Someone Else's Baby

by Someone Else's Baby (retail) (epub)

  Chapter Forty-Two

  In the morning, I dropped Alice at Mum’s and took a bus to the radio station at the edge of town. Lucy greeted me in the foyer in a yellow version of the same suit she was wearing last time.

  ‘I’m about to go on air, but I’ll see you in the studio in about fifteen minutes. I’ve made a list of questions, I thought you might like to look it over and think about your answers. I don’t want to spring anything on you.’ She gave me her practised smile.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said.

  ‘Tilly will look after you until it’s time.’

  A woman in a smart jumpsuit stepped forward and showed me to a lounge area with a coffee vending machine.

  ‘Help yourself,’ she said.

  I pressed a button for a black coffee and looked over the list. The questions seemed reasonable enough. I paced around the room, trying to calm my nerves. I checked my Twitter account. My tweet about being on the radio today to launch #ChangeUKLawOnSurrogacy had already received twenty likes and six retweets.

  Five minutes before I was due to go on, Tilly took me through to the small bright studio and gave me a glass of water. I sat quietly on a stool opposite Lucy, who was wearing headphones and talking into a large mic surrounded by panels of buttons and flashing lights.

  ‘Next up, we have Charlotte, a kind-hearted young woman who had a dream of being a surrogate for a childless couple. Unfortunately for her, it didn’t all quite go to plan. Her experience is a cautionary tale for any one of you out there thinking of having a baby for someone else.’

  Lucy pressed a button which I guessed was for an advert break. She pulled off her headphones.

  ‘How are you feeling? Not too nervous I hope?’ She drank a mouthful of tea.

  ‘A bit. I’ll be okay.’ I sipped my water. My hand was shaking.

  ‘Great. Try and relax.’ She put her headphones back on. ‘Welcome to you, Charlotte, thanks for coming in today to share your incredible story.’

  ‘Thank you for asking me.’ My stomach dropped into free fall. I tried not to think about the thousands of people listening, including Mum, who I told this morning. Instead I pictured Steve, cheering me on.

  ‘Some of you may remember Charlotte from a few months ago, when I spoke to her during our mother and baby clinic special. Would you like to recap for us, Charlotte?’

  ‘Er, yes, I was about seven months pregnant then, with twins, which I was having for a couple in their late forties. We met on a surrogacy website. The wife had suffered many miscarriages. I already have a daughter of my own and wanted to help them.’

  Lucy leaned into the mic. ‘Did you choose them or did they choose you?’

  ‘They approached me, answering my post on a forum saying I’d like to be a surrogate for a couple who couldn’t have a baby of their own. It’s illegal to advertise yourself as a surrogate, so it’s something people tend to drop in casual conversation. The woman then messaged me privately and we got chatting. My partner and I met up with them and we got along straight away. She immediately reminded me of my mum and all the pain she’d been through. We really clicked.’

  ‘Did it take you long to get pregnant?’

  ‘Yes it did. Not until the third try. I wasn’t expecting that.’

  ‘But that pregnancy didn’t last?’

  ‘That’s right. I miscarried at about six weeks.’

  ‘But you wanted to try again? I take my hat off to you, Charlotte!’

  ‘I didn’t at first. I wasn’t sure I could go through it. I’d had terrible morning sickness and, worse than that, it was churning up all my emotions about my mum’s losses.’

  ‘But you did try again and this time you found out you were expecting twins. How did the new parents react to the news?’

  ‘They were delighted. I was a bit worried they might not want two babies. We’d not discussed multiple births, I suppose because it was unlikely to happen.’

  ‘So what made you want to become a surrogate in the first place?’

  I hesitated. Mum was listening to this. ‘I’m the firstborn but my mum had several stillbirths after she had me. At the end of it all, my parents split up.’

  ‘That’s quite a traumatic experience for anyone. How old were you?’

  ‘I was five when she had her third and fourteen the final time. Dad left when I was sixteen.’ I twisted the edge of my top around my index finger.

  ‘That’s very young. How do you think the experience affected you?’

  ‘My nan looked after me a lot back then because Mum wasn’t around much. She cried a lot, shut herself away. I missed her a lot. Each time it was quite far along, seven, eight months, so it was traumatic to lose them at such a late stage. I promised myself that one day I would have a baby for a woman like her. I saw a programme about surrogacy on TV. The intended mother’s joy when she was given her new baby really stuck with me. I wished someone could have done that for Mum. When I was expecting my daughter, I met a surrogate at prenatal class. After talking to her, I knew I really wanted to do it.’ I coughed, my throat had gone dry. I drank some water. I hadn’t intended to give anywhere so much personal detail.

  ‘And how does your mum feel about you doing this amazing thing for a childless couple, in her name, so to speak?’

  I hesitated. ‘She’s not keen to be honest.’

  ‘Ah that’s a shame. Has she said why?’

  ‘She sees it as me giving away her grandchildren.’

  ‘Oh dear, that’s a tricky one, isn’t it? Because you are the biological mother of the twins, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘So can you tell us briefly how that works?’

  I sighed, I really didn’t want to go into this. ‘I used the sperm from the intended father to impregnate myself artificially.’

  ‘And is that still the most common method?’

  ‘I believe so.’

  ‘So how was the pregnancy after I spoke to you?’

  ‘It was much more difficult than I thought it would be. I breezed through my pregnancy with my daughter, so it was quite a shock.’ I told her briefly about the health problems I’d had.

  ‘How about the birth?’

  ‘It was all a bit of a rush in the end because I developed pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure went sky-high so the twins had to be born by caesarean.’

  ‘That must have been a scary time for you and your partner. I understand that pre-eclampsia can threaten the life of the mother and baby. How did he cope with the thought of possibly losing you, especially as the babies aren’t his?’

  Ouch, that was a bit low. She wasn’t sticking to the list any more.

  I frowned at her, but her face didn’t change and she left another gap I was expected to fill.

  ‘It was difficult for all of us. My priority was to bring the babies safely into the world.’

  ‘And you certainly did that. A boy and a girl.’ Lucy smiled. Was she still on my side?

  ‘Yes. I had to stay in hospital with them for a week.’ I sat back in my stool and crossed my arms. My experience, as she called it, was a juicy story for her.

  ‘That must have been hard for you, spending time with the babies you had promised to give away.’

  ‘It was, I won’t lie.’

  ‘Isn’t it more usual for a baby to be handed straight over to its new parents?’

  ‘Yes it is, but this couple wanted it to be private, so we didn’t tell the hospital. I was lucky to spend those first days with the twins.’

  ‘But wasn’t there a danger that you’d bond with them? Did you consider changing your mind about giving them up?’ She was not going to let up. Should I cut and run?

  I leaned closer to the mic, staring directly at Lucy. ‘No. I knew the deal from day one.’

  ‘And it was a good deal, wasn’t it, Charlotte? The intended parents paid you thousands of pounds, much more than a surrogate would normally get for expenses.’

  ‘It was a generous amount of money.’ I should have known we
’d get on to this.

  ‘Some might say you sold your babies, Charlotte.’ She picked up a pencil from the desk and leaned back in her stool, a smug look on her face. ‘What would you say to those people?’ She pointed the pencil at me.

  Was that really what the audience thought too? I frowned at her, speechless. ‘I… I’d say they’re wrong. I didn’t sell them, because that’s illegal in the UK. We were paid a fair amount for expenses. We haven’t received the final payment, which is partly why I’m here, to warn people about the risks of becoming a surrogate.’

  ‘Can you tell us how much money you have received?’

  ‘Fifteen thousand pounds,’ I lied.

  Lucy gave a low whistle. She tucked the pencil behind her ear. ‘That’s a fair whack, as my old dad would say. And what’s the average amount?’

  ‘Between about eight and fifteen.’

  ‘So, in hindsight, do you think it’s all been worth it?’

  ‘Yes and no.’ Any minute now I was going to grab that pencil and stab her in the arm. If only people knew how much I’d wrestled with that question in the last few weeks. The fact was, we had been promised a lot more money than we needed for expenses, so we’d sold our twins, hadn’t we? If anything bad happened to them, I wasn’t sure I would be able to forgive myself.

  ‘No because the couple you had the babies for have cut you out of their lives?’

  ‘They said we could stay in touch, it was part of our agreement. This is one of the things I came to talk about.’ I jabbed her list with my finger.

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘When a surrogate makes an agreement with the intended parents, it’s not actually legally binding. I think people should know that if they’re thinking of becoming a surrogate or are looking for one.’

  ‘I see, but you’ve signed a parental order, giving the new parents full rights to the twins?’

  ‘Yes, and that is legally binding, but what I’m saying is that any other arrangements about contact with the child, or money agreed for expenses, doesn’t matter in the eyes of the law.’ I carried on before she could stop me, ‘I’ve launched a campaign on Twitter this morning to get the law updated. It’s not changed since it first came in, in 1985. Just search for the hashtag, Change UK Law on Surrogacy, all one word.’

  ‘And therein lies the cautionary tale, dear listener.’ Lucy waved her hand in a circle, trying to wind things up. But I hadn’t finished what I had come to say.

  ‘Do your research. Check who the intended parents are and take time getting to know them. Be prepared for them to go back on any agreement, such as the expenses amount they agreed, or if they promised you could continue to see the baby.’

  ‘You sound upset, Charlotte. Do you feel these people have let you down, betrayed you even?’

  I nodded. ‘I do. I was as careful about everything as I could be. I grew close to the intended mother. I believed we were friends, that we understood each other. I’m still hoping they’ll get in touch.’ I linked my fingers.

  ‘But as you’ve given up your parental rights in the eyes of the law, surely it’s the new parents’ prerogative not to want further contact with the birth mother?’

  ‘Yes, of course, but I’m upset because they specifically agreed to keep in contact. Now I’m never going to see the twins grow up.’ I rubbed the side of my throbbing head.

  ‘Well, thank you, Charlotte, it’s been enlightening.’ Lucy pressed a button and took off her headphones.

  ‘You didn’t stick to half these questions.’ I chucked her list across the table.

  ‘I wanted to engage the listeners, give them a bit of background and once we started I didn’t want to interrupt the momentum.’

  ‘Bullshit.’ I stood up.

  ‘Would you like to appeal to the new parents to come forward if they or someone they know is listening?’

  Sly cow. ‘I suppose so.’ I sat back down.

  * * *

  When I left the studio, I stopped outside to steady myself against the door. Making a sensational story out of my desperate situation. What about the babies? The innocents in all this. I didn’t even know if they were being properly looked after. I made the mistake of checking Twitter. Amongst many supportive tweets, the trolls were out in force:

  @LUVya4evva

  She sold her soul for less

  @MyMilkShakes

  Selling babies is NOT smart, law or no law

  @dreamzy89

  People like you make me sick, pretending it’s about helping someone, when it’s actually about you making fast cash from innocent babies

  I switched my phone off, my fingers trembling.

  On the way home, I called in at Mum’s to pick Alice up.

  ‘I suppose you heard it all,’ I said, following her down the hallway to the living room.

  ‘You know my views.’ She picked up a thriller facing down on the sofa and dog-eared a page before closing it.

  ‘Hello sweetheart.’ I wiped apple and banana from Alice’s mouth, then lifted her out of the high chair, kissing her pink cheeks.

  ‘I think you should go to the police.’ Mum turned down the TV.

  ‘What can they do?’

  ‘You need to find out where the twins are.’

  ‘But we’re not the legal parents any more.’

  ‘These people owe you a lot of money. They’ve cheated you, Charlotte. How can they be trusted with children? What if something terrible has happened to them?’

  I did not need my mother trying to prove she was right all along, especially after the experience I’d just had.

  ‘I said there was something funny about them, didn’t I?’

  ‘Leave it, Mum.’

  ‘Especially the man, Malcolm wasn’t it? I can spot a roving eye a mile off.’

  ‘What?’ I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I stuffed Alice’s chubby hand in the arm of her coat.

  ‘Giving me the eye he was.’ She planted her knuckles on her hips.

  ‘I really have to go, Mum.’ I pulled the coat around Alice’s shoulders and did up the top button, not bothering to put her other arm in. I noticed a few chocolatey fingermarks on the beige leather sofa and hoped they’d wipe off or I’d be in trouble. ‘Thanks for having Alice, Mum, got to dash.’

  In the car I laid my head on the wheel. Mum was right, anything could have happened to the twins, and it was all my fault.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  When I reached home, Steve was already sitting in front of his laptop. The aroma of vinegar and salty chips filled the room.

  ‘You’re back early,’ I said, putting Alice down on her play mat.

  His eyes didn’t leave the screen. A takeaway bag sat on the kitchen counter unopened.

  ‘Everything okay?’ I moved closer, not wanting to know what he was reading, but at the same time desperate for answers.

  His shoulders slumped. ‘Not really.’ He swung round and took my hands, examining them for a second before snagging my eyes with his. ‘We’ve had another reply.’

  ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’

  He shook his head and let go of my hands. ‘She’s not the only one.’

  I frowned at him and squinted at the screen, blinking so much the words moved.

  ‘Two other women say they recognise Malcolm as the intended father of their babies.’ He turned back to the screen.

  ‘What? Are they weirdos copying each other?’

  ‘No. They’ve messaged separately.’

  ‘That’s insane.’ I shivered.

  ‘They all know him with different names and different wives.’

  I’d never seen Steve look so shocked, his face ashen.

  ‘Do you believe them?’

  He nodded.

  ‘It would explain how he got Brenda’s name wrong and why she took it so badly.’ I pulled up a chair next to him. ‘What do they say?’

  He clicked on a name and it opened half a page of text. ‘Same sort of thing. This one here says the intended mother
had red hair. She managed to take a sneaky photo of them too. It’s a bit blurry, but it looks like Malcolm, doesn’t it?’

  I peered at the image, trying to latch on to something familiar. There they were, the bright white teeth, black hair. ‘Definitely not Brenda though, she’s a much slimmer build. What does this actually mean? Do you think Brenda knows about these other women?’ I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat.

  ‘Who knows. Could be some sort of cult.’

  ‘Really? But why the different names?’

  He shook his head. ‘Both mentioned seeing a woman following them. I think we should go to the police.’

  ‘And say what, we signed our twins over to their new parents but they’re not answering the phone? And we think a random woman is following us? They’ll have a good laugh at that. I haven’t seen her since we handed over Rose and Robert.’

  ‘OK, so what about the money they owe us and these other babies with different mothers?’

  ‘We can’t prove anything. I think the only way we’ll find out the truth is if we drive to Orkney and confront them.’

  He sighed. ‘You know how far it is, don’t you?’

  I took two plates out of the cupboard and dished up the fish and chips. ‘Can we do it so close to Christmas?’

  ‘Probably.’

  ‘We must try and find the twins. I won’t wait around any longer.’

  I passed him his dinner. We ate in silence, the pair of us reflected in the grey TV screen. Me chewing a piece of fish, Steve dipping chips in tomato ketchup. Looking at us like this, no one would have a clue what we were going through. If this were happening on TV, in a soap, we’d have been screaming at each other by now.

  ‘I heard you on the radio. She was a bit rough on you.’ Steve wiped his plate clean with the last couple of chips and stuffed them in his mouth.

  ‘I suppose a lot of people will think we did it for the money.’

  ‘But we’re not the ones who’ve been conning people.’ He sank back into the sofa. ‘Whatever you think, Brenda must have been in on it too.’

  ‘But she was genuinely upset when I miscarried.’ I handed Alice a couple of chips and a piece of cod. ‘Did these other women say they were paid well too?’