,” David bellowed close behind me. I ran into the parking lot and collapsed against the wall.
David reached for me and I held my hands in the air. “Please, David, leave me alone.”
“Are you alright?” David queried. I looked up at him.
“No, David, I’m not. I can’t sleep, eat or breathe without thinking about him. The more I try to forget about him, the more he surrounds me.”
“I know, Violet, I understand.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “Do you, David? Do you know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back? What did I do to deserve this?”
“Nothing.”
The tears streamed down my face freely and I began to sob hard. “Why?” My body began to shake and my knees weakened and I fell to the ground. I placed my face in my hands and screamed, “Why!” Arms wrapped around me.
“I don’t know, Violet. I wish I could tell you something, something to help you stop hurting, but I have no answers.” David helped me up. “Let’s get you home.” I nodded as he curled his arm around me and walked me to the car.
Chapter 8.0 – Chain
Sitting at my desk, I did what I did every second I breathed: thought of Violet. I wondered how she was, if she missed me as I missed her. It’s funny how love works—it was amazing when you were together, but apart it was like a curse that haunted you every day, reminding you of what you had lost.
I was talking on the phone when my office door burst open and Callie stormed in. “I want to talk to you, Chain Alexander, now!” she shouted. I was shocked by Callie’s entrance. I believe I hung the phone up without even saying goodbye.
“What would you like to talk about?” I queried.
I could see vengeance and hate in her eyes as she drew closer. “Do you have any clue what you did to Violet? How badly you hurt her?”
“Yes,” I answered softly.
“Why? Why did you do it?”
“Callie, I have nothing but respect for you, you are after all David’s wife, but my personal life is my business and I would like to keep it that way.” She completely ignored my words.
“What kind of person tells a woman he loves her, then dumps her without any reason? You know that is what is killing her. Not knowing why the man she loved left her.”
“Like I said—” She rudely interrupted.
“Cut the bullshit, Alexander. I know the truth. You used her and when she got too close, you let her go. David already told me. I have seen your type before plenty of times. But I’m here to tell you this. You stay away from her and me. I do not want you near my home and if it was possible, I would keep you away from David, because you make me sick. You are a devious man who used an innocent woman to get what he wanted, then tossed her aside like garbage,” she screamed. Callie’s words hurt me, because they were far from the truth.
She had every right to be angry. I would be the same way if she had treated David the way I had treated Violet. But as selfish as this might sound, when she mentioned her not wanting me around David, it made me nervous. He was all I had, I couldn’t lose him.
“Callie, what happened between Violet and me doesn’t have anything to do with David.”
“Are you kidding me? David is my husband, we vowed to be together for life, so we are a package deal. Do you think I want him or me around a man like you? A man who used my best friend—” She choked on the words and I could see tears rolling down her cheeks. Shit, I hurt her too. When was I going to stop hurting people? I stood up and approached her. “Callie, please don’t get upset.” I reached for her and she held her hands up. “Don’t touch me.” I stepped back as she wiped the tears from her face. “Stay away from us, Chain Alexander.” Then as quickly as she had floated in, she left.
***
David called off work the next few days, stating he was ill. I didn’t believe it for one minute. I think between what I had done to Violet and his wife giving me the riot act, he was staying clear of me. He was embarrassed, embarrassed to call me his friend, and he had every right to feel that way. I was embarrassed of myself. I had let him down, Callie down, Violet down and myself down. If I could change it I would. But I couldn’t.
After a morning meeting, I made my way back to my office and sat down at my desk to sign some paperwork for
the Minneapolis mall. We had finally received the permits and the building had resumed. This should have been the happiest day of my life, but it wasn’t. I was numb and felt empty inside. My life no longer had any meaning without Violet in it.
My office door flew opened and David walked in.
I gave him a light smile. “Are you feeling better?”
He stood in front of my desk, hands on his hips and he exhaled. “I wasn’t sick.”
“I know.” He sat down on the couch and crossed his legs. I stood up and walked over, sitting next to him.
He tilted his head to look at me. “I need you to tell me why you broke things off with Violet.”
“I told you before, it was to protect her.”
“From what?”
“David, I told you, I really don’t want to—” David raised his hand, silencing me.
“We have been friends for a long time. You are like a brother to me, Chain. You can trust me, now please tell me. I am begging you on our friendship. Why did you break things off with Violet?” His eyes were stone cold and I knew if I didn’t tell him something, he would probably never talk to me again.
“I made a mistake, David, and it has come back to haunt me. A mistake that has put Violet in danger.”
“Danger? From what?” I wanted to tell him but the words wouldn’t come from my lips. He stood up and paced for a minute, then leaned against my desk. “Or should I say who?” His comment shocked me. Why would he say who? Did he know something I didn’t?
“Chain, after I left you the other day, I did a little researching and I know why you dumped Violet.”
“How?”
“I talked to someone who knows the situation quite well.”
“Who?”
He smiled, holding up his finger. “One minute,” he said mysteriously, then scurried away and walked out of my office door. He came back a few minutes later, a man following behind him, a man I knew very well—my dad.
I stood up angrily. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“David asked me to come,” my father mumbled. I noticed that he had aged in the years we had been apart, his hair a lot grayer than I remembered and the lines on his face more visible.