That morning she woke up at 6a.m. She had gone to sleep earlier than usual the night before and so she was wide awake before her alarm clock went off. Everything around her was still dark as the sun rose later in this corner of Fairness Avenue. She dedicated her Sundays to herself. She reflected on how little things she did for herself during the week and silently welcomed the decision that Sundays were indeed very valuable. Her Sunday routine was carefully planned just over two years ago. Sunday was the day she would run and play tennis, treat her hair and nails, do her meditation and spend time with her mother. Like many other women, Caroline's mother was a behavioral role model and influenced critical life decisions. Being a religious Catholic, her mother was the living moral filter through which many parameters of the emotion market had been filtered during the progression of her research. She recalled her mother’s shocking reaction when Caroline first told her that it could actually be done.
“What do you mean you are able to tamper with any emotion?”
She truly had a horrendous look on her face. Her mother knew all too well that Caroline was engaged in researching how emotions are created, stored and adjusted. However, she had never thought for one minute that her daughter would lead this promising research to absolute success. To have complete control over human emotions was something she never foresaw. There were countless implications.
“This is sacrilegious, child! Some things are not ours to tamper with! Some things are God’s!”
Then again this wasn’t the first issue that she and her mother had a disagreement on. Jane Emerson thought very little of science and this was not news to Caroline. She also recalled her urging her “Watch yourself, child, you might get in trouble!” when she was explaining the importance of her discovery. Jane Emerson feared for her daughter ever since. She feared that her own child was trying to play God! She also knew from history that when someone tried that, the results were catastrophic.
Caroline respected her mother and her opinion about many things. She just didn’t see it that way. She knew that Mom only wanted what was best for her daughter, but how could she actually know? How could anyone really know what’s best for another? People often don’t even know what’s best for themselves…
Broken personalities and relationships, suicides, addictions, deceit, arrogance, malice… Caroline thought that if a visit to an emotion market was obligatory, the 7 deadly sins would never have existed. But then the entire society would be emotionally cloned. All evil in this world came from emotional shortcomings that manifested into thoughts, then behaviors and then destinies.
Was it really wrong to play God when one had the inspiration to do so? She still couldn’t decide.
She sat on the wooden chair that was a mismatch to the rest of the bedroom furniture. This chair reminded her of father. It was his favorite. Caroline thought she could still hear the creaking sound that the chair made every time she climbed to Dad’s feet while he was reading the Sunday Times. When she was little she couldn’t understand anything that Dad was reading but still he read aloud, adjusting his voice accordingly to the news topic. As time went by, this became a beautiful Sunday habit and, although inappropriate, she continued climbing on Dad’s lap for years to come.
This chair and the vivid memories she had of her father were all that was left, but in a strange way it was enough. She opened the bottom desk drawer and pulled out several A4 sheets of paper. This ritual was also part of Sunday’s routine. On Sundays she wrote down everything that had troubled her during the week that had passed.
CAROLINE'S CONFESSIONS
Dear diary,
I know it’s childish on my behalf, but I don’t know how else to refer to you. I am 38 years old and I think that keeping my thoughts in a diary is absolutely normal. I also recognize that it is not absolutely sane of me to have imaginary friends at this stage of my life. But that’s what you are for me. An imaginary friend I feel I can confess to. Recording my thoughts even for a while helps me feel secure. Through these lines, I know you will judge me or rather I will censor myself. But there is no other way for me though. The secret thoughts I have, if they come true, might have a serious impact on the society’s evolution. In regards to what has already commenced, I do not know if I have the strength to admit openly that I may have made mistakes. It is not a matter of emotions. I have a normal variation in volumes of basic emotions like any normal person. What I lack is a disregard of the consequences. I could perhaps adjust the volume of my indifference regularly. I could may as well maximize its volume and still no one could easily tell. Some consequences of my discovery both scare me and make me have agonizing feelings about the parameter me and my team have failed to predict... It won’t be long before some civilian or scientist around the world finally notices. It will then be the beginning of the end...
(If I hadn’t decided to burn you into ashes the minute I finish writing you dear diary, I’m not sure I would be writing this down.)
I'm so afraid. I fear that somehow your pages (if I actually kept you) would fall into the wrong hands. The hands of someone that won’t share my opinion on confidentiality and privacy. That won’t be good...
Please don’t expect me to write down what’s good or bad, dear diary. I hate all sorts of moral labels! I don’t even know what’s good or bad for me anymore. Things that felt right at some point later came back to haunt me because at the crucial moment I had decided which path to follow based on my instincts.
For the parameter I wish to tell you...
While everything is going as initially planned regarding people’s acceptance of EMs, I stay aloof and observe. I actively participate in the decision making process of the whole EM philosophy, but still feel like a simple observer. The reason is that for some time now, I have sensed the importance of this particular parameter (haven’t written it down yet), but I haven’t found the courage to share it with anyone. It’s not a matter of trust, dear diary. There are people in my life that can help me carry the burden and ease the pain that this knowledge brings. There’s also the emotion market… I can always go there to completely get rid of the fear and anxiety. But this isn’t something I’d try at the moment since I believe in making crucial decisions with a clear heart and mind. I remain completely dubious about the right course of action.
Racism! Discrimination! There, I said it! Or rather wrote it! This is the parameter that has hovered in my mind for some time now. Emotional prejudice is imminent! It’s galloping with a steady pace and will crash everything on its path. Prejudice in general is by far the worst social phenomenon that I can imagine. Emotional prejudice, however, is bound to outrun any other kind of prejudice. Our society is ready to be divided into emotionally advanced and emotionally primitive people. I carry this burden very heavily in my soul. It’s the fear of being the one responsible, dear diary. I could totally get rid of it, but I didn’t. It would be irresponsible of me to tamper with this emotion! I can’t be irresponsible for prejudice related issues. To create an entirely new kind of prejudice through my medical tech is something that keeps me from sleeping at night. I hope you understand how I feel… I find that such a prejudice could be paralleled with racism!
Emotional “racism” won’t apply to something visible to the eye like ethnic origin, color, race, or sex. It will be hidden, but present and very real. It is already a reality in the lives of some that have undergone the emotional invasive procedure. Citizens are excited by the experience of buying emotions. Citizens whose lives have rapidly changed after their visit to an EM. Some of them turn into emotional racists considering themselves superior and advanced for having tried the new medical tech. They consider others inferior and outdated...
I'm in contact with the other part of the society as well, those who are opposed to EM tech. I assure you, dear diary, that they too are possessed by emotional prejudice. They insult, mock and pity those who visit EMs. These two sides are clearly separated ... There is emotional prejudice on both. It’s like an invisible bon
d that unites those who have emotional invasive procedures and those that would never have one. Diversity!
I believe in a world of opposites. I know there are many like me, strong believers, who live their lives appreciating the value of diversity in all its embodiments. Others, who have rigid and inflexible personalities and are driven by fear, come to hate diversity. I'm afraid EMs will be the fertilizer for insecure personalities who feel threatened by diversity. Regardless the side! Emotional prejudice will find its way into the souls of both parties. I fear dear diary...
Her confessions on paper were over and she immediately went to the kitchen to complete the Sunday’s routine. She put the A4 papers inside the metal sink and after soaking them in alcohol she lit them on fire! Burning her thoughts and concerns in the kitchen’s sink was one of the things she did on any given Sunday. Even with no record of proof, these thoughts would stay engraved in her mind… but only there. Never on paper!
She went into her bedroom again to put on her sporting gear. She would run longer that day since last Sunday she had skipped her running routine because of the pile of mail she had to go through. She still was very curious to see what people wrote to her. Hans, the expert that Mary Ann West had sent to her, was literally a huge help. Her hands would be free to work with and not tied to a keyboard.
She went down the lobby, greeted Mr. Parker and began to jog lightly... It was still too early in the morning and the sky’s color was a dark blue that gradually brightened as golden rays multiplied. It was such beautiful scenery. She felt blessed that she could jog on the sidewalk without being interrupted by the usual mob of bypassers. She found excessive noise of any kind disturbing.
The route she would follow was very pleasing. It had the proper amount of isolation from the ugliness of the city as well as wild nature and a beautiful pond with ducks that could be reached within three quarters of an hour. She would also test her new sneakers that promised an almost flying experience! And they actually delivered this very thing! They were expensive, but worth every dollar spent. Due to their innovative tech, the shoes gave her the feeling that she wasn’t attached to the ground. Caroline was a gadget freak. She had to be one of the first to try anything new that sounded interesting. Subconsciously it was that love for innovations that had aided her effort in discovering her very own medical tech of Emotion Markets.
She was well inside the park when her eyes stumbled across Robert’s canteen. Robert’s Delight served by far the best butter croissants! Surprisingly she didn’t see the usual queue, and Robert, who also saw her, nodded his head from a distance. Caroline smiled and pointed with her hand that she would go there on her way back. Robert was familiar with her Sunday routine. In less than two hours, Miss Emerson would be ordering her usual. Two butter croissants and a natural apple-carrot juice. While progressing deeper inside the park, she felt flooded by nature’s energy. She could easily make contact with this energy. At least that’s how she interpreted this amazing feeling she had. She had read in Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield that if one tightly leaned their back at the trunk of a large tree one could feel the energy of the tree penetrating one’s body. This was many years ago, but leaning her back on large tree trunks had become a habit of some sort. In this park, her favorite one was a beech tree. Its huge trunk was slightly worn out but still quite majestic! The "Great Beech", that’s what she called it, had the misfortune to grow a distance from the park’s basic pathway. The Great Beech proudly stood there for everyone to see but few bothered to actually go underneath its enormous branches. It’s the same in life, she thought. Very few people are willing to bypass their predetermined pathways in life.
That kind of marching made life seem like a dull circle! Could it be that modifying one’s emotions would create a deviation from this circle? And what if Emotion Markets were capable of transforming the dull circle into another shape? Any shape one wished their life to have… That would be nice! Under the assumption, of course, that there would be proper usage of EMs.
Caroline didn’t expect to see anyone around the Great Beech, but someone was there… a man with his dog. They seemed to be having a good time playing fetch with an unspecified object that the man was throwing for Chico. Apparently that was the dog’s name. Boy in Spanish. Chico quit playing fetch as soon as he spotted her and ran towards her. He obviously found it more interesting to sniff her instead of playing fetch for the millionth time. If only dogs could speak…
The man called for Chico with an abrupt tone and the dog realized he wasn’t allowed to further approach her. In a milder manner this time, the man spoke again to his dog:
“Chico calm down now, Miss Emerson doesn’t want to be disturbed!”
“No, no it’s quite all right! I love dogs! I see you’ve recognized me.”
“Who wouldn’t?”
“True… The 10 with Mary Ann show...”
“It seems kind of funny that you consider it unlikely to be recognized from your work.”
“Yes... it is funny I guess. But it is a sad reality! Reality is often both funny and sad!”
He extended his hand for a distant handshake.
“Ethan Parsons.”
“I’m Caroline, nice to meet you. I think I recognize you as well now that you’ve told me your last name. You’re Susan Parson’s husband, right?”
“That’s correct! I have long reconciled with the idea that Susan’s profession is more recognizable than mine. Many people know me through my wife.”
“Politics is everywhere, right?
“Right you are!”
“Well, I happen to know your wife in person; her office has actually helped us a lot with all bureaucracy matters involved in medical tech. Your wife sir is doing a great job promoting Walter’s Care. It’s a great honor for me that they’re considering to embody EM tech in the reform bill for health! I’m very happy that my EM tech stands to have the state’s approval!”
“About that... no offense, Caroline, but shouldn’t there be laws that ensure the proper use of Emotion Markets?”
“None taken, Ethan. You’re right. Same rules apply to Emotion Markets as to any new medical technology. The results will be either successful or catastrophic depending on the usage. It’s one of the reasons I initiated the establishment of the International Council of Emotional Control and it’s coordinated action with UN regulations.”
“I seriously wonder if it’s enough to prevent a possible calamity from misuse.”
“Of all people you should be the last to wonder.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I imagine that you have access to all sorts of details about the works of international committees on the subject. Through your wife I mean…”
“I know about the works in progress, Miss Emerson. What no one seems to be able to answer with certainty is the chance of having unforeseen side effects after the use of an emotion market. Something as fundamental to the psyche of citizens should go through extensive clinical trials, don’t you agree?”
“I agree that it is way too early to obtain conclusive evidence from the clinical trials. But I suspect you know what the true reason for all this hastiness to embody invasive procedures from EMs in Walters Care is.”
“You mean the financial aspect?”
“Yes. The branch of health absorbs a large percentage of the country’s GDP. Integrating invasive procedures in Emotion Markets in Walter’s Care saves the US government a lot of money. There have been comparative cost-benefit analyses on sideways. The cost of care and hospitalization of patients with mental illnesses of an emotional background is just not viable. The numbers are overwhelming!”
“Then it's all about the money.”
“Isn’t it always?”
Ethan appreciated that this brilliant woman was bluntly engaged in their conversation. From the little they had spoken, he detected a woman that spoke without hesitating, a fast thinker with a cheerful smile, lavish lips and nice curves.
“It seems
that your conscious is clear, doc.”
“I am at peace with myself, yes... You know, Mr Parsons, I’ve spent years thinking about it all. I concluded that since we can’t travel back in time, we may as well accept what has already been done. My research and findings were not random. The time was right for this medical tech to be discovered. We were really close to this discovery for some time now. I just happened to be the one to fill in the blanks.”
“You’re very modest,” said Ethan.
“Perhaps I am. What I mean is… I think as a society we are ready to use this medical tech breakthrough to our advantage. It's really upon all of us to adequately legislate the terms that will govern its use. It's also upon us to foresee and do everything in our power to prevent the possibly harmful consequences.”
“You seem sincere, Caroline. Let us hope for the best! Since we met in such a beautiful place and we are close in age, I hope you won’t mind me calling you Caroline,” he said with a sweet smile.
Caroline reciprocated the smile and finally realized what she should have from the beginning… She was attracted to this man! He seemed very sure of himself and had the appropriate body type to support this confidence. Susan Parsons was lucky to have him. He was tall, dark-haired, with broad shoulders, strong hands and piercing green eyes. He also seemed to be best buddies with his dog and that was always so sexy in men.
“I trust you'll be at the PATOTTM annual meeting?” she asked and glimpsed at his bottom.
“Well, that’s sort of a given! How about you?”
“I’ve been asked to address the conference with a brief speech on EMs… right after your wife.”
“That’s nice! Last year the Nobel Prize and now this! You’re on a winning spree!”
“The people of PATOTTM are fanatic defenders of my work!” said Caroline sarcastically with a curtsy.
"Ha, ha I’m sure they have their reasons! These guys are serious… See you at the conference then. It’s been really nice meeting you, Caroline.”
EMOTION MARKET: the Tailor of Hearts - A gripping psychological thriller Page 9