The Resolution for Men

  THE RESOLUTION

  I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

  I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

  I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

  I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

  I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

  I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

  I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

  I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

  I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

  I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

  I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

  I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

  As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

  Joshua 24:15

  CONGRATULATIONS ON COMPLETING THE RESOLUTION FOR MEN!

  Even as Joshua stood before his family and the people of God and declared his resolution that he was leading his family to serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15), we encourage you to seriously consider setting up a Resolution ceremony with other men so you can establish and declare together in front of your families your clearly defined commitments to take responsibility for them and be the spiritual leaders in your homes.

  Remember, the Resolution is not a promise of future perfection, but a declaration of your desire and commitment to pursue faithfulness by the grace of God. It can have a major impact on you, your marriage, and your children for you to take this courageous step.

  Consider inviting your pastor or a spiritual mentor to lead the ceremony and read aloud the Resolution points as you commit to them. After you sign your Resolution, display it somewhere in your home or office to encourage your family and remind you daily of your commitments.

  Then consider taking other men and even your growing sons through the Resolution book to help raise up a new generation of strong men who will break the chains in their families and leave a new legacy of faithful spiritual leadership for their children and grandchildren to follow!

  May God bless you as you do His will and live for His glory!

  APPENDIX 1

  HOW CAN I FIND PEACE WITH GOD?

  God created us to please and honor Him. But because of our pride and selfishness, every one of us has fallen short of our purpose and dishonored God at different times in our lives. We have all sinned against Him, failing to bring Him the honor and glory He deserves from each of us (Romans 3:23).

  If you claim to be a good person, be honest with yourself and ask if you have ever dishonored God by lying, cheating, lusting, stealing, rebelling against authorities, or hating others. Not only do these sins cause consequences in this life, but they disqualify us from being right before God and living with Him in heaven for eternity. Because God is holy, He must reject all that is sinful (Matthew 13:41–43). And because He is perfect, He cannot allow us to sin against Him and go unpunished, or He would not be a just judge (Romans 2:5–8). The Bible says that our sins separate us from God and that the “wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). This death is not only physical; the resulting spiritual death brings separation from God for eternity.

  What most people don’t realize is that our occasional good deeds do not take away our sins or somehow cleanse us in God’s eyes. If they could, then we could earn our way into heaven and negate the justice of God against sin.

  This is not only impossible, but it denies God the glory He deserves.

  The good news is that God is not only just, but He is also loving and merciful. He has provided a better way for us to have forgiveness and come to know Him.

  Out of His love and kindness for us, the Bible says He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die in our place and shed His blood to pay the price for our sins. This provided a pure sacrifice and a just payment to God for our sins and allowed Jesus to receive the judgment we are due. Jesus’ death satisfied the justice of God while also providing a perfect demonstration of the mercy and love of God. Three days after Jesus’ death, God raised Him to life as our living Redeemer to prove that He is the Son of God (Romans 1:4).

  God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

  For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

  Because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we have been given the opportunity of being forgiven and then finding peace with God. It may not seem right that salvation is a free gift. But the Scriptures teach that God wanted to show how rich His grace is in showing kindness toward us by freely offering us salvation (Ephesians 2:1–7). He is now commanding all people everywhere to repent and turn away from their sinful ways and humbly trust Jesus for their salvation. By surrendering your life to His lordship and control, you can have forgiveness and freely receive everlasting life.

  The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)

  If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

  Millions of people around the world have found peace with God through surrendering their lives to Jesus Christ. But each of us must choose for ourselves.

  Is there anything stopping you from surrendering your life to Jesus right now? If you understand your need for forgiveness and are ready to begin a relationship with God, we encourage you to pray now and trust your life to Jesus Christ. Be honest with God about your mistakes and your need for His forgiveness. Resolve to turn away from your sin and to place your trust in Him and in what He did on the cross. Then open your heart and invite Him into your life to fill you, change your heart, and take control. If you are not sure how to communicate this to Him, then use this prayer as a guide.

  Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against You and deserve the judgment of God. I believe that You died on the cross to pay for my sins. I choose now to turn away from my sins and ask for Your forgiveness. Jesus, I’m making You the Lord and Boss of my life. Change me and help me now to live the rest of my life for You. Thank You for giving me a home in heaven with You when I die. Amen.

  If you just prayed sincerely and gave your life to Jesus Christ, then we congratulate you and encourage you to tell others about your decision. If you really meant it, then you need to take some important first steps in your spiritual journey. First, it is essential that you find a Bible-teaching church and tell them that you want to obey Christ’s command to be baptized. It is a great mile marker to share your faith with others and launch your new spiritual walk. Also, plug into your new church and start attending on a regular basis and sharing life with other believers in Jesus Christ. They will encourage you, pray for you, and help you to grow. We all need fellowship and accountability.

  Also find a Bible you can understand and begin to read it for a few minutes every day. Start in the book of John and work your way through the New Testament. As you read, ask God to teach you how to love Him and walk with Him. Began to talk with God in prayer to thank Him for your new life, confess your sins when you fail, and to ask for what you need. Then as you walk with the Lord, He will give you opportunities to share your faith with others. The Bible says, “In your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Peter 3:15). There is no greater joy than to know God and to make Him k
nown! God bless you!

  APPENDIX 2

  SIX POWERFUL INFLUENCES YOU MUST GUARD IN YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES

  As the shepherd in your home, you must “be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds” (Proverbs 27:23 NKJV). That means being fully aware of what is going on with your children, while guiding and guarding the things that influence their hearts and minds. Here are six key influences to constantly keep your eye on. Any of these can steal your children’s hearts away from you, pollute their minds, and lead them away from God.

  1. Their friends. God’s Word says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). Pray for and surround your children with wise friends. Be willing to say “No” to any parties, sleepovers, and “fun” events that would put your children under the influence of foolish kids. Instead, initiate and lead fun events at your home and on your turf rather than sending your kids off into unknown situations.

  2. Their education. The worldviews of your child’s teachers in school will likely become the worldview of your child. If you want to raise godly children, you must guard carefully who is teaching them and what is being taught—both at school and at church. Homeschooling and Christian schools are worth the sacrifice and should be prayerfully considered.

  3. Their music. Develop in your children a love for the music of God and a disgust for the music of the world. Teach them to discern if the messages imbedded in music are helpful, loving, truthful, and edifying, or if they are angry, sexual, rebellious, self-centered, or corruptive. Fill their music libraries with godly music performed by godly artists. And lead the way by your example!

  4. Movies/TV. Today’s movies and television shows are now considered two of the top influences in culture. They have become increasingly more influential in how the next generation thinks and interprets reality. Do not let your children watch whatever they want. Build a library of good content, and take time to watch more edifying programs with your kids. Then discuss afterward what was right and wrong in what you’ve just seen.

  5. Internet. With Internet pornography, pedophiles in chat rooms, and an ocean of sites that are stumbling blocks for kids and adults, courageous dads need to become watchmen over what their sons and daughters see online. Train your kids to run from evil, but help them by loading filters onto your computers. At the same time, keep Internet access out of your kids’ rooms and out in the open.

  6. Video games. Video games are often very violent, perverted, and addictive. They are designed to draw your children into a fantasy world and keep them there for endless hours when they could be doing something productive and edifying. Guard what games they play, how long they play them, and be ready at any point to initiate “game fasts” for specific periods of time—even packing up the system altogether if it becomes a stumbling block to your kids.

  You can expect each one of these to be a potential battleground. So don’t be surprised if your kids momentarily become angry and don’t understand why you won’t let them be around certain people or be entertained by certain things. Your love is why! But remember that saying “No” creates a void you must fill with something better. Lead them toward good friends, good books, good music, movies, and activities. Teach them to ask, “Is this honoring to God?” “Is this true, holy, and healthy?” “Will this help me do the right things?” “Will this make me love God more or less?” “Will this fuel my passion for Christ, or will it pour cold water on it?” Romans 12:21 says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

  APPENDIX 3

  TEN POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES OF A MAN WHO COMMITS ADULTERY

  The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. (Proverbs 6:32–33)

  1. Grieving my Lord. My adultery would hurt and grieve the One who created me, loves me, died for me, redeemed me, fills me, uses me, sees me, prays for me, will judge me one day, and is preparing a place for me to spend an eternity with Him.

  2. Disgracing the gospel. I would be dragging Christ’s sacred reputation into the mud, becoming a stumbling block to younger Christians and non-Christians alike, causing those who disrespect and hate God to laugh, mock, and blaspheme, while giving them another excuse not to follow Christ (2 Samuel 12:14).

  3. Destroying my reputation. I would tarnish my self-respect, as well as the respect and trust of those I love and respect the most. My name would be connected to the shame of adultery with the other men I know who have failed morally and in their marriages.

  4. Breaking precious hearts. Innocent people would suffer from my decision, like my wife, my children, my parents, and my friends. I would also harm the conscience and relationships of the person with whom I have committed adultery.

  5. Losing priceless possessions. My marriage could end. I could potentially lose my children’s hearts, my friendships could be polluted, my job could be damaged, my heavenly rewards that could have been mine to claim and experience (James 1:12). It would damage years of spiritual preparation through the books I’ve read, the promises I’ve made, the training I’ve done, and others’ investments in me.

  6. Poisoning my conscience. I would be forced to live with guilt that is very hard to shake, with self-condemnation that angers and depresses me against myself, with regret in my mind wishing I could go back and undo it, and with embarrassment anytime it is exposed or brought up.

  7. Forcing God’s judgment. I would experience the harsh discipline He allows into my life now (Psalm 51, Hebrews 12:7–13), as well as the pain of looking Jesus in the face at the judgment seat to give an account of why I did it.

  8. Producing untold shame. I would bring shame to my wife who married me, to my children who follow me, to my parents who trained me, to my church who share their lives with me, to my friends who care about me, and to those I have won to Christ who have been discipled by me.

  9. Discrediting future effectiveness. I could disqualify myself to preach the gospel as a pastor, and I would discredit the future trust others have in me.

  10. Creating tangible consequences. I would be sinning against my body (1 Corinthians 6:18), potentially bringing painful sexually transmitted diseases into my life and marriage from this day forward, causing possible pregnancy with its personal and family implications, and financial consequences that result from all of the above.

  For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell. (Proverbs 5:3–5 NKJV)

  APPENDIX 4

  SEVEN STEPS TO BETTER SEX

  Your level of enjoyment during sex is more about what’s going on in your heart, mind, and spirit than in your body. Too often we don’t prepare ourselves emotionally, spiritually, and relationally for sex, then we wonder why the act itself is only marginally satisfying. Since the sexual relationship is founded upon your commitment, love, and intimacy, it is important to get all three of these things right before you are physically together

  When a husband and his wife surrender to God completely, love each other fully, and then give themselves to one another wholly, then their intimacy and lovemaking launches to a new level of enjoyment. But not only this, God is greatly glorified in the midst of it all. Here are seven steps to help you take your sex life to a much higher level. Go through these items one by one.

  1. Remove guilt. Both of you spend a few minutes in prayer to get completely right with God so that no guilt is corrupting or weighing down either one of you. Recommit yourselves to Him and to His lordship over your lives.

  2. Remove bitterness. Now get completely right with one another so that no bitterness exists between you. This means spending some time apologizing and also completely forgiving one another of anything wrong that has come between you. This is vital to bringing about the coming union you bot
h desire.

  3. Remove stress. Pray for one another and for all the things you’ve been worried or stressed about. Pray for the future of your marriage and for God to bless your spouse. Prayer brings emotional peace.

  4. Fill up with God’s love. As you’re praying, thank God for His love for you, and ask Him to make you a channel of His love to one another. Pray also for God to fill you with His Holy Spirit, that He will pour His love, joy, and peace into your hearts . . . and through you to one another.

  5. Overflow with thanksgiving. Spend some time now thanking your wife for anything she has recently done for you, then let her do the same for you. Appreciate and value the contributions you make to one another’s lives.

  6. Pour out affirmation. Next, verbally affirm your love and long-term commitment to one another. Encourage your wife with things you admire and respect about her, things that still attract you to her. Cherish her with your words, and receive her words of love and devotion for you.

  7. Have selfless sex. As you start to become physically intimate with one another, both of you make the commitment to focus completely on satisfying the needs and desires of your spouse rather than yourself. Let your love unite in a feast of selfless affection. As you do, worship the Lord with your oneness!