“Right. He’s not gonna let you get too close, especially after what happened with me. You’re probably kidding yourself, though, and still holding out hope, thinking maybe you can change his mind?”
“No,” I lied.
Her mouth curved into a somewhat empathetic smile. “I wouldn’t blame you at all, by the way. I just pity your situation because it reminds me of a time when I didn’t get it. But thankfully, I’ve moved on.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.” Sadly, I wanted to ask her how she’d managed to get over him—if she were even telling the truth. Ironically, the only thing that’d helped me get over Elec somewhat had been Damien.
“Do you have any questions about the dogs?”
“No. He briefed me on their routine.”
“Okay…well, here’s my number if you need to reach me.” She placed a small piece of paper on the counter.
“Thanks.”
After the door shut behind Jenna, I let out a long sigh and looked over at the Double Ds. They were still trying to catch their breaths as they stared at me excitedly with their long tongues hanging out. They were truly beautiful dogs with smooth black hair and copper fur accenting their paws and faces.
“Your mama is either very bitter or very smart. I haven’t figured out which yet.” I made my way to the cabinet where Damien stored the dog food. “Are you guys hungry?” When they started to jump up and down around me, I joked, “No bacon, though, okay?”
Big mistake.
At the mere mention of it, they started to flip out.
Shit.
The B word had to be banned altogether.
***
By the second day, it was clear that there was only one way I was going to catch up on sleep after the dogs’ breakfast. I picked up my phone and sent a text to Damien.
Hey. Would it be okay if I napped over at your apartment in the mornings? It’s the only way the dogs will stop barking.
Damien: You shouldn’t even have to ask. Make yourself at home.
Chelsea: Thanks. I really appreciate it.
Damien: Thank you again for looking after them. Is everything going okay?
Chelsea: Yes. Perfect.
Damien: Cool.
It wasn’t necessary to divulge that I’d nearly lost my grip on them during our first morning walk or that it took me five minutes to calm them down after that first and last mention of bacon. Overall, though, it was going pretty well.
As expected, the barking ceased once I made my way into Damien’s apartment and then to his bedroom. I didn’t, however, expect the dogs to climb into bed with me.
Thankfully, Dudley and Drewfus were clean animals. Jenna must have washed them often because they never smelled bad even when they were sweaty.
Sandwiched between them, I closed my eyes and relished Damien’s smell, which saturated the sheets. Sinking my nails into the goose down pillow, I took a deep breath in and imagined for a moment that it was him.
My heart started to beat faster. That made me realize how badly I’d been craving being close to him, even though I’d been trying to suppress my feelings to avoid getting hurt. He wasn’t even with us, but here in this bed, in his most intimate place, I could feel his presence strongly
Allowing myself to release all of the pent up desire, I tightened my grip on the pillow and grinded my body into the mattress, imagining that it was Damien’s hard body under me. It was a dance of arousal and frustration enhanced by burying my face in his intoxicating smell.
When I eventually opened my eyes, Dudley was staring at me funny, and it brought me back to reality.
I finally dozed off.
***
By the end of the week, I was getting used to sleeping with the dogs. Dare I say, I was starting to enjoy napping while sandwiched between them.
Things were pretty uneventful until Thursday. That was when Drewfus thought it would be funny to squeeze himself under Damien’s bed. The Double Ds were due to go for their walk before I had to go to work. We were running late, and I couldn’t get him to come out.
There was a flat, black shoebox underneath that I needed to move out of the way in order to get to him.
After I finally got Drewfus to come out from under, my hand stilled as I went to slide the box back under the bed. Written on the lid in silver Sharpie were the words, Pandora’s Box.
So incredibly tempted to open it, I quickly shoved it under the bed and forced myself not to think about it as I took the dogs out for their walk.
That entire day at work, it was impossible to stop theorizing about what might have been inside of that box. The only sure thing was that it was something he wanted to keep hidden.
After Jenna picked up the dogs that night, I was alone in Damien’s apartment. Deciding to lie back on his bed, I kept thinking about the box.
A thought occurred to me. Damien had taken it upon himself to barge into my bathroom once, seizing my Kindle. He’d satisfied his curiosity despite my protesting. He’d also pressed play on the DVD of Elec and me without permission, so he’d understand my curiosity, right?
Impulsively, I hopped off the bed, knelt down, and crawled underneath, sliding the box out and opening it.
I was surprised to find a mishmash of things, from old trading cards to coins to a few newspaper articles. Upon closer examination, it occurred to me that one of the newspapers featured the obituary for his father, Raymond Hennessey. My chest tightened. I felt a bit foolish now for thinking that the box contained something salacious.
My fingers then landed on a DVD that was inside of a plain plastic case. It was simply marked, Jamaica.
Feeling an intense need to know more about him, I glanced over at the television that was across from his bed, noticing that there was a DVD player right beside it. Without allowing myself the time to let guilt sink in, I quickly opened the case and popped the DVD inside.
The first image on the screen was a man’s bare abs. The lighting was bad. He seemed to be adjusting the camera. When he bent down to look inside the lens, a quick glimpse of his face revealed that it was Damien.
Oh. Fuck.
What was I about to watch?
For a brief moment, I closed my eyes until I heard a female voice in the video.
“Is it recording?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
When he turned around toward her, his ass was facing the camera and filled the screen. It was perfectly round, muscular, smooth and unblemished—everything I thought it would be. He had a beauty mark about the size of a pea on his right ass cheek. I covered my mouth and couldn’t help laughing at that.
Holy shit. I was staring at Damien’s ass.
Beautiful ass.
I needed to shut it off, but I couldn’t move.
It was difficult to see what she looked like. His back was blocking her, but it seemed that she was rubbing her hands down the front of his body.
“God, you’re ready,” she said.
“How ever can you tell?” he asked seductively.
His voice gave me chills.
Then, he reached over to grab something, and I heard what sounded like the crinkle of a condom wrapper. He lowered himself over her. I was grateful that I couldn’t make out her face.
She moaned out, “I love that first time you sink into me.”
“Yeah? You’re gonna love how hard I fuck you even more.”
After about a minute of sitting there frozen, my eyes were glued to Damien’s ass as he thrust his hips and pounded into her. I knew I had to stop. Just listening to the sounds he was making—ones I knew would haunt me for many nights to come—I’d decided I’d done enough damage to my psyche.
I ejected the DVD, carefully placing it back in the case before returning it to the box, which I slid under the bed.
My heart was pounding uncontrollably. I really had no right to watch that. It was likely several years old and a part of Damien’s past that wasn’t meant for anyone else’s eyes. I suddenly felt ashamed of myself.
>
He would never speak to me again if he knew I’d gone through his most personal stuff.
Guilt overtook me.
What had I done?
***
Back at my apartment, the guilt was soon replaced by the sweetest kind of torture. The vision of Damien’s ass, the deep, throaty sounds of his pleasure had been etched into my brain, replaying over and over as I brought myself to climax several times that night.
I’d replaced all memories of the woman in the video with myself, imagining what he would feel like as he filled me, that husky voice in my ear telling me how good he was going to fuck me while I inhaled the smell of him all over my naked body.
This was my punishment for snooping, and it came in the form of realizing even more clearly what I was missing.
Later that night, I confessed everything to Jade in a phone call after her performance.
“Block it out of your mind. Seriously. Just try to pretend you never saw it.”
“The more I try not to think about it, the worse it is. Sort of like my entire experience with the guy.”
“Here’s an interesting question,” she said. “Would you rather have the friendship you have with him now or a purely sexual relationship you knew would never turn into more? In either scenario, there’s no commitment.”
“Depends on my mood when you ask me. Earlier tonight, I might have said I’d take the sex.”
“But that’s not you, Chelsea. It’s not me, either. I don’t think we know how to not get attached. Some people are really good at compartmentalizing, but we suck at it.”
“You’re right. I would always want more with him. And because he and I have this friendship, I’ve already fallen for him as a person. If it could be just sex with no emotional connection, then maybe that would be different. But it’s too late for that. There already is a connection.”
“You know, I used to joke about you boning him and all that, but I’m almost sorry about that now, because I never knew that this thing would turn into a serious dilemma for you.”
“Maybe I should move.”
“Don’t be silly. You don’t want to move.”
“No, I don’t. That’s the problem. I’d miss him like crazy…and the damn dogs.”
“You and the dogs! That I definitely wouldn’t have predicted!”
“Yes. They’re totally growing on me. As long as I don’t mention bacon.”
“When does he come back?”
“Sometime Saturday afternoon, I think.”
“Does the ex take the dogs on weekends?”
“They alternate. The dogs are staying here this weekend because I guess Jenna is going away. So, she won’t pick them up Friday night. They’ll just stay over.”
“These dogs are like kids!”
“Kids that are practically the size of full-grown men, yeah. You should see how much room they take up in the bed. But I have to say, it’s been nice sleeping next to a warm body or two.”
“Not exactly the kind of double teaming we read about.”
I snorted. “Definitely not.”
“Sweet, though.”
“Yeah, it really is.”
***
I’d decided to sleep over at Damien’s on the last night. That way, I wouldn’t have to leave my bed so early Saturday morning. If I was already there, the Double Ds might let me sleep in a little longer.
Friday night, I curled up next to both dogs on Damien’s couch and watched a documentary.
When I retreated to the bedroom shortly before midnight, they both followed me into the bed. With two snoring dogs flanking me, I fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, it felt like one of them was wrapped around me. It smelled like Damien in the bed more than usual. When a hand moved across my abdomen, my eyes flashed open. I jumped then flipped around only to be met by the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen.
“Damien! What are you doing here?”
He placed his hand on my hip and playfully nudged me. “This is my bed.”
God, I loved it when he touched me. He rarely did.
Painfully aware of his hand still resting on my hip, I cleared my throat and said, “I know, but what are you doing here so early?”
He slid his hand off of my hip, causing me to ache for its return.
“We drove through the night.”
We?
My stomach sank. “Who’s we?”
“Tyler and I.”
“Your brother went with you to L.A?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you been back, and where are the dogs?”
“I came home about five in the morning. When they saw me, they bolted to the living room.”
“Why?”
“They know they’re not allowed in my bed.”
My jaw dropped. “They’re not?”
“No. They were taking full advantage of you. They know to stay out of my bed when I’m in it.”
The dogs were standing outside of the door looking guilty when I glanced over at them. It was kind of cute.
“I had no idea.”
“It’s not your fault. I never specified. I guess I trusted that they would follow the rules. They must have been loving you.”
“Actually, I enjoyed sleeping next to them. I guess you could say we bonded.”
Looking amused, Damien rested his head on his hand as he continued to lie across from me. “Look at you…warming up to the dogs.”
“I just assumed they slept with you.”
He shook his head. “You’re tiny compared to me. If I shared a bed with them, there would be no room. I’d never get any sleep.”
“They are cover hogs.”
“I can’t thank you enough for watching them. Let me take you out to dinner tonight.”
Disappointment filled me when I remembered my date. “Actually, I can’t. I have those plans with Brian.”
“Shit. That’s right. Well, maybe tomorrow instead.”
“Okay. I’d like that.”
“Actually, there’s this new burger place that opened up in Sunnyvale. Apparently, there’s like a mile-long line to get in no matter what time of the day you go, but they’re supposed to have the best burgers in the world. They have crazy desserts, too. Wanna try it for lunch tomorrow instead of dinner?”
“That sounds great, yeah.”
“Cool.” He glanced down at my legs then back up at me. “Where’s The Piano Man taking you?”
“Piano Man?”
“Steinway. Pianos.”
“Oh.” I smiled. “I forgot about that. Actually, fondue, remember? Dipping his stick?”
“Ah, yes. Well, don’t let him divert to Bad Boy Burger. That’s where we’re going.”
“Okay.” I grinned, becoming lost in his eyes for a few moments before asking, “Was your trip successful?”
“Yeah…saw some friends.”
“I thought you said it was business.”
He paused then said, “Tyler and I went to meet with some people about some stuff that may happen in the future, yeah, but we also have some friends in that area.”
Hmm.
“Well, I’m glad you’re home.”
He smirked. “Was Jenna nice to you?”
“Nice enough.”
“That’s Chelsea code for she was a total bitch.”
“No. She wasn’t overly friendly but not a bitch.”
“I’m sure she hates you.”
“Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Actually, I made it clear that there was nothing going on between us, so why should she hate me?”
“Because I doubt she believes that I’m just friends with someone who looks like you.”
“Well, it’s the truth.”
Guilt was starting to creep in as I thought about my snooping.
I suddenly got up. “I’d better get going.”
He followed me off the bed. “Stay and have breakfast.”
Between my fantasizing about
him yesterday and his touching me, I needed relief—not breakfast.
“No, I think I’m gonna go back to my place. I have a lot to do today.”
“Okay. I’ll come by at noon tomorrow, pick you up to go to the burger place.”
“Sounds good.”
The dogs started to follow me out the door.
“No, no no. We’re not going for a walk,” I told them.
Damien was laughing as he watched me try to set them straight. “I’m sorry, but this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I knelt down and let the Double Ds lick my face. “We had fun, didn’t we?”
Damien just stood there watching us with his arms crossed, massively amused.
“Your daddy’s home now. You don’t need me anymore. I’ll see you soon, though.”
Back at my apartment, I plopped down on my bed and couldn’t stop thinking about how Damien’s hand had felt on my hip.
Needing release, I slid down my pants readying to masturbate when right on cue, the barking commenced.
Of course.
CHAPTER TEN
EXES AND OHS
Who changes outfits ten times when they’re just going out for a burger?
This girl.
I didn’t care that Damien was my friend. When he looked at me, I wanted him to regret the decision he’d made when he labeled me just that.
I couldn’t help how I felt.
Last night, throughout the fondue date with Brian, I kept thinking about Damien: Damien’s ass, Damien’s hand on my hip, my impending Sunday lunch with Damien. It was pathetic. I would chuckle to myself every time Brian would dip something into the sauce because I could hear Damien joking about that being the only thing he’d be dipping into. I couldn’t shake my friend from my mind, and I didn’t really want to.
Donning a fitted Betsey Johnson mini-dress that had a faux leather top and flared purple bottom, I went to answer the door.
Damien’s eyes widened when he got a look at me. “I didn’t realize we were going clubbing on a Sunday afternoon.”
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