Neighbor Dearest

by Penelope Ward

  I nudged him with my elbow. “No.”

  He snickered and kissed my cheek.

  Tomorrow’s C-section couldn’t come quickly enough. Because of my preeclampsia, my doctor thought it best to get the baby out a week before its due date, especially since my cervix had not dilated at all.

  We were nervous but so incredibly excited to finally meet our baby.

  ***

  Damien looked so funny wearing the hospital-provided shower cap. Being here reminded me of how terrified I was the day of his surgery. As scary as it seemed to imagine the doctor cutting into my abdomen today, nothing compared to the fear I’d felt the day my husband went under the knife.

  He surprised me when he said, “You know, as scary as my operation was, I’m way more freaked out by this. I just can’t wait until this is over.”

  The irony of his statement made me smile. I guess that’s what it’s like when you love someone. The thought of something happening to the other person is far worse than the thought of something happening to yourself.

  I looked up at him from my horizontal position on the operating table. “I love you.”

  He briefly took down his surgical mask to say, “You guys are my whole life.”

  I felt so grateful that he was feeling well, that he was right by my side.

  Damien held my hand tightly as the doctors explained everything they were doing. Because they’d given me a spinal, my entire lower body was completely numb.

  They’d warned me that I was going to feel some tugging. Just when I did, Damien squeezed my hand harder.

  “Oh, my God, she’s coming. They’re taking her out.”

  Then I heard them.

  Cries.

  Cries.

  More cries.

  My baby.

  Damien’s eyes were glistening. “Oh, my God! She’s beautiful, baby. She looks like you. Just like you!”

  “She does?”

  “Yeah. She’s fair-skinned. She’s an angel. She…she…has…a penis. A penis?”

  “It’s a boy,” the doctor proclaimed.

  Damien started to cry tears of joy and laughter all at once. “She has a little cock. It’s a boy? It’s a boy! Baby, we have a son.”

  “It’s a boy!” I repeated.

  “Yes!”

  After a few minutes passed, a nurse handed our son to Damien who placed him by my face.

  I kissed his cheek, longing to hold him. “Hi,” I said ever so softly.

  As much as Damien thought he looked like me, I could definitely see Damien’s nose.

  “You were supposed to be a girl,” I cooed. “You had your daddy fooled.”

  Damien bent down and kissed our baby boy’s forehead. “He changed the story.”

  ***

  One of the drawbacks of being thrown off guard by the gender of our baby was the fact that we had no name picked out. We’d been so focused on girl names that the boy options fell by the wayside.

  Our son was a few weeks old before we finally decided on a name. We opted to announce it to our closest family and friends on Christmas Eve.

  It seemed like just yesterday that we’d had everyone over for a holiday party at our place last year. So much had changed since. Back then, Damien hadn’t even decided on the surgery, we’d also thought we would never have kids, and we were only just dating. Fast forward a year later, Damien was ten months post-operation, we were married, and we had a son. Not to mention, the dogs were now ours full-time.

  Damien had the baby in a carrier on his chest while he put up the last of the decorations. Still recovering from my C-section, I took it slow as I prepared the food in the kitchen. We weren’t originally going to have a party, but it was a lot easier than trucking our son from house to house during the holidays. We had everything we needed for him here at our place.

  The doorbell rang.

  Tyler, his girlfriend, Nicole, and Damien’s mother were standing in the doorway with wrapped gifts.

  “Hey, guys! Come on in.”

  Monica hugged me tightly. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good, still a tad bit sore, but great considering.”

  Nicole looked me up and down. “You are so tiny. No one would ever know you gave birth a month ago.”

  Damien yelled over to us, “She didn’t even look pregnant from behind in her ninth month. I know this because I spent a hell of a lot of time in that position toward the end.” He glanced at Monica. “Whoops, sorry, Mom.”

  Tyler pushed his way past us over to the baby. “There’s my no-name godson!”

  Nicole smiled. “Aw, he’s wearing a beanie like his daddy.”

  We’d put a little gray hat on him to match Damien.

  Tyler’s gaze travelled from the baby back up to Damien when he said, “I never thought I’d see the day, man.”

  “You and me both, brother.”

  Tyler spoke close to the baby. “Don’t worry, little No-Name. Your uncle Tyler is gonna teach you everything you need to know in this life.”

  “And then Daddy is gonna tell you to just do the opposite of what Uncle Tyler says,” Damien joked.

  “When are we gonna get to hear the name?” Monica asked.

  “When everyone gets here, maybe after dinner, we’ll announce it,” Damien said. “We’re still waiting on Chelsea’s family to arrive.”

  Nicole meandered over to me as she played with her necklace. “Look what Tyler bought me for Christmas. It’s from Tiffany’s.”

  I examined the heart-shaped pendant that hung from a silver chain. “Not too shabby, Ty.”

  “He did good.” She grinned.

  “It’s really pretty. You two must have just celebrated a one-year anniversary, too, yeah? I remember meeting you for the first time last year around this time, and you guys had just started dating.”

  “Yup. Still going strong.”

  Tyler overheard and lifted his index finger. “Which means…I haven’t fucked up yet.”

  Damien smacked his brother on the shoulder. “Seriously, Nicole, it takes a special woman to deal with my narcissistic brother. Bravo to you.”

  “Touché.” Tyler laughed. He then turned to me. “So, who’s coming from your side tonight?”

  “My sister, Claire, her husband, Micah, and their baby daughter, Clementine. Also, my parents.”

  “Don’t you have another sister?” Monica asked.

  “Yeah.” I pouted. “Jade couldn’t make it home from New York. Her show is always busiest this time of year.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Yes, it does. I miss her. She hasn’t even met the baby yet. It’s killing her, but they literally threatened her job when she asked for time off to come home when he was born.” Feeling down, I said, “Soon though. She’ll fly out here as soon as she has the chance.”

  Tyler wrapped his arm around Nicole. “Why don’t I get some drinks started?”

  “Actually, little brother, I was gonna send you to the liquor store to pick up some beer. I went out earlier and forgot it—the most important thing.”

  “I can do that.” He kissed his girlfriend on the nose. “Nic, you want to stay or come with me?”

  “I’ll stay.”

  A few minutes after Tyler left, the doorbell rang. I assumed it was my family, since they were all driving here in one minivan.

  My heart pummeled against my chest upon the sight of my sister. She was standing there holding a bunch of bags.

  “Jade! Oh, my God!”

  We leapt into each other’s arms. When she pulled away, she got teary-eyed at the sight of the baby. Without prompting, Damien took him out of the carrier and handed him to his auntie.

  Jade admired our son in her arms. “I’ve been dying to hold him.”

  I gave her a minute to enjoy him before I asked, “How did you manage to get away?”

  “I literally cried, begged and pleaded for just one night off. I have to fly right back tomorrow night. I just couldn’t go any longer without seeing him.” She lo
oked back down at the baby and said, “He looks like us. But he has Damien’s nose.”

  “That’s exactly what I said!”

  Damien looked happy to see me so happy. “Jade, this is an amazing surprise. You have no idea how stoked you’ve just made your sister.”

  She grinned over at me. “I’m so glad I could make it happen.”

  Everyone else arrived soon after, and they were just as shocked as I was to see Jade standing there holding the baby. She didn’t let go until he pooped, at which point Damien came to the rescue so that I could have a little one-on-one time with my sister.

  Jade and I were getting food ready in the kitchen when Tyler returned from the store with the beer.

  “Tyler, come meet my sister! This is Jade.”

  Jade, who’d been facing me, turned around to greet him.

  He opened his mouth and stopped as if he’d seen a ghost. I couldn’t blame him for being speechless at the first sight of her. Many people had that reaction. Jade was tall and gorgeous, a commanding presence who lit up any room she was in. With her blonde pixie cut, big eyes and tiny nose, she looked almost like a real-life version of Tinkerbell.

  He stumbled over his words. “Hi. I…uh, I’m…”

  Jade answered for him. “Tyler.” She smiled. “You’re Tyler.”

  “That’s my name. Yup. And you’re…” Tyler lost his words again.

  “Jade.”

  He laughed nervously. “Right. She said that. Jade. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand, and she took it.

  “I know. Finally, right? Really nice to meet you, Tyler.”

  Nicole walked into the kitchen at that moment, and Tyler, whose hand had been lingering on Jade’s, instinctively let go.

  “There you are, Ty. I didn’t see you come in. I was beginning to think you got lost out there.”

  Flashing a disingenuous smile, he said, “Hey. Yeah, too many beer choices these days.” He looked over at my sister again. “Jade, this is…”

  When he again blanked out, his girlfriend answered on his behalf. “Nicole.”

  Jade smiled at him. “Yes. She and I met when you were out.”

  “Great. Okay, then.” He gestured back with his thumb. “I’m just gonna…put this beer in the fridge.”

  Tyler bent down at the base of the refrigerator and was fumbling with the bottles when one slipped out of his hand and shattered onto the ground. “Fuck,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry, Chelsea. I’ll get it cleared out.

  I’d never seen Tyler act like that. He was normally cool as a cucumber. Was it a reaction to my sister, or something else?

  After Tyler and Nicole left the kitchen, Jade just looked at me in silence. I’d seen that look on her face before. We had a way of reading each other’s minds without saying anything.

  “So, that’s Tyler.” She glanced over to where he was standing in the opposite side of the apartment.

  “Yep.”

  “He’s gorgeous,” she whispered.

  “I know. Damien and he look similar but different, right?”

  “Totally.” Jade let out a deep breath. She, too, looked a bit flustered.

  If there was one thing I knew about my sister, it was that she would never consider moving in on someone with a girlfriend. Jade’s last relationship ended with her ex leaving her for someone else—just as mine had done to me. She understood what betrayal felt like. And even if in some alternate universe, he weren’t with Nicole, I wasn’t sure I could trust Tyler with Jade’s heart. As much as I loved my brother-in-law, he wasn’t Damien. An actor dating an actor didn’t seem like a wise combination, either.

  Still, for a fleeting moment, I couldn’t help fantasizing about what it would be like to see Damien’s brother with my sister. That was all it was—a fantasy, especially since Jade lived in New York, and Tyler lived here.

  Lived with his girlfriend here.

  Okay. Move on, Chelsea.

  Later that night, everyone had eaten and exchanged gifts, so it was the opportune time to announce the name we’d chosen.

  Damien did the honors.

  “So, I want you all to know that we thought long and hard about this, going back and forth between obscure names and common ones. Nothing felt right for the longest time. Then, my little lady put her foot down. She told me there was only one name that felt right. Who am I to refute that? So, I introduce to you…Damien Raymond Hennessey, or as we like to call him, Little D.”

  After all of the “oohs” and “aahs,” Tyler shouted across the room jokingly, “We waited all this time just to find out you named him Damien?”

  “Damn straight. And his middle name is after Dad, of course.”

  Monica was in tears, probably thinking about her late husband.

  “I think our choice is pretty representative of our relationship as a whole,” I added. “Sometimes, the best things are right under your nose all along.”

  ***

  Damien and I were getting ready for bed Christmas Eve, and I had to ask, “Did Tyler say anything to you about Jade?”

  “You mean other than, ‘Holy shit, how did you not tell me her sister was hot as fuck?’ No.”

  “What did you say to him?”

  “I told him that Jade was family now and that I’d kick his ass if he ever fucked with her.”

  “You did?”

  “Hell, yes, I did. That being said, I think he’s really into Nicole. The teenage boy in him just came out for a little bit when he laid eyes on your sister.”

  “Okay.” I decided to drop the subject and move on from my apparent obsession with the idea of Tyler and Jade.

  Damien prowled toward me on the bed. “So…are you ready for your gift?”

  “You said to expect something nuts, so I’m not so sure.”

  “It’s not that crazy.” He looked up at the ceiling in doubt then chuckled. “Well, maybe it is.”

  “What did you do?”

  “So, let me preface this by saying…I never loved that mole on my ass. I used to hate it actually…until you told me you dug it.”

  “Whoa. Now I’m really confused. What are we talking about here?”

  “I decided to make a mountain out of a mole hill, baby.”

  “A what?”

  “Rather than getting it removed, I worked with it.”

  Damien stood up from the bed and slowly pulled down his pants to reveal his muscular, tanned ass. A name was tattooed in the spot where the mole used to be.

  Wait.

  The mole was still there! It was now used to dot the ‘I’ in the word he’d etched onto his beautiful derriere.

  FIRESTARTER.

  EPILOGUE

  DAMIEN

  New Year’s Eve.

  This time last year, Chelsea and I were kissing in Times Square.

  Now, she was fast asleep next to me with our son on her chest. He’d also fallen asleep while sucking on her nipple. The dogs were out cold on the floor next to them.

  They’d all slept right through the crystal ball dropping. Cartons of half-eaten Chinese food sat on the coffee table. We were a sight for sore eyes.

  I was the only one awake. The TV volume was on low as I sipped my beer and counted my blessings.

  I was here.

  I was alive with a wife, two dogs and most of all, a precious son I never dreamt I’d have.

  Tracing my finger along little Damien’s tiny foot, I marveled at how much a life could totally change in a year. Mine did for the better.

  With too much nervous energy to sleep, I grabbed my laptop and started to surf the net. I hadn’t checked my email in what felt like ages. When I clicked on the icon, Chelsea’s email was open, since she was the last to log in. There was an email from over a year ago that she hadn’t deleted. Normally, I wouldn’t notice this, but the name struck me immediately.

  Elec O’Rourke.

  Her ex.

  The date on the email was from before Chelsea and I were officially a couple.

  I couldn
’t help but read it.

  It was just a brief acknowledgement of the day we’d run into him at Bad Boy Burger way back when. From what I could see, she never responded to his message.

  I was feeling incredibly happy tonight—high on life. Revved up. Impulsively, I reopened the email, clicked reply and typed:

  You don’t know me, but my name is Damien Hennessey. I’m Chelsea’s husband—the same guy with the forearm tattoo from the burger joint.

  Her email inbox happened to be open, and I stumbled across your message. I felt it warranted a response.

  I have very mixed feelings about you. A part of me wants to hunt you down and fuck you up for ever hurting her the way you did. Another part of me wants to hunt you down and give you a big gay kiss on the lips as a thank you for the day you decided that fucking around with your stepsister was a good idea.

  That didn’t exactly come out right, but you get the point.

  I’d always hated you. Mainly, I hated the fact that she’d ever loved anyone before me. But as of today, I’m done hating you or anyone, for that matter.

  I have a son.

  He was just born a little over a month ago. I need to set an example for him.

  So, this isn’t hate mail; it’s a thank you letter of sorts.

  Thank you for screwing your stepsister, and in turn, breaking up with my girl.

  If you hadn’t, Chelsea would be with you right now, and I would’ve never realized the greatest love of my life.

  --D.H. Hennessey

  I put down the laptop and took Baby D off of Chelsea, walking him over to the bedroom. Whenever his little heart beat against my chest, I tried to block out the fear that crept up, focusing instead on the healthy rhythm. I placed him in the bassinet.

  Returning to the couch, I lifted Chelsea into my arms and carried her to our bed. She was still fast asleep when I put her down and covered her. It would only be another hour or so anyway before the baby would inevitably wake up hungry.

  I ventured back into the living room and was just about to shut down my laptop and join Chelsea in bed when I noticed a new email had come in.

  It was from Elec O’Rourke.