by M. A. Lee
We continued watching our movie in silence, this time I was sitting up, my feet placed firmly on the ground. When the pizza finally arrived we ate while finishing the movie. When the movie was over, Cole who had been slouching on the couch, sat up and placed the empty pizza box that had been positioned between us on the couch, on the floor.
“Hey, are we ok?” he asked, throwing his arm on the back of the couch, his hand noticeably close to my shoulder.
“Yeah.” I said, trying to offer a smile. It was true, since I had found the picture, I had been acting strange. I wasn’t sure what to think about Cole saving that image. He was forced to look at it every day. Was it intentional?
“Do you want to watch another movie?” he asked, flipping through horror movies on Netflix.
“Sure,” I said, hoping he would select another cheesy horror flick from the seventies. Truth was, I hated scary movies. I always had nightmares about the demons or killers; they seemed to haunt me more than they did the characters they killed in the films.
“Or, we could just make out,” Cole teased with a naughty spark in his eye.
Trying to hide the redness from my burning cheeks, I kept my gaze directed to the television. Cole’s gaze shifted to me and I hated the ache that was burning deep inside of me. Of course I wanted to make out with him. No, what I wanted was for him to completely dominate me and claim me as his own. But, I would never tell Cole that. Instead, I played coy which only pissed me off even more. Man, sometimes I hated myself.
“Nope, a movie sounds good,” I replied, hiding the want in my eyes.
To my dismay, Cole selected the newest version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. Faking a smile, I prepared myself to close my eyes at every terrifying scene. Cole, who looked excited to see gory killings, shut off the lights and sat close to me on the couch as the movie began. Punching my phone, I saw that it was already after ten at night. Isaac and Lauren would probably be out late, I hoped Cole would stay around a little after the movie ended, you know, so I wouldn’t be too scared after watching a movie about a man that likes to chop up people for fun.
As the movie began, I could feel myself tense as I sat up straight, my body rigid. Noticing my strange behavior, Cole scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
“Are you afraid?” he asked, a small smirk creeping on his face. His hands began to travel along my thigh, a move he constantly attempted for me to allow.
Slapping his hand away, I played into the game.
“I am not afraid,” I lied. “I just get a little jumpy during the intense scenes.” I whimpered.
Just after I spoke, the crazy lunatic with the chainsaw jumped out to scare a girl who was hiding behind a barn. Only, I screamed and jumped much louder than any of the actors in the movies did.
My arms flailed, and I smacked Cole in the face with one of my hands as I flung myself into the air. Grabbing his face, Cole laughed as he watched me try to squirm into his side as the scene continued to gruesomely unfold. Cole only tightened his grip around my shoulder as I whispered my apologies to him as my head dug deeper into his chest.
I kept my position, tucked safely under Cole, for the remainder of the movie. My hands rested on his chest and I roamed his abdomen for the feel of his scar. Something about the way his scar felt under my touch, sent shivers down my spine. Touching him there felt so intimate and raw, but amazing. He didn’t seem to mind my roaming hands; instead, any intense or frightening moment he would squeeze me tighter to let me know he had me and I was safe. I saw the twinkle in his eye that only proved how much he enjoyed my touching him. His body radiated a warmth that forced me to snuggle deeper and deeper into him. We were so close, our bodies almost as one as we lie on the sofa together.
At some point during the movie, I fell asleep, resting my head comfortably on Cole’s thick, hard chest and my arms wrapped around his firm waist. It was the first time, in a long time that my sleep was not tormented by haunting images of the night of the wreck. Instead, as I slept in Cole’s arms, my body gave in to the darkness and my mind seemed to shut down, closed to anything and everything. The only way I knew I had been sleeping was when I awakened, an hour later, the movie was off and the screen glowed from an infomercial that played on the television. I wasn’t sure if Cole had turned off the movie, or if Netflix had shut off, but the movie was gone and replaced by a very enthusiastic man marketing a new laundry detergent.
I didn’t dare to move, I wanted to stay in this embrace for as long as I could, even though I knew I was playing with fire by doing so. I kept my eyes closed as my breathing evened out and I could feel myself falling back into the darkness I had fallen into earlier. Feeling Cole’s warm breath on my neck, I was reminded how close we were. His lips began to move and his chest began to move more rapidly below mine. Not sure what to do, I remained still.
“I could stay like this forever.” Cole softly whispered as he snuggled deeper into me. His warm breath cascaded over my ear and down my neck, sending my senses into overload. I could tell by the melancholy tone of his voice that I was not meant to hear his secret confession. So, being the good girl I am, I continued to pretend to be asleep as I focused on evening my breaths. Because the truth was, I could stay like this forever, too, and secretly wanted to. What was even more difficult was that Cole had me in a position where he could take me and I wouldn’t be able to fight him. Instead, he played a perfect gentleman.
We continued to lie together on the sofa, neither of us daring to move or break the hold we had on each other. With the silence in the apartment, the world around us seemed to stop, like this moment was paused just for us. His heartbeat and slowly, steady breathing were the only sounds audible. Together they created a beautiful melody that put me in a sweet trance. With my mind focused on nothing more than Cole, I felt myself growing agitated when I could hear footsteps coming and keys jingling from outside my apartment door. Cringing, I knew Lauren and Isaac were back, and as soon as they walked into the apartment, that meant Cole and I would have to separate and be forced back to the reality that we were now and always would be, friends. A reality that consisted of Cole and I as friends only, nothing more. I could lie to myself as much as I wanted, but to be honest, I enjoyed pretending that Cole and I could be something more, even if that meant I was left feeling empty when it was over.
As the front door slowly opened, I heard Lauren and Isaac whispering and giggling as they came into the living room. Suddenly stirring, Cole lifted his head slightly, so not to move me from my current position.
“What’s going on?” Lauren whispered, her voice revealing traces of a smile.
“We fell asleep watching a movie, Mel got freaked out so I held her.” Cole stated, his arms still holding me tightly as he whispered. He didn’t dare to move in the fear he would wake me. Only, he didn’t know I was already awake and listening very intently to their conversation.
“It looks like you two are very comfortable,” Isaac added with a trace of humor lacing his deep voice. “Come on man, how long are you going to pretend like you aren’t crazy about her?” Isaac asked.
“Look, it’s not like that.” Cole insisted, his voice growing defensive.
My stomach dropped at his words. I was worried by how much that phrase affected me. He was right, it isn’t like that. We are friends, nothing more. But, it truly frightened me by how much I desired him to say something else.
“Mel doesn’t look at me as anything more than a friend. She is too good for someone like me. Besides, I’m not stupid. I know that if I tell her I am crazy about her and that I want to be with her, she would stop letting me come around so much. I am not going to screw this up. If I have to play this game to be near her, then that’s what I will do.” Cole said sharply, his lips close to my forehead. With his new admission, I could feel my heart racing under my chest. I could feel my body tense as I struggled to comprehend what he meant by his words.
“I think you should just tell her how you feel,” L
auren demanded as she stood hovering above us.
I continued to pretend like I was sleeping, not sure how I would react if I were actually part of this conversation. Cole’s words clung to my heart, pulling on every part of my soul. I ached at the thought that Cole cared for me. In another world, I would have sat up and kissed Cole with such passion it would have pulled our souls together. Instead, we were in a world where anger, hurt, and despair kept me from allowing anyone to love me again. I had never hated Brody or Alice more than I did in that moment. When Alice died, so did my heart.
“Maybe one day, but right now I am just enjoying spending time with her.” Cole said with finality.
“It’s late,” Lauren yawned. “Come on baby, you are sleeping over.” Lauren announced as I heard her begin to walk toward the hall leading to our bedrooms. “Cole, you can sleep on the couch if you want, or in Mel’s bed.” Lauren said in her favorite sultry voice.
“I will help Mel to bed, then I will crash out here on the couch,” Cole said as I heard Lauren and Isaac pad back to Lauren’s room.
Adjusting himself, Cole began to slide out from my grasp around his waist. I took that moment to pretend to wake up, acting as if I had not just heard his admission that he cared for me more than being just friends. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, continuing with my act.
“Hey,” Cole said, noticing my movements.
“Hey,” I replied back, slightly smiling.
Without saying another word, Cole placed his arms under my back and knees and lifted me into his arms. Startled, I quickly placed my arms around his neck, holding on tightly. I felt light as air as he held me.
“What are you doing?” I almost shrieked as he began walking toward the hall.
“I am carrying you to bed,” Cole said.
And so he did. Gently, acting as if I were something fragile, Cole carried me to my room where he softly placed me on my bed. He pulled my covers over my body and then sat down on the edge, watching me closely. I peered up at him, watching his eyes as they followed the length of my body. Reaching out, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and then patted my shoulder.
“You are too nice to me,” I whispered, reaching up and placing my hand gently on his cheek. I ran my hand over the slight stubble on his jaw, reveling in the touch of his skin on mine. I could feel the electricity sparking between us as we touched and the jolts running through my body were almost too strong to handle.
“You deserve to be treated nicely,” he said, his voice calm and quiet as he watched me in the dark. He began gently running his hands through my hair. The effect was so soothing that I felt myself drifting further away. The only light in the room was provided from the moonlight as it snuck in through the blinds of my bedroom window. His face was illuminated by the pale light and I swear he looked like an angel.
Continuing to whisper, Cole gently leaned over me. “I wish I would have seen you first, before Brody. This crush that I have on you is never going to end. You can fight and deny my feelings for you, but I will always want you.”
Smiling, I nestled my head on my pillow. Cole’s words sank deep into my soul as I struggled to comprehend if they were real or not. Cole stood and began to walk away from my bed. Without thinking, I reached out my hand and took his in mine. Pulling him down to me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and skimmed my nose along his jawline. I could feel him swallow and his breathing become jagged as I trailed my lips along the most sensitive part of his neck. His muscles tightened as he wrapped his arms around my waist and moved to where he now lay on top of me. Brushing a lose strand of hair away from my face, Cole’s eyes landed on mine as my face turned to his. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but all I knew was that the desire to be near Cole was stronger than the wall I had built to push him away. In this moment, I needed to be close to him and to feel his body against mine.
Watching me carefully, Cole leaned in and crushed his lips to mine. I could feel the warmth growing between my legs as his tongue parted my lips. His hands roamed over my body and a low moan escaped through my mouth.
“What are you doing?” Cole asked, after our mouths parted and his breathing evened out.
“I’m not sure,” I replied too honestly.
We can’t do this until you are sure I am what you want,” Cole said through gritted teeth. I could feel the frustration radiating off of him and as he moved off my body, his hardness moved against my thighs. Standing, Cole pulled the covers over my body, gently tucking me in. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and then began walking to my doorway where he paused and turned to look back at me. “Mel,” he said, as he stood with his hand on the door.
“Yes,” I replied, my voice breathy.
“You may not know this yet, but you are the greatest thing that has happened to me in a very long time,” he said, before he disappeared and closed the door.
My mouth was left wide open, in shock. I wasn’t sure what to do with that piece of information. I was the greatest thing that had happened to him in a long time? My heart melted with those words, which I played and re-played through my mind all night long along with the intense moment we just shared, allowing myself to dream as if I could be with Cole. Because I may not be bold enough to say it to him, Cole was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
By the time I woke the next morning Cole was gone. Lauren had to open that morning at the department store, so Isaac and Cole left when she did. All of this was relayed to me through a text from Lauren. I wished they had awakened me so I could have said goodbye.
I lay in my bed, comfortable as my mind flashed back to the previous night. That evening had been so perfect as Cole held me in his arms. I knew we had probably crossed another line, removing us even further from our friend zone, but I wasn’t sure I knew how to stop Cole or myself from acting on our impulses.
I snuggled further inside my blankets, as my body grew warm thinking about Cole’s firm arms as they fit around me perfectly. My stomach ached as I remembered his breaths, warming my skin and how his black as night curly hair had bounced when he laughed at my frantic reactions to the horror movie we had been watching. Everything about that night had been perfect.
Just as I began to imagine what it would be like for Cole to kiss me again, to wrap his arms around me and pull me into him, cradle me, and begin kissing down my neck and to my...
My phone chimed, notifying me of a text. Frustrated, I shook my head, trying to remove the images I had been creating and re-creating over and over again in my mind. Images and thoughts I should not be having about Cole.
Cole: Hey, do you have plans today?
Me: Nope. I don’t ever do anything on Sunday
Cole: Well you do now. Get dressed, I will be there in an hour.
Me: Where are we going?
Cole: It’s a surprise.
Me: I hate surprises
Cole: I know. See you in an hour
I really did hate surprises. Stretching, I stood and began preparing myself for whatever Cole had planned. I showered, dressed in a cute pair of jeans and a flowing emerald green shirt that always made my eyes shine in contrast with my caramel colored hair. I took a few extra minutes to curl my hair, using my fingers to brush the ringlets out so that I created a beachy, wavy look. I remember Cole saying he liked it when I wore my hair that way. No big deal I guess, just want to look good.
As I finished tiding around the apartment, I heard Cole’s loud knock as he announced his arrival. When I opened the door, Cole slowly scanned my body, all the way from my head to my toes. His smile grew wider the farther down he went, which made me blush under his stare. Taking a moment, I admired Cole’s loose fitting jeans and tight fitting charcoal gray tee shirt. Everything he wore seemed to hug his form in all the right places.
“Wow, you look great,” Cole stated as he continued to smile.
“Thanks,” I said, tucking a strand of my wavy locks behind my ear.
“You ready?” Cole asked, holding out his hand for me
to take. I guess that was one of the boundaries we passed by long ago, holding hands. Friends hold hands right?
“Sure. But where are we going?” I asked, placing my hand in his.
“I told you, it’s a surprise.” He said slyly.
Sighing, I rolled my eyes as I smiled. He was so infuriating sometimes, but I loved, I mean liked that about him. We walked to the parking lot where I saw a beautiful, candy apple red vintage Camaro sitting in one of the guest parking spots. Cole reached into his pocket and pulled out a key and hit a button. I watched as the Camaro’s lights lit up as he unlocked the car.
“What is that?” I asked, pausing in mid step.
Cole smiled, a smile so wide it spread from ear-to-ear. “That, is my car. Well at least for today it is,” he said, squeezing my hand as he began walking to the passenger side where he opened the door for me.
I sat down on the black leather seats and admired the beautiful interior. Cole carefully closed the door as I rubbed my hand over the newly polished features inside. The stereo was absolutely wicked, it had so many buttons and dials I couldn’t even think to make out what they were all used for. Cole opened the driver’s side and slid in. He fit inside the car nicely, almost like it was made for him.
“Are we committing some type of crime? Did you steal this car?” I asked as I tried to hide a smile. The only thing I had seen Cole drive was his old rusted Ford truck, which he seemed to love.
Laughing, Cole revved the engine and glanced at me as he buckled his seat belt. “No, I didn’t steal this car,” he said. “I’ve been working on the car for an old friend of mine. He likes to buy old sports cars and restore them. He’s some kind of doctor and always brings his cars by the shop. Anyway, I am doing him a favor since the car needed extensive work and the shop was charging him way more than what it was worth to do. So, he asked me to do this and he’s paying me half what they would have charged him. Plus, I get to drive it today with you,” he said, offering me his famous trademark smile.