Lionslayer's Woman

by Nhys Glover

  He’d been worried about her since getting her back. She seemed to have lost her spark. At first, he thought it was simply her physically weakened state that made her appear so flat and lifeless, but then, as she began to eat and drink again, he realised it was not just physical. Everything that had happened to her in the last month had eaten away at her confidence. The fiery young woman who had challenged him in Antiochia had turned into a sad, pensive girl, unwilling to make any decisions beyond the very basic ones of day-to-day living.

  Even now, he wasn’t sure if she really wanted to spend the extra days here with him or push on to their destination. It was almost as if she’d abdicated all responsibility for her life. This new Galeria was closer to the Roman patrician’s model of what a woman should be and he hated it.

  The little town of Samonion looked no different to dozens of places he’d seen on his journeys. Even the ancient temple on the hilltop, dedicated to Athene Samonion, didn’t distinguish it from any other Hellenic territory around the Aegean. However, he remembered this place well from his pirate days. They’d had a secret base in one of the inlets on the northern side of the promontory, and he’d found this town particularly appealing back then. Now it felt like a lifetime ago that he’d been a pirate and walked these streets. Yet the place looked as if it hadn’t changed at all in the last thirteen years of his absence.

  There was a lovely little inn up on the hill that overlooked the cape, he remembered. Only locals knew of it, and because it was farther from the harbour, few travellers came upon it by accident. It was the safest place he could think of for them to rest and rebuild Galeria’s strength. So, it was to this place that he led her.

  After they’d taken their few possessions to their room upstairs, they sat in the pretty little garden that overlooked the cape. It was still early, so few locals occupied the tables. Only a few old men dozed in the shade, absently flapping at the flies that landed on their faces.

  While they sipped cool, white wine and ate goat’s cheese and flatbread, they stared out at the aquamarine waters of the Aegean. A slight breeze cooled the hot summer air as the grape-leafed covered arbour, under which they sat, provided them with much needed dappled shade.

  For the longest time Galeria said nothing and the silence was anything but comfortable. In the end, he tried to bridge the distance growing between them with questions that needed to be asked.

  ‘What’s wrong, moyo wangu? Did something happen to you while you were in the hands of the slavers… did they hurt you?’ He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, because if it turned out they had hurt her he’d have to kill those men, and that wasn’t possible now. Nevertheless, the urge would continue to eat at him until he could find a way to exact his revenge.

  ‘Hurt me? No. They didn’t hurt me. Oh, you mean…’ She blushed. ‘No, I’m still a virgin. They saw that as my value and they treated me well enough.’

  ‘Except they didn’t feed you,’ he said gruffly.

  ‘They did. I just didn’t eat. I couldn’t stomach food. I still have to force it down.’

  ‘Why? What’s happened to make you want to wither and die like this?’ It hurt him to say the words, and so he looked away to the sea again as he took another swallow of the fresh, crisp wine.

  ‘Wither and die? Yes, that describes how I feel. The woman I was has withered and died. It was right that she did. That woman considered herself an equal to men. She thought her intellect made her wise. Though my father didn’t realise what he was doing when he gave me those misguided beliefs, he was, in fact, signing his own death warrant. That warped image of womanhood he helped to develop finally brought our family to ruin. It nearly destroyed you, Cyra and Appius. It’s good that it withered and died. The new Galeria won’t be so quick to think of, or for, herself.’ The last words were barely more than a whisper, and when they finally petered out, she looked at him with a wan smile.

  He knew that look. He’d seen it on Livia’s face when she’d explained to him why she had to be beaten to keep her mother’s bad blood from taking control. It was the expression of madness.

  Fear had him pushing his stool out from under him. Desperately, he grabbed her by the arms and drew her up to face him, giving her a little shake that made her head wobble backward and forward like the head of a drooping flower.

  ‘Stop this nonsense at once, do you hear me! I won’t have it! You were the one who taught me that I wasn’t responsible for the bad things that happened in my life. Now you’re giving in to that same crazy thinking? No, Galeria, I won’t let you do that to yourself.’ He saw the tears trickling out of the corners of her eyes and the anger left him as quickly as it had come. He drew her into his arms and held her there, trying to infuse his strength into her, trying to drive out those insane thoughts by his willpower alone.

  ‘The woman who gave me back my life was the one who strode into a crowd of aroused males to save a slave girl she didn’t even know. The woman who taught me to live again was the one who set off alone in the dead of night to save a Stoic and his family from the Praetorians. The woman who allowed me to love again was the one who believed in the equality of all people, no matter what their gender or status. That kind, compassionate and brave woman can’t be allowed to wither and die. I won’t allow it. Because if she withers and dies, so will I. And I’ve only just come back to life.’

  He heard her sob as she gripped his tunic in her fists. ‘Look at the trouble I’ve caused…’ he thought he heard her say between gasping breaths.

  ‘Look at the trouble Antoninus has caused with his obsession with you. Do you think everything would have been all right if you’d given in and married him? It wouldn’t. Men like him are weak and destructive. They have to shore up their egos in whatever way they can. He thinks you’ll do that for him, but he would’ve soon found out that wouldn’t have worked. Then he’d have disposed of you and moved on to someone else. Maybe your sister, when she’s old enough. You did right by yourself and your family when you rejected him. You don’t placate the jackal and expect it to leave you alone. You throw stones at it and drive it from your door…’

  ‘So it can lead the lion to you?’ She lifted her head and stared at him angrily.

  ‘It would lead the lion to you sooner or later when it no longer got what it wanted. Better to have it happen when you’re still strong enough to fend off the beast.’

  ‘My father is dead!’ she cried, pounding him with her fists. ‘The lion got him!’

  ‘But your village is safe. Galeria… it’s a terrible thing that happened. Nothing will ever make that any less true, but you’re not to blame. The jackal came to your father’s door. If he’d turned Antoninus away back then, you’d never have attracted his attention. Your father brought the jackal to your door and died for it. None of this is your fault, or his, for that matter. It’s the jackal’s. I don’t know how many more times I can say it.’

  He cupped her face in his hands and drew her head up so she was forced to meet his gaze. ‘Take it from the man who’s blamed himself for every bad thing that’s ever happened in his life. You’re not to blame.’

  He saw something flicker in her grey eyes. Belief, hope? He wasn’t sure.

  ‘I love you…’ she whispered.

  As if suddenly realising what she’d said, she flushed red and lowered her eyes.

  Knocked sideward by the swift change in the direction of their conversation, he felt instantly weak with need. Love him? How could she love him? But the first tremulous rays of hope filled his dark, desperate soul. It was a hopeless situation. They could never be together, but in this moment, they were the sweetest words he’d ever heard and he wanted to capitalise on them.

  ‘And I love the woman you’re allowing to wither and die. Don’t take her away from me, please…’

  Her gaze shot up to mesh with his, searching for truth in his words. ‘Niobe? You love Niobe.’

  ‘I’ll always love Niobe, just as I’ll always love Livia, but you have given
me back my heart so I can love again. I never thought it was possible, but I do love you… I’ve known it since Antiochia.’

  ‘I’m not beautiful… I’m… I’m sensible…’

  He groaned and stroked her tightly bound hair. ‘Yes, you are… beautiful and sensible. And brave and intelligent. I love how you challenge me with different ways of thinking. Most people…’ He frowned as he tried to find a way of saying this without making him sound like an arrogant idiot. ‘My mind is better than most people’s. There’s been few who could compete with me intellectually or physically in my life. I’ve accepted that. It’s isolated me in a way, but I’ve accepted it. Then you come along, with a mind as sharp as my own. I’ve found an equal. I feel understood by you without having to simplify my thoughts so they’re digestible… if that makes sense.’

  She frowned at him and then softness came into her eyes. ‘I do. That’s how I felt with Pater. He was the only one who understood me… until Cyra. It’s freeing to be with people who think like you…’

  ‘Yes,’ he said simply as he gazed down into her beautiful grey eyes that were now filled with life once more. ‘Now, unless you have a reason why we shouldn’t be together… let’s go to our room. I don’t know how long we have but I don’t want to waste another moment of what time is ours.’

  She blushed brightly and looked momentarily confused. Then her gaze lifted to meet his and she nodded. ‘As long as you won’t feel guilty…’

  ‘No more guilt, moyo wangu. Niobe would never deny me this. I know that now.’

  ‘What does that mean… moy…?’

  ‘My heart. It means my heart. That’s what you’ve become. Come…’

  She let him lead her up the outside stairs to their room on the second floor. They could have been the only people in the place; the quiet was so profound around them. Nexus opened the door into the large, airy room that led out onto a flat, rooftop terrace. He ushered her into it like a gallant noble. For the first time, she considered the large, clean bed as something more than a place to sleep. It seemed to beckon to her.

  ‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ she said as he began to undo her hair so it could fall around her shoulders in clean shining waves.

  ‘Neither can I. On those dark days when I had no idea what had happened to you, I thought… I thought we’d never find our way here again… I wished I’d realised my feelings earlier, so that night… so we could have been together that night.’

  She smiled up at him. His beautiful face was troubled again, blaming himself. They both seemed to be experts at freeing others from their guilt and yet taking it all on themselves.

  ‘It wouldn’t have been right back then. Too many things stood between us. Mater… Galerianna… Niobe. Now there’s none.’

  ‘Just the difference in our station,’ he reminded her reluctantly as he combed his fingers through her hair over and over again.

  ‘What difference? We’re both liberti…’

  Nexus frowned as if he didn’t understand her, his hands becoming still.

  ‘I’m Myschia, the freed slave of Galerius Donicus, now. And I have the papers to prove it.’

  ‘But you’ll get new documents…’

  ‘I don’t want them. There is nothing Galeria had that I want, except possibly the right to free Cyra. But I’ll find a way to do that anyway.’

  ‘Your family?’

  ‘I’ll still have their love.’ She cupped his cheek in her hand and rubbed her thumb across his full bottom lip. ‘Antoninus will never stop looking for Galeria. I don’t want to live like that. I want to be someone else, someone who has more freedom to determine her own fate. You want that Galeria back, the independent, equal woman? Well, the only way you can have her is as Myschia.’

  He shook his head. ‘You don’t have to do this for me…’

  ‘It’s not for you. Don’t you understand? I’ll always feel guilty and afraid while ever I’m Galeria. She has to go. Myschia will be sensible and intelligent and all those other qualities you attributed to me, but she won’t be wanted by a monster determined to have her at any cost. It may just be a name, but it feels more than that to me. Do you understand now?’

  He nodded as he leaned in to kiss her lips softly. ‘Yes, I do understand.’

  Then, he was kissing her more deeply, reminding her once more what it felt like to experience every particle of her being. Nexus undid the pins that held her gown to her shoulders while she undid her fabric belt. Her gown fell to the floor and her underclothes followed it.

  For a moment, Nexus paused, looking down at her naked body. Self-consciously, she reached the cover herself. He stopped her gently.

  ‘No, don’t. Let me look at you. You’re like Venus rising from the sea, with eyes the colour of rainclouds and hair like the dark waves far from shore. And this mouth… ah, this mouth is as soft as rose petals… I’m not a bard, but right now I wish I had the words to describe what I see…’ His hand stroked down, following the contour of her breast, waist and thigh. Her breath hitched at the touch of both hand and eye.

  This was a dream come true. Even in her most optimistic moments, she would never have imagined Nexus looking at her this way… touching her with such reverence and awe. She felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. She felt like Venus, the equal to her dark-skinned god.

  He started to edge them to the bed but she stopped him. ‘You, too; I need to see you, too.’

  Faster than her eyes could take it in, Nexus shucked his clothes from his tall, massive body. It was a shock to see him fully aroused. But as frightening and embarrassing as it was, she also felt empowered by the sight. This was caused by her. This beautiful man was aroused by her.

  She let her hand trail down the hard contours of his body until she reached his hip. Too unsure of herself to go closer, she looked up into his eyes to read his thoughts and feelings there. What she saw made her bold. An inch at a time, she moved her hand closer until she finally touched him. His arousal jerked and Nexus gasped.

  ‘Did you like that?’ she asked, unsure if the gasp was pleasure or discomfort.

  In answer, he took her hand in his and wrapped it around his thick girth. It felt as hard as iron and yet as soft as horse’s nose, and it throbbed like a heartbeat beneath her palm.

  ‘That fits inside me?’ she asked, wondering if she’d understood the dynamics correctly. It looked too large to fit inside her body.

  ‘It will, but say so now if you have any thought of marrying a man of your class someday. If we do this, a patrician would never accept…’

  ‘I’m not a patrician anymore. You’re the only man of my class I want or will ever want. Show me how we fit, please Nexus.’

  With a light-hearted laugh, he drew her into his arms for a deep kiss. The fire that had begun to build as his eyes and fingers had touched her body now became a blaze. In moments, she was gasping with excitement, her shaking hands running up and down the smooth dark contours of his back, unable to get enough of the sensation.

  Nexus was no less affected. His hands cupped her face fiercely as he devoured her with his mouth. Harsh in breaths told her that he was finding it as hard as she was to find air. He left off kissing her mouth to rain frantic kisses over her face and eyes and then down her neck. His hands left her cheeks to clasp her breasts. With a groan, he hefted each small globe in his palms.

  ‘I’m glad you have these… they fit my hands perfectly,’ he said with a growl.

  ‘No.’ she couldn’t help smiling. ‘Not your big hands… but maybe enough…?’

  ‘More than enough. But you’d be enough even if you were like Cyra.’

  She closed her eyes tightly under the deluge of emotion that hit her then. He’d thought about being with her if she were like Cyra and had decided he’d still want her? How amazing was that? Would any other man feel like that?

  ‘Poor Cyra… it must be terrible to not have a man look at her the way you look at me…’

  Nexus nibbled at her neck u
ntil she arched to invite more of the delicious sensations he was drawing from her body.

  ‘Don’t worry about Cyra. Leonis adores her just as she is…’ he said against her damp skin.

  ‘Leonis? Cyra is with Leonis?’

  ‘Yes. And she blossoms under his loving eye.’ He stopped nibbling so he could study her face more closely. ‘I didn’t know how he could feel that way at first. A woman’s breast…’ He stroked hers tenderly. ‘They’re the essence of her femininity. But then I imagined what I’d feel if that terrible thing happened to you, and I knew it wouldn’t change how I wanted you. Nothing could change that.’

  She soaked up his words as a flower soaks up sunlight. Any residual fears about the depth of his feelings for her disappeared. He was attracted to her body, but that wasn’t the only facet of her to which he was drawn. That was what she’d always wanted from a man… someone who would want her for her mind as much as her body.

  Galeria took his beloved face between her hands and brought his mouth to hers. Kissing him with confidence she couldn’t believe she felt, she then looked him in the eye.

  ‘Thank you. More than for anything else you’ve said to me today or done for me in the last month… I thank you for those thoughts. I now truly believe you value me, not just lust after my body.’

  He nodded and smiled tenderly. ‘You’re welcome, my heart.’

  Then he kissed her again with all the fire that had been raging between them moments before. Gasping, she went with it, feeling it taking her higher and higher with every passing second.

  Then he was lowering her onto the bed so that he could work his way down her body, kissing every inch of it, touching every curve and crevice. When he found his way between her legs and pressed into her hidden place, she jerked. Touching her there seemed to ignite another fire deep inside her. This fire left her weak with need.

  Without conscious thought, she let her legs fall apart, inviting more. His growl of approval buoyed her further. As his fingers delved deep inside her, she arched her back wanting more. Moaning, she thrashed her head from side to side, unable to do anything but feel, unable to do anything but react.