And to show you mean business, make some bold changes. Be willing to change unhealthy relationships, rearrange your routines, and throw out stumbling blocks. Set up better boundaries. Stronger accountability. Stay in close fellowship with God, who loves you and wants to fill you and lead you.
Any individual has the capacity to commit any sin if he gets out of fellowship with God long enough. Just look at King David. A man after God’s own heart. Filled with God’s power. Writer of psalms. Walking in wisdom. Intimate in worship. Yet over time, he slowly became prideful, let his guard down, and then committed great wickedness.
So we should daily rely on God’s grace. Confessing our sins is not a one-time affair. It is a lifelong daily habit. When we blow it, we should quickly confess and turn away from it. We need to keep tender consciences before God. Not just today but for a lifetime.
A lifetime of integrity.
“I Will Walk with Integrity”
Integrity means “wholeness” or “completeness”—the opposite of hypocrisy. The Bible uses the terms “upright” or “blameless” to describe a man of integrity. He continually thinks, speaks, and walks honestly before God and others. Jesus rebuked religious hypocrites for their lack of integrity because they honored God with their lips but their hearts were far away from Him (Matthew 15:8).
If you are a man of integrity, then you will speak the truth all the time, whether generally in broad terms or specifically when reporting facts. Whether much is at stake or nothing is at stake, you will be the same in public as you are in private. When you’re alone, working late, on the Internet, or filling out your tax return, you will consistently choose to do the right thing. You’re not perfect, but you are committed to walking in truth.
There is a cry for integrity in our land. We desperately need men who will keep their word in leading our churches, our businesses, and our government. The Bible says that pastors and deacons must be “blameless” (1 Timothy 3:2, 10 NKJV). Leaders stand on their integrity. Proverbs 16:12 says, “It is an abomination for kings to commit wicked acts, for a throne is established on righteousness.”
Integrity reflects God. There is no deceit in Him. No corruption. No darkness. John 3:33 says, “God is true,” meaning He is exactly who He says He is. He’s not hiding an evil dark side or misleading you in any way. There is no injustice or deceit in what He does. His words are true, His ways are true, and His judgments are true. And because He is looking for followers who will worship Him “in spirit and truth” (John 4:24), your job as a man of resolution is to embrace a life of truth and integrity before Him.
And when you do, He promises these incredible rewards:
Blessings in your heart—the light of a clear conscience in your eyes. The confidence of knowing you don’t have to be afraid of bad news or being found out (Psalm 37:37; 112:7).
Blessings in your home—“The righteous man walks in his integrity: his children are blessed after him” (Proverbs 20:7 NKJV) and will be “mighty on earth” (Psalm 112:2).
Blessings in your city—the influence of your dependability and honesty on the entire community around you (Proverbs 11:11).
Through your integrity, God promises you strength (Proverbs 10:29), guidance (Proverbs 11:3), defense from attack (Psalm 7:10), and deliverance from trouble (Proverbs 11:6). The man of integrity is a “delight” to the Lord (Proverbs 11:20; 15:8), and he will “never be shaken” (Psalm 15:5). As a result of his clear conscience, he is open to the testing and judgment of God. Instead of resisting the eyes of the Lord, he invites them.
Guilty men, on the other hand, feel threatened by the scrutiny of God’s Word. They get angry at those who hold them accountable. But an honorable man has no fear of things like marital scandal, misappropriation of funds, or little white lies—because none of those are present in his life to take him down. He knows trust is built and gained over a lifetime, but it can be squandered and lost in a moment.
Even when a man of integrity sins, he doesn’t deny it, cover up, or hide it. His mode of operation is to confess it, learn from it, and move on, seeking to avoid it in the future.
How would you like that man to be you?
Then don’t expect to find moral character fortified in your breakfast cereal or arriving in the afternoon mail. Integrity must be intentionally pursued and courageously guarded, built throughout a lifetime and gained by hard work and sacrifice.
David said, “I kept myself from my iniquity” (Psalm 18:23) and “walked in my integrity” (Psalm 26:1). Day after day. Night after night. To protect his integrity, a man learns to “guide his affairs with discretion” (Psalm 112:5 NKJV). He walks circumspectly according to a moral code of ethics he has established to guide himself. What others claim as tolerable, he knows is too risky.
So if you see a man of impeccable integrity in his old age, you can be sure he made his character a priority over the years. He was careful with whom he spent his time and the men he partnered with in business. He guarded his behavior around other women and didn’t allow himself to be put in compromising situations. He refused to cheat on his finances and over the years likely made some people mad who encouraged him to cut corners and compromise.
But you can’t help but respect him now. No pretense or façade. What he says is what he means. Both his name and his word are gold. He has sought to be a “doer of the Word” and not a “hearer” only (James 1:22). The Word of God thrives in him because of his “honest and good heart” (Luke 8:15). He has walked with God and let Him open up his life for full inspection, gutting out the dishonesty and replacing it with sincerity.
That word sincere, by the way, means “without wax.” Ancient sculptors and pottery makers would hide imperfections in their work by pouring wax into the cracks of their fractured merchandise, then painting over the blemishes. After it was sold and used around heat, the wax would melt out, proving the piece to be faulty. But those craftsmen who made reputable products with no fractures would stamp SINCERE on the bottom to show that their work was “without wax” and was the real thing. It was solid. True. It had integrity.
We, too, can only hide our sin and deception for so long. The heat of God’s Word and the temptations and trials of life will reveal over time whether we are truly sincere before God or not. Psalm 15 points out the areas where we can test our lives against a man of integrity.
Our relationships. “He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend” (Psalm 15:3). Instead of backstabbing, gossiping, or lying about others, integrity makes us want to build people up and treat them with respect.
Our values. “In whose eyes a reprobate is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord” (Psalm 15:4). Integrity puts character above wealth, popularity, or position. It causes us to despise deception in our own lives as well as in others, and to honor those who are walking with God.
Our commitments. “He swears to his own hurt and does not change” (Psalm 15:4b). This means we make wise, careful promises—and then keep them even when they’re hard to see through to completion. We pay our debts and keep our marriage vows. “Better not to vow than to vow and not pay. Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin” (Ecclesiastes 5:5–6 NKJV).
Our price tag. “He who does not put out his money at interest, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent” (Psalm 15:5). A man of integrity can’t be bought. He won’t allow money to corrupt him. He doesn’t underpay his employees or lie on his taxes. He doesn’t rob God in his giving. Money doesn’t have a hold on him.
He holds on to his integrity instead.
When God looked at Job’s life, He could honestly say, “There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil” (Job 1:8). Even when Job lost everything, even when his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job. 2:9), he continued to honor God in the midst of intense suffering, depression, and pain. He heroically said, “As l
ong as my breath is in me, and the breath of God is in my nostrils, my lips certainly will not speak unjustly, nor will my tongue utter deceit. . . . Till I die I will not put away my integrity from me” (Job 27:3–5).
What would happen if we as men began to resolve like Job to walk in total integrity? What would happen if believers in Jesus Christ became known for their honesty rather than being noted for hypocrisy? What needs to happen in your life for this to take place in you? What changes and commitments do you need to make?
There is too much at stake for us not to take integrity seriously. It is for this reason that we end this chapter challenging you to “be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16). Resolve to learn from your mistakes, repent of your sins, and walk in integrity before God.
COURAGEOUS CHALLENGE
Write out a list of the top five sins that keep entangling you in your life, and begin praying for God to give you the grace to fully repent of each one.
MEMORY VERSE
Repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. (Acts 3:19)
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10
CHAPTER 14
RESOLVE TO BE FOUND FAITHFUL
I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.
Men love glory. We love that feeling we get from accomplishment, success, and applause. We love coming in first, being labeled the best at something. But the problem is that we want the glory for ourselves.
The paradox is, grabbing for glory and truly deserving it don’t really go together. The surest way to garner genuine praise is by working humbly and unselfishly, by acting faithfully and responsibly. The smell of pride on someone disgusts us. We hate the thought of their soaking in the spotlight. It’s vain. Jesus said, in fact, that we forfeit whatever reward we might have received if we do something solely for others to notice us.
Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. (Matthew 6:1–2 NLT)
Every time you brag, show off, or fish for praise, you actually dishonor yourself. King Solomon said, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2 NKJV).
But by stepping back and looking at it from a biblical perspective, we realize that honoring ourselves is at best hollow, and at worst selfish and prideful. This is what Scripture refers to as the “pride of life” (1 John 2:16)—trying to do things and possess things so that we can brag in front of others.
Men who take this approach forget that everything good about their lives is really an undeserved gift from God. The apostle Paul wrote, “What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7). Any accomplishment of yours only happened because you put into practice the strength, opportunities, and abilities God has granted you. If you have made a lot of money, it’s only because God has given you the “power to make wealth” (Deuteronomy 8:18). If you are gifted, it was a gift.
So God says:
“Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his riches; but let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight,” says the Lord. (Jeremiah 9:23–24 NKJV)
Our lives were actually designed, created, and intended to honor God, not ourselves. Men who live for their own honor are choosing a very, very small thing to live for—themselves. They foolishly praise the painting, not the Painter. The Bible says that God despises pride but gives grace to the humble. He intentionally works in a way “so that no man may boast before God” (1 Corinthians 1:29).
Creation was His doing. The cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ were His doing. Salvation was His doing. And you were His doing. So it doesn’t matter how good a man is at something, or how much he gathers for himself, or how strong he is, or how knowledgeable. In comparison to God, he is nothing. “For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Galatians 6:3).
The Sovereign Maker of everything towers over the microscopic finiteness of “me.” This is why we should redirect our focus, our passions, and our energies on what matters most in life, most in death, and most in eternity—God. “Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created” (Revelation 4:11).
So don’t settle for trophies that will only collect dust and be soon forgotten. Don’t settle for the approval of men when you could gain the approval of God. You have one life to live. And living it for yourself is futile. True fulfillment comes only by gratefully giving God the glory He deserves, knowing that He is the Source of all good things.
Soaking in praise sours us. It rots us over time. Just look at people who soak in their praise as if they deserve it. It only makes them unfulfilled, empty, and more calloused. But anytime we reflect praise back to God and thank Him for anything good we have done, it feels really good . . . and very right. We get to share in the joy of being used by Him, and also the blessing of offering thanksgiving and honor back up to Him. It keeps us humble, grateful, and in a place where we are more ready to be used again in the future.
Which is a true honor.
So ask yourself: “Is my life about me or about Him? Is it a picture of honor or dishonor toward God? Do my business practices, actions at church, and goals in life make Him shine or bring Him shame? Am I revealing that I have been redeemed and function as a new man in Christ? Or does everything reveal that I am playing a game and merely deceiving myself with my own façade?
We should freely pray, “Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever” (Matthew 6:13 KJV). He owns it all and has accomplished it without us. Therefore, He gets the credit for everything we do because “from Him and through Him and to Him are all things” (Romans 11:36). End of story.
If you’re serious about “honoring God”—as the first part of this resolution point says—then lead your heart away from the vain and toward the eternal. Fall out of love with this world and deeply in love with the Lord. Whether you “eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). He’s worthy and worth it.
“I Will Be Faithful to His Church”
God never intended for you to live out the journey of your spiritual life alone. When you got connected to Christ, you also became spiritually connected to everyone else who is in Christ. “We, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another” (Romans 12:5). We are permanently joined together and deeply need each other. Whether you are married or single—if Jesus is your Lord, the church is your spiritual family.
And so you need to be “faithful to His church.”
You may be new to church. Or you may have been burned by so-called Christians in the past. If so, you’re in good company because Jesus’ main enemies were the religious, hypocritical “churchgoers” of His day. They were the ones who organized His betrayal and ultimate crucifixion.
All people have been and can be hypocrites in one or more areas of their lives. Inside and outside the church. But don’t let churchgoers who do the wrong thing keep you from doing the right thing. This should never be an excuse to give up on church or not get involved. In fact, it is more of a reason to plug into one—because we all need God’s help. We all need a spiritual support system of like-minded people on this journe
y together.
The truth is, none of us has it all together. Please don’t think because we are writing this book that we think we do. We are far from it and remain very challenged by God’s truth as we share it in these pages. That’s also why we are so passionate about the church. It is our spiritual support system. All of us need godly people around us so we can learn from one another’s mistakes and build one another up. The Scripture tells us to “encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called ‘Today,’ so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13)—to “bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).
Churches consist of people like us: sinners who have given their lives to Christ and are learning to walk in grace, love, and truth. That’s why the Bible says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24–25).
Jesus calls the church His bride. His beloved. His body. He is always working through the church to carry out His purposes throughout the world. He loves her, died for her, and is preparing her for heaven (Ephesians 5:25–27). So if you say you love Jesus but you avoid the church, you’re saying to Him, “I love you, but I can’t stand your bride.”
Wonderful people who love God and love others are among those found in church—people who will cheer for your hopes, encourage your dreams, celebrate your joys, and then stand by you in the emergency room or weep with you at a funeral. They’ll give you the shirt off their back, then offer their back to help bear your burdens. God wants all believers in Jesus Christ to stay closely connected with one another. This is where you’ll find men with whom to lock shields—men who will sharpen you, challenge you, and fight the battles of life with you.
The Resolution for Men Page 19