by S. E. Law
I grin.
“I know, it’s sappy. But I love romance. And I love to read, and I’ve dabbled in writing.” I shrug. “It was a crazy idea, and some days it seems impossible to run a business, but I don’t regret opening the store. It keeps me on my toes.”
Matt looks at me carefully and I think I read admiration in his eyes. I blush and look away.
“Do you think you’ll ever write your own romance book?” he asks lightly. My heart pitter-patters and I think carefully before answering.
“I’ve wanted to, for so long, but it never seemed like I had the time,” is my slow answer. “I always got one chapter in, and then gave up after life happened.”
He squeezes my hand.
“Life is always happening,” he remarks casually. “But I think you have it in you to dream up some heroes and heroines for your own book, if that’s what you want.”
My heart leaps and joy suffuses my form.
“Do you really think so?” I ask shyly.
Matt turns to look at me, and the fire burning in his blue eyes makes my heart contract sharply on its own.
“Yes,” he says. “Sweetheart, I believe in you. Everything I’ve seen so far about you, Cora, tells me that you have a book in you. Not just one book, but maybe even two or three romance novels.”
I smile brilliantly, my heart in my throat. I don’t know what I did to deserve this man, but I feel incredibly lucky to be with him.
We continue on the walk for another hour or so. The hike is relatively easy, and we take our time, ambling through dense trees and rocky paths, our conversation at turns light-hearted and serious. Before I know it, an entire day has passed in his company.
“We better start heading back,” he eventually says, his gaze turned upward toward the sky. “We don’t know how long this good weather is going to hold.”
Overhead, gray clouds are forming, an ominous promise of more storms to come. Matt and I link hands again and make our way toward the cabin. We arrive home, and I’m exhausted and yet extraordinarily happy.
The next several days together follow this same pattern – morning sex, breakfast, a walk if the weather is decent, a quick check in if the downed tree is moved, and lots of conversations. We talk about our passions, and I develop a newfound respect for Matt.
“So you always wanted to be an architect?” I ask.
“Since I was a kid. Bugged my parents to no end. They thought I should be a doctor, but I’m better with buildings than people.”
“Yeah, I don’t believe that,” I tease. “You’re good with people.”
He pulled me close and clasped his arms around me.
“I’m good with you,” he growls in my ear. “Now come on Missy,” he rasps. “It’s time for bed for bad girls.”
I let out a squeal of delight as he chases me into the bedroom, our antics ending far too pleasurably. But it wasn’t just the good things. We also talked about the bad things, and what keeps us up at night.
“No one is going to be angry that you and Marky ended the engagement,” Mark reassures me. I bite my lip.
“Yes, but they’ll have a million questions, and I don’t know how I’m going to answer them. Plus it’s not my place to tell anyone about Marky – he has to do that on his own terms.”
Matt puts a steadying hand on my own.
“Don’t then. It’s no one’s business why you two split.”
I calmed a bit under his steadying reassurance. With Matt’s guidance, I knew we’d figure out how to handle the broken engagement and the gossip that would be sure to follow. But our relationship wasn’t just about the big things. We even talked about the trivial things, which frequently left us arguing, laughing, or a combination of both.
“Mushrooms are the worst,” Matt had insisted, sticking his tongue out at me in mock disgust when he sees I’m adding them to our dinner salad.
“No way, I love mushrooms!” I counter, and hold his gaze while I grab another handful and toss them into the mix.
“They ruin everything they touch,” Matt insists. “Once, at a museum, I had this pizza that was supposed to have just a few of them on it, I thought hey, no big deal.” Matt covers his face with his hands and groans. “The entire pizza, I kid you not, was covered in hundreds of nasty little mushrooms. And they smelled just as horrible as they tasted. Haven’t eaten one since then.”
I merely laughed and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Then you’ll pull them out once the salad’s done and I’ll eat them,” I say teasingly. “It’ll work out, I promise.”
On day nine of our little cabin bubble, we take our usual walk to the main road to check on the tree removal update. As we round the final bend in the road, we each stop short.
The tree is gone, and much of the debris that had been lying about since I first came up the mountain has been swept to the sides of the road.
But if the road’s clear… I look at Matt desperately, only to find him looking reflective.
Matt and I walk back up to the cabin, each of us lost in our own thoughts. That night, over a dinner made up of various leftovers, something feels different. We don’t chat as much as we normally do, and I can tell that Matt is preoccupied.
Finally, unable to endure the silence any longer, I speak first.
“I probably need to get back to Hearts and Heroes soon. We have that visiting writer event coming up.”
Matt looks up mid-bite. “Oh?”
“Yeah. It’s not for another couple of weeks or so, but I’ve been gone a while.”
“Events do take some planning,” Matt says, giving little away.
“Yeah. Plus, I need to tell my parents about the fire. The cabin’s insured, so they’ll probably want to get it fixed up before too long. Since we come up here every summer.” Matt continues eating, brooding and silent.
“Anyway, I guess I’ll go tomorrow.”
At that, Matt looks up, a tense expression in his eyes before his face settles into a casual nonchalance. “I have a business trip too, so I guess I’ll take off too. Thank you for being a wonderful hostess, Cora.”
Well that stings. Hostess? Is that all he thinks I was? I lean back in my chair.
“Hmm.” I stab at my own dinner, sulking.
“Cora,” Matt says, his tone patient. “You knew we couldn’t just stay up here forever.”
I sigh heavily. “I know. I just didn’t think it’d all have to end so soon.”
“Well let’s not spoil our last night worrying about tomorrow.”
“You’re right,” I concede. I want to tell Matt how I feel. I’m starting to fall for him, and in fact, I have already fallen for him. But I can’t, especially knowing that in the morning our happy little bubble is going to burst.
Instead, I get up and head to the fridge. “I bought a cheesecake.”
Matt leans back in his chair and smiles. “How and when did you buy a cheesecake? I’m pretty sure that aside from the occasional bathroom break, you and I have been joined at the hip.” He raises his eyebrows with mirth.
I roll my eyes.
“No silly. I got it before I came to the cabin. When I bought the other groceries. I just forgot I had it.” I pull out the creamy dessert, placing it on the table in front of Matt.
“I love cheesecake.” Matt looks at me suspiciously. “How did you know? Stalker…”
“Ha! I love cheesecake and I bought it for myself, you know for all the wallowing I was supposed to do. You showed up uninvited, remember?” I cross my arms and put on my best mean face, but I can’t hold in a giggle.
“So tough, Cora. So tough.” Matt takes the lid off the dessert and sticks his fork directly into it. “Hmmm, strawberry.”
I sit up, aghast.
“You’re supposed to cut it!”
“Live a little.” Matt sticks his fork back into the dessert and scoops out a large bite. He holds it up to my face. “Open.”
I roll my eyes but comply, practically drooling when the sugary cake
hits my tongue. “Oh my god that’s good cheesecake. It’s so sweet.”
“I bet I know something sweeter.” With that, Matt puts down his fork and stands. Before I can even react, he’s scooping me up and kissing me hard. “I think it’s bedtime, sweet girl. But first,” he nods his head in the direction of the dessert, “bring the cake. I want to eat it off your naked body.”
With Matt carrying me, and me carrying the cake, we make our way up the stairs to our well-used bed. That night, we make love as if it’s the last time.
It’s tender, passionate, and sensational. Through our bodies, we try to say what we haven’t yet been able to say with our words. Each kiss tells the other how much we long for the other; each touch is our desire to never let go.
We fall asleep in one another’s arms, unable to be apart even to rest, fearful of what the morning will bring. But too soon, it’s daytime, and our goodbye begins. It’s bittersweet, to say the least.
We stand in the doorway of the little cabin, holding hands and staring out into the woody forest beyond.
“Is it silly if I say that I don’t want to leave?” I look up at Matt, squinting against the bright sunshine.
“It’s not silly. But we can’t stay.” He gestures toward the trees and road beyond. “Our real lives are back in Blue Mountain.”
“I know.” I sigh deeply. “But for the first time for a long time, I feel whole again. Like the world is sharper, clearer, and like I know who I really am. And I don’t want that feeling to go away.”
He doesn’t answer right away, merely staring off into the smoky mountains.
“I know sweetheart,” he says finally in a low voice, squeezing my hand. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”
But I’m impatient, and press the issue.
“So what do we do?” I shield my eyes against the sun as I again look up at Matt, trying to memorize every detail of his handsome face.
“What do you mean?” He shifts his gaze from the tree line back to me, his blue eyes distant.
“If we see each other around town? Like at an event. Or the movies. What do we do?”
“I don’t know.” He frowns slightly, and I can tell he’s also been pondering this question. “Why don’t we just play it by ear?”
Ouch, I think to myself, but out loud I agree as casually as possible. “Sure. That’s a good idea. No need to overcomplicate anything.”
Matt nods and then lifts my hand to his mouth, kissing the palm lightly.
“Okay then. Goodbye, Cora. Take care of yourself.”
I swallow, trying to choke back sudden tears. “You, too, Matt.”
Matt shoots me one last, searching look and then strides from the porch to his car. I watch him load his bag, my eyes misting at the sight.
Don’t go, I want to beg him. Please stay with me. But I bite my tongue. Slowly Matt turns the car around, waves one last goodbye, and begins the long drive down the mountain.
As the vehicle fades from sight into the steep road, I remain standing on the porch for another moment. I’m not ready to pop our idyllic bubble, to leave these beautiful memories behind.
But all good things must come to an end. Tears well in my eyes and I swallow thickly. It bugs me that our goodbye didn’t seem to bother Matt that much, but I decide not to dwell on it as I pack up the last few items and put them in the car.
I take one final look around the cabin, the place that was supposed to be my sanctuary but became so much more. The fire damage is still severe, but I almost forget about it as I think about the many happy moments I spent with Matt over the last week: board games in the kitchen, lovemaking in the bedroom, late night talks on the porch.
I sigh and pull the front door closed, locking up the cabin and the memories of my affair with Matt Harrison.
A few moments later, I’m making my own way down the mountain. I roll down all the windows in the hatchback, grateful for the cool morning breeze.
Wow, that storm really did some damage, I muse as I note the many fallen trees, washed out mountainsides, and fallen power lines. I smile, grateful for those few days of torrential rain and that fortuitous, fallen tree, because it gave me more time with the man that I love.
You’re really going to have to stop thinking about him, I scold myself.
I try to occupy my mind on the long drive by thinking about the bookstore.
I’ll definitely need to do inventory, and I hope Hadley confirmed the details for the author’s visit.
Feeling motivated to see the store and my parents, I drive a little faster toward Blue Mountain.
Besides, I may run into Matt around town, so it’s not so bad. We’ll figure it out, like he said.
Finally, I cruise into Blue Mountain, the little town looking as charming as ever. There are still tears in my eyes, and my heart contracts a bit painfully. I had my romantic week at the cabin, but now, who knows what lays ahead?
16
Cora
Two weeks back in Blue Mountain, and I think it’s safe to admit that my initial enthusiasm to return to normal life has waned.
I stretch a little from my perch on the ladder. I’m at my store, dusting the top shelves in preparation for our visiting author’s talk. Hadley insisted that no one could see the top shelves so what’s the point, but I didn’t wanted to tell her that I just need the distraction.
For the past thirteen days, I’ve come into the bookstore, eager to get back to a routine. And for the past thirteen days, I’ve just as eagerly waited for Matt to call me.
My ears perk up at the sound of the store phone ringing.
“Hearts and Heroes, this is Hadley,” my employee chirps. I strain to hear the conversation, leaning off the ladder a little. “Hi Mrs. Cleary.”
My heart sinks. It’s just a customer. I finish dusting the shelves and slowly descend the ladder just as Hadley finishes the call.
“No problem. We look forward to seeing you at the event.” Hadley hangs up the phone and rolls her eyes in mock frustration. “That’s like the third time she’s confirmed the date and time.”
“She is ninety years old.” I offer and shrug.
“True,” my friend says. When I don’t respond, Hadley keeps chattering away. “So I confirmed that the chairs are going to be delivered Friday, and your mom dealt with the caterers while you were away.” I tune out her excessive babble, unable to concentrate.
Why hasn’t Matt called me?
I distract myself with reorganizing the books on the front table display. Hadley keeps chirping along, oblivious to the fact that I’m only listening with one ear. “And that newest cover – the guy is a god!” Hadley squeals delightedly and I glance up at the book cover she’s shoving in my face.
“Sexy.” I acknowledge half-heartedly, not really caring for the blonde, shirtless man pawing at a half-naked woman who appears to be busting out of her dress.
“He’s soooo sexy and I heard that the model they used is a real one and he was just working as a personal trainer when bam! He was scouted by a photographer...” But again, I tune out Hadley.
Maybe he isn’t calling because the whole thing was a mistake. I almost crumple with embarrassment. I mean, that is weird, right? That I hooked up with my ex’s dad?
Who does that? I ask myself, suddenly feeling angry and ashamed for giving into the temptation.
I finish arranging the books and head to another bookshelf.
“And oh, oh my god, do you know who else is coming?” Hadley follows me to the bookshelf, clearly not taking the hint that I don’t feel chatty. “That redheaded snot from your engagement party, the one Marky’s dad was all over.” Marky’s dad… wait, Matt?
I perk up, suddenly eager to listen to my gregarious best friend.
“So apparently she’s friends with that girl who – oh my god, Cora, I’m so sorry.” Hadley stops talking immediately, her sweet face completely red. “I didn’t mean to bring up your engagement.”
“No, go on. What were you going to say? About Marky�
�s dad?”
But my friend doesn’t hear.
“I am such a jerk. Here I am just blabbering away and I bring up Marky like that. I wasn’t thinking. I know this is a horrible time for you.” Hadley looks so distraught that I can’t help but smile wanly.
“Hads, I’m okay, really.”
My friend looks worried.
“But you’ve been so mopey these past two weeks, and you keep finding all these silly projects to distract yourself with.” At my raised eyebrows, Hadley places her hands on her petite hips. “I’m your best friend, so I know when you’ve got something on your mind.”
Part of me wants to tell my best friend everything – that Marky is gay, that I slept with his dad, and that I’m in love with Matt Harrison.
In love with Matt? I pause a moment, caught off guard by the realization. I’ve known it for a while now, but for some reason, when I articulate the words, even to myself, it makes my heart race.
“Spill, Cora.” Hadley is looking at me expectantly, and I suddenly have the urge to throw up.
“Honestly Hadley,” I take a deep breath, hoping the sense of nausea will pass, “I’m okay. I’m going to be mopey for a while, but I’m done with Marky and that whole relationship. Does it suck? Yes. Am I ready to talk about it? Not yet.”
Nope, still feeling a little sick.
“Okay…” Hadley looks pouty and I can’t help but laugh at her.
“Hads, you’re a wonderful friend, and when I process it all, I’ll come to you.”
“Alright, bestie. I’ll be patient. Just don’t feel like you’re alone, okay?” With a smile, Hadley goes back to the front of the store to greet customers.
I head toward the part of the store we’ve been setting up in anticipation of the author’s reading. I want to stop thinking about Matt and the rights and wrongs of our relationship. There are stacks of boxes filled with our visiting author’s latest romance novel that need to be displayed. I cut open the first box and nearly gasp. The hero on the cover looks just like Matt! Dark, black hair, deep blue eyes, and rippling muscles.