I Still Dream About You: A Novel

by Fannie Flagg

  OF COURSE, ETHEL said that with all our problems these days, it was just the beginning of the end for Western civilization. Maybe so, but Maggie, for one, was going to hang on to it for as long as she could because no matter what ugly things people said about it, she liked Western civilization. It was just so civilized. And, okay, maybe we weren’t perfect, but my heavens, hadn’t we given the world movie stars, musical comedies, electricity, baseball, hot dogs and hamburgers, not to mention Disneyland? And if anyone thought women would give up their equal rights now that they had them, they needed to talk to Brenda. She, for one, could tell them that that just wasn’t going to happen. Just like the old iron statue of Vulcan, Maggie would stand up on the hill overlooking the city she loved. And just the other day, she had seen a bumper sticker on a car being driven by a young man that read, LIFE DOESN’T SUCK! Crudely put, perhaps, but the message was certainly hopeful … She hadn’t liked the way she’d started out in life, but she sure loved the way she was ending up. Maggie began to think that maybe she didn’t have to change. Maybe it was all right to be who she was. Just a little bit out of step with the rest of the world, but very happy.

  Then all of a sudden, an idea hit her. Hazel had always said, “Look around and see what the public needs, then supply it.” That was it. She certainly could see the need, and she could supply it. She went to her desk and started to turn on her computer, but then stopped. No, something as important as this should be written by hand; at least the first draft. She pulled out a sheet of paper and started outlining the chapters for her new book entitled:

  Real Estate Etiquette

  by

  Margaret Anne Fortenberry

  Outline

  Chapter One

  For Sellers

  Showing Your Home

  a) Do not remain at home during a showing

  b) Do take your animals and children with you

  c) No dirty dishes left in sink, please

  Chapter Two

  For Buyers

  Looking for a Home

  a) As a courtesy, leave your animals and children at home

  b) No rude comments while attending an open house

  c) If you do not care for the home, try not to insult the real estate agent

  Chapter Three

  For Agents

  a) Leave your animals and children at home

  b) Try not to speak ill of other agents

  c) Do not steal other agents’ listings

  First she would finish the book; then hopefully, she’d enjoy many more years at Crestview; then over to St. Martin’s in the Pines for bridge, lovely bus trips, and maybe golf lessons; and then, too, in the meantime, there was Charles.

  As it turned out, he had been a widower for over six years and had called her and told her he was moving back home for good in a month and would love to take her to dinner. And if that wasn’t a good enough reason to be glad she hadn’t jumped in the river, she didn’t know what was.

  Of course, as the new owner of Crestview, she was now also the new owner of the Crocker skeleton and was left with the responsibility of deciding what to do with it. Maggie thought about that. She knew that if people found out the truth about Edward Crocker, there would naturally be a lot of talk; anything involving someone’s sexual life (dead or alive) was fodder for the worst kind of titillation and gossip, and his life would wind up being just another amusement for people to speculate about; all the good he’d done forgotten, and just the one fact remembered. Maggie decided that he deserved more dignity than that. So in the end, the Edward Crocker legacy would remain exactly as it was: Edward Crocker, a kind and generous human being who had been lost at sea. She would have the remains buried in the gardens below, and they would remain at Crestview with her.

  It was the least she could do.

  Life continued to be full of unexpected surprises. Not more than a month after Babs Bingington bought Red Mountain Realty, her hotshot money manager in New York (the one she had pushed and shoved to get to) was hauled off to jail, and she was completely wiped out in one day. She had to sell everything. It was a terrible blow and quite a comedown, after owning her own agency, to now have to apply for a job as just another agent. She submitted a job application to the brand-new owner of Babs Bingington Realty, Ethel Clipp. No surprise, she was turned down flat.

  As for Maggie, she had heard people say, “Be careful what you wish for, and make sure it’s what you really want.” All her life, Maggie had imagined she would be happy if only she could live in a big beautiful home atop Red Mountain. And whether it was luck or not, she had been right. She loved living in the house as much as she’d dreamed she would, even more so.

  A YEAR LATER, although Maggie was in her living room arranging flowers and couldn’t see her, a skinny ten-year-old girl was visiting the statue of Vulcan with her fifth-grade class. When she looked up and saw Crestview standing up on the mountain for the first time, she thought:

  A. That’s the most beautiful house I have ever seen!

  B. I wonder if it’s haunted?

  C. That’s where I want to live someday.

  The End

  or

  Maybe just the beginning.

  Epilogue

  A few years later

  BIRMINGHAM HAD ELECTED ITS FIRST LADY MAYOR, WHO HAD WON by a landslide. Her campaign slogan: “Compassion … to a point.”

  With Brenda, there was no “three times and you’re out.” With her, it was one time. Two days after she was elected, when she appointed her no-nonsense OA sponsor, Ja’ronda Jones, as the new police commissioner, all three of Brenda’s deadbeat wannabe-rap-star nephews suddenly joined the army.

  The other big news in Birmingham was that at age ninety-three, Ethel Clipp had just been listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest living working real estate agent in the world. Of course, Ethel was furious. She hadn’t wanted anyone to know how old she was.

  Charles and Maggie had married and were very happy. How kind nature is. Just when she was beginning to wrinkle, Charles’s eyesight was beginning to fade. But for Charles, Maggie would never grow old. He would always look at her and see a beautiful young girl in a white evening gown.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  FANNIE FLAGG is a bestselling author as well as an actress, TV producer, speaker, and performer. Her book Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe became a bestseller, as well as a heart-winning major motion picture. Flagg’s script for the film was nominated for an Academy Award and a Writers Guild of America Award, and won the highly regarded Scripter Award. Her other bestselling novels include Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man; Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!; Standing in the Rainbow; A Redbird Christmas; and Can’t Wait to Get to Heaven. She lives happily in California and Alabama.