Love Changes Everything

by Love Changes Everything (retail) (epub)

  Trixie stared at him dumbly, her eyes filling with tears and her throat constricting as she tried to hold back her sobs; her heart ached she missed her mother so much. It was hard enough to come to terms with her loss, let alone accept this new development.

  She stared at Daisy with loathing, wondering how her father could possibly let this raddled harpy take her mother’s place in their home and in their lives.

  She looked across the room to where Cilla and Jimmy were playing together, oblivious of what was happening, and wondered how she was going to explain this to Cilla.

  If only she could find a way to do so she’d like nothing better than to do as he said and get out, take little Cilla with her, and start a new life for them both somewhere else, but how could she when she had no money, no job and nowhere to go?

  Her father and Daisy both knew this and that she had no option but to knuckle down and accept the situation whether she wanted to or not. From the smug smile on Daisy’s face Trixie knew that from now on she would be at her beck and call and that it wasn’t going to be easy because Daisy would be hard to please.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Trixie soon found her life becoming almost unbearable as Daisy revelled in her new role as Mrs Jackson. She made it obvious right from the start that she regarded Trixie as nothing more than a skivvy; someone there to do her bidding.

  Usually Daisy and Sam wanted nothing to do with looking after Jimmy but now they both undermined Trixie’s authority by spoiling him a great deal and because of this he was often naughty and disruptive. They were forever bringing home little presents for him or Sam would take him on his knee and feed him tit-bits from his own plate.

  Both of them completely ignored Cilla. Daisy made it quite plain that she couldn’t stand the sight of her. If Cilla went up to her she pushed her away and it upset Trixie to see the look of bewilderment on the child’s pretty face.

  The first change Daisy instigated was to move Jimmy into the small room that Sam had been using, which was no more than Trixie had expected. What she hadn’t counted on, though, was that Daisy insisted that Cilla’s little single bed should be moved in there for Jimmy to sleep in. This meant that whether Trixie liked it or not she was forced to have Cilla sleeping in her bed.

  Jimmy didn’t like being in a room on his own. He would try and creep into Trixie’s room and into bed with Cilla but this meant that the two of them caused ructions and neither of them managed to get to sleep even when they were very tired indeed.

  Whenever Trixie tried to put a stop to it by taking Jimmy back to his own room it usually resulted in Jimmy howling and crying so loudly that none of them could get any rest.

  The other big change that both saddened Trixie and, at the same time made her blood boil, was that Daisy immediately began disposing of anything that had belonged to Maggie. It wasn’t simply her clothes; Trixie could have understood that, but all her mother’s favourite ornaments and even some pieces of furniture that had been part of their family home for as long as she could remember.

  Daisy’s taste was not what Trixie was used to. The garish colours and ornate bits and pieces that Daisy either bought new or picked up from Paddy’s Market or second-hand shops jarred on her eyes and nerves. To her surprise her father seemed to like them and was forever saying how much brighter and more cheerful their home was since Daisy had moved in with them.

  Trixie noticed that the only thing he did object to was when Daisy threw out the old but very comfortable black leather armchair that he’d always considered to be his special chair.

  Daisy replaced it with a smart sofa that was upholstered in bright blue plush. It was reserved for her and Sam and no one else. Not even little Jimmy was allowed on it and if he so much as dared to touch one of the brightly covered, blue and black striped cushions with their ornate gold tassels which were piled up on it then he was shouted at or even smacked by his mother.

  Daisy had also replaced the sturdy repp living-room curtains with floral cretonne ones which were in a jazzy pattern of blue, gold, black and white. In the bedroom that she now shared with Sam there was a rose-pink gaudily patterned artificial silk counterpane and matching frilled pillowcases.

  Trixie wondered where all the money was coming from, but she knew better than to ask any questions, even when a tallyman started calling regularly each week. It was no longer any of her concern since Daisy had taken control of the purse strings.

  Daisy was the one who now did all the shopping. She didn’t go to the market, or wait till late on Saturday in the hopes of buying meat that the butcher knew wouldn’t keep over the weekend at a bargain price. Daisy only bought the freshest meat and vegetables and seemed to be prepared to pay top price for them.

  Trixie found that she was expected to make appetising meals for Daisy and Sam from whatever cuts of meat and assorted vegetables Daisy decided to buy.

  They no longer sat down to eat as a family. Trixie was told to use up the previous day’s leftovers to make a meal for her and the children. Then she was expected to cook something quite different for Sam and Daisy and serve them separately.

  Their nightly excursions to the pub still went on and Trixie found that she was no longer able to go out in the evenings. The only time she ever managed to see Andrew was on Saturday afternoons or occasionally on a Sunday when she was taking Cilla and Jimmy for a walk to St John’s Gardens.

  He seemed to be pleased to see her but he always looked slightly annoyed when she turned down his invitations to go to the pictures with him during the week. Lately, she noticed, he hadn’t even asked her.

  ‘Surely Jimmy’s mother would keep an eye on him and Cilla for one night down the week,’ Jake suggested when she asked him if he would explain things to Andrew.

  ‘Of course she could, but she won’t. I even asked Dad if he would keep an eye on them so that I can go out now and again on my own, but he simply scoffed at the idea.’

  ‘Well, you didn’t really expect him to agree to do something like that, did you?’ Jake said in surprise.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know; it’s amazing how much he’s changed in the last few months. If Daisy asks him, he does things about the place; things that he’d never have dreamed of doing for my mum when she was alive,’ Trixie sighed.

  ‘Does he still go out boozing as much as ever, though?’ Jake probed.

  ‘Oh, yes! They both go to the pub every night as well as at the weekends; he’s well and truly under Daisy’s thumb,’ she admitted resignedly.

  ‘And you are under hers,’ Jake commented despairingly.

  Trixie looked worried. ‘Andrew probably hasn’t asked me out lately because he thinks that I can’t be bothered to make the effort to go out with him and that’s not true,’ Trixie said quickly, her cheeks flushing.

  ‘It’s also probably because he has a lot of new friends these days. He knocks around with chaps and girls from work so I don’t see as much of him as I used to either.’

  Trixie nodded unhappily. ‘I like Andrew, though, so next time you see him, Jake, do you think you can try and find a way of letting him know that?’

  Andrew didn’t take it at all well. When she saw him leaving the bank the following Saturday as she was on her way to the park he looked quite annoyed.

  ‘Jake explained the situation and made your excuses,’ he greeted her abruptly. ‘It would have been much better if you’d told me yourself instead of using him as a messenger. I really think you should try and speak up for yourself, Trixie, and not be so self-effacing,’ he added in a disparaging tone.

  Trixie hated it when Andrew criticised her. It always made her feel so inferior when all she wanted to do was please him and not have him look down on her.

  She still loved him with all her heart, but recently he seemed to have changed. He was so smartly dressed, even when he wasn’t at work, that it made her feel shabbier than ever. She always made sure that her clothes were pristine clean and well pressed but she wished she could afford something new occasionally
. It was quite impossible to buy anything out of the couple of shillings she was given as pocket money each week.

  ‘Surely it’s time you left home and found yourself a decent job,’ he commented sharply as if reading her mind.

  ‘I did try but I needed to go to night school and there was no one to look after Cilla—’

  ‘Or Jimmy!’ he interrupted. ‘Jake said that his mother would have looked after Cilla, she has a soft spot for her, but she can’t cope with Jimmy as well because he’s such a little devil and into everything and won’t do as he’s told.’

  ‘It’s because Daisy spoils him all the time. She’s so wrapped up in her new life and reorganising everything at home that she gives in to him completely and lets him do whatever he wants.’

  ‘She couldn’t do that if you didn’t let her. I keep telling you that you’ve got to stand up for yourself. Don’t ask if you can go out, simply tell her you’re going. Heaven’s above, Trixie, you’re eighteen and it’s time you grew up and stopped being so timid and letting people push you around,’ he said vehemently.

  He sounded so cross with her that she found her heart pumping like a sledge hammer. She was so afraid he was going to say that he wasn’t going to waste time trying to see her any more.

  Jake had said he didn’t see very much of Andrew these days so she suspected that, like Jake, she wasn’t really all that important in Andrew’s life any more. Yet he did still seem to be fond of her, she reflected, even if it wasn’t the same overpowering love that she felt for him.

  ‘How about coming to the pictures with me next Saturday night?’ he asked suddenly.

  From the tone of his voice she was sure he was testing her to see if she had the strength to stand up to Daisy and she was determined to let him see that she could.

  ‘All right.’ She took a deep breath because she wasn’t at all sure what sort of reaction she would get when she asked at home if she could go out. Saturday night was their favourite night for the pub. ‘What time shall we meet?’

  ‘Half past seven, outside the Rotunda. Don’t be late and don’t you dare make any excuses for not turning up. You’ve got a week to tell Daisy that you’ll be going out next Saturday night, plenty of time for her to make arrangements for someone else to take care of Jimmy if she doesn’t want to do so herself.’

  The week went by in a haze. One minute the days seem to be flying because she was desperately trying to find a way of telling Daisy she was going out. The next, every minute was dragging because she couldn’t wait to be with Andrew and on their own.

  When Saturday came she knew she’d have to say something, otherwise it would mean that Andrew would be stood up and that really would be the end of their friendship.

  She waited till after Daisy and her dad came home from their midday session at the pub and had eaten their meal. She’d made sure that it was cooked to perfection and that the children were playing happily in Jimmy’s bedroom so that there would be no distraction when she broke the news to her dad and Daisy.

  ‘What do you mean, you’re going out tonight? Who’s going to look after the kids?’ Daisy demanded.

  ‘I thought perhaps you and Dad would like to have a night in for once,’ Trixie said tentatively. She hated herself for being so timorous but she was anxious not to provoke them in any way.

  ‘What the hell makes you think that?’ Daisy asked derisively. ‘We always go to the boozer on a Saturday night; it’s the best night of the week, isn’t it, Sam? There’s usually a sing-song or sometimes even a knees up,’ she added with a suggestive laugh.

  ‘Surely you wouldn’t mind, just this once,’ Trixie said disgusted by the wheedling tone of her own voice.

  ‘That’s where you’re bloody well wrong,’ her father announced with a humourless smile. ‘You can’t just spring something like this on us at the last minute and expect us to take any notice. Not that we would stay in no matter when you told us,’ he added scathingly.

  ‘Looking after the kids is your job,’ Daisy pointed out. ‘It’s not much to ask. After all, you don’t have to go out to work. We provide the ackers and you live in the lap of luxury. All you have to do is make sure the place is tidy, keep an eye on the kids and cook some food for us.’

  ‘I need to go out with my friends now and again,’ Trixie pointed out stubbornly.

  ‘Then do it during the day,’ Daisy shrieked, her mouth screwed up petulantly. ‘You do as you like all day so you’ve plenty of time to meet them then.’

  ‘I’ve arranged to go out with Andrew and he works all week,’ Trixie stated as she cleared away their dirty dishes.

  ‘Andrew? You mean that cocky young upstart who works at the bank?’ her father said in a derisory tone. ‘You want to watch your step with him, my girl. He thinks himself a cut above us so he’s only going out with you for one thing.’

  ‘And we don’t want any more unwanted brats around the place, there’re enough problems with that half-wit sister of yours,’ Daisy said nastily, lighting up a cigarette.

  ‘Cilla is no trouble at all, but I can’t say the same for Jimmy,’ Trixie flared, stung by Daisy’s comments. ‘He’s a right little terror and it’s because of the way you both spoil him.’

  ‘If he is, then it’s more likely because of the way you’re looking after him. He was as quiet as a mouse and barely said a word when I first brought him here,’ she stated, blowing a cloud of smoke in Trixie’s direction.

  ‘That’s only because he hadn’t started talking,’ Trixie reminded her. ‘I don’t suppose you noticed, though, because you spent so little time with him. Pity you didn’t leave him with his father; that’s if you know who he is . . .’

  Before she had finished speaking her father’s hand had caught Trixie across the side of her face sending her toppling backwards. ‘Don’t you ever let me hear you say anything like that again,’ he said angrily. ‘In case you’re unaware of the fact, Jimmy is my kid! I’m his dad and that means he’s your brother.’

  Trixie stared at him, wide-eyed with shock. ‘He can’t be,’ she argued. ‘He was almost two when you brought him here. Anyway, it’s only been a few months since Mam died and you’ve only been living with Daisy since then, so how can he be yours?’

  ‘It’s high time someone told you the facts of life,’ Daisy sniggered. ‘Anyway, your dad and me are old friends and we were having an affair a long time before he brought me back here to live,’ Daisy added triumphantly, stubbing out her cigarette.

  ‘You’re lying,’ Trixie exclaimed in a shocked whisper. She turned to look at her father. ‘Tell me it’s not true, Dad?’ she begged in an anguished voice.

  ‘What the hell does it matter whether it is or not?’ Sam blustered, ‘Jimmy’s my kid and they’re both living here now and if you can’t stomach it then you know what to do, otherwise we’ve all got to get on with one another.’

  ‘And I’ve got to have a life of my own,’ Trixie insisted.

  ‘We’ll think about that; we all need a bit of time to simmer down,’ her father told her truculently.

  ‘I’ve already told Andrew that I’ll meet him tonight and I can’t let him down,’ Trixie persisted.

  As she saw the scowl that darkened her dad’s face she thought for a moment it was all going to blow up into a full-scale row, and then to her surprise he simply shrugged his shoulders.

  ‘In that case, then you’d better go. We’ll manage somehow, won’t we?’ he said turning to Daisy.

  Trixie could see that Daisy was on the point of arguing, but a warning shake of his head from her father stopped her. She didn’t look pleased but she made no attempt to say any more. Instead, she patted her blond hair, shrugged and averted her eyes.

  As she began to get ready Trixie felt full of gratitude to Andrew. He’d been so right. The only way for her to handle the situation was to stand up to them both.

  She made mugs of hot sweet cocoa for Cilla and Jimmy and gave it to them with a couple of biscuits. She explained that she was going out and
they seemed to accept the situation quite happily.

  Before she left she made sure they were undressed and in bed and as she tucked them both in she told them that they must be good for Daisy. They were both so tired that she felt sure they would be asleep in next to no time.

  ‘I’m off, then,’ she said, going into the living room where her dad and Daisy were sitting close together on the new settee. ‘They’re both almost asleep and I won’t be very late.’

  ‘We won’t be waiting up for you,’ Daisy told her tartly. ‘The door will be on the latch so just make sure you come in quietly and don’t disturb us.’

  ‘I’ll remember,’ Trixie agreed with a smile. ‘I promise I’ll be as quiet as a mouse.’

  Inwardly she was laughing to herself, thinking of the noise the pair of them usually made banging into the furniture, falling up the stairs, laughing and shouting when they came in after being out on one of their late-night drinking sprees.

  She still felt both uneasy and shocked by her father saying that Jimmy was his. She wondered if it was really true or whether he had been saying that to please Daisy.

  Once again she thought back to the day he had brought Daisy home. Jimmy hadn’t been with her – well, not till later on. Surely if he was Sam’s child, then her father would have said something to them before he and Daisy went to collect him and her belongings.

  Yet how could he have said anything at the time? she reminded herself. If he’d claimed Jimmy was his then it would have broken her mother’s heart and she certainly would have objected to Daisy moving into their home.

  Still, for the moment, none of that really mattered, she told herself as she hurried to the Rotunda.

  She was free and going out with Andrew on her own for the first time in more months than she cared to remember. He was taking her to the pictures, so what more could she want from life?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The visit to the pictures was everything Trixie had dreamed it would be. It was magical from the second she arrived and found Andrew waiting outside the Rotunda for her, looking so handsome in his smart grey flannels and navy blue sports jacket, to the moment when he took her in his arms and kissed her goodnight.