Ladyfish

by Andrea Bramhall

“Is that really what you want?” Oz tried to keep her face blank and her voice calm, holding back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

  “Yes, that’s what I want. I want to go to London. I want to go and talk to my dad. It’s my decision, and no one else’s.” Oz got to her feet and went to the front door. She slowly pulled it open and spoke without turning.

  “Stay here as long as you need to. I can organize a ride to the airport for you whenever you’re ready.” She closed the door behind her and let the tears fall. If Finn wanted to leave, she wasn’t going to beg her to stay. She was a grown woman, and she could do what she wanted. Maybe she was right. If her father didn’t think she was a threat, he’d leave her alone. Oz had no right to make her live in a military base just because she wanted to protect her. She had no right to expect Finn to stay with her. She would let go and pray to whoever was listening that she had done the right thing.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Oz didn’t know where she was going. She just knew she couldn’t stop. It hurt too much, and she only stopped walking when she came to the obstacle training course. The blood was pumping through her veins, and the need to run was making her muscles twitch. She didn’t think about the darkness descending around her. She didn’t think at all. She just needed to outrun the pain.

  You always knew you weren’t good enough for her, Zuckerman. It’s not a surprise. You knew she would need to get away from you. You have nothing to offer a woman like her.

  Her feet pounded the hard-packed dirt as she started running, her pace fast and furious. She attacked each obstacle with the fury building inside her. Each wall surmounted, and every bridge crossed. Every single inch of the course scoured.

  She dragged herself through the half submerged tunnel and continued running, covered in the foul smelling mud that had lain in the pits for years. Years of doubts and fears, of panic and loneliness kept her company as she ran. She carried on, ignoring the sting of the barbed wire, the scrapes to her hands and knees as she threw herself over the wall and collapsed on the other side of the finish point.

  What I said didn’t matter. Nothing I feel for her matters. It’s everything I’ve done before her that she sees. And I can’t erase that.

  “What you doing here, squirt?”

  Oz opened her eyes to see Charlie looking down at her. She just stared up at him through the haze of self-loathing eating her soul.

  “You needed to blow off a bit of steam, huh?”

  She closed her eyes again before covering them with her arm, her breathing ragged and sweat running down her neck.

  He sat on the grass beside her. “I thought you’d be back at the house with Finn. I know she was planning on cooking you some fancy dinner. You best get over there before it burns.”

  “She doesn’t want me there.”

  Charlie looked at her before he spoke. “She tell you that?”

  Oz shrugged.

  “What happened?”

  Oz didn’t know where to start. She felt the tears well in her eyes again and tried to push herself off the ground, intent on running the course again. Charlie held her arm and pulled her back down on the grass beside him. Then he waited patiently.

  “She said we needed to talk. That she thought going back to England and facing her father was the best way to deal with this whole situation.” She wrapped her arms about her knees and let the tears fall. “I only just found her, Uncle Charlie, and already she doesn’t want me.”

  “That isn’t what she said to you.”

  “Yeah, it is. She said she thought she should go back to England. Without me. She wants to leave me.”

  “No, honey. That’s what you’re hearing. That’s your fear and your own insecurities hearing that she doesn’t want you. If she thinks facing her father is something she should do, I don’t think that’s any reflection on how she feels about you.”

  Oz stared at him like he’d grown a second head.

  “Think about this for a minute. Use the damn brain you’ve got in your head, and just think of what she’s going through. What do you think is really going on in her head right now?”

  “If I knew that, I don’t think I’d be here.”

  “She’s scared. She’s just lost her best friend, the only person she’s had to talk to, to care about, to lean on in how many years?”

  “About twenty.”

  “Right. And it was, probably, her own father that killed him.”

  “I think we all know that it’s more than probably.”

  “Right. And she’s just found out that in all likelihood her father knows about your relationship with her.”

  “I know she’s scared—”

  “Scared? Girl, if I was her I wouldn’t even be functioning right now. She’s trying to resolve her problems the only way she can think of. Whether that solution is right or wrong, she’s got some guts to think of going and facing the old bastard to get him off your back.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Oz, think. Do you really think she wants to go and see the man she thinks has killed her best friend, her mother, and quite possibly turned the work she was doing to treat cancer patients into a biological weapon? Do you really think she wants to do that?”

  “No.”

  “Then why is she prepared to do that?”

  Finn’s words came rushing back to her and managed to penetrate the pain. Finn was willing to do it to make sure she was okay. She was willing to sacrifice herself to keep others safe. “Oh, God. I don’t deserve her.” The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.

  “What the hell are you talking about now?”

  “She’s going through all of this and still thinking about me when all I can think of is myself and how much it hurt when I thought she didn’t want to be with me. I don’t deserve her.”

  Charlie shook his head. “Maybe you don’t. Maybe you should just sit here, stinking like a swamp and rotting in your own self-pity.”

  Oz stared at him.

  “What? Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?” He frowned at her. “Whether you believe you deserve it or not, Finn wants to be with you, and right now she’s terrified that she’s going to lose you like she’s lost her mom and her best friend. Breaking her own heart is probably a price she’s willing to pay to keep you safe. But I can promise you one thing.”

  Oz listened to him, clarity filtering through her self-pity and making her feel sick.

  “You running off will break her heart. Now you have to decide. Are you going to let her walk out of your life or are you going to be the woman I helped raise and stand up and fight for what you believe in?” Charlie got up and walked away. He didn’t look back as he headed toward the small house where Finn was staying. It was only a few seconds before Oz caught up with him.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to try and help a young woman who is suffering, because you don’t seem to be the woman I thought you were, Ladyfish.” He stretched out his stride and moved away from her.

  “Uncle Charlie, please wait.” He paused and turned around staring at her hard. “I need to see her. I need to sort this out with her. I love her.” Oz sucked in a surprised breath. It was true, and it terrified her.

  “Tell her that.”

  “What if she doesn’t want to hear it?”

  “Then I’m on the other end of the phone.” He pulled her into a quick hug. “Go and take care of her. She needs you.”

  *

  Oz knocked on the door before she pushed it open. Finn was crouched in the corner of the room with her arms wrapped around her knees, staring blankly as tears ran down her cheeks. Oz fought back another wave of tears and guilt, crossed the room, and pulled Finn into her arms. Finn made a half-hearted attempt to push her away, but Oz felt her clutching the hem of her shirt.

  “Let me go.”

  Oz released her but didn’t move away. “I’m sorry, Fi—”

  “What are you doing here? I thought you were gone.”
r />   “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left.”

  Finn shrugged, pushing herself back toward the corner. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want you to ever think I’ll leave you. It’s just not going to happen.”

  “Oz—”

  “No, please let me say what I need to, and then if you tell me to go, I will.”

  “Go on then.”

  “When you said you were going to go back to London, I panicked. All I could hear was that you were going far away from me and there would be nothing I could do to protect you because you didn’t want my protection. I was terrified I would lose you. I still am. All I want is to make sure that you’re safe. Nothing is more important to me. I didn’t think about how much pain you were in, and for that I’m more sorry than I can ever tell you. I was selfish and so wrapped up in my own pain that I didn’t actually hear what you were telling me. I only heard that you were leaving me, and that played on my own insecurities. I need to make that right. Whatever you need to do, we’ll figure out a way to make that happen. If you need to go to him, then that’s fine. I’ll come with you—”

  “No. The idea of going to see him is to keep him away from you, not to bring you to him.”

  “Finn, I’m not going to leave your side. If you go to him, we go together. If we stay here, we stay together. If you want to run away and hide, we do it together.”

  “Why?”

  It was the question she’d been dreading, scared that when the time came she wouldn’t be able to answer, but now she felt like she couldn’t hold the words back. “Somewhere in the past month, I’ve fallen in love with you. I don’t want anything to come between us. Not your father, not my fears, and not yours either.” She took Finn’s hand. “I need you.” She stroked her thumb across the back of Finn’s hand. “I really hope you feel the same way about me.”

  Finn was quiet for a long time, just watching her. Sweat trickled down Oz’s back and she fought hard to remain calm. She knew Finn had to decide how far she was willing to trust her. Even scarier, she knew Finn was deciding how much she really cared for her.

  “All my life, people came and went who didn’t care about me. My mother was dead and my father used me to create a weapon. Pete was the only person who loved me. And now he’s gone too.” Finn wiped her tears away and leaned into Oz’s palm on her cheek. “What I want now is someone who won’t leave. A person who wants to be there for all the adventures, who can’t wait to see me at the end of the day. I want someone I can depend on, Oz.”

  Oz pressed her fingers to Finn’s lips before lifting her chin. Looking deeply into her eyes, sparkling with unshed tears and emotion, Oz knew with all her heart that she wanted to give Finn everything she needed. All the things she wanted. She felt the emptiness that had settled in her soul dissolve and the sense of belonging that had always been missing fill the void.

  “But I don’t want you to get hurt. If anything were to happen to you, I don’t think I could live with myself.”

  She brushed Finn’s lips with her own. “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I was in the navy, remember? I can take care of both of us. Just say you’ll let me stay with you. Please.”

  Finn wrapped her arms around Oz’s neck and cried against her. She mumbled something Oz couldn’t make out.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I can’t tell what you’re saying.”

  Finn pulled back slightly. “I said, I love you too.”

  Oz held her close, smiling even as tears of relief coursed down her cheeks. “Then we’ll figure it out.”

  “How?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then here’s my plan. We stay here. On the base. We carry on exactly like we were planning to do before. We go diving, you finish your courses, and we spend more time together. You’re going to tell me everything you remember about Pete, and we’ll have a memorial for him if you like. And we’re going to wait.”

  “But—”

  “We’re going to wait until Charlie has more information. We’ll talk to him and my dad, and we’ll work together to find the best way to keep us all safe.”

  “So your great plan is to do nothing?”

  “No, it’s to bide our time and not run off without all the information. The last mission I went on was a fairly routine repair to a cargo vessel. They were more than four hundred miles from the nearest port that could handle them. They’d damaged the prop shaft and had to replace it. The onboard repairs were all done, but they didn’t have a qualified dive team to do the underwater final fix. The boat I was on was only a hundred miles or so from them so we offered our help. What else do you need to know, right?”

  “What happened?”

  “Rudy and I were the team that did the repairs. Really simple job. Just welding the new prop shaft in place and connecting the old prop. After the repairs were complete, we went aboard the cargo vessel to make sure the repairs were holding and we didn’t need to go back down. Sometimes the tech crew would do that, sometimes we did. Depended on the repair. This time we did. As soon as we got on the deck, we were in trouble. There were guns pointing at us and we had no communications with our own ship. Pirates. The crew had deliberately sabotaged their own prop shaft in the hope of getting rid of the pirates and getting help. Instead, they got me and Rudy.”

  “Go on.”

  “We were being taken down into the ship where they were holding the crew as hostages. We knew that if we ended up there…Well, it wasn’t going to end well. Rudy made a really quick move and managed to get a gun off one of them. All I had was my dive knife. I stabbed one of them, took his own gun, and shot him with it.” She took a deep breath. “There were seven of them all together. We’d already taken out two, but we had to get to the bridge to get help from our own guys. There were two more pirates watching the door where the hostages were being held in the dining hall. We shot them and freed the hostages. They directed us to the bridge and we told them to stay where they were. They’d be safer there. When we got to the bridge they were armed with automatics. Rudy got shot pretty bad but managed to take out one of them. I got another and then got Rudy out of the line of fire.”

  “Oz, you don’t have to tell me—”

  “Yes, I do. I could hear our guys over the radio trying to find out what was going on. They’d heard the gunshots and were obviously concerned. I knew we just needed to hold on for a little longer. I dragged Rudy behind a bulkhead. His leg was a mess. There was only one pirate left, and I figured we had a better chance if we waited for help. The guns we’d stolen were out of ammo, and the guy was pinned down in the bridge. Waiting for help was the best option. The problem was that the captain of the ship didn’t like being told what to do. He decided that he was going to retake the bridge himself. Before we could even react, the pirate had a gun to his head and was screaming for a fast boat to get away. Where to, I still haven’t figured out, but that was what he wanted.” She shrugged slightly.

  “Our guys were coming now. We could hear the engines of the ribs getting closer. With every single second, that guy was squeezing harder on the trigger. Rudy and I both knew that he didn’t have the time to wait for the cavalry. If we were going to save him, we needed to do something now. Rudy was bleeding out and we had no bullets left. Just my knife. We figured if Rudy could create a distraction, maybe I could throw the knife from behind the guy and give the captain enough space to escape.” Oz scrubbed her hands over her face.

  “Oz, it wasn’t your fault—”

  “Please. Let me finish.” She waited while Finn nodded. “It didn’t quite work out like that. When I was in position, Rudy started shouting and the pirate half twisted. The twist was just enough to deflect the knife. He turned so that I had a full view before he pulled the trigger. The captain was looking straight at me and there was nothing I could do. I’d played my hand and failed. We should have waited. Maybe then he wouldn’t
be dead. I started to bend down to pick up one of the weapons lying on the floor, but he pulled the trigger. That’s how I got the scar on my stomach. I grabbed a gun as I fell and fired.” She rubbed her stomach. “I spent six months recovering after that, and I learned that the best way to get yourself in trouble is to go off thinking you have all the information. We thought we knew what we were walking into. Eight men died and Rudy lost his leg.”

  “Oz, it wasn’t your fault. You found yourself in a situation and dealt with it the only way you could—”

  “It doesn’t matter. I won’t take that kind of chance with you. You’re too important to me.”

  She felt Finn’s lips against her neck. “You’re important to me too.”

  “So you’ll stay here with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Excellent.”

  “For now. I can’t hide forever, Oz.”

  “I know. Just till we find out more, then we’ll come up with another plan. A long-term one that we can both deal with.”

  “Together?”

  “Together.” The shadows of her past lifted, and even with the threat of Finn’s dad hanging over them, Oz felt the warmth of Finn’s love and trust burning away the guilt that had been her companion for too long.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Junior pushed the cleaning cart down the corridor of Sterling BioTech, picking up the occasional bin and emptying its contents as he went. He slowly approached the server room.

  “This is Delta One. I am approaching target. Needing a little interference here, boys.” He spoke quietly under his breath. The microphone embedded in the button on his collar was sensitive enough to pick up the whispered words. The receiver in his ear relayed the response.

  “Everything’s in place, Delta One. You’re a go to target.”

  He parked the cart outside the door and quickly attached a cable to his own paltry security badge. He connected the other end to a small computer unit before he slid the card into the terminal by the door and waited for the computer to bypass the security codes and grant him access.