Conviction: Devine

by Sidebottom, D H

  I wanted to slap her when she smiled and winked. She swallowed back her amusement when she saw my reaction to her humour. “Freddy Brackendale is a hard man, Isla. I admit he’s one of the most ruthless men I have ever met. The fact that he slaughtered all those people in that bank heist is the reason he’s now facing six life sentences.” She wasn’t helping my anguish. Not one bit. “However . . .” She smirked wryly. “You’ve never met my father, have you? He’s currently residing at Her Majesty’s pleasure too.”

  My own eyes widened this time.

  “And amazingly . . .” She winked. “He’s just been transferred onto Jake’s wing, and my daddy doesn’t like his daughter to be upset. What hurts her, hurts him. And that makes him angry. It makes him very, very angry.”

  I nodded slowly.

  “So when I say it’s been taken care of, then you need to understand,” she said quietly. “It’s taken care of.”

  The way her eyes glistened with a demonic glee made me shiver. I knew Carrie was a force to be reckoned with but the way she grew excited with the thought of violence made me aware that, somewhat reassuringly, I wasn’t as unique as I thought.

  EVERY EYE TURNED TO me when I stepped through the door and into the gym. My senses shot to life when a few men picked up their towels and hurried away, their eyes swiftly diverting away from mine as each one shot a look towards Freddy then to me.

  “Jake!” Freddy said with a smile, standing from where he’d sat on a press bench, his arm outstretched to welcome me. “Thank you for coming.”

  I nodded, taking furtive glances around the area when I realised only Freddy’s heavies were left behind. “It’s not a problem.” I grinned at him, not allowing him to see my cautiousness. Something was going down. It wasn’t hard to figure it out. It was the fact that just Freddy and his muscle remained behind that had my muscles clenching, ready.

  “How are you settling in?” Freddy asked as I took a seat beside him. “Everyone treating you okay?”

  “Yep.” Frank, Freddy’s main man, stepped closer, Liam close by him making me even more alert. “Something wrong, Fred?”

  He pursed his lips. “Well, see . . .” He sighed. The hairs on my arms shot rigid as my fists clenched instinctively. He smiled at me but rolled his eyes. “Gen’s not happy. You know how she is.” He chuckled. “Bloody girl. She wants something then us men have to run around after her.”

  I gawped at him, my anger rising. “I’m sorry. What position is she in to make more demands?”

  He stiffened and I noticed the gym door flick slightly. I was aware that the men around me hadn’t seen it so I remained quiet but guarded.

  “Now, now, Jake. That’s my daughter you’re talking about.”

  I sighed dramatically, making the twat aware of my approaching temper. “And that’s your daughter I’m willing to do time for, Freddy. I don’t think she’s in a position to be ‘unhappy’ for fuck’s sake!”

  Freddy’s eyes narrowed on me as his five minders cracked their necks and stepped forward. I knew trouble was coming, I just wasn’t sure why. I’d taken the blame for Seb and Marianne’s murders for a fucking bitch I couldn’t stand, but knew I owed it to her since Tilly. Apparently that wasn’t enough.

  “What exactly does Gen want?” I asked through clenched teeth, my body hardening itself for a fight.

  “Well, see, Jake . . .” Freddy chuckled. “It’s more a case of what we both want.”

  Every organ in my body locked down. My eyes closed as I started to laugh—at myself. What a fool. What—a—fucking—idiot I was. Now it all made sense.

  “You want London.” His smile confirmed my guess. I sighed sadly and tutted. “Now, you know I can’t do that, Freddy.”

  I was so damn angry with myself for falling for Gen’s obvious plan. I’d lost Isla for her. I’d lost my life for her. When she’d told me she’d killed Marianne and Seb—for me, apparently—I knew then that Tilly’s death had fucked her up more than I thought. She’d known how angry I was at myself for loving Isla all those years ago. I’d even lost my father’s love for her. I’d been sent down for her. And Gen had been so angry at the time, watching me pay for protecting someone I couldn’t have. It had brought us together but in the end had torn us apart. And yet, Gen had done the exact same thing to me as Isla had. Used my conviction to her as a weapon.

  She’d begged me to stop loving Isla and love her. I knew she would never survive prison and that she’d gone through so much since we’d lost our daughter. Yet now the truth rushed at me and I had to commend her for her shrewdness. The devious bitch had played up to every damn weakness I had, Isla and Tilly’s death being the uppermost.

  Freddy shook his head slowly and stood up. “I’m not sure you have much of a choice, Jake.” He peered around, holding a hand out to each of his men. “I know you’re infamous for your fighting skills, but even five against one might be a bit of a struggle for you.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t exactly say five against one.” A man’s amused voice echoed around the near empty gym.

  We all turned. David Duke stood grinning with a manic glint in his eyes, three huge men already pulling off their shirts behind him. I thought Keegan was toned, but fuck me, the three of them made the Hulk look puny.

  “What the fuck?” Freddy growled. “What are you doing here, Duke?”

  David beamed. For some reason he reminded me of the Joker, the corners of his lips touching his ears, the malicious flash in his eyes making my hair stand on end. “Aww, come now,” he mocked. “I came all this way to say hello. Your lack of appreciation wounds me, Freddy.”

  When David tutted and shook his head, slipping his suit jacket off and handing it to the mute guy who was notorious to everyone in the criminal world, Freddy gulped hard, his face paling.

  “Now.” David rolled his head around his shoulders as he slowly walked over to me and slung his arm around my shoulder. “I happen to like how Jake runs London.” He turned to me and beamed before turning back to Freddy. “He’s fair, and so far, the man here hasn’t caused me any trouble.” David patted my shoulder. “I owe you for taking care of my little girl.”

  I shrugged. “My best friend loves your daughter so that makes her one of mine.”

  David spread his hands before him and nodded humbly. “Well I still owe you one for finding my son who I thought was dead.” I watched as his eyes filled with tears, his expressive emotions one of the things he was known for. He turned and smiled at a small woman when she stepped out of nowhere with a McDonalds Coke and a large bucket of popcorn. Two chairs were placed behind us and David directed me into one of them. Handing me the Coke, he sighed happily. “Time for the movie to start.”

  His men stepped forward as David settled into his chair.

  “Oh.” I chuckled as I grabbed a handful of popcorn. “What are we watching?”

  He turned to me and winked. “The fatal killing of Freddy.”

  “Sounds good.” I nodded reverently and took a swig of my drink as the entertainment started.

  MY FINGERS MOVED QUICKLY, the music lifting my soul and soothing my anguish. My heart beat in tune with each note, my blood rushing faster and giving me the calming high that always came as soon as I started to play. The afternoon sun was bright and warm through the window but I wasn’t there to catch the rays. I needed the serenity only the piano could give.

  It had been five days since I’d learned of Seth and Gen’s betrayal. I hurt more for Jake and Keegan than I did for myself. Yes, they had killed my family, but they were family to Jake and Keegan, flesh and blood that had gone beyond the bounds of disloyalty.

  All three of them, Lovejoy, Gen and Seth had disappeared, much to Carrie’s annoyance; she wanted to ‘play’ apparently.

  I closed my eyes and let the rhythm flow, my soul weeping with the melancholy of the piece I chose to play, my spirit aching as hard as my heart. I hoped Jake was okay, that Carrie’s father had got to him before Gen’s had but no one told me anything. My imaginatio
n played tricks on me, telling me they weren’t being open because he was dead, that Freddy had hurt him beyond what I could ever imagine.

  The noise outside was becoming annoying, the late summer warmth bringing plenty of people to Deviant to enjoy the August bank holiday. Breaking off from playing, I stood and leaned into the window, grabbing the frame to pull it down.

  His scent hit me first, the subtle hint of citrus and leather making my heart beat hard and fast. My skin erupted in goosebumps when I heard his voice for the first time.

  “Fuck, that arse just gets tighter.”

  I couldn’t move, my body going into shock. I started to pant, my eyes filling with tears and making my vision blurry as my fingers cracked the wood on the window frame with my fierce hold.

  “Turn around and look at me, sweetheart.”

  I was sure I was dreaming, hallucinations now a new part of my pregnancy.

  “I need to see your face. Please, Isla. I need you.”

  The way his voice broke finally made me turn. As if he was an apparition, Jake stood silently in the doorway, his sad eyes regarding me closely as if unsure of my reaction.

  “Hey, honey. I’m home.”

  My knees buckled. The beat of my heart paused and a choked sob erupted from me.

  Quickly, he was on me, grabbing me, his hands framing my face as his mouth covered mine in a kiss so heated and greedy I felt faint. His grip on me was painful but so, so good; the taste of his lips amazing as he took what he needed and fed my withdrawal with a ferocity that made my legs weak.

  “I’m sorry,” he uttered in between kisses. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “Sshhh,” I whispered back as I held his face and pulled back to look at him through my tears. “You’re okay?”

  He nodded.

  “Really okay?”

  He smiled then slipped to his knees before me. His eyes remained on mine as he fisted the material of my dress and bunched it up, sliding it higher and higher. He leaned forward and just as I thought he was going to bury his face between my legs, softly he kissed my stomach. “You and this miracle are my life, Isla. Whatever life throws at me, you need to know that I will fight back with an unreal force so I can always come home to you both.”

  I nodded, unable to speak.

  “I will never hurt you again. I promise. You’re my reason for breathing. I won’t survive this without you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about Tilly?” I hated that I had asked but it was something I couldn’t push aside.

  He flinched, shocked that I knew, but then his face broke and a pain so unimaginable reflected in his eyes. He lowered his gaze to my stomach and placed his hand over the slight swell. I dropped to my knees when the most horrific sound burst from him, his devastation as potent as my need to take his pain and make it all better.

  “I’m so fucking scared,” he rasped with a choked cry.

  “Hey,” I whispered, pulling him in tight and holding onto him hard. “I promise, Jake. I promise it will be okay. We’ve been through too much. We deserve this child.”

  He looked at me, his tears wrenching my heart. “Tilly will keep him safe, Isla. I know she will.”

  I nodded, desperately trying to hold on to my sanity as my man broke before me. But he didn’t just break, he shattered, completely fractured as he finally let go and grieved for someone who had been too precious for this fucked up world.

  Leah burst into the room then took one look at us, Jake curled up on my knee as I held and rocked him, and turned around, her sadness visible with a soft smile.

  He held on to me for hours, both of us clinging to each other, taking and giving and letting the pain of the past go.

  “How old was she?” I asked quietly, aware he was hanging on by a thread but knowing he needed to talk.

  “Two.”

  I swallowed back the bile. “Cancer?”

  He nodded. “Leukaemia.”

  “I take it Gen was Tilly’s mum.”

  He scoffed. “On paper, yes.”

  “What?”

  He pulled away from me and settled back against the side of the bed, drawing his legs up so he could hug his knees. It was a protective stance so I left him and shuffled to sit beside him.

  He sighed and shook his head sadly. “Tilly was an accident. I’d just come out of prison and was making a name for myself in the circle. Gen loved it, the notoriety, the status and of course the money.” He shrugged. “She found out she was pregnant and it broke her. She wanted a termination but I begged her, promised her that I would care for the baby and that she wouldn’t have to do anything.”

  I stared at him. It was usually the other way round so to hear Jake’s story was somewhat unconceivable.

  He looked at me shyly, his cheeks a little flushed. “I wanted that baby so much, Isla. I wanted to prove that parenting can be done right.” He swallowed and lowered his eyes. “I just wanted someone to love me.”

  Oh—Dear—God.

  He sniffed. “And she did. She was the happiest, most perfect little thing.” His smile warmed my heart. “Her face when I entered the room was all I needed to get through the day. It was so hard caring for her then in the next hour ripping out someone’s heart.”

  I shivered; that image was not a great one.

  “Then she got ill,” he whispered, his voice full of anger and heartache. He slid his hand across the floor, virtually clawing for me. Comforting him, I took his hand and held it in both of mine. “She was smiling when she died.”

  He turned to look at me when the sob that left me was loud and wretched. “I’m so sorry.” I hated that I had said that but my brain wouldn’t allow anything else to come out.

  Shaking his head, he smiled. “But that’s good. She was smiling. She was happy.”

  I nodded, unable to confirm his reasoning.

  He leaned to one side and pulled something from his pocket then from his wallet. I held on to the anger tearing through me as I took the small crumpled photograph from him. The edges were dog-eared and torn, the paper wrinkled and worn but the little girl who smiled back at me broke my God damned heart.

  It was Jake with a mass of brown curls. “She’s so beautiful.”

  He nodded, smiling at the photo in my hands. “And our little boy will be the most handsome little thing.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Boy?”

  He nodded and winked. “Boy. Henry Jakob Devine.”

  I peered at him, dumbstruck, before I nodded. “Henry Jakob Devine is perfect.”

  “Good.” He grinned. “I’m glad you like it.”

  “And if I didn’t?”

  He shrugged before turning his whole body my way. His finger traced the edge of my jaw, his eyes following its route. “I’m willing to add Jeffery in there.”

  I paused, my heart beating too quickly. “Really?”

  “Uh-huh,” he whispered as his nose nuzzled my neck and his lips softly kissed my sensitive skin. “Henry Jakob Jeffery Devine.”

  I giggled when he nipped the skin on my collarbone. “The poor bugger will take an age to fill in forms.”

  Shaking his head, his eyes looked up. “Nah.” He scrunched up his nose. “Henry JJ Devine for short.”

  I didn’t think my heart could swell anymore but it did, right there on the floor beside a man that beyond all doubt had the ability to make me sob then smile, then love with an almighty force.

  “Henry JJ Devine it is.”

  He nodded firmly, grabbed the hem of my dress and tore it over my head. “Enough talking,” he murmured. “I need to hear you moan.”

  “Well, I’m hungry and thirsty. And that bloody man in the grocers was trying to get a cop of my tits again. Chuffing Hilary in the bar spilt juice all over my new bag. Oh and . . .”

  I laughed when Jake growled and tackled me to the floor. “We’re not married yet; I don’t mean that kind of moaning.”

  “Yet?” I scoffed, giving him a playful slap.

  Freezing, he moved aw
ay and looked at me. “Don’t say it as a question, Isla. I mean it. We’re not married. . . .” He leaned forwards and hovered his mouth over mine. “ . . . yet!”

  ISLA STARED AT ME, her mouth as wide as her eyes. “Are you serious?”

  “Very.”

  “You want to marry me?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “Me? You want to marry me?”

  I gawped at her, amazed at her lack of self-worth. “Yes. I—want—to—marry—you!”

  She seemed suspended in time as her chest stopped moving, her eyes fixed on mine and her body completely frozen. “Yes,” she whispered.

  Unsure I’d heard her correctly, I moved closer to her, our noses touching. “Say that again.”

  It took her a few seconds to compose herself as tears filled her eyes but then a smile broke on her face and she nodded. “Yes, Jake. I will marry you.”

  It was my turn to struggle with confidence issues. I had been sure after everything that she would turn me down, that she would laugh in my face and tell me to fuck off. But she didn’t. She said yes. She—said—fucking—yes!

  “Tomorrow?”

  She laughed, her eyes lighting with happiness. “Even you can’t manage that. But yes, as soon as possible.”

  The frantic beat of my heart pushed all my blood south, my dick roaring to life as her beautiful face stared up at me. Her long hair was splayed across the floor, the silky strands framing her perfectly. Her lips were slightly parted to accommodate her heavy breaths and her nipples hardened and pressed into my chest.

  “You’re aroused,” I whispered with a smirk.

  She quirked a brow and lifted her leg, slipping her thigh between mine. “So are you, darling.”

  I nodded. “I’m always hard with you.”

  “Uh-huh,” she breathed as she dragged the tip of her tongue up the centre of my throat. Shit, I nearly came in my pants.

  “Isla, sweetheart,” I warned. “Don’t do that again if you want to come before me.”

  She chuckled. “Jake, darling. I don’t care in what order we come, so long as I come.”