Broken Open

by Lauren Dane

  “Eat it, Ezra. You can’t divert my attention from the real subject here. Why is it so hard for you to share with us? Huh? How many times have you listened to us? Or is it okay for you to fix us but not the other way around? You don’t think we have anything to offer you?”

  He’d only recently learned that Paddy measured himself against his big brother. It had made Ezra proud to have earned that back after he’d done so much to destroy it before. Ezra figured that might be the source of at least part of why his brother was so agitated.

  Still, it frustrated him to be accused of trying to hide whatever it was he had with Tuesday.

  “Tuesday’s more to you than some chick you drive to bang when you get the itch. That’s what I meant. I didn’t say you had to marry her.”

  “Take it easy, Paddy.” Damien rarely interrupted, but in this case, Paddy snorted.

  “He’s right. Yes, Patrick, Tuesday is more to me than a woman I only occasionally see for sex when I feel like it and when she feels like accepting my offer. Is that what you wanted to know?”

  “No. I want you to be honest. I want you to think we’re worth that.”

  “Okay then. Once every few weeks I used to head to Portland because there’s a woman there who I liked fucking. She liked being fucked. She liked it a little rough and that’s what I had for her. I never met her friends. I never mentioned her name to you or anyone I know. Everyone got off and no one cared much beyond those hours we spent together. That was all I needed.”

  “Maybe it was all you allowed yourself to need.”

  Ezra turned to Damien. “I don’t know. Maybe. But whatever it was, why ever I did it, it’s not happening anymore. I haven’t seen her since late last year. I don’t crave her. I don’t miss her or think about her. Makes me sort of a cock for fucking a woman I didn’t really care to know, but I’m guessing she felt the same.”

  “I think it’s interesting you use the word crave.”

  Loopy jumped up with a happy bark as Vaughan came in with his dog Minnie. Minnie was a corgi so Loop was about three times her size, but it didn’t seem to get her down.

  “The prodigal Hurley returns. Pull up a plate and something to drink. We’re poking Ezra about his love life,” Paddy said as he got up to refill his plate.

  “It’s times like these I miss getting drunk, fighting a bunch of assholes in an alley behind a crappy little dive and crashing with a black eye and blood on my shirt in bed as the sun came up. Life was simpler back then.”

  Everyone got uncomfortably silent at Vaughan’s words until Ezra started to laugh. Normally they tended to avoid the subject of his addiction and sobriety. Even after all the therapy. They didn’t want to hurt one another, which was a nice thing, he thought most days.

  That day it made him laugh and it was the perfect response.

  “It’s okay to laugh, you know. I’m not going to run out and buy heroin because Vaughan brings up our storied and violent past. But if I do you can blame him in therapy. I will.”

  He hugged his baby brother on his way back into the living room.

  They all settled in once again and felt surprisingly normal considering all the stuff going on for each man in the room.

  Paddy wasn’t one to let it go, so of course he got back to poking at Ezra. “To catch up, I was remarking on your use of the word crave.”

  “Why? It’s a good word.”

  “It’s a good word for me. Or Damien. But you? Well it’s a loaded word.”

  Ezra didn’t say much for a while.

  “Needing something on that level isn’t stable ground for a junkie.”

  Paddy nodded. “Fair enough. Do you see the situations as similar?”

  “I know the difference between a woman and drugs.” Though he wondered if quitting Tuesday wouldn’t actually be harder than kicking junk.

  “Stop being such a defensive dick. I might even agree if you were a junkie. But you aren’t. You used to be. Now you’re just a grumpy asshole who could be getting laid a lot more regularly but would rather punish himself by holding what he needs away to prove some sort of point that does not matter. You kicked heroin. Tuesday is not drugs. She’s not an addiction. You’re not out of control for liking a woman a lot,” Damien said, feeding the cats.

  “You guys stop feeding the cats from your plates.” Damien had hit the mark on several of those comments and Ezra would rather not focus on that right then.

  “Whatever.”

  “I’m going to spoil the fuck out of all your goddamn kids. Know that right now.”

  Vaughan snorted. “Too late. My girls already have more shit than they need and it’s got Hurley written all over it. Kelly’s family are assholes, but you people send my kids so much stuff. I had no idea how much stuff until I was at their house on a daily basis.”

  “Yeah, so what’s going on with that?” Ezra leaned forward.

  “Nope. I’m here to talk about you. And to pick up mail and some clothes. The girls are up with Mom and Dad having pizza and when that’s over, I’m taking them home because they have school and Kelly will punch me in the throat if they’re back after nine.”

  “Are you living there now?”

  “In the guest room. But again, first we talk about Ezra and then I’ll talk about what’s going on in Gresham.”

  “There’s not much more to say. I have what I guess you’d describe as a girlfriend. It’s far more serious than anything I’ve done before and I’m mainly okay with that. It’s not like no one knows about it. Hell, Paddy and his girlfriend just spent four days with me and Tuesday. I’m done talking about it. Thank you for being concerned.”

  Paddy used his middle finger to salute that comment. “I’m more nosy than concerned. I figure you two have it handled. She’s got as much dark, tragic backstory as you do but she’s strong. She doesn’t take your shit, which I like.”

  Vaughan hooted. “Ha! Do tell.”

  As his brothers started teasing him about how Tuesday managed his grumpiness without too much effort, Ezra looked around the room and was totally content. It wouldn’t be that perfect moment all the time. They’d fight; they always did. But it never failed to click back to this connection and closeness they all shared.

  And that was something to count on. Something he did count on all the time. He’d get through this whatever with Tuesday. They had something. A draw to one another she’d said and had been right.

  But no matter how that turned out, he always had his family. And that meant everything.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  SHE SHOWED UP at his door in her most flattering jeans, a button-down shirt she knew made her boobs look righteous and her boots. When he opened, his gaze lingered on her cleavage—which is why she’d worn the shirt—and then up to her face.

  “Hey, come in.”

  He pulled her into a hug once she’d got inside and it felt like coming home. And then the fear came. She had this thing, this wonderful sense of belonging with someone. It was something she wondered if she’d ever have again with a man. It had been difficult to live without that after Eric died. If Ezra walked away after this...

  “You smell good,” he murmured into her hair.

  She kissed the side of his neck. “You taste good. Happy Saturday, Ezra.”

  He stepped back after one last kiss and suddenly three furry bodies were there, each demanding attention. Laughing and feeling much better, she knelt to deliver love to everyone else who lived in Ezra’s house.

  “Okay, guys, leave Tuesday be.” Ezra helped her to stand. “You want to head out now to ride?”

  It had only been since Monday that she’d seen him last. Four days. It wasn’t that long at all. Hell, the week before they’d gone up to the mountains she had only seen him once and it hadn’t seemed like a big deal.

  But this time, wow, she’d missed him.

  “I’m a little embarrassed at how excited I am to go out riding.”

  He grinned. “Figured as much. I asked one of my hands to get th
e horses saddled up and ready for us.”

  He did?

  “I might have to thank you in my own special way for being so thoughtful.”

  “Counting on that, beauty.”

  He took her hand and they went through the house and out the sliders in the kitchen. Loopy accompanied them and the cats preferred a sunny spot on the kitchen floor for a nap.

  “Is Violet coming along?” Tuesday asked as they headed down the steps from the deck to the yard and land beyond.

  “She is. Loopy will keep her in line and from digging up any of my plants. She and I had a tangle about that at first.” He opened the gate of the pigpen and she came trotting out in all her pale pink glory.

  She butted her head against Ezra as she passed and he patted her. She did a turn around Tuesday and then stopped, even with Loopy, ready to go.

  “She needs a cowboy hat I think. Do pigs get sunburn?”

  Ezra laughed. “She’d eat a cowboy hat and her bristles, the hair? It protects her. She’s good.”

  He took Tuesday’s hand again and the four of them headed to the stables.

  As promised, the horses were ready when they arrived. Right down to the same horse she’d ridden before, Peaches.

  “I noticed you rode Peaches last time. She’s mellow and pretty hard to spook. This saddle is probably better than the last one, though.”

  She stepped to Peaches and took in the details of the saddle. “Probably better? Ezra. This is like a Rolls-Royce saddle of some type.”

  And for whatever reason she knew he’d got it for her. The saddle wasn’t one just sitting around waiting to be used in some tack room.

  He made a sound, like a harrumph but he didn’t quite commit to it. She ran her fingertips over the delicate design burned into the leather and that’s when she saw the dragonfly near the pommel.

  Swallowing hard, she looked away from the saddle to find him watching her intently. “Happy birthday.”

  Jesus. Her heart beat so fast she felt faint.

  “This is a pretty big gift. You know that, right?”

  “I have a few dollars in the bank to buy a saddle for a beautiful woman if I want to.”

  “Savings from not having to buy beer over the last years?”

  Surprise scattered over his expression and then he laughed, hugging her. “Exactly. My accountant said kicking heroin and quitting drinking was a great retirement savings.”

  She sobered a little, tiptoeing up to kiss him. “Thank you, Ezra. This is really lovely.” And it was. Thoughtful. He paid attention to what she liked and didn’t. Extravagant.

  The old Tuesday might have balked at a present like this. But she wasn’t that person. And this man, well he wasn’t Eric. And thank goodness the Hurleys weren’t crazy like the Heywoods.

  Briefly she wondered if she should share all this business with her former in-laws but decided against it. She wanted it to keep being a good day.

  “I wanted you to know you could come up here to ride anytime you wanted. Even if I’m not here. I figured if you had your own saddle you’d know I really meant it.”

  She blew out a breath and he hugged her to him again. “Thank you.”

  * * *

  “HOW’D YOU GET such a perfect seat?”

  He looked back over his shoulder. “I spend a lot of time looking at your ass. I know it quite well.”

  He really did. It was like they’d measured her butt themselves.

  “Okay then. Well, you have a good memory because it’s really comfortable.” Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Again. She pulled it out, saw it was yet another text from Tina. Tuesday turned off the notifications and tucked it away.

  “Everything okay?”

  He was a very perceptive person when it came to how other people were feeling.

  She nodded. “Just wanted to turn off the notifications so I won’t get a buzz each time a text comes in.”

  “Good. We can make adjustments to the saddle. It’ll take you a while to get used to it. We’ll see how Peaches takes it but she seems to be fine. Let me know if she’s acting like it’s rubbing or fitting her wrong, okay?”

  “I’ve been watching her for cues she’s uncomfortable but nothing so far.” Tuesday ran her hand over her horse’s neck. “She’s an awesome horse.”

  Like all women around Ezra, Peaches was amenable and mellow. Though his horse wasn’t. Randy, which was such a weird horse name, was one of those fiery stallions you read about in books. Muscled and powerful, he was tall and definitely as cocky and arrogant as the man on his back.

  Once they’d cleared the residential part of the ranch, they let the horses run awhile. Peaches was awesome because she was like, whatever, when Randy ran way faster.

  “He’s a show-off, Peaches. I think he might have a crush on you. And he should because you’re a very pretty horse with really good manners.”

  It was a gorgeous late-spring day and the sky was heading toward twilight but they had at least an hour or so to stay out and still be safe for the horses.

  “How was it then? Your first day?” he asked of her stall.

  “It started off slow and I thought, oh no, I thought this was going to be so awesome and now this sucks. But after about two hours it picked up and kept superbusy for the rest of the time. I sold all but one piece. Paid for my gas and the cost of the space and materials and even gave me a small profit.”

  “That’s fantastic. What are you going to do next weekend when you have to go to your parents’ for dinner?”

  “I don’t need to leave until the very end so I’ll go out there in the morning like usual. Believe it or not, Kelly is coming out to close up for me that day.”

  “Kelly? Vaughan’s Kelly?”

  “The same. I was talking to her over lunch yesterday and she volunteered to take over for me. It’s pretty easy. Everything is marked. I think she might want to snag some of the pieces for her store or for herself.” Which was so flattering.

  “So you and Kelly are friends?”

  “Why do you sound so surprised? You’re the one who gave her my number to start with.”

  He nodded. “I did, yep. I knew she was going to talk to you about business stuff and you mentioned it briefly about a jewelry thing with her maybe? I didn’t know it had progressed past that.”

  “She’s one of those people I clicked with immediately. A whole lot of you lately. And you’re all connected in some way, which is even weirder. Like I need another gorgeous blonde girlfriend. I told her it was super inconvenient that she’s so pretty but I liked her anyway. The business thing is that she and her partner are carrying my pieces in both their stores. They’re trying out accessories.”

  “Congratulations. Good for you. And for them because your jewelry is amazing. I’ve been in her Portland store. The partner is a designer, right?”

  “Right. They have a house brand that’s all her stuff. But they sell other labels, too. A lot of local people, which is pretty cool. It’s great exposure for me and the money is nothing to sneeze at.” And it was progress she could see.

  Loopy and Violet had their own little rhythm. They’d run along with the horses—out of trampling distance of course—and then pause to sniff things whenever the spirit led them. When they lagged behind too much, Violet nudged the dog with her nose and they trotted to catch up.

  “They’re like your own camp followers.”

  “The only groupies I’ve had in some time.”

  “Ha!” Well that was just fine and dandy with Tuesday. Natalie and Mary seemed pretty well adjusted and patient with all the groupie stuff. Neither of them liked it one bit, but Natalie said she felt sometimes like oh well, it comes with the territory. But Tuesday had to wonder how she’d react if two women just up and asked Ezra to fuck them both right in front of her like what had happened to Natalie over the holidays.

  Tuesday leaned toward the idea that she’d probably punch someone. Natalie was dignified and shit. Tuesday was nowhere near that dignified. She had a sneaki
ng suspicion she’d have made it worse by punching someone.

  A howl sounded in the distance, breaking her away from visions of punching rude people.

  Peaches skittered sideways and snorted, clearly distressed and it hit her that she was pretty little on the back of a giant animal and she had to get this under control or it could be bad.

  “Ezra,” she called out, trying to stay calm.

  He reined in and turned his horse in a neat set of very quick movements. Loopy’s sweet demeanor changed, her lips drawing back as she bared her teeth in a snarl, which only seemed to make Peaches more nervous.

  “Tighten her up just a little. Knees close against her but don’t squeeze. Let her know you’re there and you’re going to guide her where she needs to be to keep safe.”

  Tuesday really had no idea how she’d execute his very sound advice so she just went all in and hoped for the best.

  * * *

  EZRA WATCHED AS A visibly anxious Tuesday obeyed him to the letter. She spoke soothingly but firmly to Peaches, who reacted, calming. Thankfully, Tuesday was a natural with horses—not everyone was.

  Randy shifted to be even closer to Peaches to protect her, as well. Ezra stroked a palm down his neck.

  “Good girl. Watch.” He gave the order to Loopy, who stood between them and the direction the coyote’s howl came from. She’d rip a coyote to shreds if she could, but if it was bigger than her, or got her by surprise, she could be the one ripped to shreds. He wanted all the creatures under his protection safely away.

  He turned his attention back to Tuesday, who waited, speaking quietly to Peaches. “You did a good job.”

  She laughed but he heard the tension in the sound.

  “Not really anything to do with me. Your super killer guard dog and those step-by-step instructions you gave me worked. Peaches is also a really smart horse.”

  He liked the way she continued to reassure Peaches with touches and praise. Not too much, but enough to relax them both. And he really liked that even when she was clearly scared she handled herself well and did what she needed to. How people reacted in a bind said a lot about who they were.

  “I’m sorry to cut this short, but if there are coyotes out here it’ll just keep spooking the horses. Loopy is a great dog and very well trained but I don’t want her running off thinking to protect us. Violet has no defenses at all on her own.”