by M. A. Lee
“Has he still not called?” Lauren asked as I lay on her bed watching her rummage through her closet for a perfect dress to wear to Isaac’s Valentine’s Day party. I watched her try on at least a dozen dresses, only to throw them aside as in her eyes they were not sexy or cute enough to wear. I wished I could tell her how monumental that day would become to her, but I had made a promise to Isaac and intended to keep my word.
As Lauren tried on a tight red dress with a long slit up to her thigh, I sighed in frustration. “No, he still hasn’t called. Why? Has Isaac heard from him?” I asked, trying to hide the squeal in my voice.
Turning to face me, Lauren looked like a beauty queen in the ravishing dress. The material clung to her curves, accentuating all of her perfect assets. “No, Isaac said he took off and has been staying really busy, but he wouldn’t tell me with what.”
My stomach dropped as I listened to her talk about Cole. So, Isaac had heard from him, but he hadn’t called to tell me like he promised he would. The only reason Isaac wouldn’t tell me about talking with Cole, had to be because he knew the information would only hurt me. Was Cole dating someone else? Did he hate me? I felt like crying, but I held my breath and fought back the tears.
“I am sorry,” Lauren said, as she noticed my pained expression. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it is fine. I promise.” I lifted myself off of my stomach and sat on the edge of her bed. “I should have known Cole would move on. I don’t blame him for hating me and not wanting to see me. I deserve that.” I admitted calmly even though I felt like throwing everything in sight.
Lauren tried on a pair of gold heels and pulled her hair up, away from her neck. “What do you think?” she asked, twirling like a runway model.
“I think you look gorgeous,” I said.
Smiling brightly, Lauren’s eyes glowed, and I imagined how magnificent she would look in a few short days with a shiny diamond placed on her finger. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know how much Isaac had told her about this party. And, I was praying for a little more information that may lead me to what Cole was really up to.
“So tell me about this Valentine’s party. Is it really going to be that fancy?” I asked, pointing to Lauren and her elaborate red dress. She looked stunning, but she should be the one who would steal the show. Whether she knew it or not, that was going to be her night.
“Isaac said he wanted a big blow out party. He wants everyone to be there.” Giggling, Lauren thought about Isaac. “He loves a wild party,” she confessed.
Laughing too, I agreed. “Yes, Isaac can definitely throw a party,” I mused. “But whose idea was it to dress like we are celebrities heading to the Oscars?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Of course, that part was my idea. I thought it would be fun to have a sort of Gatsby themed party. You know how much I love to dress up,” she said flaunting her new attire. “It will be fun. Plus, it will be Valentine’s Day, everyone should feel and look good.” She smiled again as she began to change out of the dress and heels and back to her jeans and tee shirt.
“I don’t think I have anything that fancy, or Gatsby themed to wear,” I stated as I glanced around Lauren’s room while she changed. Her room, which was once covered in pictures of the two of us, now contained pictures of her and Isaac. So much had changed for both of us, but I was happy that Lauren had found true love.
“Don’t be silly. I will help you find something to wear,” Spinning around, Lauren pointed at me and gave me an evil glare. “Oh no you don’t. You will not weasel your way out of this party. You need to go out and have some fun. There will be tons of cute guys there to take your mind off of Cole and Brody.”
Throwing my hands up in defense, I stood and walked toward her. “I promise. I wouldn’t miss this party for the world. You can take me out shopping this weekend. My mom sent me a check to cover some bills, but I had already paid them with my money from my internship. I will make sure to get a beautiful dress to wear.”
Jumping up and down and clapping, Lauren rushed at me and hugged me tightly. Squealing, Lauren was pleased with my answer. “Great! I am so happy to have you back, Mel.”
She hugged me one more time before she rushed out her bedroom door and yelled that she was heading to Isaacs and not to wait up. As I heard the apartment door slam shut, I walked back to my room and picked up my latest manuscript I had been working on which was a love story that rivaled Fifty Shades of Grey. I read through a few more chapters, adding my notes before putting it down with a laugh. I spent the rest of the night reviewing notes for my Women’s Literature Class and then called my mom for our weekly phone call.
As I ended my night, I tucked myself in my bed and closed my eyes. For once, I felt hopeful that my life was finally piecing itself back together again. If only I had a crystal ball to see what exactly my future held, I could have prepared myself for the storm that would come next.
22
“Come on Mel, I want to see what you look like!” Lauren exclaimed as she pounded on my bedroom door for the millionth time.
January had come and gone without any word from Cole. Like promised, I had continued to keep my life on track. I had been working and gaining more manuscripts to edit, which meant my boss believed in me and trusted my eye for editing. School was still progressing, and I was already working with my mom, planning my invitations for graduation and ordering my cap and gown for my May graduation date. However, Lauren seemed more impressed with the fact that I had stayed true and allowed her to take me shopping for the Valentine’s Day/Gatsby/Secret Engagement party.
In true Lauren fashion, she had found a silky plum colored dress that hugged my hips and showed a little bit more cleavage than I was comfortable with. The dress was long and hit my ankles, which were dressed in a pair of black heels. I had curled my long hair so that it bounced off my shoulders. With sparkling black diamond earrings and a matching necklace, I felt like I was ready to show myself off to Lauren.
When I opened my bedroom door, Lauren gasped and placed her hands over her gaping mouth. “Mel, you look fantastic!” she exclaimed.
“Thanks,” I muttered, embarrassed by her compliment.
I took a good look at Lauren and noticed that she truly looked like a movie star. Her golden blonde hair was swept up in a beautifully styled bun. Her red dress and gold heels made her look like someone straight out of Gatsby. She looked radiant and in a few short hours, she would be experiencing a moment most girls dream about. I almost cried thinking about Isaac and the ring he would be using to symbolize his love for Lauren.
“Lauren, you look stunning tonight. I am so happy for you,” I spit out before I realized what I had said. I felt like smacking myself.
“Uh, thanks. I am pretty happy too. This party will be epic,” she laughed, clearly not understanding what I had meant. She had no idea just how epic this party was about to actually be.
When we arrived at Isaac’s house, I scanned every car parked along the street. Hoping to see Cole’s, I was disappointed when I couldn’t find anything that resembled a car he may be driving. Hiding my hurt, I braved a face because tonight was all about Lauren. I had agreed to drive because I knew once Lauren put that ring on her finger, she would not be wanting to go back home with me. And I really didn’t feel like staying with Isaac and Lauren and listening to them celebrate their new engagement all night.
Walking into Isaac’s house I felt like I was in the wrong place. The entire space had been transformed into a scene straight out of the twenties. Everyone was dressed in long dresses or fancy tuxes. Gold and red streamers dangled from the ceiling and Champaign glasses were overflowing everywhere you looked.
Lauren, who was already in love with the décor smiled and clapped her hands as we walked further into the party. “Kat did a great job didn’t she?” she asked.
Wow, I thought. “Yes, this place looks awesome!” I wondered if Kat was in on Isaac’s secret too. It was hard to believe that the
last time I saw Kat was the same night I last saw Cole. I wondered if she, too, hated me.
My mind suddenly came back into focus as I spotted Isaac walking across the room. He was wearing a white tuxedo with a black button down dress shirt underneath. His hair was sleeked back, which made him look dapper. Smiling, he took in Lauren and looked at her like she was the most delicious treat he had ever tasted. I admired his love for her and the happiness I felt in that moment shoved aside any lingering hurt or frustration I had felt when I first arrived.
Lauren jumped into Isaac’s arms and kissed him passionately on the lips as he spun her around. Kat and Smalls were standing next to a makeshift bar that had been built in the corner of the room. I walked over to them and offered a smile. Thankfully, both accepted my white flag and smiled back. Kat was dressed in a seductive gold dress with white pearls hanging from her neck. She had a feather band around her short hair and a fake cigar in her hand. Smalls, was wearing a nice gray dress shirt and black pants. For him, that was dressed up and I appreciated his effort.
“Hi,” I mumbled awkwardly.
“You don’t have to be afraid of us. We don’t bite,” Smalls laughed as he pulled me in for a hug. Glancing at Kat, he continued. “Well, she may bite, but I am safe,” he chuckled.
“Whatever,” Kat sneered back. “We are good,” she stated, announcing that all harsh feelings were dissolved. They offered me a drink, which I gladly accepted. Every few minutes I made sure to scan the room and I stood with my body facing the door so I could see if or when Cole appeared.
The night continued on and my patience was growing thin. I was anxiously awaiting Isaac’s proposal and for Cole to show up. Neither had happened yet and I was getting ready to leave.
Just as I decided to find my purse so I could get my car keys and leave, I heard Isaac turn the music off from the radio. “Um, I need to say something,” he choked, as he grabbed Lauren’s hand and pulled her to the center of the room. This was it, the moment I had waited for all night. He was finally ready. I could see he was sweating and he looked so nervous, but it was cute and endearing.
Lauren walked with him and stood. She made eye contact with me and I tried to hide my excitement, I didn’t want to give away the surprise just yet. Her eyebrows rose as she looked at me, but she quickly turned her attention back to Isaac. Once he had Lauren looking only at him, he knelt down on one knee and pulled the ring out of his suit pocket. Everyone around the room began to gasp and some were already clapping.
Lauren’s eyes danced as she focused on the shiny diamond in Isaac’s hand. “Lauren, I love you more than anything and I know this may seem rushed, but I can’t wait any longer. I have to ask. Will you marry me?” His voice shook as he spoke, but the love and sentiment rang higher and caused goose bumps to appear on my arms.
As Lauren threw herself into his arms, he quickly stood and placed the ring on her finger before they embraced in a long and dramatic kiss. Everyone in the room erupted with applause and cheers and I felt myself crying, happy tears.
I felt his presence even before I saw him. Time seemed to stop and everything around me was in slow motion. Slowly turning to my right, I spotted Cole clapping wildly and whistling from the front door. My heart began to speed and my body shook as I took in his perfectly wavy hair and magical eyes. He was dressed in an all-black tuxedo with a single plum colored flower placed near the front pocket of his jacket. The color perfectly matched my dress, and I knew it was more than a coincidence. It seems as though I may not have been the only one keeping secrets these past few weeks.
I was in awe of his perfect beauty and in that moment, I felt unsure of what I should do. My body screamed for me to run to him, to jump in his arms, kiss him, and tell him to never let me go. But, my brain told me to stay put. I couldn’t take away the precious moment from Lauren.
Still holding Isaac and now flaunting her ring in the face of everyone who came over to congratulate them, Lauren yelled at me from across the room. “Go to him you idiot,” she laughed.
Smiling a wicked grin, Cole stood watching me like a predator watches his prey. Unsure if my legs would be able to work, I took one slow step at a time as I walked toward Cole. I shut and closed my eyes twice, hoping I wasn’t imagining him there.
“You came,” I spoke, as I approached him.
“I was invited,” he replied.
We stood looking at each other for what seemed like forever. All sounds from the party were gone, in that moment it was just the two of us. I waited for him to reach out and pull me in close to him, but he never did.
“I tried to call you,” I said, my voice shaking.
Sighing, Cole ran a hand over his eyes. He looked as nervous as I felt. “This is harder than I thought it would be. I wanted to come here tonight and tell you again how I felt, but seeing you makes it difficult,” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve seen you around town and tonight, you look...happy. I am glad you feel better, but damn, it breaks my heart at the same time.”
Confusion tore through me like waves. What was he talking about? I didn’t understand what he was trying to say. Reaching for his hand, I pulled him toward the front door. “We need to talk, without an audience,” I suggested as we walked outside in the cold night air. The moment felt familiar, and I wanted to break free from that feeling before Cole realized how much this night was like New Year’s Eve.
“Okay,” he agreed. “It is cold out here, can we go sit in my car?” he asked, jingling his car keys.
“Sure,” I agreed as I followed him to the car.
Once we were both seated inside. I began talking. “Cole, I have been trying to call you so I could explain everything to you. What you saw that day at the coffee shop with Brody, it was not what you think. He came to apologize to me. I let go of all the hate I had been holding in. I don’t love Brody. I tried to tell you, but you just ran away from me."
Almost laughing, Cole turned to me and let out a loud sigh. “What did you expect me to do? I see you with your ex-fiancé and you looked so happy and content. It broke my heart. It sucks to have someone break your heart than leave.”
I knew he was implying that was what I had done. I didn’t want to argue with him. All I ever wanted was to have a moment to tell him how I felt, but he was not giving me that opportunity. He continued, before I could even open my mouth.
“Look Mel, I understand you have moved on. I know you wanted to apologize to me. It’s ok, you don’t have to. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here tonight. I guess...” his voice trailed off as he stared off into the black night. “I guess I thought you would still need me.”
That phrase sparked a fire inside me that flared every emotion imaginable.
“I do need you!” I screamed out. “If you would just listen to me, that is what I am trying to say. I want you. I need you. I love you. I was wrong to walk away from us. I realize now that I had built a wall to shelter me from the storms. But I now know you are not like Brody. You are the best man I have ever known.”
The emotions were too much for me to handle and I suddenly felt claustrophobic. I needed to get out of his car and get some fresh air before I passed out. I pushed against the door and felt the cold hair smack me in the face as I jumped out of the car and ran to the crunchy grass.
I could hear Cole following me as he slammed his car door shut and followed close by. He grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. His eyes met mine and they searched deep inside my soul for the truth. “Do you mean that?” he asked, his voice shaking.
“Yes.” I whispered.
“You love me?” he asked again, almost like he hadn’t heard me correctly the first time.
“Yes,” I began. “But, if you don’t feel the same way anymore. I understand.”
Wrapping his hands around my shoulders, Cole forced me to look at him, to really look at him.
“Can’t you see I am in love with you?” Cole screamed, his hands clenched on my shoulders.
&nbs
p; I stood motionless, unable to move. He loved me? Of course he loved me. I loved him too.
“I have been in love with you since the moment I first saw you. You were who I saw that night of the wreck. Your face. It was you who made me want to change my life. Your beautiful eyes made me realize I had to get my shit together and be someone good in this life. It was you who I saw every time I wanted to pick up a bottle of liquor or blow my money on stupid shit. I think about you every moment that I am awake, and I dream about you in my sleep. You are beautiful and smart and so brave. I don’t know how you can’t see that I am madly in love with you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I said, and I really didn’t.
“Just tell me you love me and you want to be my girl, forever.”
I rushed him, jumping into his arms and throwing my legs around his waist. My lips found his and I kissed him, passionately at first then with such strong desire I felt like I couldn’t get enough. His arms wrapped around my body, pulling me closer to him as he held me tightly.
When we finally slowed so that we could breathe, I looked deep into his eyes and saw the love that I had missed so many times before. Yes, he loved me and I loved him too. How could I not love Cole?
Even though we were standing in the middle of Isaac’s yard in the middle of February in Kentucky, I was not cold. Cole’s arms and love warmed me and kept the cold from invading my body.
We held each other tightly as we climbed back inside Cole’s car and rushed back to my apartment. Neither one of us wanted to go back to the party, which was now Isaac and Lauren’s special night. We agreed to not take any of the focus away from them. Instead, we would wait until tomorrow to let everyone know that I loved Cole, and he loved me. We were going to be together, and nothing could break us now.