Untitled

by Wendy Bayne

  I walked up to Jibben and moved to slap him, but he caught my hand leering at me. Murphy, Dalton and Robert moved towards me, but my father put up his hand and they stopped. Jibben dropped my hand. “Your father has told me and my cousin,” he pointed to Dr Grimes, “about what happened. He has listened to your father and uncle talk about his affliction and he thinks his continued blindness might be of the mind and not physical.”

  I was outraged. “How dare you say that Miles is feigning his injury.”

  Dr Grimes shook his head at me. “Not feigning, Miss Turner. It could be that his brain truly believes that he is blind. He was severely traumatized while in prison with no reason to believe that he would ever leave there alive. What he went through has taken its toll and it may have been too much for him to endure so he became blind. It is much the same as a hysterical paralysis where the body cannot move even though there is nothing physically wrong. In short, Miss Turner, he is afraid to face the world again. I would like to try and help him if I can.”

  I wanted to stamp my foot and yell that he was truly blind but instead whirled on him, “Miles is the bravest and kindness soul I know. So why—why would he do that to himself; why?”

  Dr Jefferson had returned and interjected, “Lissa.” He paused searching for the right words. “Miles was tortured horribly, there are forms of torture that a man like a woman cannot abide. He is haunted by it and feels like he is less of a person because of it. He’s experiencing a devastating shame because he believes that he might have done something to deserve it. Miles still has nightmares, does he not?” I nodded. “Yet he has never shared the contents of those dreams with you, has he?”

  I shook my head. “No, but,” then I realised what he was hinting at. I whispered just loud enough that others heard. “He was raped?” The doctors both nodded.

  My mother came to me wrapping me in her arms. I was fused to the spot. “Who—who did this to him?” I was getting angry, I could feel the heat coming up from my gut. I wanted to lash out at that person, to kill them!

  Father took my hand and pulled me to sit down. I looked at the Earl and Marquis, they were both grim-faced. I looked back at my father. “The guard from the jail couldn’t describe the man in any detail other than that he was English with dark hair, so it was probably either Julian or Edward.”

  I pulled my hands from him. “And Miles knows this?”

  Father nodded his head, “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t he tell me, I have to go and speak with him.” I stood up pushing my way past those near the door and ran after Miles, not knowing where he had gone and not listening to the shouting behind me. I searched everywhere I could think of until it came to me that he wouldn’t go to any place where we had been together; not with those dark thoughts from his days of imprisonment as his sole companions. I stood at the foot of the garden and looking around at the torn flower beds, grass and shrubs. Then I stared out towards what was left of the folly that my uncle so detested. I saw a flicker of movement within the ruins and ran to it. He was there, sitting on the one remaining bench, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking in silent sobs. I walked over to him and sat down. When he didn’t turn to acknowledge me, I reached out and gathered him into my arms. We sat together with my arms around him while we both cried together for his pain, the pain that I had been too shallow to see. We sat there until the sun started to go down. I was without a cloak and was freezing but I would stay with Miles for as long as he stayed there. He finally wrapped his arms around me and we continued to just sit there, not speaking a word to each other. There was enough warmth within the circle of his arms to sustain me, so we leaned on each other.

  Finally, he kissed my hair and let go of me, standing up he offered me his hand and we returned to the chateau hand in hand. We went to our rooms to clean up and change our clothes. And when we returned to the foyer Allan was there to greet us. We followed him to the breakfast room even though we could hear voices coming from the main dining room. He smiled at both of us. “The others said for you to take your time and join them later if you wish.” Allan opened the door and we were greeted by warmth and the succulent smell of hot food on the table. We say across from each other then he looked at me for the first time since I had joined him in the folly. “I suppose you want an explanation.”

  “No, Miles, you don’t have to explain anything to me.”

  He shuddered then whispered, “So you know?” I could barely hear him, but I knew what he had asked me.

  “I know now, the doctor told me.” He just sat there with his head bowed looking at the plate in front of him. “Miles! I love you, I always have, that’s not changed, it never will! But you need to talk to someone about it. You need to let the anger out or it will consume you, my love.”

  He hesitated then with barely contained fury yelled, “My ANGER? You talk about anger! WELL WHAT ABOUT MY SHAME!”

  His yelling startled me, but it got my ire up as well. I was angry at Edward, Julian and at Miles. But I tried to be composed. I didn’t succeed as I heard my own voice raised, “DID YOU CONSENT to this violation! DID you ask for IT?!” then at just above a whisper I added, “Could you have fought back, or did you choose not to?”

  His face was a mask of incomprehension then he looked shocked, “NO! No, of course not. I fought but I wasn’t able to stop it…you can’t.”

  Reaching across the table to him I took his hand in mind, “Miles, I don’t expect you to get over this quickly, if ever. But you cannot let it define who you are. I’ll help you any way I can, I swear!”

  His shoulders slumped forward saying my name like he was a child, “Lissa.”

  I grabbed his hand hard willing him to look at me which he finally did and in a hushed voice full of my love for him, I said, “I love you, Miles, we are meant to be together. I know that in my heart. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t feel the same way?”

  His facial expression almost broke my heart. “Lissa, I am not the man I once was. I’m…I’m damaged.”

  Once again, he managed to enflame my ire, so I shouted at him, “This is beyond ridiculous! You are NOT damaged! You have been terrorized and violated, but you are still Miles Johnson!” I closed my eyes, I was so incensed I needed to concentrate and not let my temper get the better of me. But I lost that battle and through clenched teeth hissed, “I swear to God that I could kill Julian and Edward with my bare hands! I will not let them take you away from me!” Then I found my calm centre, it was Miles, he was looking at me with the most compassionate expression, so I squeezed his outstretched hand, “Just talk to Dr Grimes, Miles…he believes he can help you. Please, for our sake.” Miles came around the table and pulled me from my seat, holding me in his arms, anchoring us to each other then he bent his head and kissed me.

  When he finally released me, he said with a touch of humour and pain, “You have more spirit in you than I realised, poppet. I can see that a life with you will never be dull!” He pulled me back into a hug full of love. “Julian is dead, let’s leave him dead and as for Edward, he’s mine to deal with.”

  We both turned at a noise from the doorway where the Earl stood. “No, Miles, Edward is mine. If he did this to you…he is mine to deal with.” The Earl stood there at rigid attention and his look brooked no discussion.

  I opened my mouth, but the Earl put up his hand, “A death, Miss Turner, comes with a price and no one here will pay that price. Instead, I shall take away everything that means anything to him. Society will shun him when I’m done with him. I doubt that even Carolyn’s family will take him in once I’m finished. He can live in Wales with Carolyn’s cousin, they’re of the same ilk, they can ruin each other with the little money that I will leave Edward with.” His features melted when he looked back at Miles. “I hope though to live a sizable number of years and last long enough to see my children and your children grow into adults.” With that he walked back out the door and left me standing beside Miles.

 
; Miles stared at the doorway. “Does everyone know what happened?”

  I nodded and whispered, “Yes.”

  He held himself up straight fingering his caveat as if it was too tight. “Well, then, I won’t have to worry about baring my soul to the whole company, thank God. You’re right, my love, I will follow your suggestion and talk to Dr Grimes, I would very much like to get my sight back.” I burst into tears and flung my arms around his neck. He bent down and kissed the top of my head. “I think we should join the others now. I’m not very hungry, are you?” I shook my head no. Then he made a choking noise in his throat. “I think I had better face them all now before I lose my nerve, it will be easier than dealing with them one at a time.” I agreed, and we walked hand in hand into the drawing room.

  Jibben, Dr Grimes, Father and Uncle Samuel were at a table with a map, arguing over of all things shares and a smuggling ring. Jibben saw us come in and waved us over, “Johnson, can you please explain to Turner and Hughes that my people are not militia to be ordered about at his whim and that we do not recognize his authority!” Then he looked back at my father’s stern face. “If we are to help him with the smugglers then we must be allowed to take our SHARE!” He exploded on that last word and waved his arm around.

  Father was equally incensed. “I have never heard of such an outrageous proposition! You stole from the crown before, Jibben, and the crown was willing to let it go then, but not again!”

  Jibben continued in a growl. “So we must wait for the King to grant us compensation! Why should we when the compensation would already be in our hands! Bah, you English.” He turned to pick up a glass that I assumed contained brandy and drained it in one gulp. Then slamming the glass down on the table, he glared at my father looking like a blood-thirsty pirate.

  Father was looking almost as equally affronted, “May I remind you, sir, that you are English too.”

  Jibben slapped his chest. “I am Roma! Not English!” He looked as if he was going to spit and changed his mind at the last minute when he caught sight of Aunt Emilie.

  Miles ran his finger down his nose clearly trying not to laugh. “Jibben, if I’m not mistaken you were born in Wiltshire and your father is an English gentleman, that makes you English in the eyes of the crown.”

  Jibben fish mouthed for a few seconds. “Then the crown is blind! I am Roma first!”

  Miles managed to only just choke back a laugh. “Be that as it may we have had this discussion before about the law and how it applies to you. If you were to take anything not allotted to you that would be stealing and the law takes a very dim view of that.” He cleared his throat just managing to control his mirth as he continued. “However, I’m sure that you and Colin can come to an agreement for compensation that can be taken at the time.”

  Jibben pointed at Miles and called out, “HAH, you see, Turner, this man understands!”

  My father pursed his lips and Miles raised his hands to stop anyone from saying anything untoward, so he continued, “Jibben, that would be with the expectation that there would be no further compensation forthcoming in the form of reward or recognition later.”

  Jibben slapped him on the shoulder. “You see, Turner, that’s how you negotiate. You English never dicker, that is why you always make bad deals.” He spat in his hand and held it out to Miles. “My hand, Johnson, take it and we have a deal.”

  Miles snorted then nodded in the direction of my father. “I don’t have the authority to bargain, Jibben. That would come under the jurisdiction of Mr Turner.” Jibben eyed my father up and down then slowly held out his hand. Father looked from Jibben to Miles who made a spitting action into his hand. Father’s eyes became enormous then looked back at Jibben with scepticism. But to his credit he took a deep breath spit into his hand and held it out to Jibben and they shook, then Jibben laughed heartily, pulling him into a bear hug!

  Father grimaced glaring at Miles and when Jibben released him, Father whispered to Miles as he was wiping his hand off on his handkerchief, “How much did I just agree to?”

  Miles shrugged. “It depends on the goods and how valuable they are to Jibben’s people and what is the inherent risk of the plan you got him to commit to.”

  Jibben was standing with a huge grin on his face while Uncle Samuel laughed and offered Jibben another drink. My uncle took up his glass of lemonade and they toasted the partnership. Miles then adjourned to speak to Dr Grimes. The Earl and Marquis were sitting over a chess board engrossed in their game, Dr Jefferson had moved away from Dr Grimes to watch the chess game only to be called over to the map table as it was cleared, and a deck of cards appeared.

  Mother and Emilie stopped talking when I sat down. I looked at them suspiciously. “There is no need to stop or did I interrupt a private conversation.”

  Mother patted my hand. “Not really private, my dear. But it’s something that we don’t want to burden your father and Samuel with.”

  I knew I looked puzzled and Aunt Emilie was looking around cautiously. “We don’t want to tell them yet. Dr Jefferson knows, of course, but—”

  Then it dawned on me and I had to restrain my reaction, “Oh my god, Emilie, the Earl was right, you are expecting!”

  Emilie smiled and nodded then quickly glanced at the card table, but the men were completely engrossed in their game. “But how did the Earl know?”

  I smiled. “He told me that he knows the signs after being a father five times.”

  She giggled looking at him. Then she turned her smile on me, “Not only will you be an aunt, but you’ll be a sister again too.”

  My mouth fell open and I looked at my mother. I could see the blush on her cheek and that both ladies were a bit fuller in the face, then I remembered that they had not always looked their best at the breakfast table recently but seemed to bloom as the day moved on. I leaned in and kissed them both on the cheek. “When will you tell them?”

  They both looked at each other and shrugged then Mother said, “So much has been happening lately we didn’t want to throw them into a panic.”

  “Mother, you do know that something is always happening in our lives. Look at Papa and Uncle Samuel, they both look care worn, perhaps some good news would make them feel better.”

  Mother looked around. “Not now!”

  I shook my head. “No. But maybe later when you’re alone?” She smiled and nodded in agreement.

  “Lissa, are you and Miles—I mean, is Miles—”

  My heart clenched because I wasn’t sure what she was asking but I answered as best I could, “We’ll be fine, Mother. It will take time and hopefully Dr Grimes can help him. I think he’ll be better now that what happened to him isn’t a secret from the people that care about him and love him.”

  Mother yawned and decided she would go and check on James before retiring for the evening. Aunt Emilie was going to check on the de Bearnes, they had retired right after dinner to spend time together as a family and to bond with their children once again. That left me as the sole female in the room a prospect that would put me at a decided disadvantage in any conversation, so I rose with them to retire to my room. All the gentlemen expressed their sorrow to lose our company and at the same time there was an undercurrent of childlike excitement that ran through them. Let them plan their war against the smuggling ring. I knew that there would be no place for me in the confrontation to come.

  As we left we met Gabriel walking across the hallway making for the drawing room. “Ah, ladies, is everyone retiring?”

  My mother smiled, “No, Mr de Bearne, you are still in time to join in the fun.”

  He seemed taken aback, “Excuse me, Madame Turner?”

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make light of what my husband and brother are planning.”

  He looked at the three of us and quirked one eyebrow, “And what are they planning?”

  It was my father who answered him from the drawing room doorway, “A raid on Lord Burley and his smuggling ring.”

  Gabriel whistled th
rough his teeth. “Indeed!” Then he smiled ear from ear, “May I be of assistance?”

  Father gave him an appraising look. “I would have thought you’d seek out your uncle and return to your family in Spain.”

  Gabriel laughed. “My uncle knows I am alive and there will be much to discuss with him eventually. But my family has thought me dead for some time, so a little while longer will not hurt.” He stopped smiling and became deadly serious. “Besides, I owe the Clarkes and Brownes my undivided attention. I only ask that you keep my wife and sons under your family’s protection while I assist you in this business.”

  Father was partially in shadow, but I could see his frown and Gabriel could as well. He responded with a challenge in his voice, “You need me, Turner! I know how they do things.” Then he relaxed losing some of his bravado but none of his anger, “I need to be part of this, let me assist you. I promise you will not regret it.”

  No one spoke for a time as if we were all frozen in that moment. Father looked at him sighing, “De Bearne, I can’t afford to have you to go off on a personal vendetta and jeopardize our plan.”

  Gabriel shook his head. “You have no idea how deep this operation runs. It’s not just Burley, he uses people, powerful people through blackmail and threats much like he did Mrs Turner’s father.” He stretched out his arm and pointed at my father, raising his voice, “But you and Hughes have proven to be his only stumbling block.” He lowered his arm and his voice. “Even Hughes’ drinking problem was not sufficiently embarrassing to use against him since he openly acknowledges it. Neither you nor he have any other vices to exploit. Even the Earl is an open book just as is the Marquis. There is nothing in any of your pasts that will serve his purpose. So, it has come down to who will survive—you or him. Beware, Turner, he will stop at nothing to destroy you, your family and friends.”