Ms. Infinity (Book 1): Earth's Greatest Hero

by Kirschner, Andrew

  Some whispered to each other that she had lived a remarkable life on another world. It was rumored that she had two separate identities. The tales were told of her life as an ordinary young woman who would transform into a mighty being when her magical powers were needed. Some even believed that she had romances with men whom she could easily overpower.

  But the greatest of the legends would emerge from the tales of her death. The rumors surrounding her battle with Misery would be mingled with the accounts of the moon’s army, and in time the tales grew into a myth far greater than Ms. Infinity herself. It was said that after Misery slayed Bland Beauty, she disappeared briefly, but then reemerged as an awesome and powerful being. She was omnipotent, and she reached in all directions at once, and she seemed larger than all of space. And so she was revealed at last in her true form, as the reincarnation of The Dwelling herself.

  Center’s leadership had tried to destroy all beliefs that they could not control, most of all that of the female aspect of the Higher Being. Yet in the end they had failed; the Dwelling still existed in the hearts of those people who believed in her, and ultimately thrived. And even as Bland Beauty had chosen Earth, she had unwittingly helped to plant the seeds of resistance against the tyranny that had so long plagued her native world.

  Hal watched as Ms. Infinity and Misery seemed to disappear into the Atrium ceiling. After a few minutes, he could see and hear Misery’s spaceship taking off. He figured Ms. Infinity would be back instantly, making one of her sudden reappearances, as was her wont.

  “So she’s gone!” he shouted, “Let’s celebrate!”

  He looked behind him, expecting her to be there with her usual “gotcha” reappearance. She was not.

  He called again, “Ms. Infinity?” But she was nowhere to be found.

  Hal looked through the atrium, then at the bridge. He checked the kitchen, then the TV studio. He was about to panic. Did Misery kidnap her? What if he was alone again?

  He was about to check the prison cell, when he heard crying from a bedroom. He saw the door ajar. “Bonnie?” he called, quietly.

  “Yes, Hal.”

  “Can I come in?”

  “You’re not scared of me?”

  “Can I please come in?”

  “Fine. Come in.”

  Hal had not been in this room before. It looked surprisingly homey, almost like a teenage girl’s bedroom, with pink walls and a large mirror. Sitting on the bed was not Ms. Infinity, but Bonnie Boring, dressed in loose fitting sweats. She had obviously been crying. Her eyes and face were red, and she was clasping a teddy bear, and clutching a few tissues in her hand. Her hair was in a poorly contrived bun.

  Hal sat down next to her. “Are you alright?” he asked.

  “You’re not scared of me?”

  “Well, if you’re talking about what Misery said, one does have to consider the source. Besides, if you are trying to take over the world, you’re not in much of a hurry. So far you’ve gotten as far as half of the customer service counter at the Woodside location of The Big Box, five to seven hours a day, five days a week. From your reaction though, I’m guessing there is a story in there somewhere.”

  “My mother is always bothering me about my underachieving, but she just wants me to go back to school and get a decent job, not take over the world.”

  “I figured as much…”

  Bonnie turned to Hal. Her face was sad, but there was a mild annoyance in her tone. “But sure, there’s a story, and I’ll tell it to you. But first of all, it’s time you finally got something here, Mister Space Cadet. The general? That’s my father!”

  “Oh,” said Hal. Then a second later, he felt the full weight of that revelation. “Oh!”

  “Yeah. Let that sink in for a little while. My father wants me dead! Try living with that for your whole life. That’s almost the least of what I lived. I would say more, but I really don’t want to talk about most of it. I can’t. I really can’t.” Tears again began welling up in her eyes. Hal put his arm around her, and began to cry as well.

  She took a deep breath and continued, “I was going to be killed. I couldn’t go on living there anymore. I had to get away somehow.

  “There was this general, General Imperial, a close friend of my father’s. He was crazy. Everyone thought so, and if even this bunch thinks someone’s crazy, then you know he had to be crazy. He had a huge book of plans for conquest, and every single planet in the known universe was in there, inhabited and uninhabited. How much of his time he must have spent on this thing, I can’t even imagine. But nobody took this thing seriously. Even the hawks of the hawks thought this plan was unmanageable. So I skipped to the very back of the book, and I found this one extremely distant planet that nobody had heard of, that being Earth. And I found that it was inhabited with people who looked like us, had the same life span, and at least a reasonably similar lifestyle, if lesser abilities. I volunteered for the job of conquering it.

  “Mind you, that was an unofficial job. The president did not know about it, and neither did my father. But the military there is like that. It can operate in weird, independent ways. Even some generals operate behind other generals’ backs. The president will use one to spy on others. That’s often how dictatorship works. But sometimes they lose control of the monsters they create. And this general was able to shield me from my father while I prepared.

  “So I got the mission together. I had a spaceship, a crew, and provisions ready to go. But at the last second I went and rescued my mother, or ‘kidnapped’ her, as I’m sure they would think. We snuck in and made a few changes to the ship. I rigged the propulsion to make it faster than anything else on the planet. Then I made it invisible. We left a day early, just the two of us, and were never heard from again.

  “Anyway, we had to leave behind everyone we knew, and it was horrible, but that was our survival. There was no looking back. We had to make a new life. And so we did. We came to Earth and started over.

  “And make no mistake now. There is only one planet that I belong to. I could call Center my native planet, but it will never again be my home planet. Earth is my home, and Ms. Infinity’s home, and even the home of the monster I turned into…”

  “She didn’t seem like something indigenous to Earth…”

  “She keeps a low profile. Anyway, after I first caught Misery, you asked what my ‘true form’ is. That’s not a good question for a date, but then I suppose I’m not like other girls. But let’s settle this once and for all. My true form is this. I look like me. I look human, and this form, my Bonnie form, is who I really am.

  “I am Bonnie Boring of Woodside, Queens, just like you know me. I live with my mother, who helicopters over me and bothers me to go back to school, and I give her endless attitude. I work at the same store you do, where I like to get juvenile with my best friend and fall all over myself around you because I like you. And yes, I’m an alien with a lot of powers. And sometimes I change into a superhero and do a lot of impossible things. And yes, that’s me too, letting my freak flag fly.”

  “I have a question. I’ve been wondering this since I found out your secret identity. You can shape shift, and so I take it that that’s all the disguise you need. You also presumably have better than perfect vision. So do you really need those glasses you wear as Bonnie?”

  “Hell yeah! I want to look cool.”

  “I guess I can’t argue with results. Anyway, You should never have thought I was afraid of you because of something a crazy sociopath said. I trust you. Maybe you have the power to take over our planet, but I’m quite sure that you wouldn’t.”

  “And Hal,” said Bonnie, “I want you to think about something too.”

  “What is that?”

  “Well. Hal. You’re human, and I have to stop thinking of you as ‘only’ human. You’re not weak. Far from it. Heck, considering your name, how do I know you won’t decide all superheroes are unnecessary and scheme to destroy me?”

  “What?”

  “N
ever mind,” said Bonnie, “It’s an old movie. But look at it this way. You’re stronger than many other people. Don’t take this the wrong way, but physically you are capable of killing.”

  “I don’t follow.”

  “My point, Hal, is that you wouldn’t. Sure you could do bad things, but that is a long way from saying that you would do bad things. You are a good person. You’re a very good person. Do you remember what I said to you after I rescued you from the roof?”

  “It’s all a blur now, but I know one thing you said, ‘Never forget the power you have inside you.’ You always say that.”

  “Right. That’s my tag line. But I also said that I ‘sensed’ a man with kindness and decency with much to admire. Of course I more than sensed it. I knew it about you. And Hal, you have power. What you do matters. What you say matters. You have affected me in countless ways over the two years or so that I’ve known you. And you have helped so much here. I’m not the only player in this mission.

  “Look, even a superhero can only do so much. It’s worth nothing if people don’t also do for themselves. The worst thing I could do, the worst thing anyone could do, is to ignore someone else’s power, their importance, their value. People have tremendous power. When we come together and recognize our common interests, well then that’s when we are unstoppable. You were part of this too. We did this as a team, and that’s why this worked. Never mind superpowers. You are my equal. Don’t forget that.”

  “Wow,” said Hal, “When you said that to me back at The Big Box, I just assumed it was something you said to everyone you rescued.”

  “No,” said Bonnie lovingly, “You’re forgetting that I really knew you. If anything I was dying for a chance to say that to you.”

  “Amazing to think that was for real. That means a lot to me.”

  “And another thing that is no disguise. I really, really care about you, Hal. I meant it when I said I love you.”

  “And I really love you.”

  Bonnie smiled. “She’s gone. No more Misery. It’s just you and me at last.”

  “About time.”

  “If you don’t mind a freak flag or two, I’d like to continue where we left off a while back.”

  “Pardon?”

  “Look at me,”

  “Yes?”

  “Infinite Power!”

  Bonnie changed into Ms. Infinity as Hal looked on in awe.

  “Oh!” said Hal.

  “Hal,” she said, “I love you. Come over here already before I mess things up again.”

  The two lovers kissed, and held it for longer than they ever had before. Ms. Infinity’s mission was now over, and she could at last enjoy the love of a man she admired. And in her arms, in her power, Hal felt safer than perhaps he ever had. At the moment, it seemed that her love was all he needed. It also seemed to him that she could read his mind, and indeed if she could, that would be fine with him.

  And so it was…

  24. A Creep Exposed

  Nadine soon caught up with Lisa and Maria on their way to Yvonne’s office. She spoke to them nervously. “Listen, do you really think you can get Yvonne to listen?”

  “Well Nadine,” said Lisa, “It’s worth a try, right?”

  “I’m just worried. What if she doesn’t do anything, and then Denny hears…?”

  “Well,” said Maria, “We are taking a risk. But at this point, I don’t know how much worse it can get.”

  “I’m pretty sure it’s worse not to say anything,” said Lisa.

  “You know what?” said Nadine, “I’m going with you.”

  As the women approached Yvonne’s office, Lisa began to discuss her plan.

  “So listen ladies. I’m pretty sure I know what I want to say. Denny has been messing with the security cameras, and that’s bad enough. He’s also stealing from the place. That should wake her up. I can hold off on my personal grievances until the end.”

  “I knew it,” said Nadine, “This is all about her.”

  “Hold on a minute,” said Lisa, “What did I do?”

  Maria gently held her wrist. “Listen Lisa, honey. You have to remember we have different reasons why we’re here. We’re not doing this because you’re in trouble, remember?”

  Lisa looked at Maria for a moment. Then her eyes went wide. “Oh right! I’m sorry. You know what? Does either of you want to talk?”

  “Honestly,” said Nadine, “I think I’m the last one who can talk. I’m in enough trouble with her. But then again, I have things to say. There’s Denny, but I have other things. I don’t appreciate being searched just for coming to work.”

  “I got this,” said Maria.

  None of the women noticed Teddy standing in the doorway of the break room, listening intently to their conversation.

  Lisa knocked nervously on Yvonne’s door. Within seconds, it jerked open. “Alright Lisa!” shouted Yvonne angrily as she opened the door, but then as soon as she saw Maria together with Lisa and Nadine, she fell silent.

  “We want to file a complaint,” said Maria. “The rights of the workers have been violated by the front end supervisor, Denny. I can name numerous cases of sexual harassment against myself and several other women. I am willing to sign any affidavits as necessary.”

  “Sexual harassment?” said Yvonne under her breath, “That would explain a lot.”

  “Please, Ms. Montez,” said Maria, “I believe it is in everyone’s best interests if you investigate this matter immediately.”

  “Very well,” said Yvonne, “You should certainly file a complaint, but that is a matter handled by human resources. Now I have something to take up with Ms. Lin here…”

  “And this has everything to do with that,” interrupted Maria, “Do you think she was playing around out there? Denny has made life here miserable for many of us.”

  “I can vouch for that,” said Nadine, “I have other things too…”

  “Now look, Ms. Lopez,” interrupted Yvonne, looking squarely at Maria, “I don’t want you to think that I don’t take you seriously. This is an important matter, and I will have to look into it. It’s just that we have a protocol. Let me warn you now, If you were thinking of using this as an impetus for organizing, I’d have to strongly advise against it. The company will not take kindly to it.”

  Maria shook her head in disbelief. “That really is all that’s on your mind, isn’t it?”

  “Besides,” added Lisa, “He’s done more than that. Do you want to watch this video? It’s all here! He used my ID to cheat the register. He had the cameras turned off for that. When I called him on it, he tried to extort me to keep me quiet. He promised me discounts on high priced items. I think it started when he was trying to hush up his victims. That would interest you, wouldn’t it?”

  “Now are you sure about this?” said Yvonne.

  “Very. I’d gladly sign a statement about that too. You might want to check the security cameras. I’m sure there are some missing pieces at some particular spots. I can even name them.”

  “That’s just one of our issues,” said Maria, “I assure you not the only…” but as she spoke, Yvonne started to look at the day’s security video. After a moment of searching, she jerked back from shock.

  “There are two large sections missing from the last two hours alone!”

  “I knew about that,” said Lisa, “I also knew that the camera was off the day Hal got held up.”

  Yvonne was shocked. “How did you know all this?”

  “I overheard a conversation between Denny and security.”

  “They told me the camera was broken! Who in security was this?”

  “I think his name was Mitch.”

  There was then a knock on the door. “Can you get that?” said Yvonne.

  Nadine opened the door. Teddy was behind it. “Hi,” he said awkwardly, “So I saw you’re here about Denny. I was wondering…”

  “Hi Teddy,” said Lisa, “Listen Yvonne, I hope Teddy’s not in trouble too. This was my idea.”


  “Let him speak his piece,” said Yvonne, “Please come in. So, what is it that you have to say?”

  “You remember that he used to be in electronics?”

  “I do. That’s where I promoted him from.”

  “Well when he was training me, he told me I had to use his ID for every sale.”

  “He did?”

  Lisa looked at him curiously. “I didn’t even know you had those. You’re not cashiers.”

  Yvonne explained, “In electronics they do, in this store anyway. They have their own registers. For big-ticket items, they get commissions. Customers order things like TV’s or computers, then the salesperson takes the order, and has it either taken to the customer’s car, or shipped to their home. These items don’t go to the registers. Anyway Teddy, you were saying Denny made you use his ID?”

  “Yeah, so I later found out that was wrong.”

  “It certainly is!” said Yvonne. She turned to her computer and frantically began scanning though her old files.

  “Interesting. He was promoted partly because of his excellent sales figures. I will have to research this more. But from what I can see here, they spiked significantly several times, all when he had a trainee. It would seem that we have many cases of fraud.”

  “So I was also supposed to get commissions for those?” asked Teddy.

  “Yes, you were,” answered Yvonne, “So were many other trainees.”

  “Yeah. I remember he used to take on a lot of trainees.”

  “Alright then,” said Yvonne, “I will have to research this further. In the meantime, I’m calling Denny in immediately. You can go. Rest assured, I will take this seriously.”

  Yvonne dismissed the group from her office. As the companions returned to their station, they discussed the meeting.

  “Do you think she listened?” asked Lisa