Breaking Boundaries

by M. A. Lee

  “Sure,” I replied, sitting on the other end of the sofa.

  “You know you don’t have to sit so far away.” Cole joked as he held the remote and began searching the television for something to watch.

  “I know, just giving you some space.” I laughed, scooting an inch closer to Cole.

  Laughing, Cole pulled me closer to him so that my arms were now touching his side. I glanced down as I became very aware of how close our bodies were. Being this close to Cole made me uncomfortable, but in a good way.

  “You know,” he asked, as he stopped flipping through the channels and landed on an episode of COPS. “You look really cute tonight,” he said, as he noticed my jeans and sweatshirt. I could tell he was poking fun at me.

  “Shut up,” I yelled as I punched him in the side. It was crazy how quickly I could make up my mind that Cole and I were not good for each other, then the next minute he could so easily draw me back to him like nothing had ever happened.

  “Oh no, it’s on now.” Cole laughed as he threw the remote on the ground and climbed on top of me. He pinned my arms down with only one of his arms and began tickling me with the other. I couldn’t stop from laughing. I hated to be tickled, because I was so ticklish. I fought underneath him, begging for him to let me go. He leaned in, our lips only inches apart as he watched my face light up with laughter. I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed that hard.

  Still in his grasp, Cole stopped tickling me and tilted his head, a small smile appearing. His eyes bore into mine, searching for something we both knew was there.

  “You are beautiful when you laugh,” he said, his voice serious.

  I squirmed under him, and he let me go, but he still was lying on top of me. I tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear that had fallen from my ponytail during our scuffle. I tried to tuck my face under, embarrassed by his compliment.

  “Don’t do that,” he said, cupping my face in his hands. “Don’t look away when I say nice things to you. You deserve to hear nice things.” He said still peering into my eyes.

  “Okay,” was all I was able to say. I felt my breathing hitch as I closed my eyes for a brief moment. Biting my lip, I tried to control myself.

  “You really make this friends thing difficult,” he said, sitting up and pushing himself away from me and back against the sofa.

  “Me?” I asked.

  “Yes. You are funny, and smart, and beautiful. We could be good together, if it wasn’t for the whole friends thing.”

  Sighing, I knew this would happen. I knew I should never had let Cole in. We had a chemistry that was undeniable. We had fun together. But for me, that was all it could be. I wasn’t ready to let someone else have my heart. It was still in tiny pieces and I knew I wouldn’t survive another break.

  “You wouldn’t want to date me,” I laughed.

  “Maybe not, you seem pretty high maintenance to me. Plus, you could probably kick my ass if you wanted to. He paused and looked at me. “But I do want to kiss you.” He stated flatly, all trace of humor gone.

  “I am a terrible kisser.” I whispered, watching his perfect lips. I bit my bottom lip as I struggled to contain myself. My urges were telling me to pull him to me and kiss him, to never let him go.

  “Maybe I should be the one to decide if that is true.” He whispered back, his eyes now focused on my lips.

  “Okay.” I replied, managing a smile through my overwhelming desire.

  His mouth twisted in a deliciously mischievous smile as he scanned my face. Our lips, now inches apart, quivered as he inched closer to me. He tipped my chin up, so that I was forced to look up at him. The move alone was so sensual and devastatingly wicked. I couldn’t help but give in to his wants. “You know this will be the worst kiss ever,” he whispered in a husky voice, placing his hand on the back of my neck.

  My body began to tremble and my pulse quickened as what we were about to do raced through my mind. His lips softly brushed against mine, taking my breath away in an instant. He began by slowly nibbling on my lower lip, a move that had caused me to groan with pleasure and die of embarrassment all at the same time. I had expected the kiss to be quick and rough. We had discussed this. This kiss would be a way to prove that we had no chemistry, that we were not meant to be, and that there was no possible way we could ever be a couple. Now, as his lips were sweetly on mine, those thoughts were erased from my mind. All I could think about was how delicious he tasted, almost like vanilla and spices. The kiss began slow, almost soothing before turning fast and intense. He parted my lips with his tongue and as he invaded my mouth, our tongues became entwined and danced together in a sensual rhythm. My knees began to buckle underneath me, and I was silently thankful that I was sitting down. My heart was racing so fast now, I was sure he could hear the fast paced rhythm beating against my now quivering chest. I began to run my hands through his mass of wild hair as the need to touch him took control. His hands moved down my waist and traveled to various regions of my body. I was becoming an exploration to him as he carefully caressed every inch of my throbbing body. The heat between us could have sparked a wild fire as our hands and bodies seemed to move together as though we were in tune with one another.

  Suddenly, the kiss ended as he separated our lips and sat back against the couch. Panting and trying to catch my breath, I opened my eyes, which I hadn’t until that moment, realized had been closed. Sighing, I sat still, almost afraid to move and ruin whatever this moment was. Cole just scanned my face, watching my expression closely as he smiled a delicious smile.

  “See,” he began, half laughing as he spoke. “I told you that kiss would suck.”

  Adjusting myself on the couch, I sat up straighter and tried to act like that kiss hadn’t just rocked my entire world. Finding my voice, I finally opened my mouth and began to speak.

  “Yeah, you were right. That kiss was terrible.” I smiled, even though I desperately wanted to pull him back to me and kiss him again. I knew the situation and the reason behind the kiss. We were just friends, barely that. I couldn’t stand Cole. He was arrogant, secretive, and stubborn. He was everything I hated in a man all wrapped up in a beautiful package.

  Somehow though, I knew I was only fooling myself and had just made the biggest mistake of my life. That kiss didn’t suck, in fact, it was possibly the best kiss in the history of kisses. In only a few short moments, while our lips were locked and our breathing was synced, he had stolen my soul and my heart. He captured everything I was trying to hide from him and he took it without warning. I was in way over my head and I knew, no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to just be his friend.

  8

  Two Years Ago

  “I can’t get a hold of Brody. I think I will just drive over to his apartment and make sure he is ok,” I said to Lauren as I grabbed my car keys and walked toward our front door. I had been on edge all day as I tried numerous times to call and text his cell phone.

  “He’s been doing that a lot lately hasn’t he?” Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Feeling myself growing defensive, I snapped back at Lauren. “What does that mean?”

  It wasn’t a secret that Lauren didn’t like Brody. But, I didn’t like the fact that my best friend wasn’t supporting my relationship.

  Shaking her head, Lauren was not fazed by my sudden outburst. “Come on Mel. It is weird he used to call you all of the time. Now, he hardly answers your calls and is always busy. You two are getting married soon. Don’t you think he should be a little bit more open to you?”

  I didn’t like what Lauren was implying. Anger seeped through my veins as I fought back the nasty words I wanted to scream at her. Lauren didn’t understand. She had never been in love before. She used guys then threw them away like they were garbage. Guys were meaningless objects to her. She couldn’t see that a real relationship was work, hard work.

  “I don’t know what you are trying to say, but I don’t like your tone. Brody is a good man. He is working hard to
impress the partners at the law firm he is interning at. You just don’t understand,” I sighed.

  “Fine,” Lauren said, as she walked back to her bedroom and slammed the door with such force, it caused some of our pictures to fall from the wall.

  Leaving the apartment, I felt my stomach drop as I thought about what she had said. My gut was turning against me and starting to get that painful nausea feeling you get when your heart is telling you something is not right. Ignoring the feeling, I drove to Brody’s apartment hoping he could explain how busy he was and prove to both Lauren and my now conflicted heart that everything was still perfect between us.

  As I parked my car in the guest parking lot at Brody’s apartment complex, I spotted a familiar car. Why would Alice’s car be here? Other than Brody, she didn’t know anyone else who lived here. Walking at first, I found myself picking up speed as I began sprinting toward Brody’s apartment door. Once I reached my destination, I placed the key Brody had given me into the keyhole and opened the door. I paused before pushing the door open, willing myself to continue. It was as if I had large chains weighing me down. I had been in such a rush to get to Brody and now, my body seemed paralyzed and unwilling to move ahead. Feeling my body tense, I tried to ignore the growing fear that was overwhelming me in that moment.

  Suddenly, a bolt of electricity rushed through me as I found the courage to push through the door and into the apartment. Once inside, I spotted the wine glasses first. I stopped and sighed, realizing Brody had prepared a romantic evening for us and that was why he hadn't been answering my calls. I began to slowly walk toward the bedroom, I just knew Brody would be in there waiting for me. However, as I came closer to the door, I heard voices and my heart stopped beating. In my mind, I knew that those voices belonged to Brody and Alice. I knew they were together in a way they shouldn't be, but my heart was screaming it wasn’t true. As I barged through the bedroom door, everything became a whirlwind of sounds and images as I spotted Alice and Brody intertwined in the bed I had planned to share with Brody as husband and wife. I felt my heart drop to the floor and my life end in that very moment.

  “What are you doing?” I screamed as I began rushing around the apartment.

  Scrambling to gather clothes and cover themselves, Brody and Alice began shouting words at me that I couldn’t seem to comprehend. In that moment, I wanted to curl into a ball and die in the corner of the room. I wanted to vanish into the oblivion and disappear. I wanted to wake up from this terrible nightmare and be wrapped in Brody’s arms as he assured and comforted me that it was only a dream.

  For some people the thought of hell would be losing a loved one or drowning in a raging river. For me, hell on Earth was this moment as I watched my fiancé and best friend destroy all of my faith in people and break my heart into a million shattered pieces.

  “Melanie, let me explain,” Brody cried out as he wrapped the bed sheet around his waist.

  The act alone made me begin to gag as I felt the vomit seeping up my throat. “Get away from me,” I cried out as I turned and tried to rush out of his bedroom.

  Not paying attention, I walked right into the doorframe, almost knocking myself over. I had to get out of there. I had to get away from Brody and Alice.

  “Stop, Melanie. Please,” Alice yelled as she threw a shirt over her head and stumbled behind me.

  There was no other way to describe this than utterly earth shattering and heart breaking. I knew I was running, but I couldn’t feel anything. My body had grown numb and I wasn’t aware of any of my movements or thoughts. My body went straight into fight and flight mode and I had to escape this terrifying and sickening place.

  As I rushed to get into my car, I could hear footsteps inching closer to me. Alice jumped into the car beside me and I could feel the fear and hatred spark out of me like fire. In that moment, I felt like I could kill her.

  9

  “What are you doing for Halloween?” Cole asked as we sat on my living room sofa waiting for Lauren and Isaac to finish getting ready. It seemed as if Lauren and I always found ourselves at Isaac’s house or Isaac and Cole were at our apartment hanging out. I couldn’t even remember what I used to do before we met them. I guess I spent most of my time either alone or following Lauren around like a lost puppy. Wow, that life seemed like a lifetime ago.

  “What, are you like twelve?” I playfully asked.

  Throwing my legs on his lap, I wiggled around on the sofa until I found myself comfortable. Since Cole and I were friends only, I had found it much easier to relax around him. Don’t get me wrong, his touch still sent shots of adrenaline through my body and I had to fight every urge in my body to reach out and kiss him, but I was winning my internal battle.

  I had dressed in a pair of super soft dark gray leggings and an over-sized purple sweatshirt. We were watching some old scary movie with terrible acting and side effects. The more we watched, the film seemed more like a comedy then a gory horror flick. Cole and I laughed at every dramatic scene, making fun of the characters and their terrible acting.

  “Oh shut up,” he joked back. “Seriously, there is going to be a lot of parties going on and besides, who doesn’t love Halloween?” It was cute watching him argue with me.

  “I don’t know,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t really have any plans.” Which, unfortunately for me, was the norm. Ever since Brody and I had broken up, I had been excluded from most parties. I guess everyone blamed me for what happened to Alice.

  “I think Isaac wants to have some type of Halloween party at his house. He wants everyone to dress up in cheesy costumes. Maybe we could go as some type of pair or couple?” he asked, his eyes focused on the television screen.

  I turned and looked at him, noticing that he seemed nervous for some reason. “Yeah, that could be fun. But maybe we shouldn’t dress alike, I mean, isn’t that for couples?” I asked, trying to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t want to sound like one of those girls.

  Shaking his head, he squeezed my ankles that were still positioned on his lap. “Nah. It would be fun. Besides, we are pretty much an old married couple anyway. We hang out all the time and we never have sex.” He joked, trying to hide a laugh behind a naughty smile.

  Sitting up, I punched him in the arm. “Hey.” I yelled, biting my lip so I wouldn’t smile.

  At that moment, Lauren and Isaac walked out of Lauren’s room interrupting our playful session. Lauren’s hair was messy in the back and Isaac wore a smirk that showed they had been up to something naughty. Noticing my stare, Cole turned to watch Lauren and Isaac strut down the hall toward the living room. A wide grin appeared on his face and I instantly knew that meant trouble.

  Letting out a loud laugh, Cole began taunting them. “What have you all been doing?” he asked as he poked Isaac in the stomach when he walked by the couch.

  Smacking his hand away, Isaac tried to compose himself and keep a straight face. “Don’t worry about what we were doing.” His tone was sharp and direct, and I could tell that Cole had succeeded in getting under Isaac’s skin.

  Making kissing noises, Cole continued to bug them. Lauren just smiled, clearly amused while Isaac’s face grew redder, reflecting his prude embarrassment.

  “Leave them alone Cole,” I said as I pulled him back down on the couch. He had stood on his knees and was trying to grab at Isaac, who was growing angrier by the second.

  “Yeah Cole,” Isaac added. “Listen to your girlfriend,” he laughed.

  “I am not his girlfriend,” I remarked, trying my hardest not to look at Cole.

  “Whatever,” Isaac said. “You two are always together and besides not having sex, you act as if you are definitely a couple.”

  “Okay baby, let’s go and leave these love birds alone,” Lauren said as she tugged on Isaac’s shirtsleeve.

  After they left, we sat silently for a little while longer. Neither of us dared to speak about Isaac’s jokes or the fact that he was right. We did act like we were a couple, but I didn’t
mind. We are friends and have fun together. Who cares what they think. Right?

  “Hey, do you want to order a pizza?” Cole asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

  “Yes.” I almost shouted. I was thankful for the change of topic.

  “Let me go get my wallet out of my truck,” he said as he jumped up and began walking toward the door. “Hey, just use my phone and call in an order. Get one large pepperoni and sausage for me and whatever you want, I’m buying,” he stated, before walking out the door.

  I picked up his phone and hit the unlock button. When the phone lit up, I saw that his screen-saver was the picture he had taken a few weeks ago at the bar and grille. I just sat there staring at the image of us, looking so happy and so much like the couple we swore we weren’t.

  I was still gawking at the photo when Cole returned. Spooked, I threw his phone down on the couch and just stared at him as he walked through the doorway.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I saw the picture on your phone,” I said, feeling a little strange for snooping.

  “What picture?” he asked, looking at me with wild, curious eyes.

  “The one of us, when you kissed me and snapped the picture while we were goofing around.” I said meekly.

  Laughing, Cole reached down and picked up his phone and looked at the image. Raising his eyebrows, he gave me a confused look. “What, you don’t like the picture?” he asked.

  “No. I mean yes. I like the picture. I just didn’t realize you saved it as your screen-saver.” I stammered, unsure why I was making it such a big deal.

  “Why wouldn’t that picture be my screen-saver?” he asked, again watching me like I had grown two heads. “That’s my favorite picture.” He stated very firmly.

  “Oh.” Was all I could say. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Maybe he was playing with me?

  Deciding to change the subject, I quickly reminded Cole that we needed to order our pizza. I walked to my room and retrieved my phone, which had been charging. I dialed the number to my favorite pizza place and placed our order for delivery.