Broken Open

by Lauren Dane

  “Yours was jewelry making?”

  “No. Actually back then it was ceramics.” Still was. She’d been considering building a kiln out behind the house.

  “Very cool. I started playing the guitar because my dad bribed me for staying out of trouble. Then they paid for lessons but I didn’t need them long. But I was a convert and didn’t want to go to school or do anything else but play the guitar. By then Paddy had also got a guitar bribe. My mom wielded our free time like a weapon. If we did well in school and didn’t get into fights or trouble, they’d give us time doled out in half an hour increments to play.”

  “We might be super careful about keeping our mothers apart.”

  He chuckled. “Have you heard the story about Mary’s mom and mine?”

  “No! Oh, do tell.”

  “Mary and Damien had broken up. She’d seen these pictures and they looked really bad. Like Damien had been with an ex while they were in New York. So Damien chased after her to make things right and my mom went with him to help. But Mary’s mom is a lot like Sharon and so there was a time when it looked like they were going to have to break up a mom fight in Mary’s front yard. Course, now they’re thick as thieves and grandchild obsessed.”

  Tuesday nodded, getting it. “At first glance Diana is sort of earth mothery. It’s sort of cute. But she’s very intense and detail oriented, too. But she would cut anyone who tried to mess with her family. Once I got sent home from an after-school camp thing because of my hair. My mom, well she and my dad actually, flipped her lid. She went down there and scared them all into backing off.”

  “Your hair?”

  “Yes. It was natural, like it is now. The head teacher there told me it looked messy and that my mother needed to do something with it. My mother was all calm as she came in, holding my hand. The woman, she tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. My mother just looked at her like she was a bug. It was awesome.”

  “I’m still hung up on this hair thing. It was all curly? Like it is now? And they didn’t like that? Your hair is fucking beautiful. You’re a goddamn goddess and now I want to punch someone in the face for making any child of any type feel bad for something so stupid. Jesus.”

  Oh.

  That was a shot to her solar plexus. She smiled at him, touched and a little tingly, too. People didn’t want to punch people on her behalf. Outside family anyway—her brothers had been happy to punch anyone who needed it. But it was different from Ezra.

  “Yes, only my mother made sure it was taken care of. No children ever left the Easton house unless they were cleaned up and put together. I mean, sometimes it was braided or in puffs like I have now. Anyway, they tried to keep me out, my parents hired an attorney and they let me back in. Imagine that.”

  “I like your mother already.”

  “I like her, too. She’s pretty awesome.”

  * * *

  HE EASED INTO the hot tub alongside Tuesday sliding his arm around the edge of the tub at her back. Steam rose into the air and the stars stood out bright overhead.

  “Thank you for bringing me up here. It’s gorgeous.” He leaned his head back, looking up to the sky. “I’ve been here less than five hours and already I’m more relaxed than I have been in a very long time.”

  They’d had a big dinner with Natalie and Paddy, who’d sneaked off to their bedroom about half an hour before. Which left Ezra and Tuesday alone with a hot tub and a very dark night all around them.

  It was pretty much like Ezra’s birthday instead of Tuesday’s.

  “It’s so quiet out here, especially at night. No lights from a nearby city. It’s like I forget this is what the sky really looks like. I love to camp but Natalie thinks a hotel without Wi-Fi is roughing it.”

  Ezra laughed. “You two seem pretty different but it’s so clear how much you care about one another.”

  “Some people are meant to be part of each other’s lives. Sure, we’re different in some ways. She’s adorable and petite and white and blonde. I am none of those things.”

  He laughed. “Thank God. I like blondes as much as the next guy and she’s beautiful. But you? You’re magnificent. When you’re in the room it’s impossible for me to look at anyone else for longer than a minute or two. Then my attention shifts back to you.”

  She turned her head. Her curls, which she’d put up at the top of her head, brushed against the skin of his arm as she did.

  “I think it counts for you, too.”

  “What does?” He brushed a kiss against her forehead.

  “People meant to be in your life. Before I’d met you, Natalie would talk about you with Mary or Paddy and I was already thinking about you. And then when you came around the corner at Damien’s, you felt right. In my life right then.”

  Then she laughed and it unfroze his muscles. “I’m sorry, am I freaking you out?” She pushed to the other side of the hot tub to face him.

  Her absence was a palpable thing. He liked her moving away from him even less than any wariness at the depth of honesty she dished out on a regular basis. “Don’t go all the way over there. I like you right where you were.”

  She moved back and he relaxed again.

  “I’m not freaked out. I was caught off guard.” He sighed. “I don’t know how to do this.”

  “I bet you hate not knowing things.”

  She was teasing, yes, but it was also an honest statement. It was acceptance.

  “Not knowing is a form of being out of control. But that’s my stuff. It’s not about you.” She knew how to do this thing way better than he did.

  Her features softened. “No pressure. No crazy expectations. Just you and me. We got this.”

  She entwined her fingers with his under the water and neither spoke for some time, just floating and relaxing.

  “Later this week you should come up for a horseback ride.”

  She turned, the water splashing as she straddled his lap. “Really? I’d love to. What day?”

  He laughed. She made him really happy and he got the feeling maybe this was the payoff to a real relationship with someone. This connection and general pleased warmth in their presence. “Well, this was unexpected, but certainly a positive turn. Had I known before that asking you to come and ride horses would end up this way, I’d have asked you a lot more before now.”

  “I love horseback riding. When I was a kid those long car trips to Kentucky were bearable because we’d be able to spend weeks out on horseback once we arrived. You have such beautiful land to ride on, too. It’s seriously so much fun and I’m absolutely accepting, even if you think I’m creepy now because I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get another invite.”

  “Aw, beauty.” He kissed her. He’d known she rode. They’d all gone out as a group a few times and he’d noted she hadn’t appeared to be a novice. But he hadn’t realized how much she liked it. Now that he did, though, well, clearly he needed to spoil Tuesday a little.

  “I feel bad that I haven’t asked you before now. I love getting out and riding horses. They love getting out and about. When the weather is nicer I ride out on horseback instead of taking a truck or the ATV. If you want to ride, come on up. Violet and Loopy always come with me.”

  She laughed. “I bet. Your women like to keep an eye on you.”

  Loopy was currently curled up in her bed in the room behind them. She’d run and played and chased squirrels and birds and got so much attention she’d passed out after dinner.

  “Violet is the disciplinarian. She keeps Loopy in line and out of trouble. It’s very sweet.”

  “Your secret is safe with me.”

  “Which secret is that?” He could barely remember his own name just at the moment. Her breasts, the shape and size only accentuated by the royal-blue swimsuit top, bobbed at the water line and so close to his face he dipped to kiss her cleavage.

  She did that hum, in the back of her throat, though it seemed to vibrate from her belly.

  “You try to be gruff and cranky b
ut I know the real Ezra. Behind all that. The man who took in animals when he was needed. The man with cats named by two silly little girls who love their uncle Ezra very much. The man who makes sure the sweet potatoes he gives to the pigs are made the way they like.”

  He paused, surprised she’d noticed. Embarrassed maybe, but also flattered she saw this as a nice thing.

  “Big Hoss likes them boiled so they’re soft. It’s not a big deal.”

  She cupped his cheeks. “It is a big deal, Ezra.” She brushed her lips over his a moment. “It’s okay, you know, to be proud that you’re a good person.”

  Nope.

  He changed the subject. “Come up to the ranch on Saturday. You’re starting your new space at the craft fair in Portland, right? Come over in the late afternoon. We’ll go for a ride and then have some dinner afterward.” Natalie was throwing a surprise party for Tuesday to celebrate all her recent business successes that following weekend up at Paddy’s place. It fell to Ezra to lure her up. He’d take her on a ride first and then they’d still have plenty of time to go to the party afterward.

  “Yes. I was supposed to start two weeks ago but then there was something weird with the papers and my licensing and all that stuff so I’ll be there bright and early on Saturday morning. I’ll close up at two, so I can be up at your place by five.”

  “All right.” He nearly invited her to sleep over but didn’t. He told himself he’d see how things went over the rest of the trip first, before taking any more steps.

  “You don’t need to make dinner, though. Why don’t I bring up something? I’m working on my pizza dough skills, so I can bring some dough and we can make pizza.”

  Mary had apparently worked up some fantastic menu with Natalie, but he figured if she brought up the dough they could make pizza the next time they were together.

  “Are you good at everything or what?”

  “Ha. No. April, that’s my big sister, she’s so good at baking. I do all right, but she’s got some sort of magic touch. I was totally intimidated by yeast for years so I never made bread until earlier this year when we had pizza when April and her kids and husband were up visiting my parents. I just like being able to make it exactly how I want it. The size I want. The thickness of crust, toppings, all that. It’s not that hard and it’s really so much tastier when you make it yourself.”

  He wasn’t sure why this in particular pushed him past all his limits, but it did. “I want to fuck you.”

  Her grin was quick, but sensual, too. “I can make you pizza on Friday, as well.”

  He stood up, still holding her, his hands cupping her ass as she wrapped her legs around his waist and held on while he got out. Though it was nearly June, it was still cool, especially after dark at that elevation. Steam lifted from her bare skin as he put her down and wrapped a towel around her.

  “Go on inside, I don’t want you to get cold. I’ll turn everything off and put the cover back on.”

  “You’re a very nice man who is about to come really hard.” She leaned in, kissed him and sauntered inside.

  * * *

  TUESDAY HUSTLED INTO the house, grateful for the towel she clutched around herself against the cold.

  She headed into the bathroom to rinse off, stripping free of the suit, trying not to think too deeply on how much they just exposed to one another out there. Or about how tenderness filled the cells she’d figured were long dead since Eric had died.

  Sex was stable ground between them. There were no misunderstandings about it. She wanted it, he wanted it, they had it. He was fantastic in bed. Inventive. Dirty and darkly sexual. He knew where everything was and what to do with it—boy did he—and she never held back physically. Not ever. Because he’d earned that trust.

  Feelings were something else. It was a lot harder to share those than her body.

  He’d protected her from the cold. He’d invited her to ride horses. He’d been giving and wonderful and it had filled her with contentment.

  But he was still scared and held back. Or maybe he was too guilt laden to accept that he had a right to be happy. It was frustrating, but it was who Ezra was. She had to be patient because the longer she knew him the more she believed he was worth it.

  He came in as she exited the bathroom wrapped in a robe. The long, leisurely look he took from her toes to the top of her head. A caress of a look that made her knees rubbery.

  “I’ll be right back. Going to hang these trunks up in the tub and rinse the chlorine off.”

  “I’ll go out with Loopy if you like. So she can get settled for the night.”

  He stalked to her and did that thing where he hauled her close. It was so physical and dominant but it made her feel cosseted, too, because the look in his eyes was pure appreciation for what he saw.

  “You’re far too delicious, beauty. I want to gorge on you.”

  Her breath caught wherever her words had gone to.

  He kissed her and stepped back. “Loopy.”

  The dog obeyed like everyone else seemed to. She looked up at him with that same silly expression they all did, too.

  He knelt and got eye to eye with the dog, who licked him and Tuesday stifled an aww.

  “Tuesday will take you out. Behave and obey her.”

  Loopy licked him again and Ezra petted her head before he stood to speak to Tuesday. “Thank you.”

  He headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself.

  She put on some flip-flops and opened the sliding glass door. “Go on. There are so many bushes and trees out there, Loop. Let’s see how many of them you can mark before we go back home.”

  Loopy gave a muted, but happy bark and trotted out with Tuesday, across the expansive back deck and down into the yard where she sniffed a lot of stuff and finally decided where the perfect spot was.

  “Your dad is a big old softy,” Tuesday said quietly as the dog returned to her side, ready to go back into the house.

  A furry head butt told her Loopy knew this already.

  “Come on then. Don’t peek for the next hour. Okay, maybe two.”

  Loopy headed to her bed, which Ezra had set up in the short hallway between the master bedroom and the back porch and mudroom. It was still private, but she wasn’t lying and staring up at Ezra and Tuesday getting down.

  Two circles and Loopy settled with a happy sigh as Tuesday made sure her water dish was full. Her rawhide was in the bed with her, as it was a sort of comfort object.

  As Tuesday started back toward the main part of the bedroom, it hit her that she was beginning to accumulate little factoids about Ezra’s animals. And about Ezra, too.

  Before she could pretend not to think about it, the bathroom door opened and Ezra came out.

  Totally and utterly naked.

  “Honestly, Ezra.” She shook her head, motioning his way. “How can you constantly be this much? I don’t know if my heart can take it.”

  The smirk on his lips was 100 percent male smug satisfaction.

  “You know how hot you are, don’t you? You like that you make me all stuttery and silly and breathless.”

  He tugged the tie at her waist and the robe fell open.

  “I like that you want what I have to give you.”

  Heat flashed through her at his words.

  She shimmied enough to let the robe drop, leaving her as naked as he was. “Now, I’ve had this thing in mind all day. Can you help me out?”

  “Mmm, you have trouble written all over you. I need a lot of whatever you’re about to lay on me.”

  She slid a hand over his abdominal muscles, enjoying the heat of his skin, the soft caress of hair as she brushed from his belly button to his nipples, playing with the barbells there.

  “Did this hurt?” she asked, before leaning close to drag her teeth across first one nipple and then the other.

  He rumbled and she smiled against his skin. By that point he knew she loved it when he made the sound. Sometimes she knew he made it just to tease her, which was hotte
r than hot. But right then he felt it right down to his toes.

  “The piercings?” His voice had gone desire-rough.

  She hummed her yes.

  “Yes. For a moment and then it’s something else. Your body reacts to the pain and releases all that pleasure to counteract. It’s how I feel after an hour or two in a tattoo chair. High on body chemicals and pain.”

  She kissed up his neck. He may have made his own wheatgrass shots and lived a life outdoors and full of physical labor these days, but Ezra did love the rush, the head change.

  He put a palm on her chest, between her breasts. “Didn’t you feel it when you got ink?”

  She nodded. “Parts of it. The drone of the tattoo machine. The vibration of it. It’s hypnotic. Sometimes when I meditate and it’s very deep and I achieve this sort of total peace. It’s a warm wave of pleasure. There are parts of getting a tattoo that are like that. Other parts hurt and you just have to endure it until they move away from that spot.”

  She dragged her nails down his belly and he sucked in a breath.

  “You had a thing on your mind you needed my help with?”

  She dropped to her knees and looked up his body with a smile.

  “I can definitely help you with this thing.”

  Grabbing him at the root, she angled him to lick across the head and then around the crown.

  He locked his knees and his thigh muscles bulged against her palm where she braced herself for balance. She moaned and he groaned, which made her do it again.

  She licked and took him a little deeper each time she pulled back and started again. Over and over.

  Tuesday loved this. Loved being all about giving pleasure to her partner. Loved, too, being on display in a sense, being seen and thought of as beautiful and sexy.

  This man made her feel like a goddess. That there was no one like her. She took him as deep as she could.

  His fingertips dug into her shoulders.

  “Fuck yes,” he snarled, and this driving desire to please him, to make him feel good filled her.

  All her attention focused on him, on the feel of him against her tongue, on the sound of his breath getting more and more ragged the closer she dragged him to orgasm.