Full Scoop

by Janet Evanovich

  “I think she’s giving you the eye,” Everest said, almost reverently.

  “I’m thinking you don’t look so good,” Queenie said, pulling a chair from the table and sitting. Everest and Mel sat as well. “You look like you need to be in the hospital.”

  “You’d think the FBI would have sent someone healthy,” Mel said, glancing at the cast on his right arm. “I hope you don’t shoot with your right hand.”

  Zack nodded. “Sorry. But if it’ll make you feel better, they actually tried to break my left arm too.”

  Everest laughed out loud and slapped his hand on his thigh. “You just kill me.”

  “You don’t seem to take your job very seriously,” Queenie said. “I would think you’d be plotting and planning and all sorts of FBI stuff, seeing that we might have a cold-blooded killer on the way.”

  “I need to clean your wounds and make sure you don’t have a head injury,” Maggie said, feeling a little shy, and a little dopey because of it. But most of the males she was accustomed to treating usually drooled and gnawed teething rings. “Is your vision okay?”

  Zack glanced about the room.

  “How many fingers am I holding up?” Mel asked.

  “Eleven.”

  “Fun-neee.”

  Maggie sifted through his coarse dark hair, her fingers skimming his warm scalp, unleashing the scent of his shampoo. His hair fell well past his collar. “Any tenderness or pressure?” she asked.

  “Not yet,” he said, knowing there was going to be a whole lot of pressure building if she kept raking her fingers through his hair.

  “Excuse me?”

  “No,” he amended.

  “Does anything hurt?”

  Zack looked at her. He’d been about to answer, “Only my whole damn body,” until he noted the color of her eyes. Sky blue. “I’m good,” he said.

  “This is going to sting a little,” Maggie told him. She put alcohol on a cotton ball and touched the cut at his cheek.

  “Ouch!” Zack jumped.

  Maggie snatched her hand away. “Sorry about that.”

  Queenie sighed and shook her head.

  “What is that, battery acid?” Zack asked, glaring at the cotton ball. “That hurt worse than having my arm broken.”

  “You don’t want to risk infection,” Maggie told him.

  “Who says?”

  “It won’t take me long to clean it if you could just be still for a minute.”

  “Somebody hand me a bullet from my gun so I can bite it,” Zack said, wincing. “Better yet, just shoot me.”

  “Are all FBI guys wimps?” Queenie asked.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Mel said. When Maggie gave her a questioning look, the girl added defensively, “It’s nothing rude.” She looked at Zack. “Did you fall off a building or something? Or get hit by a car?”

  “I ran into some bad guys on my last case. Things got a little sticky before we arrested them.”

  “What did they do wrong?”

  Maggie dropped the cotton ball on the floor. Zack felt her breasts brush his arm as she bent to pick it up and toss it aside. “Huh? Oh, the usual. Drugs.”

  “The bandage on your forehead is dirty,” Maggie said. “I really need to change it.”

  Zack looked at her. “Is this some kind of compulsion you have?”

  Everest grinned. “If my sister was here she’d insist on doing your hair.”

  Maggie wished Everest’s sister would come over and shave the man’s beard. She should have taken a closer look at the picture on his badge. “Stop complaining or I’ll take out your tonsils,” she said.

  Zack gritted his teeth but said nothing as she finished treating him. She stepped away. “Are we done, I hope?” he asked.

  “Yep. You have a nice new bandage.”

  Queenie suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth. “I forgot to get the ice cream out of my car.”

  “I’ll get it,” Mel said, standing.

  Queenie suddenly moaned. “Oh, no, I just remembered my car is smashed.” She covered her face with her hands. “My baby!”

  Everest patted her shoulder. “It’s okay, Granny Queenie. I checked while Zack was making Dr. Maggie swear not to let me slam him again if he got up off the driveway. Your car is fine. Dr. Maggie’s fender has a dent in it though.”

  Zack was watching Mel. “Hold on a second,” he said as she reached the door. “I’ll go with you.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Why?”

  “I need to get my bags from the van.” He shrugged. “Maybe have another look around.”

  “I’ll go too,” Everest said. “I want to see how this FBI stuff works.”

  Zack looked at Maggie. “Before I forget, I’m having a state-of-the-art-alarm system installed first thing in the morning. Sensors on every door and window,” he added. “I’ll give you and Mel the code and show you how to use it. It’s very simple.”

  “You’re staying here?” Maggie asked.

  “How do you think he’s going to protect you and Mel?” Queenie asked.

  Maggie nodded. “Oh, yeah.”

  “You must be pretty sure that Carl Lee Stanton is going to show up,” Mel said.

  Zack gave her an easy smile as the three of them headed to the door. “If he makes it this far,” he said, “which is highly unlikely considering everybody in the free world is looking for him.”

  Maggie watched them go through the door. She was glad Zack was playing down the danger. She tossed the dirty bandage and used cotton balls into the trash and returned her medical bag to the top of the refrigerator.

  “You okay?” Queenie asked.

  Maggie nodded. “I have a lot on my mind. Surprising as it might seem,” she added with a rueful smile.

  Mel came through the door with the carton of ice cream, and Queenie put it in the freezer. The phone rang in Mel’s room, and the girl started from the kitchen.

  “Don’t forget what we talked about,” Maggie reminded.

  “I know, Mom. My favorite Uncle Zack is visiting.”

  Maggie waited until she heard the door close to her daughter’s room. “I should probably go in and have that talk with her,” she said to Queenie. “Get it over with,” she added.

  “Doesn’t the poor girl have enough to think about right now without you dishing out more?” Queenie asked.

  Maggie no longer knew what was best for Mel. “I’m already frazzled over the waiting,” she said. “Waiting and not knowing if or when he’ll show up. And we’ve just begun.”

  “This is probably a good time for you and Mel to take a little vacation,” Queenie said.

  “I’m booked solid next week,” Maggie said. “I’ve got new patients coming in. If I cancel they might go someplace else. I need those patients, Queenie.” It was all Maggie could do to pay her overhead some months, not to mention living expenses and putting a good chunk of money into Mel’s college fund each month. As much as she scrimped, she hadn’t made a deposit in her savings account all summer, but she knew it took time to build up a solid practice.

  “Is it worth the risk?” Queenie asked after a moment.

  They were prevented from discussing it further when Zack and Everest walked through the door carrying Zack’s luggage. Maggie noted the serious look on Zack’s face. “Everything okay?” she asked.

  “I need to replace a couple of light bulbs,” he said, setting the small suitcase and a shoulder bag out of the way. Everest placed an olive-colored duffel bag beside them. “The one by the back door is out.”

  “I keep forgetting to replace it,” Maggie said, getting up from the table.

  “This is a good time to do it.”

  Maggie nodded. FBI guys probably changed their light bulbs once a week. “I’ll grab a box of bulbs from the laundry room.”

  “I’m going to check out the inside while you do that.”

  “You’ll have to knock on Mel’s door,” Maggie told him. “She’s on the phone. It could be hours before
she gets off.”

  “That was so cool,” Everest said quietly when Maggie reentered the room. “Zack doesn’t miss a thing. I can learn a lot from watching him. He says I have what it takes to be FBI. Plus, he promised to put in a good word for me. I’m going to join the gym right away and start working out, and then I’m going to buy a gun and go to the firing range so I can practice, and then I’m going to sign up for the exam. I have to go to the library and see if they have any FBI books I can study.” He had to pause to catch his breath.

  “But what about your choir job?” Queenie asked. “I thought you were going to sing for the Lord.”

  He looked thoughtful. “I could maybe start an FBI choir.”

  Queenie pulled a set of keys from her purse and looked at Everest. “Well, before you strap on your pistol harness, Agent Everest, Granny Queenie needs a favor. Would you please look in the trunk of my car and get my satchel?”

  “The satchel?” he asked.

  “Yes. And there’s a box of white candles back there that I’ll need.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, heading for the door once again. He tossed her a grin. “I like the sound of Agent Everest.”

  Queenie gave a satisfied sigh. “That young man is so polite. Impeccable manners too,” she added. “If I didn’t know better I would think I had raised Everest. But I’m not sure about this FBI business. If he leaves I won’t have anybody to scare people for me.”

  Maggie had other things on her mind. “Why do you need your satchel?”

  “Oh, I thought I’d make up a protective floor wash. It can be used for a personal protection wash as well, but you already know all that.” She got up. “Better put on some water to boil.”

  “Please tell me you’re not going to boil a bunch of basil and smell up this whole house,” Maggie said. “Please tell me you don’t expect Mel and me to bathe with it because it’s not going to happen.”

  “And I’ll leave a jar of basil with you to sweep up with as well,” Queenie said, obviously choosing to ignore the question.

  Maggie didn’t put up an argument as Queenie went about her business. Not that she could say or do anything to stop the woman once she made up her mind. Queenie had tried more than once to convince Maggie that many of her remedies were as good as or better than modern medicine, but Maggie did not use them, and she strongly opposed root work or other practices for harmful purposes.

  “I have to make a grocery list,” Maggie said after a moment. She needed to occupy her mind and stop her obsessive worrying or she would drive herself nuts. She grabbed a tablet and pen from a drawer in the small built-in desk.

  Zack entered the room as Everest came through the back door with the candles and satchel. “Here’s your hoodoo-voodoo mojo mumbo-jumbo stuff, Granny Queenie,” he said, grinning. “I hope you don’t have any cat’s eyeballs or lizard’s tails in this big old satchel,” he added as he placed it on her chair. “Because I’ll get a bad case of the heebiejeebies.” He winked at Zack. “Just kidding. Nothing scares me.”

  “You know I don’t use eyeballs and all that nasty stuff,” Queenie told Everest.

  Maggie gave Zack a questioning look. “Everything okay?”

  “I found three unlocked windows, including the one in your daughter’s bedroom,” he said.

  “It cooled off for a change last night so we opened them.”

  “We need to keep them locked from here on out. Also, I want all the blinds and curtains closed, and I want you and Mel to avoid standing in front of them. Beginning now, the two of you don’t leave the house without me. Not even to grab the morning paper.” He smiled. “Deal?”

  Maggie and Queenie exchanged glances. “Do you think he’s already here?”

  Zack shook his head. “I seriously doubt it. The airports, bus stations, and even the marinas were crawling with cops and security within an hour of Stanton’s escape. My guess is they dumped the car the minute they left the hospital. I suspect they had another one waiting nearby. It’s hard to imagine that they would have been dumb enough to steal a vehicle because somebody would report it right away.

  “I think the three of them are traveling together by car. Unless, as a witness to the crime suspects, one of the shooters was hit. If that’s the case we might be looking for two bad guys instead of three.”

  “Maybe Carl Lee was shot,” Queenie said, her voice hopeful.

  Zack smiled at her. “That would help. Unfortunately, we don’t have anything to go on, but I want to be prepared.” He paused and looked around. “What’s that smell?”

  “Queenie is boiling basil to protect the house from evil,” Maggie said as though it were an everyday occurrence. “She practices folk medicine.”

  Zack looked intrigued.

  “This is powerful stuff,” Queenie said. “Carl Lee Stanton will not set foot in this house after I’m done.”

  Maggie sat quietly for a moment, rolling her pencil back and forth on the table. “Um, Zack?” she said. “I need to discuss something with you.”

  He joined her at the table. “I’m all ears.”

  “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Mel, but I think it’s too dangerous for her to stay here. I have an old college friend in Charleston. I could take Mel there.” Maggie heard a sound from the doorway and looked up.

  “No way am I leaving,” Mel said. “I don’t even like your friend Cheryl. All she does is complain because she can’t find a boyfriend.”

  “I could help her with that,” Queenie said.

  “Excuse me,” Maggie told her daughter, “but I’m having a conversation with Zack.”

  “I’m not leaving, Mom. You can’t make me go.”

  Queenie stood at the stove stirring. “I should probably stay out of this. I should probably keep my big mouth shut.”

  Mel crossed her arms. “If you make me go I’ll force myself to throw up in your car. Then, as soon as you leave Cheryl’s house I’ll run away. I’ll hitchhike back.”

  Mel turned, strode across the kitchen floor and into the hall. A second later her bedroom door slammed.

  Queenie made a tsking sound with her tongue. “The girl is scared something is going to happen to you,” she said to Maggie. “As much as I dislike hearing back talk from a child, I’m going to have to cut her some slack this time.” Queenie turned to the stove. “Once this is all past us though, I think you should ground her until she’s thirty. Everest, look in my satchel and grab more basil. Get the big jar. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”

  “Would she actually run away from your friend’s house?” Zack asked.

  “Oh, yes,” Maggie assured him. “She is willful and stubborn and spoiled. Tell him, Queenie.”

  Queenie looked at Zack. “That girl is willful and stubborn and spoiled.”

  “You’ll have to keep Mel out of school for a couple of days,” Zack said. “I want her at your office where I’ll be able to keep tabs on both of you.”

  “I’m really trying hard not to get freaked out over this,” Maggie said, her eyes bright with tears.

  Zack nodded. “It’s tough with kids.”

  Maggie looked at him, noted that his eyes had softened. She did not want Zack Madden feeling sorry for her. She did not want him looking at her like that because it made her feel even more vulnerable, and if she let down her guard she might start crying and never stop. She cleared her throat and tried to sound casual. “Do you have children?”

  “Nope.” Zack grasped his hands behind his head. “I discovered early on that my line of work doesn’t make for a good family life.” His cell phone rang, and he pulled it from the pocket of his jeans and checked the readout on his screen. “I’ll take this outside,” he said.

  “Man, oh man,” Everest whispered once Zack left the room. “I’ll bet that call is from FBI headquarters. This is like watching a movie. Zack is one slick dude.”

  “Yeah,” Queenie said. “But I’m thinking it might be tough for him to keep an eye out for Carl Lee Stanton when he c
an’t keep his eyes off Maggie.”

  Everest nodded. “I noticed it too, Dr. Maggie.”

  “Know what I think?” Queenie said, mopping her face with a paper towel. “I think under that beard is one fine man. And he’s got the nicest behind I’ve seen in a long time. If his front side is as good as his back side—”

  “Queenie!” Maggie glanced toward the kitchen door. “Mel might hear.”

  “Oh, good grief, the girl is thirteen years old,” Queenie said. “What? You don’t think she knows a man has a front side?”

  Maggie almost groaned out loud. She did not want to start thinking about Zack’s front and back parts. “I thought we were going to have an ice-cream party,” she said.

  Queenie gave a grunt. “No way am I going to eat Better than Sex chocolate ice cream with a good-looking man around,” Queenie said. She pretended to fan herself. “I might have an orgasm.”

  “Granny Queenie!” Everest said, clearly shocked.

  Maggie burst into laughter. It felt good to laugh after the day she’d had, with all the fears and worries swirling around in her mind. “I can’t believe you said that!”

  Everest grinned at the older woman. “Hey, you could pretend it was gas.”

  “I don’t think so,” Queenie said, tipping her white head to one side and giving a wicked smile. “Gas doesn’t make you go ‘ooh-ooh-ahh-ahh-ahhhhhhh’ and move like this.” Queenie began a hootchykootchy dance, swinging the dish towel seductively, then pretending to towel off her behind with it as she began swiveling.

  “I may be old, but I’m still hot,” Queenie said, touching herself with one finger and blowing hard on it as though she’d just given herself a bad burn. Maggie and Everest laughed so loud it brought Mel into the room, but Queenie paid the girl no mind and began moonwalking across the kitchen.

  Maggie shrieked with laughter.

  Everest doubled over and held his belly, then grasped the back of Maggie’s chair to keep from falling on the floor.