Crossing the Line

by Long, Samantha

  Colin laughed. “At first I was nervous, but they’re surprisingly resilient and sturdy.”

  “Thanks for the gifts.” Nora set the empty bottle on the table beside her hospital bed, her eyes a little glassy.

  “May I?” Victoria reached out her hands. “It’s been so long since I’ve burped a baby.”

  “You have to burp them?”

  Victoria bit her lip to contain her laughter. “Of course you do.” She settled Lola’s tiny body over her shoulder and gently patted her back. “If you don’t, it turns into gas, and that can be extremely painful for a baby.”

  “Oh.” Something shifted inside him at the sight of her cuddling the baby. She looked so natural, as if she was born to be a mother.

  “Do you want to try?” Victoria asked.

  He quickly shook his head, took a step back. “I might drop her. Then Colin would take me outside and kick my ass.”

  Colin chuckled, and Nora said, “I’d beat him to it.”

  Victoria took a seat in a chair and hummed to Lola, continually patting her back. A few minutes later Lola let out a manly burp. “There we go, sweetheart. Nick, come here and sit down. You need to try. She’s practically your niece.”

  His throat constricted, but he did what she said. He couldn’t tell her no, no matter how terrifying holding Lola would be. After he settled into the chair, Victoria showed him how to arrange his body, then set Lola gently into his arms.

  “There, that’s not so hard. Relax, you won’t hurt her.” Victoria placed a hand on his shoulder. When Lola’s eyes fluttered closed, Victoria smiled. “See? She feels warm and protected.”

  A deep sense of wonder overcame him as he stared down into her tiny face. When Lola wrapped her fingers around his thumb, his heart warmed. It suddenly became amazing to him that two of his friends could create such a sweet, little baby. He heard the others talking, but couldn’t stop staring at Lola.

  “Nick, you look good with a baby in your arms.” Nora winked at him. “Maybe you should change your rule about never having kids.”

  His gaze shot to Victoria, who looked away from him. He wasn’t sure what was going on between them, if she’d fully forgiven him for acting like an ass the other day, but he hated that he’d ever made that stupid rule. He needed to explain to her why he’d said it in the first place, make her understand that he wasn’t so sure that’s what he wanted anymore.

  They stayed for a while longer and left when Nora couldn’t keep her eyes open. Victoria didn’t speak on the way down to the truck, even when he tried to talk to her. He tried to give her some space on the ride back, but it ate at him. When he couldn’t keep it in any longer, he asked, “What’s going on?”

  Victoria sighed. “I just don’t understand what we’re doing. I’m not trying to force you to make us official, or even offer a relationship. I’m just confused. You obviously don’t like kids, and I have twins. You don’t like relationships, and I’m not so sure I can keep sleeping with you without one. I’m not like those other women.” Her eyes shimmered, confused.

  He hated seeing the emotions, knowing he was the one who put them there. He wanted to give her his full attention, so he pulled off on the side of the road and put the truck into park.

  “I’m not making you choose or giving you an ultimatum, Nick.” Victoria implored him to understand. “I just keep hearing from all your friends how surprised they are that you’re with me. It makes me feel like a challenge, something you want to cross off your list.”

  He wanted to be insulted by that, but he could understand where she was coming from. He had a reputation, and it wasn’t a great one. “The fact that you’re not like the others is why I’m with you. You’re definitely a challenge, but not because I want to cross you off my list. You’re a challenge because you speak your mind. You’re independent and know what you want. I know if I fuck up, you’ll kick me to the curb, not lower your standards to keep me around.”

  Her eyes widened. In a second his seatbelt was off, and he leaned toward her. “The thing about kids….” He shoved a hand through his hair, his stomach knotting. “I’ve told only a few people about this.” Her fingers intertwined with his, giving him the strength to keep talking.

  “My father knocked my mother up, twice. He stayed a few months after Luke was born and split on her when she needed him the most. When he was around, he was a drunk who liked to use her as a punching bag.”

  “Oh, Nick.” Victoria wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. His heart beat rapidly against her ear, his body tense. She could hear the pain in his voice, and her heart ached for him.

  “I swore to myself that I would never have kids because I didn’t want to treat them like he did us. I didn’t want to risk his blood turning me into something I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t hurt my own kids like that.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  He frowned when she sat back.

  “You’re nothing like him. I’ve never seen you so much as raise your voice at someone. You are thoughtful, and you held and looked at that baby with kindness. Even though you were terrified, you held her. That isn’t something someone would do who had the attitude of your father.”

  Victoria placed her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to see her. She looked him in the eyes, trying to make him see what she saw in him. “You always ask me about the girls, and I know you are genuinely interested in hearing the answer. I’ve heard about the little boys you and your brother foster at the gym, kids who grew up like you, with no father.”

  “You really have that much faith in me?”

  “Absolutely.” She pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. “I’ve never seen you be anything but gentle.”

  He kissed her again. “Am I staying the night?”

  Victoria allowed him to change the subject, not wanting him to feel too pressured. “Yes.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  VICTORIA WOKE UP to the smell of bacon and pancakes. She snuggled deep in her covers, smiling wide, remembering the way he’d made love to her last night. The way he’d lingered over her body felt different, more emotional. It scared her and made her blissfully happy at the same time.

  She needed to get up, but she felt so amazing. She couldn’t believe she’d stuck around with Roger for ten years and missed out on being this well taken care of. The smell of the food made her stomach growl, so she stretched, got up, and pulled on some clothes.

  Nick stood in front of her stove, shirtless, wearing only a pair of jeans. She tried not to drool over his muscular back. When he heard her come in, he looked over his shoulder. “Good morning, babe. Want to start the coffee?”

  She hugged him from behind, loving the feel of him there in her kitchen. She kissed his shoulder. “Definitely.”

  He grinned. “I need it. Someone wouldn’t stop attacking me. I couldn’t get to sleep.”

  “Oh, that’s how it was?” she teased as she started the coffee. “I seem to remember it differently.”

  “What time are your sisters coming?” Nick carried their plates to the table.

  “Around noon. We haven’t been shopping in a while. Addie’s having withdrawals.” Victoria bit into her pancakes and moaned. “These are amazing!”

  “I made them for Luke and me a lot when we were kids. Mom had to work crazy hours, and we usually let her sleep as long as she needed. Luke was better at dinner foods.”

  “Well, you’re amazing at pancakes. What else can you make?”

  “Omelets, French toast, homemade cinnamon buns.” He grinned at her look. “I can tell you like cinnamon buns.”

  “They’re my favorite. I’ve never had homemade ones before.”

  “I’ll make them next time.”

  She smiled so wide it felt like her face would split in half. He was thinking of next time.

  “So do your siste
rs mind that I’m with you?” Nick asked.

  “No, what kind of question is that?”

  He shrugged. “We didn’t run in the same circles in school. I wasn’t exactly the best behaved or from the upper cream of society.”

  “I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just imply that my sisters and I were shallow snobs.” Victoria pointed her fork at him. “They encouraged me to talk to you after the wedding date.”

  “Then I need to buy them some flowers for making you change your mind.”

  “They’d love that.” She laughed. “Well, Halle would. Addie hates flowers. She’d rather get chocolate. That girl is a chocolate fiend.”

  “She seems a little wilder than you and Halle.”

  “Oh, she is. I don’t know if it’s because she’s the baby or just her personality, but she has this take no prisoners attitude that skipped me and Halle.” Victoria wished she had Addie’s strength. The girl knew what she wanted, and she went after it.

  “Are you shopping for your mom?” Nick asked as he started to clean up.

  “Yes, and stop cleaning. You made breakfast, I clean. That’s the rule.” Victoria grabbed the plates from him and set them in the sink.

  “If that’s what you say.” He kissed her. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Luke wants me to meet him at the gym soon for mentoring. You don’t mind if I use your shower, right?”

  “No.” She wondered where all this indecision of his came from. “Go, take a long one, relax. It’s going to take me a minute to clean.”

  He left the kitchen, and for a minute she stood there, staring after him. After a year, it felt weird to have a man in her house again. Not a bad weird, just something she’d have to get used to if he hung around.

  * * *

  “What about this?” Addie held up a gorgeous white sweater. “Do you think she’d like this? It’d be perfect with the gray slacks she has.”

  Victoria appraised the sweater. “It would be perfect. I just don’t know what I’m going to get her. You’re getting the sweater, Halle’s getting the cute mixing bowl. I have no idea what to get.”

  Addie cocked her head to the side. “You never have a hard time picking out something for Mom. Usually you have this amazing piece of furniture or pottery to give her.”

  “I know! This is ridiculous.” Victoria glanced around the clothing store. Saturdays were always busy, but it seemed like everyone and their grandmother were there. This weekend seemed to be the weekend for Mother’s Day shopping.

  “You’re distracted.” Halle laughed at her sister’s expression. “Let’s stop shopping, get lunch, and you can tell us all about how it’s been going with Nick. Maybe if you talk about it, you can focus on other things.”

  “Good idea. I’m starving.” They decided on a sushi place in the food court that Halle loved. After getting their food, they made for one of the tables.

  “So, how has it been going between you two?” Addie asked.

  “We had a sort of fight, you know. When he panicked.” Victoria shook her head. “He freaked out about fixing my sink.”

  Addie wrinkled her nose. “Why did he freak out about that?”

  Victoria told them about that day.

  “Sounds like he’s got to work through some of his misgivings about you being more than a one-night stand,” Halle told her.

  “That’s why when he apologized, and it was sincere, I decided to let it slide. And last night was amazing.” Victoria knew she smiled like an idiot, but she couldn’t make herself care. “He’s sweet, sexy as hell, and the way he treats me…it’s crazy that I ever thought Roger cared about me. Even if Nick doesn’t care, he treats me respectfully.”

  “Oh, he cares.” Addie nodded. “Definitely cares. He was so worried he’d fucked up on the wedding date. He asked me how he could make it up to you. That’s the worry of a man who cares.”

  “Maybe,” Victoria said. “But I don’t want to focus on that yet. I just want to enjoy how it is right now. If I start thinking about wanting a relationship, it could scare him off. He already panicked over fixing my sink, what do you think could happen if I pressured him? I could be setting myself up for disappointment.”

  “I think it’s a great.” Halle told her. “You deserve to be swept off your feet. Roger was a dumbass that only cared about himself and how to climb the social ladder.”

  “It kills me that I had children with him. Why didn’t I see how selfish he was and know that there was no way he could be a good father? Lucia and Helena deserve better.” Victoria wanted to beat herself up forever for that. “That’s another reason I don’t want to focus on a relationship with Nick. Several people have already talked about his aversion to children.”

  “He doesn’t have an aversion to children. Didn’t you say he mentors boys at his brother’s gym?” Addie asked. “That doesn’t sound like a person who hates children.”

  Victoria thought about what he’d said about his father. She couldn’t share that with her sisters, it was too personal. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to get too attached to him. I feel like I am already, so it scares me. But I’ll choose my girls over a man any day.”

  “Hopefully that won’t be an issue.” Halle smiled. “I think he adores you. You may just change his mind about everything.”

  Victoria didn’t think that would happen. She didn’t have a great track record with changing men’s minds. Roger was proof of that.

  They searched through some more stores, and Victoria was able to focus on finding the perfect gift for her mom—a mirror that would look great over the table in the foyer. Her mom had talked about replacing her old one for a few months now.

  She tried not to let thoughts of Nick enter her mind, but they kept sneaking in. It was hard for her to imagine a man treating his sons like that; her own father had been nothing but the best to her and her sisters. How would it have changed her if either of her parents had abandoned her, had abused the other? Could she really blame Nick for the way he felt? Her sisters had talked about changing his mind, but if the wounds were that deep, was it even possible?

  * * *

  The gym was closed two Saturdays a month for mentoring the troubled boys. They were able to fully focus on helping them when there weren’t a lot of men around. Nick watched the ten boys warm up and glanced at Luke. “I see some new faces.”

  “Yeah, two boys were signed up by their mothers yesterday.” Luke crossed his arms, also watching. They both wore gym shorts, tennis shoes, and white t-shirts with the gym logo on it.

  The boys who came for the mentoring usually belonged to single-mother households. The mothers were at their wits end with the boys’ behavior and decided they needed to enroll them in the mentorship program. Nick understood, because he remembered how wild he and his brother had been.

  When the boys finished warming up, Luke had them line up. “Okay, boys. Your moms have put you in this program because you’ve either been acting up at home or getting yourselves in trouble with the law or at school.” Luke walked the line, looking each boy in the eye. Most of the boys knew this already, but he liked to reiterate it so they didn’t get any ideas about ruining the progress they’d made so far. “During this mentorship, Nick and I will be teaching you self-discipline, respect, and self-esteem. If you have high self-esteem, you’ll be less likely to be swayed into making bad choices.”

  The two new boys stood with their bodies tense, staring at the floor, unlike the others who stood tall and paid attention. It was normal for the new kids to be insolent, to reject what they taught. Every kid was different, so they learned at different speeds, but they never left the program until Nick and Luke were satisfied. They understood the mothers’ frustration. They’d caused their own mother plenty.

  After the speech, Luke split them up into two groups, splitting up the new boys. Nick took his boys to the weights, and Luke took his to the
cardio center.

  After one boy thanked Nick for helping him ace his exams, Nick turned his attention to a newcomer. “Jude, I’ll show you what we’re doing before you start.”

  Jude shrugged, shoulders hunched. “Whatever.”

  Patience, Nick reminded himself. Their attitudes were part of the reason the kids were there. He steered Jude over to the dumbbells. “Have you ever worked out before?” When Jude shook his head, Nick handed him two small dumbbells. “That’s okay. Most of the others hadn’t either.”

  Jude glanced at the other kids before he stared at the floor. “‘Kay.”

  “Look at me,” Nick said gently. It took a minute, but Jude’s gaze rose to his. “You don’t have to worry about the other kids. They’ve been where you are now, started out the same way. We don’t tolerate bullying here.”

  “Whatever.” Jude rolled his eyes.

  “First of all, ‘whatever’ is not considered an answer here. I’ve let it go so far, but the next time you say it, you’ll give me thirty push-ups.” Nick spoke firmly but without anger. He wanted Jude to know he was serious but not mad. Anger was the quickest way to raise a kid’s walls. “The other kids had to learn the same lesson. You answer with a sir, look us in the eyes, and speak clearly.”

  Jude’s eyes narrowed. “What. Ev. Er.” He enunciated each syllable, daring Nick to lose his temper.

  The other kids in his group paused.

  Nick nodded at Jude, making sure his demeanor stayed calm. “There is a mat right there on your left. Give me thirty push-ups.” The new kids liked to see how far they could push until they lost their tempers. Sadly, it’s what most of the boys were used to.

  Jude lowered himself to the mat. Nick knelt to help him into the correct position.

  “We’re here to teach you respect for yourself and for others. We’re not here to boss you around, to make you do stuff just so we can laugh. I want to help you believe in yourself.” Nick moved Jude’s arms out a little so they weren’t right beside each other.