by S. Allen
Julian grabbed a handbasket and absent-mindedly wandered the aisles contemplating on what he wanted to make for dinner.
“Julian?” A voice called from the head of the aisle he turned down.
“Ro!” Julian was so happy to see the man he almost dropped his groceries to hug him. This was so much better than the call he had planned. Ro was here, standing right in front of him.
“I’m so glad to see you.” Ro walked up to him looking like he was going to wrap his strong arms around Julian but suddenly stopped and squeezed his shoulder instead. “Uhm, I haven’t heard from you very much lately.”
“What are you doing tonight? I thought you usually spent Saturday nights at the youth center? I was going to call you later tonight once I thought you’d be home,” Julian rambled.
“They took a bunch of the kids on a camping trip. Originally I was going to go as a chaperone, but I backed out last minute.”
“Why?” That sounded so unlike the Ro Julian had gotten to know.
Ro lowered his eyes and fidgeted with his pant pocket. “I’ve been kind of down and didn’t want to bring that energy to an event designed for the kids to have a good time. It just didn’t seem right. Anyway, what are you up to?”
“I was going to make dinner. You know, big date and all.” Julian chuckled.
“Yeah, sure. Okay, then have a good date.” Ro turned to walk away.
“Hey, Ro, I was joking. It was a terrible joke. Look, I’m sorry. Come over for dinner. I’ve missed you.” Julian reached out and put his hand on Ro’s arm wanting to sooth any harm his avoidance had caused.
Ro regarded Julian closely before answering, “Okay, sure. As long as whatever you’re cooking isn’t as hot as your t-shirt is selling.”
Julian chuckled knowing his red t-shirt advertised Devil’s Hot Sauce, claiming it was hotter than hell. “I was going to throw together a salad with grilled chicken. Does anything sound better? It’s not like we aren’t standing in the middle of a grocery store.”
“That sounds good,” Ro replied with a smile. They quickly finished up their shopping and headed over to Julian’s.
Ro walked into Julian’s apartment and looked around. Julian was quite proud of his new decorating. There was color everywhere. He’d hung several framed movie posters around the TV and covered his beige couch with funky pillows. “Did you actually buy and then frame and then hang an advertisement for Point Break? I mean Fight Club I get and I can even appreciate the classic I Walked With a Zombie but a Reeves’ movie?”
“You’d better be teasing because I own a Matrix t-shirt and I can’t wait to see the John Wick sequel. Besides, aren’t you the one who suggested we emulate the plot from that movie? I seem to remember a conversation about ex-president masks and the 50-year storm?” Julian lifted an eyebrow playfully.
“Alright you have me there, but that’s all I’m admitting to.”
Julian turned and headed into the kitchen. “Are you starving or do you want to have a glass of wine first?”
“I’d love a glass of wine.” Ro walked into the kitchen and was immediately handed a glass of red wine.
“I’m sorry I’ve been distant lately.” Julian started.
“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Yes, I do. Especially because I want to explore other facets of our relationship and we can’t have anything but the truth if we want to start anything real, anything lasting.” Julian waited nervously for Ro to respond.
“Jules, when you stopped calling and texting I thought maybe I had pushed you too hard.”
“Absolutely not, you’ve been great. You flirted enough for me to know you were interested but never pressured me.” Julian set his glass down and walked to where Ro was leaning against the counter. He put his hand on Ro’s waist and leaned forward brushing his lips against Ro’s. It was a sweet gesture meant to reassure.
“What changed?” Ro whispered as Julian took a step back.
“Nothing. Everything.” Julian chuckled. “A couple weeks ago marked the anniversary of Greyson’s death. I was conflicted because I felt like I should have been grieving, but instead I was missing you. How I feel about you is new and scary. Everything was a jumbled mess in my head. I’m not sure how to explain.”
“It’s okay. Start wherever you want.” Ro reached over and slid his hand into Julian’s.
“The short version is I didn’t date a lot before Grey and when we got together he took over my life. I wasn’t happy and would have left him if he hadn’t died. I had a lot of guilt over wanting to leave him while everyone assumed he was my life-partner when in reality he was my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.
“I haven’t been living. My college buddy, Sammy, helped me realize that. He was the one staying with me. I told him about you.” Apparently this was the time for full confessions.
“Yeah, really?” Ro smiled shyly. “What did you say?”
“Everything. I told him you were my future, that is if you are still interested.” Julian squeezed his hand as Ro leaned in for another kiss. This one was not sweet but carnal and full of promise. Ro let go of Julian’s hand in favor of framing his face and tilting his head to exactly where he wanted. He sucked on Julian’s bottom lip briefly before sealing his lips back over Julian’s to continue the kiss. Julian’s hands gripped Ro’s waist, simplying hanging on as Ro continued the onslaught of unexpected pleasure.
“Wow, I’ll take that as a yes,” Julian panted as he took a small step back. “I think I need to start dinner otherwise we’ll never eat.”
“Good idea, even if all I’m hungry for is you,” Ro teased. “What can I do to help?”
Together they prepared dinner and ate at the table, the conversation flowing as easily as the wine.
“Want to watch a movie?” Julian suggested.
“Sure. Have anything in mind?”
“I’ve been wanting to watch Snatch.”
“What, no Johnny Utah?”
“I am an F.B.I. agent!” Julian quoted seriously.
“Are you a robot from the future too?” Ro laughed.
“What?”
“I don’t know. It just seemed like there should have been more to your declaration. Go ahead and play Snatch, Johnny. Next time we can watch Robocop or The Terminator.”
“I’ll be back.” Julian headed towards the DVDs and then turned and lunged, tackling Ro onto the sofa. They wrestled and laughed until they were out of breath.
“This is nice,” Julian commented.
Ro kissed Julian’s forehead. “Yes, it is. Now start the movie.” He playfully shoved him towards the TV. Once the movie was playing, Julian sat down in the recliner.
“Come here. You know I’m a cuddler and if you want the title of boyfriend that includes snuggles,” Ro announced, unashamed to voice his wants.
Julian moved over next to him and leaned into his side resting his head on Ro’s shoulder. “Are there many vying for the title?”
“Nope. You’re the only one I want. I like this new boldness, Jules.”
“What’s the saying? The greatest rewards come with the greatest risks? I’m tired of being lonely, of wanting to be happy but doing nothing to make that happen. Yes, I’m being open about my feelings and sweet and mushy because I don’t want to play games. Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready for the boyfriend title, but I do want to be exclusive. You’re the only one I want.” Julian kissed Ro’s temple for emphasis. “I’ve spent too much time hiding and feeling sorry for myself and if I can’t admit what I want then I don’t deserve it.”
“I can respect that. I had a rough childhood and I’m grateful for everyday I’m alive.”
“I know you’ve told me a little bit about what you went through and when you’re ready I’m here to listen to the rest.” Julian placed his hand on Ro’s chest over his heart. “Your strength inspires me to be a better person. I have to confess you are part of the reason I have embraced the changes in my life, accepting myself for me and not what I think I sh
ould be.”
There was more Julian could have said to Ro. He was humbled by Ro’s selflessness and encouraged by Ro’s easy smiles. Maybe a man with that much heart could love Julian too.
Julian woke up curled up on Ro. They had stretched out along the sofa with his head tucked under Ro’s chin and Ro’s arms securely wrapped around him. Julian couldn’t remember the last time he felt so safe and content. Ro started to wake and tightened his hold before asking what time it was.
“Late. Let’s go to bed.” Julian didn’t think he’d be saying that ever again. He wasn’t as nervous as he thought he’d be. Instead he was looking forward to sleeping next to a warm body that smelled like Ro, that was Ro.
Once inside Julian’s bedroom, Ro stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and crawled under the covers. Julian followed suit and stretched out next to him. Ro wasn’t hesitant as he pulled Julian close and palmed his cheek as he leaned in for a kiss. Julian opened for him, his tongue teasing. Ro easily rolled Julian underneath him. Ro’s weight was comforting as he blanketed Julian. Kissing him felt like coming home. Julian couldn’t believe this amazing man wanted him.
Ro’s beard tickled his skin as he tilted his head encouraging Ro to kiss down his neck. Julian’s hands roamed aimless across Ro’s clothed back. Ro continued to nip and suck on Julian’s neck. He desperately wanted Ro to mark him, to leave him with a physical reminder of what they were sharing right now. Slowly, Ro made his way back up to his lips and they continued to kiss lazily until Julian yawned into Ro’s mouth.
“I’m so sorry.” Julian was completely embarrassed. The first time he gets a hot, willing guy into bed and he can’t even stay awake.
“It’s fine, Jules. Go to sleep. We have plenty of time.” Ro rolled them so he was on his back with Julian draped partially on him. “Is this okay? Are you going to be able to sleep?”
“Yes, it’s perfect.” Julian rubbed his hand down Ro’s arm and nuzzled his cheek against Ro’s chest.
Julian woke late the next morning with Ro’s even breaths ruffling his hair. He slid his hand underneath Ro’s shirt and rubbed his furred belly. As he felt his way up, Ro stopped his progress.
“Hey, no exploring without me.” He chided and kissed Julian’s forehead. “Do you happen to have a spare toothbrush?”
Julian pulled his hand free. “Yes, in the drawer to the left of the sink. Take whatever you need, I’ve got plenty. I want to tell the dentist that I don’t need any more dental supplies. What I really need is a free cleaning.”
Ro chuckled and did a full body stretch before leaving a lounging Julian for the bathroom. After finishing up his morning routine Ro found Julian in the kitchen making breakfast. He walked up behind him and rested his chin on Julian’s shoulder. “Good morning, handsome.”
“Hungry?”
Ro hummed in affirmation and wound his arms around Julian’s waist turning his body to face him. With a sly smile Ro slowly leaned in to kiss Julian. At first it was lips meeting lips and then tongues exploring mouths until it was breathy moans and wandering hands. Julian dropped his head back as Ro kissed down his stubbled jaw and nibbled on his neck. Julian moaned as he tilted his head more to encourage Ro’s ministrations. His kisses made Julian’s skin come alive with a forgotten need, as his body heated with a desperation to be closer to Ro. His hands slid from their tight grip on the back of Ro’s shirt to the rounded muscle beneath the man’s briefs.
Ro slid his hand into Julian’s boxers and gave his hard cock a firm tug. Ro claimed Julian’s lips as he lowered his own briefs and griped his shaft along side Julian’s. They were about the same length as Ro rubbed his thumb across both their leaking slits ensuring a smooth glide as his hand pumped them. Julian tired to hold back and prolong the enjoyment of feeling his erection sliding against Ro’s. But Ro’s grip tightened and sped up causing Julian’s pleasure to erupt. Ro followed suit several jerks after. They slid to the floor in a sticky, boneless heap.
“Wow.” Julian panted. “I was not expecting that.” He pulled off his t-shirt—since it caught most of the mess—and cleaned them up.
“Too soon?” Ro asked sheepishly.
“No,”Julian answered honestly. “I haven’t given very much thought to my sexual needs, but being with you sure woke up that sleeping beast.” Julian leaned into Ro silently asking for a kiss. It was sweet, meant to reassure and maybe say thanks for the hand job. Julian pulled back, planted one more kiss on Ro’s forehead before asking, “What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”
“Not much. What about you?”
“Monthly poker game tonight.”
“Are you any good?”
Julian stood and held his hand out to help Ro up. “I can be, but we really aren’t that competitive. It’s just an excuse to get together and drink. I have an idea. How about I salvage breakfast while you see if there are any good movies playing this afternoon. I don’t need to be there until 6 tonight, so let’s enjoy the day together.”
“That sounds great.”
* * *
Julian was the first to arrive at Ollie’s for their monthly poker game. Ollie’s younger brother, Micah, answered the door. “Hey, Julian. Nice shirt.”
“Thanks.” Julian looked down at his green shirt. It said ‘Unstoppable’ above a T-Rex holding extended pinchers. “Are you staying for the game?”
“Nope. I’m on my way out. Have fun.” Micah darted past Julian to his car.
“Ollie?” Julian called as he walked through the open door.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” Ollie answered from the bedroom. Julian went into the kitchen and placed the beer he’d brought into the refrigerator.
Ollie whistled. “Nice shirt. It’s good to see you in some color again.”
“Yeah, thanks. Is Christopher joining us tonight?”
“No.”
“Good. I have a feeling he might be a card shark. I bet he’s got some secret gambling addiction and is banned from Vegas,” Julian teased.
“I highly doubt it.” Ollie snorted.
“Who’s ready to lose their money?” Brad stormed through the front door and set a bottle of bourbon on the center of the poker table. He walked into the kitchen, pulled out five tumblers and filled them with ice. A knock at the door signaled Finn and Ryland’s arrival. They quickly set up and got comfortable.
“So…” Ryland looked at Julian. “Got a new man to go with the new shirt?”
“This isn’t a new shirt,” Julian answered.
“Well, we can’t wait to meet the man who brought Julian out of his black cloud. It’s nice to see you smiling again,” Brad commented.
“I smiled before,” Julian defended.
“You force smiled before this mystery man. When are you bringing him out?” Ollie dealt the next hand.
“I haven’t even said there was a man,” Julian huffed.
“But you haven’t denied it either.” Ryland pointed out. “Is he disfigured? Or finicky like Christopher?”
“Leave my Christopher out of this or else he won’t bake for you assholes again,” Ollie threatened. Christopher loved to bake and everyone else loved to eat.
“I’m just playing, but really, who brings their own ‘for here’ mug to a coffee shop?” Ryland put up his hands in surrender.
“Speaking of,” Brad interjected and looked towards the kitchen, “are there any fresh made brownies?”
“None for you, dickweed.” Ollie looked thoughtfully at his cards.
“Stop me if you’ve heard this one.” Brad stood up. “You have to be careful not mix the dickweed with the pussy willow or else you’ll be cleaning up a lot of cum-kwat.”
There was a mixture of chuckles and boos at the table. “Wait, I’ve got one more. What’s long, hard and has cum in it?”
“I’ll feed you the brownies just to stop you from talking any more.” Ollie got up to grab them from the kitchen.
“It’s a cucumber, you dirty-minded bastards.” Brad laughed before snagging a
turtle brownie from the plate Ollie brought out.
“Now that ‘the Brad show’ has ended, when are you going to bring your man around?” Finn pointed at Julian.
“He’s just a friend.” Julian tried lying to his friends, but his slight blush gave away the truth. “Okay fine, we’re kind of dating. But I’m not ready to bring him around you idiots.”
“Why not? I mean, if he likes you and you’re our village idiot, he’s going to love us!” Brad was on roll tonight.
“Get off my nutsack! We’re taking things slow.” Julian threw his cards on the table. “I fold.”
“Invite him to my Halloween party.” Brad insisted.
“Maybe next year,” Julian mumbled.
“Alright, next year.” Brad winked at the indication that this unnamed man would be around next year. They played for a few more hours before Finn started yawning. The last hand came down to Brad and Ryland. Brad unexpectedly won and did a victory dance out the front door while hollering about everyone needing to bow down to his greatness. Julian volunteered to help clean up and was the last to leave. He thanked Ollie for hosting and pulled an envelope out of his bag and handed it over.
“What’s this?” Ollie looked at Julian before opening it.
“It’s something I thought you’d want.”
Ollie lifted the flap and slid out several photographs. “These are amazing. How?”
“I saw you guys sitting in the café when I was out with my camera. I was touched by the obvious love between you two and needed to capture it. I remember last Christmas and I’m glad you guys worked through everything.”
“Thank you.” Ollie looked at Julian and saw the longing. “You’ll find your man, someone more deserving of your love than Greyson.”