Broken Open

by Lauren Dane

  She took his hand. “But we have that sort of supersizzling zingy thing. You know what I mean. We click. You can’t plan for that. That’s not how this works. Important people come to you when you aren’t expecting them.”

  He slid his palm around the back of her neck. “I find that I need you. I don’t know how to need like that anymore. Not healthily anyway.” There was so much anguish in his tone,

  She tiptoed up and touched her forehead to his. She wanted to tell him it was okay to crave her. But she needed him to understand it on his own first. She kissed him and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as they stood quietly for some time while they both remained in their thoughts.

  * * *

  SHE TURNED SO THAT they walked side by side, once again moving back down the trail toward the house. Again, after pushing him and then knowing exactly when to back off. Part of him was in awe of her ability while he still resented that she could be so goddamn sure of herself in the wake of all she’d experienced.

  “There you are!” Paddy raised a hand to wave as Ezra and Tuesday came down from the fork in the trailhead that led down to the house.

  “Was there doubt?” Ezra checked to be sure the bowls of water and food Loopy ran for were full and tried to get his shit together after that talk he’d just had on the trail.

  “We woke up and you were quiet. We figured you were still in bed. Nat went up to see if you wanted coffee and that’s when she saw the note that you’d gone out on a hike.”

  “We’ve been out since six this morning. Had breakfast and a snack. Gloried in nature.”

  Paddy looked at Ezra and rolled his eyes. “Looked at Tuesday’s butt a lot.”

  Tuesday raised a brow his way. “Of course he did. Do you think I wore these shorts by accident?” She turned to Ezra. “I’m going in search of coffee. Would you like some?”

  Some of the tension left his spine. It was okay between them again.

  “Yes, please.” And for good measure, he watched her ass as she went up the steps and into the house. Holy shit he was one lucky man.

  Still grinning, he turned to Paddy. “Hey. Have you guys eaten yet?”

  “I made us toast.”

  “I’ll make waffles for some brunch since it’s our last full day up here. Come on.”

  “Wait. Ez, things are really good between me and Natalie and I wanted to thank you. You said what I needed to hear even when it wasn’t easy. Even when I was a dick to you. You pushed me to make things right with her and I did. Thank you. Really.”

  Ezra nodded. “Anytime. Don’t fuck it up. She loves you. She trusts you with her heart.”

  “I know. Crazy as it is, she does. Makes me so lucky. So. I watched you two as you came around that bend up there and around. I’m not used to seeing you be that open with someone outside the family. This is more than just dating, huh? Makes sense I guess. You two have been dancing around each other since you first met last November.”

  “September. I met her in September. I kissed her for the first time in December and I haven’t stopped thinking of her since. It’s nice. This is what grown-ups do.” They’d just shared some deep shit out there on the trail and over the course of this trip and he wasn’t ready to start examining it too closely on the front porch with his brother, who was love drunk anyway. “Now, let’s see if there’s a waffle iron here.”

  Paddy put a hand on Ezra’s forearm as he passed. “You’ve listened to me moon around about a lot of stuff over the sum of our lives, Ez. You’ve given me great advice. You’ve pulled me out of a hundred binds. Hell, you’ve pulled us all out of hundreds of binds. You have three brothers who are ready and able to listen and help. I’m making the offer on behalf of all of us so you don’t even need to ask.”

  Paddy had done a lot of growing up over the past nearly year he’d been with Natalie. Ezra patted his brother’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “TUESDAY, BABE, YOUR phone is ringing.” Paddy said this as he wandered past, dropping said phone in her lap.

  She’d been so wrapped up in how Ezra’s forearms looked as he shuffled a deck of cards she hadn’t even heard her phone.

  But this was a call she couldn’t get away with ignoring.

  Tuesday slid her finger along the screen, answering. “Sorry about that! I wasn’t near my phone when it started ringing.”

  Her mom wasn’t having any excuses. “I expected you to call this morning. We left a message last night.”

  What could Tuesday say? I could have called you back but my boyfriend was probably fucking me from behind while he held my wrists and snarled at me about how gorgeous my ass was when you called the first time.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Her mother accepted the apology and once it had been offered genuinely, she moved on. “I’m calling to see what you want me to make for dinner next weekend.”

  Oh crap. She’d totally forgotten about her birthday dinner at her parents. She was totally going to hell for that.

  “How about butter chicken?” Time-consuming, Tuesday knew, but her mother considered every child’s birthday dinner to be worth a great deal of effort and planning. She was a scary machine sometimes.

  Her father hooted in the background. “You owe me twenty bucks!”

  “I do?” Tuesday asked. “Hang on a second,” she told her mother and then looked toward everyone else as she got up. “Excuse me.”

  Tuesday headed to the kitchen. “I was in a room with several people. I needed to excuse myself.” Talking on the phone in the company of other people was one of Tuesday’s pet peeves. Which she got from her mother.

  “You don’t owe me a twenty, sweetie pie. Your mother does. I told her you’d head straight to butter chicken. Your mom figured you’d ask for something easier to make and she’d have to talk you into butter chicken. My baby girl is herself again. She knows how to ask for what she wants. Isn’t that what I said, Di?”

  “That’s exactly what he said. I said of all six of my children you were the one who always tried to put everyone else first. I already have an order in for the chicken. I’ve got potatoes and cauliflower for aloo gobi and I bought some mango chutney at the farmers’ market last weekend. Can you pick up naan on your way up?”

  In the span of a six-minute phone call her mother had chastened her for not paying proper attention and then she’d complimented her and also underlined for Tuesday how much her parents loved her.

  “You’re like the Jedi Lord of mothering. You know that, right?”

  Diana laughed, clearly touched. “That’s a good one. I’m going to have to add it to the list. Thank you, baby. I sure do love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  “Going to be a full house. GJ and Alana, Shawn and Tisha. All the kids.”

  Her older brothers and their families lived in Seattle. She saw them frequently as her niece and nephews were all active in after-school activities so Tuesday spent a lot of dutiful auntie time in school gyms and multipurpose rooms along with huddling in the rain watching games of all sorts.

  It pleased Tuesday to know they’d all be coming down to help celebrate her birthday.

  “Will Natalie be coming? I think it’s far beyond time she bring this boy to meet us. Your father was just saying he hoped she didn’t plan to make any rash decisions until he’d had the chance to look the boy over.”

  Nat would be so touched to hear about this conversation. It didn’t matter that Patrick Hurley was in his thirties, he’d be a boy to them. And until he passed her father’s muster, he’d never be referred to by name.

  “I’ll ask her. She’s here now.”

  “We’ll hang on. Is the boy there?”

  Tuesday wisely withheld a giggle. “Yes, Paddy’s here with Natalie.” She paused and then just leaped forward. “I’m seeing someone. I’m going to ask him to come along. He may not be able to. I just wanted to let you know so you made enough food.”

  Oh my god.

  She’d jus
t babbled so badly her mother would totally know everything Tuesday didn’t want to address.

  “Are you now?”

  “I didn’t tell you yet because I didn’t actually know what it was until recently.” An hour ago. Maybe two weeks earlier when she’d asked him to the mountains and he’d said yes. Or before. Maybe. Probably.

  It wasn’t that Ezra knew. He was freaked the fuck out. She saw it out on the trail. Scared and ashamed and guilt laden. And God help her, she wanted him to let her in. Wanted to soothe him and pet him. Wanted to poke at him until he saw the truth of what they were to one another.

  She shook her head. It didn’t matter. “I wanted to tell you in person but he’s here so when I go out to ask Natalie, I’ll invite everyone.”

  “All right.”

  Her mother not homing in on something this potentially juicy? She clearly had other plans. Not knowing was sort of scary.

  “I’ll call you right back. I promise.”

  “You’d best.”

  Tuesday hung up and tucked her phone into a pocket. Loopy looked up from her place at Ezra’s feet.

  “Hey, Loop.”

  “Did Diana yell at you?” Nat teased.

  “She called and left a voice mail last night. I meant to call her today but my schedule wasn’t compatible with hers.” Tuesday snickered. “Your presence has been requested for the official birthday dinner feast not this coming weekend but the Saturday after. I’ve also been instructed to inform you the boy needs to be brought around for inspection. Greg says you best not be making any hasty decisions until Patrick passes muster.”

  Paddy raised a brow Natalie’s way.

  “Greg and Diana are Tuesday’s parents. They’re sort of like mine, too, in some ways,” Nat explained.

  Tuesday looked to Ezra. “I don’t know what your schedule looks like so it’s cool if you’re busy, but if you aren’t, there’s a seat at the table for you. My mom is making butter chicken and aloo gobi. For this alone, you should come. But also, my birthday cake is always double chocolate, chocolate chip cake with chocolate frosting. My dad is the baker. He is sort of genius with roofs and with baking.”

  She probably should stop speaking.

  He smiled at her, slow and easy. To an outsider it was a nice smile. But she saw the pleasure there. The sight of that brought her shoulders down a little as she lost some of the anxiety she’d had.

  “I’m not busy on Saturday. Or, well I guess I am now. We staying over? Or should I get a hotel and we pretend we’re not sleeping together?”

  She and Natalie both burst out laughing. “They’re super old-fashioned in some ways. But not that one. Their house will be full already, though. Both my brothers who live in Seattle will be there with their wives and kids. We can get a hotel room and then I won’t feel weird.”

  “Heaven forfend you feel weird.” Natalie winked.

  “Hush up or I’ll tell them you and Paddy need a place to sleep and you’ll get the garage with the air bed. You can try to sleep while my dad watches reruns of Hill Street Blues and cracks peanuts over your head.”

  “You are evil. That’s all I gotta say.” Natalie said this but through a gale of laughter so it wasn’t like Tuesday took it seriously.

  “I’ll be right back. I told them I’d ask and then call again.”

  “You can call in here,” Ezra said.

  “If my mother ever thought I was having a phone conversation in a room full of people who were my guests she’d kick my butt. Plus they’re going to ask questions about you and I need to answer and not blush. If I do, she’ll hear it in my tone.”

  He got up and stalked to her. She was so surprised she stood rooted to the spot. Ezra caught her around the waist and walked her from the room. Around the corner he backed her against the wall.

  “Are you insinuating I make you blush?” he asked in a low tone.

  “Only when I have blood in my face to blush with. Right now it’s all south of my belly button.”

  He paused and then laughed, leaning in to kiss her. “All right then. My work here is done.” He stepped back. “Make your call. I’m going to work on a few ideas on how to make you blush even more.”

  “I’d complain about you being incorrigible or whatever, but I can’t really find anything to dispute in your statement. So, you go on and get to brainstorming. I’m going to call my mother. By the way, they’re going to refer to you, and to Paddy, as the boy until you pass inspection. This is the cross anyone dating an Easton has to bear.”

  She petted his beard a moment, pleased at how it felt and that he stood still and allowed her to pet him the way she did.

  “She’s going to love you, though. I can tell already.”

  “Why? Does she have exceptional taste?”

  “She does actually. But you’re handsome. You work hard. You have fantastic facial hair. You’re charming. She loves a pretty, charming man.”

  He kissed her again and swatted her butt. “I am a charming man, beauty. It’s a curse, but someone has to do it.”

  She called her parents back to let them know three more would be attending the birthday dinner.

  “Jim and Brenda say you can sleep over at their place. You can all stay here, too. Just bring a sleeping bag.”

  It wasn’t as if she never had. She’d slept on the couches in the bonus room at her parents’ house with her friends dozens of times. But this was different. She liked having him all to herself at the end of the day. Like a delicious secret.

  And after a day with them she’d need to escape. She loved her family. They were important to her. But no one could get to her and hammer at all her insecurities like her family.

  “Thank them for me. And yes, I’ll thank them, too.” Jim and Brenda lived three houses down. Their sons were close with the two oldest Easton boys. The Cuthbarts were for all intents and purposes, her family, too. “We’ll get a hotel and come back for breakfast Sunday.”

  “How long have you been seeing this boy?” her father demanded.

  “No, Dad, Nat is seeing that boy.”

  Her mother whooped a laugh, along with her dad once he’d got the joke.

  “Nicely done. Now, who is this man you’re seeing?” Her father’s teasing lilt hardened to steel.

  “He’s Paddy’s brother.” All kidding about that boy aside, they knew who Natalie was seeing. She was considered part of the family. They’d have looked closely at who Paddy was. What he did. “I met him in September. He runs the family ranch.”

  “And you said—”

  “Enough. Greg, leave it be,” her mother interrupted sharply.

  “It needs to be discussed, Di.”

  “I am aware of that.”

  Tuesday broke in. “If you two can hold off for a moment. I’m right here. On the phone. Stop talking about me like I’m helpless.”

  This was one of the reasons she liked staying in a hotel when she went up for some big dinner-type thing at her parents’ house. They wanted to wrap her in cotton and protect her from all the hurts in the world. Which was their job when she was growing up, she got that. But man it drove her nuts as an adult.

  Probably just a little because she felt better when they did it, a reminder that she could always go home and her mom would make her grilled cheese and tomato soup and let her watch sitcom reruns all day until things got better.

  Which she’d done for about three months.

  They’d gone out to scatter Eric’s ashes and something had just sort of given out inside. They saw her at the lowest point of her life. Natalie told her once that seeing Tuesday broken and aimless and not being able to reach her for so long had been a terrible nightmare.

  Her annoyance wisped away. They loved her. They never wanted her to go through any of that mess and so she needed to give them some space to feel however they wanted about it.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

  “Always had the best manners of all six. Thank you, punkin,” her father said.

/>   Her mother broke in. “Your dad and I know you’re not helpless. But you’re our child and you’ve had some hurts to swallow. We worry. It’s our job to worry. Daddy and I watched you fade and fade to little more than a shadow. You haven’t brought us a man, or even talked about one, since Eric. We can talk about it another time. I know you’re there with your friends and it’s your birthday. We love you, Tuesday Marie.”

  “I love you, too.”

  She hung up, leaning against the wall for a few moments, her eyes closed as she mended herself once more.

  With a long exhalation, she pushed away and headed back out to the living room where her friends played cards, laughing and trash talking. With a smile, she let herself enjoy the butterflies of a new relationship as she slid herself into the chair next to Ezra.

  “When you three are done losing to one another, deal me in again.”

  “Bold words, beauty.” Ezra winked as he shuffled the cards and tossed one her way. “Let’s see what you got then.”

  He’d already seen it.

  He grinned as he looked down at his hands and she knew that had been exactly what he was thinking.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  TUESDAY AND NATALIE settled at their table. “I’m not going to play around with some wussy little single margarita. I need a pitcher,” Natalie announced.

  Since Nat rarely drank, this was a signal of a really tough week. “Uh-oh. Problems with Mr. Hurley?”

  They’d been back from the mountains a few days and both Tuesday and Nat had been playing catch-up at work after their short absence.

  They stopped talking long enough to order a pitcher of mango margaritas and their food before returning to their conversation.

  Natalie’s face got all schmoopy with the starry eyes and softened mouth so Tuesday figured it wasn’t a Hurley-related problem.

  “No, it’s a work thing. Grant time. You know how that goes. I’ve just spent a lot of time on math today and my brain is broken.”

  “Gotcha.”

  Her phone buzzed and she looked down to see Kelly’s number. “It’s Kelly. She’s coming out tomorrow afternoon to pick up some more pieces and wants to know if we want to get lunch with her.”