Phoenix

by Crouch, Janie

  Anne was right. “I know. But…”

  It was the but. Because yes, everything Anne said was true, but not guaranteed. She might still be having mostly great days in twenty years.

  But she might be in a wheelchair next year.

  Adult diapers.

  Unable to remember things.

  “I can’t take the risk.” The words felt ripped from her throat. “Not with Riley’s future.”

  There was a world of sympathy in Anne’s eyes. “Here’s my ultimate question. What would you do if the roles were reversed? What if, like Felix Lowe, Riley went out tomorrow and broke his back in a stunt? Would that be it for you?”

  Riley shook her head. “I know where you’re going with this—”

  “Just answer the question. If Riley were unable to do all his crazy stunts, if he were unable to even walk or pick you up in those strong arms, would that change who he is to you? Would that change how you feel about him? Would you stop loving him?”

  Of course she wouldn’t. It would be hard, it would be tragic, but Riley was much more than just what he could do physically.

  Of course, Anne wasn’t asking any of this because she needed real answers. She was making a point.

  But it wasn’t the same.

  Boy Riley was so amazing, brought so much to the table.

  The walkie-talkie went off, saving her from answering Anne’s question.

  It had already been a crazy morning—the worst possible day for the volunteers to have to move all the tents and the athletes to have to cross multiple rope bridges.

  Then the storm had caused a landslide over a portion of the course the racers would need to run through. The entire support staff had left to help fix either the landslide problem or to set up the new camp.

  After yesterday, Zac was taking safety beyond seriously. Wyatt was here to help. Aiden and Gavin had also come out from Oak Creek. There would be no more chances for sabotage, if that was what had really happened.

  Every harness at every rope bridge had been checked and double-checked today. The Linear guys would be following the racers discreetly—meaning none of the athletes would ever know the men were around—to make sure nothing hinky was going on.

  “Annie, we need you over at the western Flat Creek bridge.” Zac’s voice came through the walkie-talkie. “We’ve got a competitor who blew out his knee.”

  “Damn it,” Anne muttered under her breath. She clicked on the walkie-talkie. “Roger that. Do you suspect more foul play?”

  “No, just tripped over a root. This weather is hell out here.”

  “Okay. Stabilize it as best you can.”

  “Does Riley mind staying there and releasing Phoenix at the correct time? Honestly, I trust him on his own recognizance, but this will squash any doubts that might arise.”

  Riley nodded to Anne.

  “No problem, she’s got it,” Anne told him.

  Riley helped grab the medical supplies Anne would need to stabilize the patient until they could get him to the hospital.

  “Don’t think somebody’s agony gets you off the hook,” Anne said as Riley helped her into her rain jacket. She’d have to walk nearly an hour to get to the bridge. “It’s just the two of you guys here. Now’s the perfect time.”

  Riley rolled her eyes. “Lord, Anne, he’s having a hard enough race as it is without me dumping that on him.”

  Anne looked like she was going to argue further, but Riley just raised an eyebrow and pointed at the door. This would have to wait.

  Anne walked out into the rain. Riley watched from the window as she stopped for a second under the cabin’s small overhang to talk to Boy Riley. She was obviously explaining the situation, since he glanced at the RV and then nodded.

  Riley forced herself to look away from the window. She returned to the filing she’d never gotten to yesterday because of Amber’s breakdown. But it didn’t take up nearly as much time as she would’ve liked.

  Damn it. Riley still had twenty-four minutes before he could leave. She couldn’t stand the thought of him out there all alone, so she got on her rain gear and walked out.

  Boy Riley slid over to make room for her under the overhang. “I hear you’re my babysitter.”

  She gave him a small smile. “Worst possible day for a torrential downpour. Most of the team is trying to get the new camp set up. There was some sort of mudslide that took out part of a path, and now someone has blown out his knee.”

  “I hate to hear that, but I’m a little glad I’m not the only person having a shit day.”

  “Yeah, Anne and I thought you might make a run for it a couple times.”

  “Believe me, I thought about it.” That little half smile. God.

  She looked down at her watch, ignoring the fact that it used to be his and he’d given it to her. “Nineteen minutes to go.”

  He leaned his head back against the wall behind, closing his eyes.

  “You doing okay?”

  He nodded and then shrugged. “I guess everything has really started to take its toll. Not to mention nobody got much sleep last night. When it’s raining like this, tents leak no matter how good they are.”

  “Yeah, it was really hard being all safe and dry inside the RV.”

  He chuckled but didn’t open his eyes. “Wench.”

  “As soon as you finally get your ass on the road, I’m driving the RV to campsite two. I’ll still be nice and dry.”

  “Be careful.”

  She shook her head. “You’re telling me to be careful? You’re the one out in this ridiculous weather.”

  “Yeah.” He opened one eye to look at her. “It starts at Brickman’s Bridge.”

  They both knew it way too well. It was where he’d kissed her for the first time when they’d met on the race three years ago.

  It was also where he’d told her he loved her for the first time a few months later.

  And it very definitely wasn’t a bridge. At best, it was three ropes across the ravine. You snapped yourself in with a harness and carabiner and then used the two ropes at waist height to keep your balance as you walked across on the third.

  “That’s going to be fun in this weather.”

  “Nothing to worry about. We’ve done that enough times, I could do it in my sleep.”

  He was probably right. He’d been so patient with her that first time she’d tried to cross it. She’d been terrified. He’d coaxed her across with kisses and the sweetest, kindest words.

  He’d been the one to say I love you first, but her heart had belonged to him well before he’d said it.

  They sat in silence until it was finally time for him to get ready to go.

  “Will you come watch me, for old times’ sake?”

  “Yeah.” She knew she shouldn’t, but she told herself she would do it for anyone. Just to make sure they made it safely across and to the next checkpoint.

  Yeah, right.

  But it would be good. Full circle. She’d given him her heart there. That was where she would take it back.

  She stood. “Okay, one minute.”

  She expected him to jump straight up, but he seemed to need the cabin wall for assistance.

  “Whoa there, Phoenix, are you sure you’re okay?”

  He winked at her. “Just a little stiff. Not all of us had a nice, dry, warm RV to sleep in last night.”

  She nodded but was still worried. What else was she going to do? Unless she pulled rank and said he was medically unfit to race, he was leaving here in just over forty-five seconds. “Look, be careful out there. I know you want to make up time, but don’t push too hard in these conditions.”

  She rolled her eyes at her own words. Telling Phoenix not to go at something full force was like telling the sun not to shine.

  Full force was the only way he knew how to go. And she loved him for it.

  “I’ll be careful. And I’m sure once I get a few minutes under me, I’ll be feeling fine. Just had too long to get stiff.”

  “
Okay. Ten seconds.”

  He smiled at her. “I’ll see you at Brickman’s Bridge. I’ll be the one zooming across it faster than anyone you’ve ever seen.”

  He winked at her, then turned and ran. She glanced at her watch. It had been exactly ten seconds. She had no idea how his brain kept track of things like that, but timing had always come intuitively to him.

  She walked back to the RV and made the final preparations for the move to camp two. Riley had to run a couple of miles before getting to Brickman’s Bridge. She could walk a much more direct path, but he’d be running much faster so she didn’t wait too long.

  Why had she agreed to do this? What part of her was so incapable of completely cutting him from her life?

  All the parts.

  She wouldn’t go. That was a better plan. Forget the full-circle bullshit. She would get in the RV and drive to camp two and explain to him what had happened once he arrived there later.

  Mind made up, she took off her jacket and put it in the passenger seat, then got behind the wheel.

  She’d hadn’t gone more than five feet before she stopped again with a curse. She put the RV back in park and thumped her head on the steering wheel.

  Riley would stop and wait for her at the bridge. She didn’t know how long he would wait before he figured out she wasn’t coming, but she knew for a fact he would stop and wait.

  Because she’d told him she’d be there.

  “Goddammit, Riley. You’re such a dumbass.” She didn’t know if she was talking to her or him or them both. The advantage of having the same name: more efficient cursing.

  She got out and slammed the door behind her, cursing even more foully as she jogged around to get her jacket on the passenger side. She was wet by the time she put it on and fuming at herself as she marched off toward Brickman’s Bridge.

  She got there and found a little shelter in some small trees. Unfortunately, all she could do from there was look out across the rope bridge to the very spot where Riley had first told her he loved her.

  She’d been so surprised. It’d been so crazy that someone as well known and vivacious as him would fall for her. They’d been dating for five months at that point. Five months of whirlwind weekend trips where he’d flown her out to wonderful places, and even a couple of surprise visits where she’d gotten off work and found him waiting in the parking lot.

  They’d gone camping and ended up here. They’d made it across that rope bridge, and he’d been so proud of her for doing something she’d been so scared of that the I love you had just fallen from his lips.

  She’d been shocked, joked that he could take them back.

  He hadn’t. He’d loved her, and he wasn’t afraid to tell her.

  They’d barely made it to a nearby emergency cabin before ripping each other’s clothes off.

  She rubbed her chest as she stood there staring off into the past.

  God, she’d thought they would be together forever.

  “Okay, I’m finally here.”

  She was startled back into the present by Riley’s words and his laborious breathing.

  “Jesus, are you okay?” His face was bright red like he’d been sprinting for the two miles. He should know better than to be trying to move at that speed so early in the day. There was way too much race left for him to be expending that sort of energy.

  “Yeah, just haven’t worked all my kinks out yet. I…” He trailed off.

  She reached for him, but he turned away to look at the bridge, so she let her hand drop.

  “I wanted to try to talk to you while we were here. I thought it might…” He shook his head and trailed off again, not looking back at her. “But I think I better just get across. I shouldn’t stay here.”

  She had to swallow a sob. This was what she’d wanted, right? For him to move forward. For him to leave her behind.

  But oh God, did it have to be right here where everything had first started for them? Maybe it did. Full circle.

  “Yeah, you should go,” she said.

  Just be strong for a couple more minutes.

  Do you love him enough to give him a clean break? A fresh start?

  Her fingers itched to reach for him, her nails biting into her palms inside her jacket pocket. “Just go, Phoenix. Just go.”

  Because if he didn’t, she was about to break down and tell him everything.

  He hesitated and her heart thumped in her chest. If he turned around now and told her he loved her, she’d break.

  But he didn’t. He grabbed the harness on the ground, slipping his backpack off and putting the harness on his body. Without a word he put the backpack back on and hooked himself into the line, double-checking the carabiner for safety.

  Not once did he look at her. He didn’t crack a joke. He didn’t wink or tease her about the dry RV.

  But when his hand grasped the stability rope, it was shaking.

  He had to know. He had to know that this was the actual end for them.

  He stopped. Seemed almost paralyzed.

  “Just go, Phoenix. You’ll be okay. You can do it.”

  She had to wrap her hand over her mouth to keep back her sob. He could do it. But could she?

  Without a word he took the first step onto the narrow rope, balancing himself with the two higher ropes. If he fell, he wouldn’t go far because of the safety harness.

  But she knew Phoenix. He wasn’t going to fall. And he wasn’t going to look back.

  Once he was a few feet out, she turned away. Why torture herself? Why watch him make it across to the new future and leave this gaping ravine between them?

  She began to walk away, her heart shattering into more pieces with each step.

  But call her a glutton for punishment, because as she got to the last spot where she could turn around and still see, she did so. She had to look at him just one more time.

  Shock flew through her system at what she saw.

  He was barely halfway across, stiff, when he should’ve already been almost to the other side by now.

  And then his body began to shake, and he let go of the hand ropes, collapsing. It was only the connection to the safety harness that kept him from plummeting to his death.

  “Riley!” she screamed, running back toward the bridge.

  He didn’t move.

  Chapter 17

  She ran back up to the rope bridge, still screaming his name. The way he’d fallen had pushed him about two-thirds of the way across the narrow ravine, hanging at an unnatural angle from his harness.

  He was out cold.

  Or worse.

  She grabbed one of the harnesses and slipped it on herself, then clipped herself into the safety rope.

  She didn’t let herself even stop and think about what could happen, the things that could go wrong if her MS decided to make itself known right now.

  Riley needed her.

  Her heart was threatening to leap from her chest.

  She cursed herself for not bringing her gloves. The rain wasn’t unbearably cold, but the rope was stiff and rough on her palms, not meant to be handled by naked skin. She moved one step at a time, forcing herself to remain steady, looking in front of her rather than at the ten-story drop beneath her.

  She’d been over this rope bridge before, she reminded herself. Had traversed higher and wider ravines than this one. Riley had made sure of it. He had always found a way to bring out the most adventurous side in her—bring out the impossible in her.

  He’d never goaded her or tried to talk her into things she wasn’t ready for. He’d just helped her learn skill after skill until one day, she found she was ready and able to do the crazy things.

  They’d rarely done normal date stuff, and now she was thankful for it.

  Oh God. He was just dangling here.

  “Talk to me, Phoenix,” she yelled out over the sound of the rain. “Riley!”

  All the things that could’ve happened to him—aneurysm, seizure, heart attack—ran through her mind. He wouldn’
t be the first athlete to die of natural causes while in the middle of an event like this.

  It felt like eternity to get to him, although it was probably less than two minutes.

  “Riley! Talk to me, baby.”

  Relief flooded her system when he groaned and moved slightly. She still couldn’t see his face, but he obviously wasn’t conscious. But he was alive. That was the most important thing.

  She needed to get closer to him to evaluate his condition. That meant she was going to have to let go of the waist-height balance lines.

  As soon as she did so, she was going to fall. Her safety rope would catch her.

  But fuuuucck. Knowing one small rope and harness were all that kept her from certain death—especially after watching what had happened to Riley and Baby yesterday—did not give her the warm fuzzies.

  But she didn’t have time to feel uncomfortable. Not with Riley dangling unconscious.

  Gritting her teeth, she crouched down on the walking rope and let go of the balance ropes. She gasped past the sickening lurch in her stomach as she fell the few feet before the safety rope pulled taut on her harness, stopping her fall.

  She reached over and grabbed Riley. He was struggling to breathe. His face was swollen.

  Anaphylaxis.

  Her brain spun into overdrive. He could’ve been bitten or stung by any number of creatures, causing a reaction that was blocking his airway. She had to figure out a way to get him off this damn rope bridge. There was no way she was going to be able to hoist up his dead weight, and she wouldn’t be able to balance him even if she could.

  He didn’t have that sort of time. He needed epinephrine right now.

  The nearest EpiPen was back at the RV. It would be much quicker to just leave him here and bring her med kit back.

  But God, just leaving him here, dangling off the bridge in this storm? There was lightning. He could be hit before she got back.